Rapists Tears.
It was only last summer and me and some fellow cohorts had gone forth on our annual camping trip to a large festival in some field in the middle of nowhere. Usual sort of deal, live in a tent for four days, live off nothing but alcohol and pot noodles plus whatever greasy food you find at the burger vans. (although there was actually a hog roast stand which was pretty good)
Normally this wouldn't have been so bad, however after a night of drinking my friends home-brewed ales, one of which was known as "Rapists Tears" (said so on the plastic keg) i was feeling a bit worse for wear and collapsed in my tent. Now... rapists tears has been known to bring a 30something year old man with twice my constitution to the floor, and being a 20something student i can normally handle a good amount of booze, so woke up the next day feeling utterly shite however the birds were swaying and the trees were singing so all seemed fine in my opinion, so nipped down to the big tent we had set up, and munched on a pot noodle for breakfast.
Now this is where it all went wrong, after my morning cig i stood up and felt a bit woozy.
Oh dear.... best nip down to the portajohns.
However half way there a large amount of vomit was already in my mouth, not a good sign, so i ran into the portajohn trying to fold back the tides of rapist's induced vomit, locked the door, turned to face the john and...
BLUH!
Noodles.
Shit loads of Noodles.
All over the back wall.
The side walls.
The floor.
And around the toilet, but not so much in it.
Noodles.
Que me exiting the john, trying to look inconspicuous and slink back to our groups tent before anyone notices.
( mr schteven In a staring competition with a squid on, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 1:31, Reply)