I went to a boarding school
and living in boarding houses meant that we were forced to interact with younger and older years, meaning a sharp increase in the number of weird kids, from the asian kid who threatened to have you 'expended' for being racist if you ever took the piss to the fucking mental guy 2 years above who put his head through a security glass door and set fire to his curtains one night in a deodorant experiment.

But still none outshone the real oddball who told us that his two sisters were porn stars in the hope it would make us respect him more. He even brought in pictures on a floppy disc(1 bitmap per disc) of a load of different girls and tried to pass them off as his sisters. Why he thought having pictures of his own sisters naked would gain him respect I'll never know. It didn't.
Nor did telling us that he'd broken someone's arm for bullying his friend and been officially banned from any kind of judo for 2 years, which was about to expire. That lead to people (not me) swinging different objects (from pillows to army boots) at him because he claimed he could easily block them. He couldn't.
He had 2 girlfriends at the school, fair play, that was more than me, but one of them looked like a busty horse with nipples by her knees and the other can only loosely be classed as a girl but is probably a man by now.
My favorite story involving him revolves around his birthday when we decided to be nice to him. unfortunately this meant we couldn't think of a single word to say and ended up eating breakfast in unbearable silence. The silence was so bad that he came out with "I've noticed your not saying anything, would you like me to bully myself?" At this suggestion any thoughts of us being nice to him died and we spent the rest of the day egging him on to be more offensive to and about himself.

I am no longer a complete bastard, but then I haven't met him for a long time.
(gingerchris I'm trying..., Sun 21 Jan 2007, 22:56, Reply)