Well, MONO!, I had a lovely weekend. Thank's for asking.
On Saturday, amongst other things, I managed to take a photograph of a yellow wagtail.
On Sunday I hung a door with my dad. Or do I mean hanged?! Imagine that! Ho ho! No, I mean hung.
Yesterday my cousin came down from Scotland with his female friend. It was very nice to see him and she seems jolly pleasant too.
I wish it would be sunny for a few days, though. Also, I wish I had a part time job again.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:12, archived)

That sounds lovely.
bored yet?
( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:16, archived)

Yes. Very.
I may injure myself to get sent home.
You?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:17, archived)

Does anyone know a good way to induce vomiting so I can spew on my desk?
I've never been able to get fingers down the throat to work.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:20, archived)

put loads of salt in a cup of water and down it

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:23, archived)

I don't have any salt handy. I may have to bring spewing supplies in tomorrow.
If this one works, it is good because I can drink a cup of water at my desk without looking like I am trying to induce vomiting.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:27, archived)

for now, punch yourself hard as fuck in the bollocks
that should make you spew.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:31, archived)

No.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:31, archived)

you clearly don't want to go home that badly then.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:34, archived)

I've never spewed from getting punched in the balls.
And I get punched in the balls a lot.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:34, archived)

okay, what supplies are around your desk or around the office?

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:35, archived)

I dunno. Stationery and that.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:38, archived)

eat staples

( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:42, archived)

fuck it, just look all ill and then go to the bogs and pretend to throw up.
you know what? you're a grown-up just go home.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:43, archived)

Yeah. K.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:44, archived)

glad I could help!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:49, archived)

same

( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:38, archived)

I might just punch someone.
I'll probably get sent home then.
( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:42, archived)

If only there was a blade left lying around somewhere. I could give myself a decent gash on the arm, blame them for leaving a blade lying around and insist on leaving to get a tetanus shot.
Which would make me feel poorly so I'd have to go home to sleep it off.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:44, archived)

Or
cut someone else take a photo of it say that you got cut and have to go home.
( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:46, archived)

I could look up photos of wounds on the internet, print one out, glue it to my arm and say the fucking butler did it and I need to leave.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:48, archived)

or use a red pen and colour in your arm
then say you left the lid of the photocopier open and it gave you sunburn because you're one of those dark-skinned albinos.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:51, archived)

Or just go home.

( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:52, archived)

I don't think he can, he seems to want to do it wakki style.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:54, archived)

Well, it's always better to get sent home rather than walk out.
Innit.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:57, archived)

just tell them your not well, if you're really stuck then just shit yourself.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:58, archived)

smash stuff

( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:04, archived)