I hurt my rude bitsSpent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
(
rob, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
« Go Back
Crushed nutsI must have been about seven at the time. We lived in a large block of flats with a children's play area situated out front. It had recently been converted from lovely cat shit-filled sand to that horrible rubbery stuff they use these days. Apparently, playing with cat shit isn't good for you.
During the conversion, they'd done away with the rusty nail-ridden seesaw we all knew and loved, and replaced it with those stupid plastic ride-ons mounted on giant springs. Being a big lad, I could push one of them down and stand with it on the ground. God, did I look hard, and did I impress all the girlies who were watching.
Well, I did, until the thing pinged up off the ground and straight into the back of my nutsack. Not torn or ripped, but heavily grazed and bruised, and there was enough blood on my pants to warrant a trip to my mum.
I spent the next two weeks with a giant nappy on. So much for impressing the girlies.
(, Fri 14 Jul 2006, 7:14, Reply)
« Go Back