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I haven't been to a holiday camp show in years,
but we went tonight because it was wrestling, and it was a right laugh.

St Ives was alright, but their Park & Ride can fuck right off.

/holidayblog
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 20:23, Reply)
Was it sexy female mud wrestling or old fat sweaty blokes with beards?

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 20:46, Reply)
Sweaty men.
Lots of fat, bearded flesh on display. We all had fun booing the heels.
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 21:04, Reply)
Go seal island, it's a great trip ,

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 20:54, Reply)
Eden Project tomorrow, but a boat trip is on the "to do" list.

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 21:10, Reply)
I never understood the edan project, it's just a hot house, ffs old Bexley has a banana tree in its, they should grow weed in it

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 21:17, Reply)
Geodesic domes are inherently cool, plus I get to bandy around the term "biome" which the kids associate with Minecraft.

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 21:29, Reply)
It's fucking dull , and expensive

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 21:37, Reply)
there is a zip line from the top down to the entrance if you're into that sorta thing!

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 21:42, Reply)
That's what she said.

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 21:44, Reply)
Nice
Any "formerly of" guys?
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 21:02, Reply)
Nah, amateur lot, but they worked the (somewhat small) crowd well.
Ceiling was a bit low, so one of the tiles got kicked out as one of the guys flipped over the ropes.
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 21:10, Reply)
Couldn't be arsed getting a bus back to my campsite at 5am so slept behind a tree in the park.
Woke an hour or so later and got chatting to some folk from Sheffield, smoked a spliff.
(, Sun 20 Aug 2017, 8:27, Reply)
today i had a lovely conversation
with a man who claims the real brucie died years ago and the one that died yesterday was a clone, who they created to fulfil the original's contractual obligations. he says the double was killed off because it was becoming harder to maintain the charade, as a man of his advanced years wouldn't, in his opinion, have been so active.
what utter batshit mentalry have you heard lately?
alt: lunch
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:55, Reply)
The moon guy. And this.
b3ta.com/talk/8107794
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 15:21, Reply)
that is impressively nuts

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 15:23, Reply)
Yeah, I just didn't really know how to respond.

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 15:48, Reply)
it's a tough one, right enough

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 15:52, Reply)
The Dad of one of the people I work with is moving to New York to start up a business as a spirit medium
Which had me trapped in a one sided argument against three people who were convinced it was a real ability, and not a form of conning the recently bereaved.

Not really batshit mental, more woefully ignorant.

Alt: Cheese and chive omelette
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 15:38, Reply)
a non-omelette upset me yesterday
i dreamed i had bought mushrooms and, when i decided i wanted a mushroom omelette, i was very disappointed to open the fridge and realise i did not, in fact, have mushrooms.
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 15:46, Reply)
Hang on,
Three people you work with believe in spirit mediums? Please kill them.
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 15:48, Reply)
when dealing with spirits, i prefer a large

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 15:56, Reply)
If I wasn't a lazy socially awkward person I'd learn how to do cold reading to show them it's all a trick
But you know, fuck that
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 19:12, Reply)
I've got the shits

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 16:02, Reply)
you haven't by any chance upped your life insurance since getting married, have you?

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 16:06, Reply)
Heh

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 16:30, Reply)
I had a dig about the hip hop ny scene, it all funky topaz Jones stuff, can't find anything gritty, my brother likes token, but he's 50 and in Jamaica

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 18:49, Reply)
Just having my 4th.
Arse is in tatters. Slightly soggy pants don't help. Camping eh?
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 18:47, Reply)
Lol

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 12:16, Reply)
lol u r wel fit

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 12:47, Reply)
lol

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 12:52, Reply)
ur face is lol m8

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 12:54, Reply)
Lulz

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 13:26, Reply)

[citation needed]
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 13:28, Reply)
Hiyas

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 13:54, Reply)
ikr?!

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:05, Reply)
Haha, I love this sort of stuff

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:09, Reply)
ROFL

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:19, Reply)
we have a right laugh here don't we

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:27, Reply)
"we"

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:32, Reply)
"laugh"

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:40, Reply)
"right"

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:41, Reply)
"we" "we"

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:49, Reply)
"tapir"

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:55, Reply)
wakki

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:50, Reply)
i get this lol

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 14:52, Reply)
i just got pissed on

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 15:24, Reply)
That was me m8

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 16:02, Reply)
Cornwall seems nice.
We've been greeted by strong winds and a hail storm.
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 8:48, Reply)
Morning MoMu
That's standard isn't it? I don't know I haven't been south of the Peak District in about 5 years now, the South is a strange amd scary place to me
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 8:52, Reply)
Cornwall's luverly.
Try the fudge and the cream teas. Cracking coastlines as well.
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 8:52, Reply)
Lovely place , if I didn't have kids I'd move down there right on the coast

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 8:56, Reply)
Whereabouts are you?
We've recently returned from our annual pilgrimage to Botallack.
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 9:11, Reply)

ot
+s
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 9:19, Reply)
I've just had to splint one of my tent poles with a peg and some gaffa.

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 9:20, Reply)
Filth

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 9:43, Reply)
I bet Richard Osman is there
he's everywhere
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 9:49, Reply)
Richard Osmanipotence, more like

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 9:58, Reply)
amen

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 10:15, Reply)
I find him rather sexy

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 10:03, Reply)
oh

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 10:17, Reply)
It is very nice
Not as nice as Dorset though
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 10:02, Reply)
There is nothing of any note or worth to see after crossing the Tamar.

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 10:46, Reply)

I am one of the most "politically correct people" on this planet but I'm sorry we need to claim our country back and quick I get the impression every one else's needs come before our own if I'm wrong I apologise profusely
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 5:42, Reply)

'ning Enoch
(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 6:47, Reply)
Sniff my nutz

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 19:43, Reply)
Nope

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 20:34, Reply)

youtu.be/g8DGrc1uh7I
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 20:41, Reply)
Big tune

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 20:54, Reply)
I just fell down a little web rabbit hole where he was murdered by the Illuminati/freemasons/government, people are nutz

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 21:10, Reply)
Old dirty , soz I drifted off there and forgot what video I posted , lol

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 21:24, Reply)
:)

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 22:26, Reply)
I'd love to here some underground ny rap that the teens are into, live club stuff, but I'd get jacked :(

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 22:31, Reply)
I know shit all about modern rap but to my knowledge the bay area took the real hip hop crown from the east in about 1999-2k
This may be well out of date and wrong but there you go
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 22:48, Reply)
I always liked east and industrial hip hop more, west coast was holiday hip hop but with extreme violence

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 22:54, Reply)
Same here
The 'laid back gangsta shit' is bent, sunny p funk nonsense but there was a tipping point where ny went 'thug' and it was embarrassing and skills based MCing went West along with scratch djing and breaking etc
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 22:59, Reply)
Here's a great example, come on California
youtu.be/pwUyN-rysxQ
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 23:02, Reply)
I suppose I could just go to a London grinde underground place, but I'd get jacked :(

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 23:25, Reply)
No
It must be way out of date: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nutz
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 20:42, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KbTLfe_5Hs
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 21:37, Reply)
That makes me want to cry

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 22:52, Reply)
The pub I'm at now has a perfect copy of Edward Hoppers Nighthawks on the wall, but with the pub being the venue. It's really well done, and much like the original everyone looks like they wish they had somewhere else to be.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 22:11, Reply)
#noiraf
Take a picture eh
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 23:09, Reply)
we need to go deeper

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 23:11, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdzyIabVz6E
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 23:10, Reply)
I think the first platform arcade game I played like that was wonder boy , early 80s I probably

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 23:32, Reply)
Here's a new one, they got someone shit at platform games to record themselves playing it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNugEcLn450
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 23:43, Reply)
Hello there!
Oh, and Bruce Forsyth is dead
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:37, Reply)
Shove it, Herman Munster

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:40, Reply)
Lillian

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:41, Reply)
I'd put some white streaks in her hair

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:47, Reply)
ha

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:50, Reply)
^

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:03, Reply)
^^

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:24, Reply)
well, hello, little fella!

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:41, Reply)
I prefer the term 'compact'

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:41, Reply)
MURDERER!!!111!1!!! MODS HE KILLED BRUCIE !!!111!!

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:41, Reply)
And I'd do it again
Condolences to his family and all that, but I couldn't fucking stand him
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:42, Reply)
I've passed that sentiment on.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:21, Reply)
Oh

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:43, Reply)
Yeah
So....looking forward to christmas? Looks like Tesco have already started selling Heroes with christmas packaging. Apparently this annoying for some reason.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:44, Reply)
I have, in fact, been making Christmas plans
because I do rather like spending time with my family. They're a good bunch and we'll have fun.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:47, Reply)
But your glad a man who did you no harm is dead

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:51, Reply)
I infer indifference

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:52, Reply)
As Gari says, I'm indifferent

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:53, Reply)
Not what you said up there

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:55, Reply)
I didn't say I was glad he's dead

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:57, Reply)
Err you killed him because you couldn't stand him, that must of brought pleasure

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:58, Reply)
Not as much as you might think

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:04, Reply)
we'll *I'm* glad you did it anyway
Someone had to deal with that wanker one way or another - he was out of control
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:06, Reply)
Good game, my fucking arse

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:11, Reply)
it probably is a bit gamey

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:46, Reply)
Dunno why you're so chirpy what with Forsyth carking it

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:44, Reply)
You've answered your own question there, m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:45, Reply)
Fair do's, what's for supper?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:45, Reply)
Cheese on toast? You can have a dash of lee & perrins if you're good

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:46, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8108169
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:49, Reply)
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:47, Reply)
I liked him in Bedknobs & Broomsticks

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:48, Reply)
Yeah, he's was alright in that
a total cunt in everything else though
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:51, Reply)
Got to be honest
I don't really remember him from anything else. I'm sure I've watched him in stuff but it hardly sticks in the mind. Higher or lower cards? Was that a gameshow?
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:51, Reply)
Play Your Cards Right
Generation Game, all sorts of shit like that.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:52, Reply)
All that shite was what I had to endure at my nan's on my mum's side.
Every weekend without fail they watched that, as regular as church on their Sundays,deviation was seemingly herecy. Cilla and Barrymore as well. They didn't have a video. I used to read the argos to pass the time.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:59, Reply)
urgh, unlucky

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:01, Reply)
It was even less fun than the Catholic services they made me go on.
Much preferred going to my atheistic grandparents; they had a vcr and some Palin books and stuff I could leaf through.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:03, Reply)
and don't forget all that aggro you got for wearing the wrong trousers that time

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:17, Reply)
Lol

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:50, Reply)
Hallo meine kleine flebenskunstlers
Haha, I'm pretending to be German!
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:49, Reply)
No he's not.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:49, Reply)
His wife seems to think he is

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:50, Reply)
She's thought that for 17 years
maybe he smells?
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:51, Reply)
I bet he does, he looks the sort
Mint imperials and wee, that's my guess
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:59, Reply)
He never brushed his teeth, and frequently used public toilets without washing is hands afterwards
I reckon
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:06, Reply)
I reckon he had a C19th egg cup which he used to rub his smeggy bellend in every night

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:07, Reply)
definitely

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:23, Reply)
As a far better man than I once said, '100% fact'.
#BreakfastAtJimis
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:28, Reply)
Didn't he do well

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:49, Reply)
yassssssssssssssssssssssssss
I had him down for this year.
Should have put a bet on
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:51, Reply)
Oh come on, the odds would not have been great

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:53, Reply)
Bookies won't place death bets

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:00, Reply)
I spot a business opportunity

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)
By the way
He was a cantankerous old shit when a friend of mine had to direct him for a BBC Christmas promo, he apparently nearly made a few lady PA's cry.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:04, Reply)
you could have broken the news a bit more gently

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:09, Reply)
Ssshhhh *strokes head*
Brucie's dead
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:11, Reply)

ad lmit
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:13, Reply)
*chuckle*

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:14, Reply)

i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01728/chin_1728017c.jpg
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:15, Reply)
I never realised there were so many horrible people on this forum, it's been quite a shock

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:13, Reply)
I think they want to shock people then they laugh it off as banter

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:17, Reply)
I'm just showing off

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:18, Reply)
i'd stay away from the fp for a few days
those satirical geniuses on /board are going to be scathing
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:19, Reply)
Might report them to the police

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:22, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/board/11235376
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:24, Reply)
He'll stick himself on the fp the fucking cunt

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:26, Reply)
Yep no replies top of the fp, who do it manolith can you see? Captain wow by any chance or twat himself

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:41, Reply)
i can see why you'd think so, but it was actually rob
it only has 3 'likes' though. half the stuff on /talk's populol page have more than that
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:51, Reply)
Ginger cunt

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:52, Reply)
Come on rob if you are lurking defend this shit and your crap choice of back slapping mods? You fucking can't , you ruined this place you wanker

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:55, Reply)
I'd say his silence speaks volumes

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 18:54, Reply)
I'll bet some wag makes a picture of him looking like a zombie!!!
Haha, I love zombies!

brb, just working on my 'zombie escape plan'!!! haha!!!
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:26, Reply)
i learnt about it from facebook. on a status that said rip brucy <3
the first and only comment was 'bloody pedo'
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:15, Reply)
haha

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:15, Reply)
nice to see you
to see you, dead
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:11, Reply)
I text'd almost this exact joke to my mum a moment ago
and she replied with 'who's died?'

fucks sake, mum
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:12, Reply)
maybe she just thought you were threatening her

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:15, Reply)
lol
it's possible
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:16, Reply)
we're so cool

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:20, Reply)
We SO are
What with our Netflix and Fidget Spinners and Social Medias and such
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:22, Reply)
I liked his other catchphrase
"Shut it ya fuck trumpet"
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:14, Reply)
"last one to puke is a fucken bender"

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:17, Reply)
"I shit cunts like you for fackin' breakfast my son'
Takes me back
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:19, Reply)
"Make it hard or take your time wasting cock out of 'ere"

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:25, Reply)
Right, I'm off
Bye you pricks x
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:25, Reply)

off bent
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 17:30, Reply)
The person Sat adjacent from me just pulled out the dregs of a carefully clinged pack of digestives from their handbag and started eating them.
I just find that level of careful planning fucking revolting tbh.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 18:04, Reply)
in b4 mod banning

(, Sat 19 Aug 2017, 10:21, Reply)
6/7 today
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-40927595
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:39, Reply)
i'm all quizzed out, soz

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:41, Reply)
shove it up your tired excuse
and fart it
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:45, Reply)
One quiz a day, drs orders

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:54, Reply)
Sounds like one of those homoerotic medicines
2can's so fond of
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:07, Reply)
ntt
why is this a thing?
ilovethe90s.seetickets.com/tour/i-love-the-90-s-?pre=ilt90spre
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:38, Reply)
Because people are cunts
We had someone come in last week asking us to put posters up for a Backstreet Boys concert

*edit* wrong boy band, it was Boyzone
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:40, Reply)
they are skint

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:42, Reply)
ugh

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:54, Reply)
Antititstamine

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:39, Reply)
Like what that one off of Mel & Kim had

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:41, Reply)
Slytherin
Your score:
2/7

yay
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:46, Reply)
Hufflepuff
yessssss
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:48, Reply)
SHITWANK

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:49, Reply)
to the tune of 'Top Cat'

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:52, Reply)
googling for the lyrics to the top cat theme, i found out that it was called 'boss cat' in the uk, at least for a time
can any of our, ahem... more mature posters confirm this?
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:57, Reply)
Old. They're old. And wankers

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:57, Reply)
It was to avoid being sued for breach of copyright by a brand of cat food.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:58, Reply)
so i read, but i remember watching it and it being called top cat so i guess they must have changed it at some point before my formative years

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:04, Reply)
Likewise.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:04, Reply)
Can confirm

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:02, Reply)
cool, thanks

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:04, Reply)
pickle rick
wilhughes3d.wixsite.com/wilhughes
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:26, Reply)
nice
that plumbus is pretty gross though
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:29, Reply)
if you click on shop you can buy them, might get my lad a mr meseeks print

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:30, Reply)
luckily i'm broke

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:40, Reply)
can confirm also
But the theme tune remained the same which was somewhat confusing
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:03, Reply)
hm, maybe that's why i remember it being top then
also, all the characters called him T.C.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:05, Reply)
It's for T'Boss Cat.
Yorkshire's most famous cartoon hero.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:09, Reply)
it was only written in the titles as boss cat, this is from 1989, how young are you?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoA43NdzTuU
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:16, Reply)
and the whole cartoon was a rip off of the phil silvers show

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:18, Reply)
Yeah but nobody remembers that unless they're well old lol.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:19, Reply)
phil silvers was fantastic, and a staple of bbc2 for years

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:20, Reply)
it's currently being repeated on forces tv
as is the A team
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:23, Reply)
A-Team is 2000% shitter than I remember

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:27, Reply)
can confirm

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:31, Reply)
One of those shows like Knight Rider and Magnum where you should watch the intro only, then turn it the fuck off
Just we're clear, this is NOT I REPEAT NOT the case with Manimal
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:32, Reply)
i still enjoy the A team
but never did like manimal
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:34, Reply)
Then I'm afraid we can no longer be friends.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:39, Reply)
how can we be lovers if we can't be friends?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:51, Reply)
It's easier than you'd think
I've had sex with people I fucking hate
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:05, Reply)
i usually don't hate them till after the sex

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:13, Reply)
I don't discriminate. m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:15, Reply)
disagree, magnum is still cool, but then it wasn't meant to be a kids show

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:34, Reply)
I set my BT box to 'record series'
I can assure you that after about 25 episodes you start to go a little mad. They made MILLIONS of them.

I did the same for Kojak, there must have been 100+ episodes.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:38, Reply)
oh i know they made a lot, and it did get shitter and shitter, it was good after the pub viewing for years tho on itv

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:44, Reply)
the magnum/murder, she wrote crossover episode was weird

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:57, Reply)
Manimal was ace.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:37, Reply)
Every week, I always wanted it to be the snake
and it was never the snake
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:57, Reply)
GS?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:02, Reply)
I wish

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:02, Reply)
keep believing x

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:17, Reply)
freeview?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:27, Reply)
no idea
i'm on virgin
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:33, Reply)
there's a frinkiac gif for that

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:31, Reply)

31.media.tumblr.com/4ee9c1c58155b1062349eb7b322f0fe4/tumblr_mf8cor9BgE1rsm741o1_500.gif
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:39, Reply)
not that young
must just be misremembering then. i guess it's easier to remember song lyrics than a title card. thanks all
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:30, Reply)
and it looks like it was the beeb being prissy about product placement in the titles more than anything else

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:33, Reply)
Oh, I thought it was to the tune of 'Love Shack'

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:58, Reply)
SHIT WANK BEBBEH

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:04, Reply)
shit wank is a little old place where we can get together, eh?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:05, Reply)
Yep, correct

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:33, Reply)
Heathcliff was a better cartoon with a better theme tune.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 18:06, Reply)
Dumbledore suspected the Sorting Hat may be in the early stages of Pick's disease

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:53, Reply)
prick's disease more like!

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:07, Reply)
it's not funny, m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:11, Reply)
you just don't get it

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:16, Reply)
No, no, I get it
hahaha, it's funny! I get it! See??
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:26, Reply)
haha, this guy's alright

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:34, Reply)
I get no respect, no respect at all
*adjusts tie*
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:48, Reply)
+ r

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:07, Reply)
Drumbledore?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:12, Reply)
sorting hart

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:13, Reply)
ah ok

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:13, Reply)
hole in one

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:55, Reply)
WUN HUNDRED AN AYYYYYYTEE

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:55, Reply)

this/10
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:55, Reply)
ace

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:56, Reply)
i've watched it several times now, and i'll probably watch it several more

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:57, Reply)
5/7
What a nice score.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:57, Reply)
Slytherin
3/7. nailed the knitting one, though
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:07, Reply)
also scored 6/7 m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:08, Reply)
4 FOR ME

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:18, Reply)
bit greedy

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:32, Reply)
My kids thoroughly enjoyed "japanese camera man gets bowl broken over head"

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:52, Reply)
fuck I hate Java

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:44, Reply)
don't go there then, try bali

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:46, Reply)
Hindo's

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:57, Reply)
+cheeky

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:59, Reply)
don't spray it on then, try Africa

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:48, Reply)
Hindont's

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:58, Reply)
don't drink it then, try tea

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:48, Reply)
Hinwont's

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 15:58, Reply)
protect yourself tho
www.tradedirectinsurance.co.uk/Bad-Brew-Insurance.aspx
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:38, Reply)
Fuck I hate wriging covering letters
then I did this, then I did that, then I let this then I innovated blah blah blah fuck it would be so much easier if I just took some cocaine and turned on a voice to text app
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 16:30, Reply)
Well done McBeef
Yet again you've brought this place to a grinding halt. CHRIST, I hate him SO much. SO much.
What do YOU hate SO much? So much.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:25, Reply)
You right now

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:27, Reply)
Both of you need to cool down
Then cool up
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:31, Reply)
alright kelis

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:39, Reply)
Tggi

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:39, Reply)
i gotchu fam

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:18, Reply)
Trees
They are wankers.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:28, Reply)
Big branch-y cunts

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:39, Reply)
Got one which is about to cost me a fair few grand in repair bills
The absolute arsehole.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:54, Reply)
Don't forget their fucking leaves
Pricks
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:58, Reply)
nothing really
you know me, Mr Chill, don't really let anything get to me
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:29, Reply)
why'd you kill batman's parents then, joe?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:40, Reply)
I don't know enough about comic books to reply to this

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:44, Reply)
and yet, you did
batman's folks were killed by a man called joe chill
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:53, Reply)
Some men just want to watch the world bum, Mano

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
that comma is unnecessary

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:52, Reply)
only 8 :(
www.watchuseek.com/quiz-really-know-iconic-watches-part-2/
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:34, Reply)
I got 5.
I like the watchmaker Moser
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:58, Reply)
Lovely watches, and even one made of Swiss cheese for lols

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:18, Reply)
that actually ended up being pretty interesting
www.hodinkee.com/articles/h-moser-swiss-mad-watch-swiss-cheese-limited-edition-venturer-introducing
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:35, Reply)
they are funny, but i agree that 60% of value means the watch could be cobbled together with chinese parts
www.h-moser.com/en/news/05-2017
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:41, Reply)
+on it
I like the watchmaker Moser grab your 40, let's get keyed
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:29, Reply)
I'm waiting on a Veronica gag

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:33, Reply)
I'm a lover not a hater
unless someone slightly annoys me of course, then I want to kill the cunt
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
I'm a lover, not a fighter,
so when I strike, I aim for the erogenous zones.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:38, Reply)
the intelligentsia

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:38, Reply)
intelligenitals

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:40, Reply)
now you put it like that

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:41, Reply)
might patent that
trying to think of product ideas now
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:40, Reply)
woah

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:43, Reply)
The bourgeouis

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:47, Reply)
anyone who has ever shopped at waitrose

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:53, Reply)

media.giphy.com/media/Vy0o3e2OO7bji/giphy.gif
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
That was one odd cheese advert

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:50, Reply)
Chinese version of the office

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:57, Reply)
that was racist of me
I apologise
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:58, Reply)
there is a difference between poor taste and being hateful
but I accept your apology
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:04, Reply)
WELL EXCUSE ME FOR BREATHING

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:00, Reply)
You're excused

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:04, Reply)
no m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:12, Reply)
Don't contradict me

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:16, Reply)
I will

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:17, Reply)
Won't

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:19, Reply)
why can't you just stop, yeah?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:16, Reply)
sick of it

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:18, Reply)
That 'yeah?' prick posted on here again the other day, yeah?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:32, Reply)
FrayBentos?
Man, he is SUCH a cock
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:43, Reply)
That's the cunt, yeah?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:50, Reply)
ps GAY BENT TOSS

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:50, Reply)
Gristle in my food
chewing some chicken and there's a bit that's connective tissue, tendon or cartilage - oh god it's like trying to chew wool. Just thinking about it sends tremors through my body yeahhrghhhhhh.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:23, Reply)
Thanks for that flashback
to that buffet in Beijing where what looked like chicken nuggets turned out to be gristle nuggets.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:28, Reply)
dahn't gwumble, give a whistle
and this'll help fings turrrn out for the beeeeessst
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:30, Reply)
My partner can chew on chicken legs and thighs
to the point it looks like it's been through a sand-blaster. Me? As soon as something bites back it's discarded.

I even find calamari disgusting because of the chewy texture. I actually gagged when I bit into some octopus sushi once.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:38, Reply)
I quite like calamari and octopus (had some of the latter last night, in fact),
but anything related to gristle, cartilage or greasy skin can fuck off.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 14:45, Reply)
Hey! You! The /talk steady crew!
Tell us weekend plans, do a wee, do a poo
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:26, Reply)
It's considerate of you to ask, Richard.
I'm going bowling and to the cinema on Sunday, and tonight is Friday drinks with some fashionable young people. Other plans are currenly pending.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:27, Reply)
Wot fillum?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:58, Reply)
A dramatisation of the life of Egon Schiele, fact fans.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:15, Reply)
wot, 'im who drew pics of himself with his knob out?
EDIT: yes
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:21, Reply)
mcbeef has been doing that for years and no one has seen fit to dramatise his life

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:23, Reply)
cos he's 100 years too late
or as he calls it "Le Wrong Generation"
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:23, Reply)
Should have called it "Le Wang Generation".

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:25, Reply)
*waggles cigar*

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:53, Reply)
That's the one.
If the film's not an hour and a half of a skinny Austrian man with his knob out, I'm asking for my money back.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:23, Reply)

chiele pengler
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:23, Reply)
^ collects spores, moulds and fungus.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:24, Reply)
well, not deliberately

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:26, Reply)
what a coincidence
Ragnarok also collects spores, moulds and fungi under his foreskin
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:24, Reply)
Including fifteen strains previously unknown to science.
At the gentlemen's club they call me "Tube Seat".
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:26, Reply)

A dramatisation of the life of Egon Schiele, fact fans. Emoji Movie
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:25, Reply)
I can't believe Patrick fucking Stewart had a hand in that offence against the seventh art.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:32, Reply)
I can, he's a northern prick

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:42, Reply)
Mate.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:50, Reply)
Oh, didn't see you there

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:08, Reply)
But he's supposed to have, like, gravitas and stuff.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:59, Reply)
Easy money to be made when your standards go out the window.
He'll be selling blow jobs to sailors next.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:26, Reply)
Chill tonight,
Bullshit stag do tomorrow. Recover and study sunday.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:29, Reply)
Post pics of your haircut.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:32, Reply)
I've decided to "miss my train" And just turn up for the dinner.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:37, Reply)
good lad

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:37, Reply)
There was a little gathering in town to show solidarity with the Charlottsvile stuff.
One of the people had a pretty elaborate sign tgat just said "racism is bad"
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:41, Reply)
Was it Jeremy Corbyn?
Sounds about his level
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:47, Reply)
+ mm'kay

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:15, Reply)

haircut pelmit
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:37, Reply)
I heard he sculpts his pubes into a bowl cut
then waggles his cock while saying in serious voice "it's life Jim, but not as we know it".
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:55, Reply)

he's the one in the shades
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:04, Reply)
looks like Amorous Badger to me

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:14, Reply)
Inlaws tomorrow
That's about it. Might have a wank
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:32, Reply)
combine the two to save time

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:34, Reply)
But who will hold my beer?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:36, Reply)
your father-in-law will surely lend a hand

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:27, Reply)
You're right
I could hold my own beer
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:28, Reply)
you've pretty much covered them with your post

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:33, Reply)

st o
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:34, Reply)
alright crazylegs mcbeefo
I'm off to the English seaside wearing my smartest kiss me quick hat
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:34, Reply)
I used to be mates* with Crazy Legs
His real name is Richard Colon lol


*this is something of an exaggeration, I'd see him a couple of times a year at b-boy events and we'd chat
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:37, Reply)

chat wank eachother off while doing increasingly complex breakdance routines.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:38, Reply)
my trademark 'naked windmill' was the talk of the town

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:39, Reply)
Oh that was you? I remember reading about that in B Boy Bumming magazine

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:41, Reply)
Yup
You didn't know you were mates with a celebrity, did you?
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:47, Reply)
Nope, will you sign my lino pls?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:52, Reply)
sure thing

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:53, Reply)
Now will you sign my winky pls?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:04, Reply)
by all means, flop it out

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:14, Reply)
Going to ice hockey on saturday
Watching Newcastle act like a dumpster on fire against Huddersfield on Sunday. YAY SPORTS!
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:41, Reply)
Go "oooo!" at the mental's newly decorated spare room
Then probably get pissed
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:43, Reply)
Family stroll around the city tomorrow
Prog rock mini-festival on sunday if I score a discount ticket.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:43, Reply)
So far so good, looks like kid is ON for this evening
Tomorrow night I think we're going to see the excellent Main Source at the Jazz Cafe.

Strikey jizz
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:48, Reply)
That could be alright.
I'm seeing Mr Scruff tomorrow.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:12, Reply)
PISSter GUFF more like!

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:24, Reply)
Kiss the chuff, more like!

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:31, Reply)
Emoji Movie more like

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:40, Reply)
Shut up m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:48, Reply)
not in a million years

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:49, Reply)
FUCKING CUNT, more like

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:47, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:51, Reply)
dunno, and lets be honest nobody gives a fuck

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:52, Reply)
I do, a bit

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:53, Reply)
Sharing is caring
Didn't you learn anything from My Little Pony?
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:56, Reply)
Was that the episode they did about sex toys?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:14, Reply)
Record shopping and nude beatboxing

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:28, Reply)
Don't scandalize mine

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:38, Reply)
alright sugarbear

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:40, Reply)
love that record

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:43, Reply)
innit tho

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:51, Reply)
Cocktails in Northern Quarter tomorrow afternoon.
Bit of spliffage. Bit of cooking.
Walking the new pooch. The usual.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 12:53, Reply)
Oh lol, one of the jurors on Martin Shikreli's fraud trial said he couldn't be impartial because 'he disrespected the Wu Tang Clan'.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/aug/17/martin-shkreli-trial-jurors-wu-tang-clan
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:06, Reply)
The whole lot
Mentioned in the original Harpers article is amazing.

Here's the story behing the Wu Tang Clan -
Shkreli was revealed as the winner of an auction for the Wu-Tang Clan album Once Upon a Time in Shaolin after the single copy of the album was sold via Paddle8 on November 24, 2015, for US$2 million to what was reported to be a "private American collector". On December 9, 2015, Bloomberg Businessweek identified Shkreli as the purchaser. In October 2016, Shkreli claimed on his Twitter that he would release the album for free download if Donald Trump won the 2016 US presidential election and would destroy the album if Hillary Clinton won. He shared the intro and one track the day after Trump became the President-elect.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 13:27, Reply)
I've just been talking to a man about an upcoming boxing match conspiracy.
Apparently the Floyd vs Mayweather fight is a false flag catalyst for a race war, and I've even been shown an advert for actors in Las Vegas to be part of a crowd on the same weekend. Apparently this is proof.

Who is the craziest person you know? If you're McBeef, we know it's your ex, so maybe go with second craziest.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:44, Reply)
since the mocking-is-aggression bloke left my firm, I don't associate with many mentals these days
except you lot!!!11!1!1!
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:49, Reply)
Someone I went to school with
and knew fairly well as a yout. Disappeared for nearly a decade then resurfaced out of the blue, met up for a drink to catch up and found him to a be a hollowed out twitching shadow of the witty, talented and engaging person I remembered. Told me how he'd pulled some of his own teeth out because they were poisoning him, how Sony (the corporation) was going to marry him and his life story was going to be made into a film and he was going to bring down the government in the process.

I realised he'd been in and out of institutions for the time we'd not been in touch.

Now, I've had plenty of friends who have had mental health issues, but all have been aware of it and would rather be healthy. This is the first person I've known who thought he was the sanest person on the planet while clearly being completely delusional, probably a paranoid schizophrenic.

His tweets and facebook posts are tragic.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:49, Reply)
How sad

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:53, Reply)
sad!

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:57, Reply)
Wait....
this post is about you, isn't it. I knew it sounded familiar.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
i... didn't actually read it until just now
too many words, you see

pretty sure i've never been a 'witty, talented and engaging person', though
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:03, Reply)
Well that's what threw me too

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:03, Reply)
Awful
but fascinating to see how his mind is trying to protect him. Aggressively rejecting anything that contradicts his world view, his need to be important and superior, the glee and sense of triumph "you wait until the truth comes out" kind of stuff.

In previous years he would have thought he was Napoleon or something, it's horrific but grimly interesting the way the human mind can malfunction. Same fears of poisoning, conspiracy, the stuff you read about but is so shocking when you see it in someone you actually know.

I've had my moments of mania, brought on by excess and sleeplessness, but I've always had sanity to return to. Seeing it take over another person is terrifying.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
Yeah, that's bad
Seems like he might need to go and stay somewhere safe for a while. Is he getting much support, do you know?
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:02, Reply)
He would need loved ones to section him I guess,
He's not going to be able to have the wherewithal to check in himself.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:06, Reply)
They've tried
the problem is that being totally batshit insane doesn't mean you're not also very clever. He can be extremely conniving and turn on people who are trying to help him. It's just fucking horrific for anyone around him - I follow him on social media just to warn anyone who engages with him unawares because he'll turn on them, accuse them of all sorts of stuff, much of it criminal e.g. poisoning, child abuse, murder etc.

He does fit in pretty well on Twitter though, I have to say.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:15, Reply)
He won't tell me
he is very secretive. I know he's been in and out of institutions but the nature of his illness is such that he thinks it's all a conspiracy to stop him bringing down the CIA/MI5 etc. We're all spies etc.

His family do what they can but he keeps trying to get them arrested for abusing him.

I kind of keep in touch with mutual friends but there's not much we can do.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:07, Reply)
he should sign up for an account here

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:10, Reply)
and tell us all about the latest guitars he's bought
and what his parrot is doing
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:11, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:21, Reply)
This was supposed to be a fun thread to poke fun at silly people.
I didn't want to do feelings.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:59, Reply)
that was me m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)
lol
what's his twitter name? I could do with a giggle.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:49, Reply)
I don't actually know them
but theres some utter fucking nutjob who is openly having a breakdown on Twitter and has been sending me dms to help sort their life out. I tried to be sympathetic but their dms were fucking constant. Fuck all that, I've got my own shit going on. Apparently because I have a husband I have no idea of what problems real life throws at you. Fucking nutter.
Hello.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:50, Reply)
Yikes
He sounds slightly dangerous. Also, hello.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:54, Reply)
no need to drag our private discussions onto here, BS :(((((

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:55, Reply)
Alright you revolting pervert
/ac
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:55, Reply)
surely by having a husband like yours, it just adds a whole NEW bunch of problems?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:58, Reply)
Touché

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:03, Reply)
timehop reminded me of that photo of him punching me today

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:05, Reply)
I'd like to see a photo of you getting punched.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
you're one of the few people that could see it on facebook, but ok
i.imgur.com/nrpZT0b.png
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:27, Reply)
^no-sell

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:27, Reply)
I'm not going searching through your old Facebook photos like some sort of pervert.
You're selling that punch like a Bollywood b movie.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:28, Reply)
haha

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:29, Reply)
+again

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:33, Reply)
That'll be teh rubbish beer you're drinking

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:28, Reply)
8 years ago, i had even less money than i do now

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:35, Reply)
The best you can do to help them is screenshot all the mad stuff and post it here for us to read.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
Block.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:49, Reply)
i'm mad me, i just don't give a hoot

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:52, Reply)
^chicken oriental

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:54, Reply)

frinkiac.com/video/S01E12/L7puNoRznljGv2Q5uIf3ZVqIBEE=.gif
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
Madlad! ^^^

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
^radio rental

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:02, Reply)
^Ivan Lendl

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:11, Reply)
how many novelty ties do you own?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:12, Reply)
none, i'm cray

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:33, Reply)
dunno. a know a few people who believe in jesus and/or ghosts

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:57, Reply)
or JESUS GHOSTS

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:59, Reply)
the ghosts of christmas jesus

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
#infest

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:12, Reply)
I know some people who super believe in ghosts.
Tell stories about seeing the hanged nun at Godstow and all sorts of bollocks.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:02, Reply)
Me too
Their argument to me is always "you can't prove they DON'T exist".
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:03, Reply)
easy
show me the ghost of a horse
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:08, Reply)
Pervert

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:10, Reply)
you never see caveman ghosts, do you

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:13, Reply)
How many cavemen lived in spooky Victorian houses though?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
good point
I withdraw my remarks
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:23, Reply)
I hide in the toilets and cry

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:58, Reply)

hide wank
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)
because of the coming race war?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)

frinkiac.com/gif/S07E02/1104352/1106187/VEhJTksgQUJPVVQgSVQu
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:05, Reply)
Two Hats

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:59, Reply)
mods

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
^ see what I mean?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:04, Reply)
*does nothing*

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:04, Reply)
I'd pay good money to see 'The Floyd' vs Mayweather

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
I'd pay good money to see Keith Floyd vs Mayweather

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)
RIP

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:04, Reply)
I dunno, my credulous ex wasn't crazy but she sure believed in some ridiculous bullshit.
She paid to attend a seminar on how to communicate with elementals and gave this complete charlatan Ä300 to spend a weekend listening to him spout the most outrageous tripe about embracing your inner slut; when she got home and told me about what he'd said, I got properly angry with her thinking about how that money could have been better spent. She also believes in elves and fairies and thinks that some people were put on this Earth in order to be sacrificed, the corollary of which is that the victims of the Holocaust were asking for it.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:05, Reply)


(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:06, Reply)
Well, that ended in a place I wasn't expecting

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:07, Reply)
Tell me about it.
She casually mentioned it in bed one night; I was so pissed off at the implications that I almost got dressed and went home.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:10, Reply)
almost?!

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:29, Reply)
Yeah, I reckoned that flouncing wasn't going to make her change her opinion.
I did have a right go at her about it though. She said that her sister and her sister's boyfriend got incredibly riled up every time she talked about it...no shit, Sherlock.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:32, Reply)
It's hard to escape a sex swing without help
Y'know
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:40, Reply)
Oh, I know, m8.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:00, Reply)
Poland?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:12, Reply)
what a fucking twat

You, I mean
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:12, Reply)
luv u 4eva bbz xxx

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:15, Reply)
A now-dead methadone client.
One time she asked me if I knew a good lawyer. She explained that she needed one because her dad, who she said was black, had been getting her pregnant and then swapping out her womb with her sister's (pointing to a slight bulge in her belly to demonstrate) in order to try to have white children; also that the lawyer had to be really good, because her dad was Axl Rose. I'm pretty sure she believed every word as she was saying it.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:06, Reply)
Hugs not drugs

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:08, Reply)
Oh yeah, that reminds me.
About a month ago I got a call at work from a woman who wanted a quote for a telephone interpreter because she needed to call the CIA and tell them about a client of hers, who was a spy plotting to bring down the government. OK, love.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:09, Reply)
I hope you told her that the CIA were already monitoring all her phone calls.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:11, Reply)
Damn, I missed a trick there.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:12, Reply)
Pretty much every lady who has ever encountered my shrivelled winky
think I ejaculate mad cow disease. And shit, obv.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:12, Reply)
I'm not allowed to donate blood because of mad cow disease

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:14, Reply)
^scared of needles

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:15, Reply)
that too

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:24, Reply)
Likewise.
Mad cow disease, tattoos, having had male sexual partners...I think the only box I don't tick on their 'exclude' list is 'intravenous drug user'.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:18, Reply)
Mike Lindup

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:14, Reply)
delete this please

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:17, Reply)
^delete THIS please

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:18, Reply)
^delete this *points at crotch*

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:20, Reply)

media.tenor.com/images/c7e66a3efb9c5a53e988bca97df8f2d4/tenor.gif
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
tremendous!

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:35, Reply)
YOU TAKE THAT BACK

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:25, Reply)
Give him some Python, m8, you show him.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:27, Reply)
GS

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:40, Reply)
yet another gary barlow-inspired McBeef post
you've got to get over that band m8, the reunion's over.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:49, Reply)
I'll 'never forget' 'the That', m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:53, Reply)
My mother, but that is years of reading the Daily Mail
That shit has rotted her brain.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:17, Reply)
also, the artist formerly known as Catnipppp off of b3ta:
Looks like he's gone off Donald Trump, which is a shame because he was an early adopter.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:21, Reply)
Wow, who knew that white supremacist and Nazi sympathiser Donald Trump was secretly Jewish?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:23, Reply)
does he still do pics for infowars?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:23, Reply)
Probably.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:27, Reply)
I'm not clicking that, might be facebook and shit

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:24, Reply)
It's amazing.
Honestly. I've signed up.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:29, Reply)
I bet you have

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:30, Reply)
Here's a non-FB link, if you want.
I never realised how many female celebrities were actually "male to female tranny freaks".
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:39, Reply)
ok
Not sure the phrase "fucking stupid fucking cunt" really explains this, but it's the first one that comes to mind
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:42, Reply)
The whole thing screams bona fide certifiable insanity to me.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:54, Reply)

110% truth, except for the Israhell star on Trump. Donald Trump is 100% against the Federal Reserve which he will abolish, confiscate all assets of the Rothschild Mafia. That will cut off the head of the snake.

Trump will prosecute false flags like 9/11, Oklahoma City, Sandy Hook and many more. Fast and Furious and illegal wars. We will need to have Nuremburg style trials and hang at least 1000 treasonous zionist scumbags and their useful idiots.

Trump is for real and teaming up with Russia and Putin we can bring real world peace for centuries to come or possibly eternity. War is primitive, cruel, disgusting and no good for anything, except for the zionistís plan to exterminate 98% of all mankind, enslave survivors in a one world communist jew dictatorship.

Trump will be our last chance to save America and all mankind. We cannot allow anything other than a historical massive landslide election victory. Otherwise they will rig the voting and steal the election to install another zionist puppet. JFK didnít prosecute the zionist cockroaches and had little security. Trump is wise to their game and will not allow them a chance to kill him. A military strike would be their only chance and that will not be allowed by Americans.

If they dare to murder Trump, we must take them out immediately by a ruthless and massive 2nd amendment civilian militia force with US military patriots as our backup.

WE WILL TAKE AMERICA BACK AND HOPEFULLY IT WILL BE PEACEFUL BUT WE ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT ALLOW ANOTHER FALSE FLAG, RIGGED ELECTIONS OR JFK/RFK STYLE ASSASSINATIONS OF OUR CANDIDATES/PRESIDENTS.

ANYBODY WITH AN IQ OVER 80 SHOULD SEE THE ZIONIST JEWS ARE BEHIND 99.99% OF ALL EVIL IN THIS WORLD. WITHOUT THEM WE COULD HAVE LASTING WORLD PEACE. CONTINUED ZIONIST CONTROL WILL ONLY CONTINUE THE ENDLESS WAR, THIRD WORLD INVASION, GENOCIDE OF WHITE EUROPEANS AND OTHER HUMANS WHO POSSESS INTELLIGENCE.

THE JEWS ONLY WANT STUPID THIRD WORLD PRIMATES AS SLAVES, AS THEY HAVE CENTURIES OF SLAVERY ALREADY PROGRAMMED INTO THEIR DNA. WHERE AS INTELLIGENT PEOPLE WILL REVOLT AND KILL THE ZIONIST TO GAIN FREEDOM AND JUSTICE.

THIS IS REAL. IT IS HAPPENING NOW. IT WILL BE STOPPED BY US!
SO WAKE THE FCK UP. SNAP OUT OF IT NOW!
LOCK AND LOAD BOYS AND GIRLS, IT IS TIME FOR TYRANT HUNTING.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:05, Reply)
Wow
Imagine actually believing all of this. Imagine being this angry all the time.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:07, Reply)
my peanus gets angry all the time

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:12, Reply)
I know, I've seen it!

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:14, Reply)
it got so angry with me it spat at me

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:18, Reply)
This is exactly the sort of person
who used to have a Geocities page featuring a 10,000-word rant on a white background with no paragraph breaks and dotted with pictures of the Eye of Prominence, masonic squares and compasses, 'grey' aliens and Fort Knox.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:15, Reply)
BELIEVE

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:18, Reply)
you appear to know too much about me which leads me to suspect you are working for THEM

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:19, Reply)
Fuck
FUCK
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:25, Reply)
wow that's really made me think

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:00, Reply)
I don't know any mental people
Funnily enough I was only talking about this the other day over breakfast, with Jimi Hendrix.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:24, Reply)
haha

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:24, Reply)
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THE MENTAL ONE IS!!! THAT MEANS IT'S PROBABLY YOU!!!
#deep
#philosphy
#livelaughlove
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:27, Reply)
Live fast...too bloody fast sometimes!

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:28, Reply)
Don't watch the clock,
Do what it does and keep going.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:32, Reply)

l
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:38, Reply)

going circling the same central point in an inexorable spiral of abstraction, futilely ticking off each second as a testament to the pointlessness of your own existence.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:46, Reply)
+ and so say all of us! and so say all of us!

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:47, Reply)
The river doesn't cut through rock because of its power, but because of it's persistence

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:51, Reply)
yeah, bloody-mindedly hammering away at something
is a better approach than circling the obstacle and getting on towards your goal with the least resistance, like most fucking rivers do.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:56, Reply)
Good, better, best. Never let it rest. 'Til your good is better and your better is best.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:00, Reply)
because of it is persistence are we led it off the road?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:59, Reply)
Not my words, the words of BrainyQuote.com

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:01, Reply)
ZanyScrote.com, more like.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:05, Reply)
Hang on
He was with me helping to scatter the ashes of Francis Rossi?!?!?
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:44, Reply)

Francis Martini
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 11:08, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:15, Reply)
Mornang

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:28, Reply)
I never forget a face
but in your case I'm prepared to make an exception
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:33, Reply)
'ning

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:30, Reply)
I'm on a whisky diet
I've lost 3 days already
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:34, Reply)
Morning
Left my phone on all night and the battery is just about dead
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:53, Reply)
Start the day with a smile
and get it over with.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:57, Reply)
Morning guy's
I wonder if I'll be allowed to see my kid tonight
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:56, Reply)
Your ex sent her photograph to the Lonely Hearts club
They sent it back stating they weren't that lonely.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:58, Reply)
well I don't think you should be given the massive amount of inconvenience you cause to that girl's poor mother

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:23, Reply)
I ruined her evening plans last week by turning up at 6:20pm
I should be b& 4 lyf
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:08, Reply)
come on m8 you know London is dead after 7pm

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:09, Reply)
I was bang out of order, no question

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:15, Reply)

b w
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:43, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:44, Reply)
Alright.
Some wanker has put a side car on a transalp. And won't sell them separately. Might go down there to have a look and push it over.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:05, Reply)
that was me, m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:10, Reply)
Take the side car off. Get in it. And roll yourself off a pier.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:15, Reply)
I'm more of a marina guy

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:17, Reply)

ri a u a
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:20, Reply)
that too

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:21, Reply)
Chopsticks are the reason the Chinese never invented custard

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:23, Reply)
7 ways to love

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:10, Reply)
I had no idea that tune was by St Etienne

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)
Cola Boy wasn't it?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:43, Reply)
If you want to know what God thinks of money
look at all the people he gave it to
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:23, Reply)
bestimmt mein oberstmorgenführer

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:11, Reply)
google translate is shit

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:12, Reply)
Every time a friend success
I die a little
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:23, Reply)
What up, he who roams the plains of bison grass?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:11, Reply)
I have kleptomania
When it gets too bad, I take something for it
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:24, Reply)
Night in a hotel, and an "all you can eat" breakfast, so this counts as being on holiday.
Morning.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:17, Reply)
wife kicked you out?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:18, Reply)
make sure to spread the cornflakes over the counter and leave toast crumbs everywhere

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)
Never trust a man with short legs
His brain's too near his bottom
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:24, Reply)
That makes no sense.
What if he had a regular length body?
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:30, Reply)
take it up with Noel Coward m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:35, Reply)
I I just took a ride in a Grrrmachine and I'm still feeling mean

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)
gay

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:25, Reply)
Don't sweat the petty things
and don't pet the sweaty things
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:25, Reply)
Never hurry, never worry,
never fill your hat with curry.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:29, Reply)
wiser words were never spoken

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:30, Reply)
although if you are going to fill a hat with chilli
it's best to use a beanie
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:31, Reply)
and after you've eaten
put on your fed-ora
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:31, Reply)
You could have enough chilli to fill a bowl-er.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:33, Reply)
I still can't believe they didn't put Hawkwind on the back of the new ten pound note

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:26, Reply)
you don't really need any further proof that the jews are running everything for their own interests

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:31, Reply)
it's staring us all in the face

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:41, Reply)
30 years since that slag Michael Ryan went a bit spaz
It still freaks my nut out to this day.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:26, Reply)
I do appreciate a man who uses an M1 carbine

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:29, Reply)
I wonder if illiterate people get the full benefit from alphabet soup

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:30, Reply)
you have to be a muslim to do that nowadays, political correctness gone mad

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:34, Reply)
member the good old days, when all our terror attacks and murders were by white non muslims, member

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:54, Reply)
member when it was catholics planting nailbombs in high streets? good old days

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:30, Reply)
Gosh, it rained heavily last night, but now it's a sunny
MORNING
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:50, Reply)
Warn is God's way of teaching Americans geography

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:53, Reply)
God know's her limits
and doesn't interfere with the ignorance of 'mericans.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:54, Reply)
and warn ever changes

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:57, Reply)
Warn! what is it good for
Abolutelyn othing!
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:01, Reply)
PayPal's steam- and hamster-driven servers are on the fritz again.
Tried to wire some money out last night and was told that they needed proof of my identity, again, despite having received it on 15 July. So I sent off a scan of my passport again. Got an e-mail from them this morning saying they needed proof of address. Logged into my account, was able to wire money, everything was fine. k.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:59, Reply)
The emails weren't actually from PayPal, hth

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:04, Reply)
Luckily I sent nothing via e-mail, and I did get the original notification from my online PayPal account space.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:08, Reply)
You've just allowed a nigerian to use your passport to get into the EU
I hope you're satisfied
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:06, Reply)
Come on, those FIFTY MILLION EUROPEAN POUNDS were just burning a hole in his pocket.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:08, Reply)
Just pay your taxes you shifty little shit

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:14, Reply)
lol
I'm in a mood to move to London and scrounge your benefits by claiming asylum as a transsexual Muslim single mother. Take that, house prices.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:18, Reply)

benefits by claiming asylum as a transsexual Muslim single mother.
, house prices
discography
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:21, Reply)
Take That, eh? What was all that about anyway?

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:30, Reply)
Regretting taking my cheap tent.
Top pole split as I was putting it up.

Wind caught it and I trod on one of the cleats running after it.

Woke up to spray coming through the zip.

One less thing to cart home I guess.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:24, Reply)
Trying is the first step towards failure m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:28, Reply)
I've stopped it wobbling in the wind by lashing the top poles together with a guy rope.
For some reason I forgot my usual roll of tape and tie wraps for emergency tent repair.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:37, Reply)
Waking up to spray coming through the zip is a symptom of eight beers and tight jeans.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:32, Reply)
Lightweight

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:38, Reply)
morning
cunting tab key doesn't work on this stupid fucking work mac
might kill myself
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:44, Reply)
bit radical m8

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:46, Reply)
"work mac" always feels like an oxymoron to me

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:47, Reply)
I reckon most of the advantages are due to them not integrating with the plethora of 'enterprise' software.
Sharepoint, office Live, symantec, mcafee et al.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:20, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:11, Reply)
Just remembered my password.
Fuck off.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:39, Reply)
Dunno who you are, soz

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:44, Reply)
Better than Dozer.
Is that sufficient?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, Reply)
Not sure you alt-doz are better than the ban-doz to be honest , certainly better than them is objective, but what do I know eh

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:11, Reply)
Riddick just starting on film 4, never made a bad film eva

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:05, Reply)
Alright jeff

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:51, Reply)
Aye.
You? If you are the real
Dozer.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, Reply)
Yeah it's me you Savile wanker

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:19, Reply)
Well done

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, Reply)
Thanks. I like online validation.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, Reply)
Hi

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:59, Reply)
I might have a small rum.
What do you think?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:00, Reply)
Why small?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:06, Reply)
Because I only have pint glasses
And any measure deemed large in such a drinking vessel might be deemed excessive.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:09, Reply)
Drink it by the swallow then

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:12, Reply)
Finish the bottle, it's the only solution
it'll only go flat if you open it and leave it
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:31, Reply)
That's why people buy it in tins now

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:37, Reply)
Fuck a dog

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:46, Reply)
He might fuck a small horse

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 22:00, Reply)
Just done my third shit. Arse hurts.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 22:03, Reply)
What, ever?
That's bloody good going
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 22:08, Reply)
Today.
If I go more than about a day without a barry I get a bit perturbed.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 22:23, Reply)
1 or 5?
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=barry
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 22:38, Reply)
Flebthread

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:27, Reply)
i read that as flatbread at first
now i know it's flebthread i don't think i now how to contribute

alt - sympathy reply
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:15, Reply)
Is that anything like phlebotomy?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:31, Reply)

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