analogies
About 4 years ago, I had the good fortune of being severely drunk at a new year's do in some random stranger's house. I spent most of the evening chatting to two girls, who were also incredibly smashed. One was an amazing blonde bombshell, very clever, good conversation, beautiful body, the list goes on. The other... well, put it this way, she wouldn't be out of place in a certain novel involving a man called Ahab with a harpoon gun and a penchant for seafaring. After a while, I managed to convince the blonde goddess to join me in one of the bedrooms upstairs. The effects of spending all night drinking suddenly hit me, and I decided to pop to the toilet rather than accidentally introduce this lovely woman to watersports.

On returning to the room, however, I discovered that not only had the girl passed out due to alcohol abuse, but also that her friend had decided that the bed was the new place to be. I, of course, took the only chivalrous option, and switched my attention to the rather unattractive but surprisingly available new woman. Having managed to vaguely achieve my goal of bedding a lady, I made my excuses (namely I was too drunk to stand straight) and left.

A few days into the new year, I encountered the first woman, now sober, in a pub, without her voluminous friend. I went over to apologise, but rather than being upset she decided that the best way to make up for my less than stellar choice was to leave me with this analogy -

"It's like you walked into a restaurant, looked at the menu, and ordered the tastiest, most amazing, beautiful aperitif they had, then got served lukewarm kedgerie."

Tasty.
(DonMorte Cake is a made up drug, Sat 10 Dec 2011, 22:14, Reply)