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My Mother in law has a habit of "gifting". She will take crap she doesn't want anymore and hide it around our house when she visits. Tell us your tales of the In Laws.

(, Tue 13 Jun 2017, 12:15)
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'Gerroverere you fuggin' cunt!'
Mark King was drunk. Again. The Butlin's gig had gone down a storm and as usual Mark was celebrating post-gig with a couple of bottles of Tesco Finest Sauv Blanc, his 'weapon of choice'. Lindup was sitting nervously by the door, dreading the inevitable.

'They like you best, Mike, you fuggin' wanker. Why???' he wailed plaintively. 'What have you got that I haven't?' A salty tear ran down Mark's cruelly-disfigured visage. 'I, I d-don't know, Mark' stammered The Lindonator. He knew what was coming next. 'I'll fuggin' show *you* popular!', slurred Mark, fumbling with his belt. 'Please Mark, not again' begged Lindski-1. 'Here I come!!!' bellowed Mark, and he span round unevenly, spread his pockmarked arse cheeks and let rip a tumultous, reeking shart all over Lindow Man's terrified face and shoulders.

'Thanks Mark. Sorry Mark.' sobbed a crestfallen, shit-caked Lindup. 'Run THAT in yer family' murmured Mark as he fell fast asleep, snoring face down on the sofa.
(, Mon 10 Jul 2017, 14:24, closed)
Lindow Man was found near where I grew up
So naturally we had a zillion school trips to see him.

He looked like someone ran over an old leather handbag.

www.britishmuseum.org/research/collection_online/collection_object_details.aspx?objectId=808672&partId=1
(, Mon 10 Jul 2017, 15:04, closed)
"preserved in a bog"
lol, "bog"
(, Mon 10 Jul 2017, 15:26, closed)
I feel a strong affinity with him

(, Mon 10 Jul 2017, 15:29, closed)
This is a better answer than mine

(, Mon 10 Jul 2017, 16:34, closed)
*CHAT REDACTED*

(, Tue 11 Jul 2017, 15:37, closed)
Alas poor pete marsh
We knew him well
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 11:03, closed)
Get on up
Get on Lindup
(, Tue 11 Jul 2017, 10:46, closed)
When you're Lindup with a beautiful woman
It's hard
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 14:52, closed)
Lindup, baby Lindup
Gimme your heart gimme gimme your heart gimme gimme all your looove
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 15:26, closed)
You gotta speed it up
And then you gotta slow it down
'Cause if you believe that our love can hit the top
You gotta play around
But soon you will find that there comes a time
For making your Lindup
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 16:04, closed)
It's Lin-dup
It's Lin-dup
It's Lin-dup
It's Lin-dup
It's Lin-dup
It's Lin-dup

It's DARE
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 17:03, closed)
Love Lindups up where we belooong
Where the eagles fly, on a mountain high
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 17:16, closed)
You raise Lindup, so I can stand on mountains
You raise Lindup to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise Lindup to more than I can be
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 17:31, closed)
Lindup, a-get get, get down
911's a joke in your town
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 17:37, closed)
Stop right now, thank you Mike Lindup
I need somebody with a human touch
Hey you always on the run
Gotta slow it down baby, gotta have some fun
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 17:54, closed)
Mike Linduppin' in the USA
Mike Linduppin' in the USA
Ay, Mike Linduppin'
Mike Linduppin' in the USA
Mike Linduppin' in the USA
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 19:03, closed)
Hi ho, silvup
You got me Mike Lindup
He's riding on down
To rescue me
(, Thu 13 Jul 2017, 14:18, closed)
More Lindup stuff?
A couple of years ago I might've suggested b3ta and /qotw as a place to go a fellow netizen as a place to read a funny tale and have a good laugh.
There's no way I'd send the lady who gave me a parking ticket the other day here now. I wouldn't wish some of the shit that spouts from here on my mother in law.

Yet the mods appear to be happy to side with the shit-stirrers and at most do absolutely fuck all. Well done the mods. Where are they with their "step hammers"?
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 18:01, closed)
Cheers

(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 19:39, closed)
Congratulations you have finally pushed me to the point of never coming back to this site! I already felt that this website was on it's last legs, but this capped it off for me!

(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 20:47, closed)
Same time next week?
I'll be behind the skip as usual
(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 22:53, closed)
Nobody is flouncing, getting upset on the internet or any of the other things you think your posts cause.

(, Wed 12 Jul 2017, 23:46, closed)
Harrowsing.
:D
(, Sun 16 Jul 2017, 6:52, closed)

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