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That last thread killed off the forum
What else needs to be culled?
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:05, Reply)
the monarchy
turns out they don't even want to do it
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:07, Reply)
easy enough to say for 'arry, as he probably will never see the throne
which will make his shopping a lot easier
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:08, Reply)
Having a bloodline to the job is probably cheaper than elections every 5 years
and you can ensure someone gets the right training to be head of state, rather than letting a demented bankrupt property tycoon get the job by manipating facebook posts.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:08, Reply)
not sure how much training it takes tbh

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:15, Reply)
set up a monarchy and find out m8

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:21, Reply)
That Sea land fella did alright

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:27, Reply)
I reckon he was bitter and sulking when he said that.
So I'm never going to get a go? FINE, I never wanted to do it anyway, and neither does anyone else. SO THERE.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:18, Reply)
why would he be bitter?
he gets to live the high life with no expectation of duty
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:20, Reply)
Just as long as he doesn't take drugs or dress like a Nazi.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 13:01, Reply)
I reckon it's going to William next anyway
He was there with her for all the visits to Grenfell, Manchester etc.

Charles looked glum as fuck yesterday to be sat next to her for an hour or so.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:24, Reply)
Don't be a fucking nob jason.
/ac
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:27, Reply)
earthquake warnings
A warning about a massive earthquake off the coast of California has been sent 92 years late.

A computer error caused the US Geological Survey (USGS) to issue the false alarm about the magnitude 6.8 quake.

The quake actually took place in 1925 when it laid waste to the city of Santa Barbara and caused 13 deaths.

In a statement, the USGS said its computers had "misinterpreted" data causing the alarm to be wrongly issued.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:07, Reply)
if only they'd taken Y2K seriously

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:09, Reply)
gyppoes

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:11, Reply)
is that a crossover between a gypsie and a hippo?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:13, Reply)
Alright, Adolf.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:13, Reply)
*nods*
alright mate
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:30, Reply)
travellers in general, or proper pikeys?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:15, Reply)
We had some French travelers set up camp near the skatepark.
They were alright, much tidier than the usual sort.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:16, Reply)
It's them irish pisshead ones who start all the bother.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:25, Reply)
There's a settlement up the road from where I live.
Generally, you wouldn't know it (apart from the higher than average number of kids with terrible haircuts and garish clothes), but if any of them get married, there'll be an inevitable police presence at their chosen pub.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:27, Reply)
So you mean the tie-dye types that got decked in beanfield?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:29, Reply)
See below, there are almost none left

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:31, Reply)
Nah, proper pikey types.
Garish clothes, in so much as the girls still think neons are acceptable colours, and the boys have rat tail hair.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:44, Reply)
Romany gyppoes
Yer new age travellers are fine - and pretty much extinct these day anyway
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:30, Reply)
There's still a few that turn up at stone henge on the solstice aren't there?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:33, Reply)
Most live indoors these days
Glad I got to experience that world whilst it existed, the annual free festival season and the convoy and all that - all gone. Winchester used to be surrounded by sites with all manner of army lorries, coaches and so on. The Spiral Tribe free rave scene ruined the whole thing - the fucking tossers. People got away with free festivals for decades - but Castlemorton was the end of it all. Stupid fucking pricks.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:36, Reply)
I know a few that still live on house boats.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:40, Reply)
When I was a teenager I worked at a narrowboat yard.
One of the blokes there lived on a narrowboat, he was a bit of a prick. So were the other people that lived on them.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:42, Reply)
I never said they weren't pricks m8

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:43, Reply)
deck him m8

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:43, Reply)
He doesn't know who he's messing with

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:44, Reply)
seems like he's about to find out

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:45, Reply)
Haha, "deck" like on a boat!

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:48, Reply)
Hahahahaha, brilliant

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:49, Reply)
There's a site up in Norfolk where my brother knows some folks
One of them owns the land so they just carry on as if the 80s never ended.

They have decent sanitation and power so it's a bit of a cheat but to look at, he says, it's like the good old days: mangy dogs and dirty kids everywhere and so on.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:43, Reply)
The ones near me have a permanent site.
The main caravan is grandiose. They run a caravan sales/rental business, so I assume they're showing off their wares.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:48, Reply)
Spiral tribe?
Is there reading to be done about the history of this? I was going to free parties when I was 16, and there were some big sound systems still. That's 14 years ago.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:42, Reply)
I will try to find something for you
Worst case I'll tell you all about it next time I see you
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:44, Reply)
I'm busy then.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:48, Reply)

djmag.com/content/free-party-politics-castle-morton
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:46, Reply)
Free parties are still deffo a thing.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:46, Reply)
of course they are
My point is that their emergence ended the free festival scene which had been going since the early 70s - and the travelling culture which facilitated it. All because some pricks failed to see that 5 days of round the clock outdoor rave sound systems would be a step too far. I hate them for that.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:51, Reply)
Yeah, it does seem a shame.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:53, Reply)
I loved free festivals, and I loved raves.
The combination of the two was a shit idea.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:55, Reply)
Everyone round to Gormo's!

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:52, Reply)
here you go
freepartypeople.wordpress.com/category/castlemorton/

Only cos I wanted to know what McBeef was getting all nostalgic about, the weeping old glamper.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:55, Reply)
it was a disaster
THIS was more like it:

www.ukrockfestivals.com/Treworgey-89-dshort-gallery.htm
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:58, Reply)
oh did you go to the treworgey tree festival?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 13:05, Reply)
The electorate.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:14, Reply)
The ruling class.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:15, Reply)
monster munch

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:16, Reply)
Decimation is the only language he understands.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:17, Reply)

the only language he understands what you need if you want to be a record breaker
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:22, Reply)
I saw Roy Castle at Butlins.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:24, Reply)
spamishfly

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:17, Reply)
White people.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:18, Reply)
Parents who give their kids mullet hairstyles.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:19, Reply)
The elderly.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:20, Reply)
Performance poets.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:20, Reply)
Landlords.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:20, Reply)
People who make lists.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:21, Reply)
All expats

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:26, Reply)
I loathe people who refer to themselves as expats
You're a fucking immigrant, an economic migrant, you're no better than those dickheads in the Calais Jungle.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:32, Reply)
people coming back from 15 years living in Spain moaning about immigrants is my favourite

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:44, Reply)
Exorcists by the sound of it.
www.globaltimes.cn/content/804623.shtml
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:27, Reply)
antecedent events

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:28, Reply)
I learned you can add emergency details on your mobile that can be viewed even when locked , what a world

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:43, Reply)
Welcome to the future Grandad

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:45, Reply)
I will add stuff to my kids phones

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:46, Reply)
Disgusting

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:49, Reply)
looks like the new style pokemon gyms are live

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:53, Reply)
Still says under construction for me

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:59, Reply)
my penus and/or helmit

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:52, Reply)
Nyeaahhh, ratfans!

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:23, Reply)
#imjustsayin

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:23, Reply)
why's your queen wearing a #brxt hat, Rich?
you know things, c'mon, tell us
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:01, Reply)
She's irl trolling the government is why

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:10, Reply)
fanks u r so smaat

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:11, Reply)
D'arcy De-Fartsy, more like

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:27, Reply)
Why hasn't my fucking cheque cleared?
I banked the cunt 7 days ago.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:29, Reply)
5 to 7 working days mate.
And it's gotta be in before midday for the day you deposited it to count.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:32, Reply)
ffs

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:35, Reply)

ffs TSB
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:01, Reply)
Griffin Saver 4 lyf

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:28, Reply)
because the 20th century ended 17 years ago and the bank computer laughs at your stupid paper IOU
get with the times, gramps.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:34, Reply)
It's my mother you need to be having this conversation with m8

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:43, Reply)
Loads of people have lost cash because hackers have compromised mail accounts to solicitors.
So when they wire over their mortgage deposit they follow up with a spoofed mail saying 'oops, no sorry, it's this account'. And run off with the lot.

I suppose you could just confirm the numbers with the solicitor over the phone before sending them your life savings though.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:44, Reply)
16 years

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:04, Reply)
fat cans, more like
y'alright rich? what sort of mad london thing are you doing this weekend?
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:31, Reply)
hi m8
I've got my kid all weekend to make up for last week's travesty, I'm super excited about this.

Going here for fathers' day lunch on Sat:

thepigandbutcher.co.uk/

It's where we had our wedding lunch, the grub is outstanding. After that I will take her shopping for a new game or some sneakers or whatever she wants to celebrate my windfall, then chill at home for the night.

Sunday, no idea. Mebbe go to a museum or summat. I've still not been to the Hendrix flat exhibit in Mayfair but that's not much fun for a kid really, is it
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:35, Reply)
That exibit does look interesting.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:45, Reply)
That restaurant looks quality.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:49, Reply)
it's absolutely superb

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:07, Reply)
thanks rich, now i'm hungry for foood
sounds good though. carry on.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:19, Reply)
You can't be married to your own kid, Richard.
Not legally, anyway.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:23, Reply)
My dad lives in Virginia m8
Different rules
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:28, Reply)
*dueling banjos*

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:30, Reply)
This
Hey what's happening baby
I'm the one who needs no introduction
Cuz I'm the world class doctor
The master of seduction
I can heal all your ills
And give you extreme delight
But only if you allow me
To turn off the lights
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:33, Reply)
is this a joke about fucking ugly girls?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:35, Reply)
I dunno

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:48, Reply)
it's hard to tell
since the entire genre is a joke
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:54, Reply)
Yeah, because Corpse Paint is super cool.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:02, Reply)

super cool really difficult to get out of the carpet
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:03, Reply)
When I burn down your church a-yo I flame correct (woo-hah etc)
I got that fresh corpse look a-like I broke my neck (woo-hah etc)
We got that lo-fi sound on your old tape deck (woo-hah etc)
Seven minutes of blast beats, don't ever disrespeck (woo-hah etc)
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:10, Reply)
Maybe Dre has body confidence issues,
and doesn't want his partner to see him naked?
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:06, Reply)
I see ugly girls everywhere I go
Everywhere I go
Everywhere I go
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:47, Reply)
Sounds a bit rapey.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:43, Reply)
Not.my words,
But the words of Dr. Dre
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:44, Reply)
Dr. Drepist, more like

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:48, Reply)
THICTIABT?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:23, Reply)
Owww
www.foreignjournal.com/nude-sunbather-injured-townsville-eagle-mistakes-testicles-turtle-eggs/
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:53, Reply)
so that's what happens when birds flock to the sight of your junk

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:55, Reply)
Why didn't the Powerpuff Girls protect him?
Also, did he pop his nads out of his scrotum, to better feel the sun on them, or something?

Edit: "sunscreen and shaven testicles". Right.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:02, Reply)
"he has completely lost one testicle which imploded under the pressure of the eagle's beak"
Bruh...
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:02, Reply)
first class

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:24, Reply)
it seems cream dispensers are having a bad time in the press right now
www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-40362094
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:35, Reply)
As if anyone uses those things to make whipped cream

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:49, Reply)
She hardly looks the sort to be in to laughing gas.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:55, Reply)
What's wrong with using a whisk?
I see a lot of those discarded canisters around town, and I fear that we've bred a limp-wristed generation.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:55, Reply)
What's wrong with a bit of anchor in a can?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:57, Reply)
Nothing.
But "squirty cream" is nothing like whipped cream.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:05, Reply)
Pink bucket m8

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:54, Reply)
The fuck you jus call me bish?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:03, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8089949
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:25, Reply)
"Bouquet"

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:28, Reply)
my new slide is the right size, whew, eh guy's?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:42, Reply)
now all I need is the actual guitar I ordered to use it on
Estimated delivery next weds :(
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:43, Reply)
#NoOneCaresM8

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:43, Reply)
I care, love
I care
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:44, Reply)
lies

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:47, Reply)
whew indeed

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:46, Reply)
does it come with a rush mat so you don't get friction burns on your bum?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 11:52, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8089198
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 12:06, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 6:49, Reply)
Alright mate.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 6:54, Reply)
yer its all good here
first decent night's kip in ages
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 7:04, Reply)
How do, chaps

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 7:15, Reply)
alright mupps

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 7:18, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 7:52, Reply)
well met, mcBeef

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 7:53, Reply)
I was talking to a chap last night who is a copper
He's on 6 week trauma leave because he was driving (off duty) over Westminster Bridge when that attack happened. He was about 7 cars behind the van wot dun it - couldn't really see what was going on at first and he thought someone threw a wellington boot from the upstairs window of a bus going the other way. Turns out it was someone's leg.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:24, Reply)
6 weeks skiving, no wonder this country is fucked

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:26, Reply)
to be fair to the man, he said it was compulsory otherwise he would have been at work as usual
Told me some other really gruesome stuff about holding some dude's artery together but him dying in his arms. Not sure if this was the owner of the flying leg or someone else.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:31, Reply)
That sounds stupid if he wants to go to work , health and safety gone mad

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:33, Reply)
tube drivers get the same if someone tops themselves, I believe
Couple of months off, then back to work ready for the next strike over pay sorry I mean safety
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:46, Reply)
No company I've ever worked for would have given me paid time off

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:51, Reply)
14 years on my CV, still never had a paid day off

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:52, Reply)
A woman my wife works with makes sure she takes her 10 paid sick days a year
because "if you don't use them, you lose them"
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:55, Reply)
So would I

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:57, Reply)
We get 30 at work.
And 33 days holiday. Hardly anyone ever here.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:25, Reply)
Your a subby tho ain't you

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:55, Reply)
not by choice
No language school ever offered proper contracts, then I had to go self-employed to steal a major client, and the new job employs 1000 people in Poland but only a third are real employees. Rest of us are subs just because turnover in IT is pretty quick.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:00, Reply)
The rate you got over here being a subby used to make it worth doing, now the only way you cover holiday and sick is not because of the rate but tax avoidance, all gone to shit

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:02, Reply)
Yer, I've hit the point where I'm scratching my head over things to buy
just so I can deduct it off my tax. The other benefit is overtime; still standard hourly rate but I can bill over 40 hours a week, which the full-timers can't.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:06, Reply)
I'd rather not work that many hours

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:16, Reply)
my mate works 12 hours a week for £70,000 pa
that's what I'm aiming for
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:19, Reply)
my ex's ex is fucking minted and told me last night he works about 4h a day

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:20, Reply)
drugs I bet

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:23, Reply)
Property

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:54, Reply)
That sounds alright.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:20, Reply)
What does he do?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:29, Reply)
foreign secretary

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:33, Reply)
Send the bugger back #brexit

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:34, Reply)
I don't
I'm split over four projects so I tell each one I'm busy with the others.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:39, Reply)
I do this, it's well good.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:25, Reply)
We should be able to narrow this down, 5 dead, one a copper stabbed, one in the river, so that leaves 3, one of which was a women, so that leaves the american fella and the old window cleaner

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:39, Reply)
This is getting like Cluedo.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:39, Reply)
It was the American fella, old boy died in hospital

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:40, Reply)
why couldn't it have been one of the 5 dead?
pretty sure losing a leg can kill you
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:41, Reply)
Narrow down who died on him, not who lost a leg, I'm not Sherlock

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:43, Reply)
soz, I skipped a post

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:44, Reply)
I think there's a bit in All Quiet on the Western Front
where they walk into an abandoned village in Belgium somewhere and see a tree with a leg hanging from the branches.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:48, Reply)
An unmarked van was driving past transporting body parts for a private hospital, the attendant decided to chuck a spare leg in there while no-one was looking

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:59, Reply)
The things coppers see does mess with their heads
my stepmum was off sick for 18 months before finally retiring.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:27, Reply)
When my sister joined up she texted me, excited to have seen her first dead body

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:32, Reply)
Should of gone to a bingo hall for a few weeks, old girls cark it there all the time

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:48, Reply)
my step-mum brought me gruesome photos (she was a SOCO) when she first met my dad
to ingratiate herself with her new teen stepsons. It worked.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:49, Reply)
She was a refreshing Southern Comfort?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:06, Reply)
His dad is Dr pepper

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:07, Reply)
I wouldn't mind having his dad with a nice whisky

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:31, Reply)
Alright, squire.
Blagged the day 'off' today, so I can 'work' from home.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:08, Reply)
I do that every day

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:10, Reply)
heigh-ho

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:36, Reply)
bit early for christmas songs mayte

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:52, Reply)
only 186 days to go!!!

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:03, Reply)
in b4 two hats

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:42, Reply)
*finger guns*

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:46, Reply)
a sensible approach to any sandwich shop

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:53, Reply)
I'm far too tight to pay other people to make sandwiches for me

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:02, Reply)

i.giphy.com/l3UcBlonRH3ImaZ0Y.gif
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:20, Reply)

68.media.tumblr.com/2cd0bf43075db61162bc62aba558915f/tumblr_ogunenXJXU1sbssddo1_500.gif
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:39, Reply)

media.giphy.com/media/zwaEdkONNfEGY/giphy.gif
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:17, Reply)
Gay

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:49, Reply)
Bald

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:50, Reply)
Bitter

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:53, Reply)
It's like someone's removed 2 out of 3 words in a joke about a man going into a pub

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:04, Reply)
^ The new /talk motto

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:05, Reply)
Morning

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 8:56, Reply)
is it though? really? when you get right down to it?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:01, Reply)
Yes

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:05, Reply)
Oh.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:07, Reply)
Looking forward to maybe getting a decent night's sleep, tonight.
Am facing the prospect of having no children, on Saturday, and I'm at a loss as to what to do with myself.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:17, Reply)
Butcher a working girl in the bathtub, or go down the pub, whichever takes your fancy

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:21, Reply)
An ORGANISED pshychopath could do both
just sayin'
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:26, Reply)
I'm looking after the kid on Friday night
I've better get a fucking lie in on Saturday
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:41, Reply)
morning
might wait for the next thread as i can't be bothered reading all of this
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:41, Reply)
but what if some of it needs moderating?

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:47, Reply)
someone will snitch

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:51, Reply)
snitches get stitches

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:53, Reply)
be that as it may

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:01, Reply)
you still get your own response:
alright boss, chilli sos?
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:56, Reply)
nah, i had a bacon roll so it was brahn soss

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:21, Reply)
Might never come.

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:58, Reply)
you poor bastard

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:59, Reply)
Morning.
Should I go to my poker evening tonight? It's a bit of a trek, I'd probably turn up late anyway 'cos I'm on call and the baby has a fever so wife thinks I should be at home.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 9:57, Reply)
Better stay at home then.
Poker nights are for MEN.
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:03, Reply)
You should go home and support your wife m8

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:06, Reply)
you should stay at home
because the other blokes won't want to spend their free evening with a dithering wet blanket like you
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:10, Reply)
You should cut off your knob and ram it up your arse

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:12, Reply)
too late, he's already bred

(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 10:27, Reply)
just got back from the skate park
AMA
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:17, Reply)
What's the capital of Uzbekistan?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:18, Reply)
U!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:25, Reply)
Curses

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:26, Reply)
can't fool me. i went to the school of hard knocks
goooooooo KNOCKERS!!!
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:29, Reply)
Are you any good or did you just flounder

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:20, Reply)
i was never any good 10 years ago tbh
i can still get around and that. no tricks or anything besides a few tentative manuals
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:27, Reply)

manua ee
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:41, Reply)
The skate park in the town where I grew up is a converted army barracks.
So...there you have it, I suppose.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:29, Reply)
sounds like a tony hawk's level

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:58, Reply)
How was your 13th birthday party then?
Was there party bags?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:37, Reply)
'Were' there party bags, you oaf

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:59, Reply)
So what's the fucking answer?
Was there party bags?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 21:49, Reply)
sorry, there weren't enough spare for you to have one

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 22:00, Reply)
It's ok.
You probably had shit things in them. Like those fizzy UFO things and a wank piece of cake you had ejacualted in the mix for.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 22:36, Reply)
yeah, probably

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 22:37, Reply)
Yeah.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 22:59, Reply)
Well it's been emotional.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 23:22, Reply)
I met Rodney Mullen last summer.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:56, Reply)
that's actually pretty cool

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 21:00, Reply)
He was super cool.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 21:54, Reply)
As someone who has fallen off several stationary skateboards
Can you give me any tips?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 21:18, Reply)
practice on grass
they don't roll away as easily so you can practice balance
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 21:21, Reply)
Ive just gotten back from seeing a documentary about Gertrude Bell.
It was less interesting than I'd hoped. On the plus side they're doing a chase film season soon.

i.imgur.com/K2DDQed.png
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 22:49, Reply)

He was a boy
She was a girl
Can I make it any more obvious?
(, Thu 22 Jun 2017, 7:58, Reply)
Ffs ok, looks like it's down to me to start yet another one
I'm off out for beers with my ex's ex tonight, I always do this whenever they've temporarily fallen out. It's great, I get to find out all sorts of stuff which otherwise I'd never know. It's a shame I can't call her out on any of it, otherwise I'd reveal my source and wouldn't get any more dirt.

By why are YOU a sneaky little shit?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:29, Reply)
Apparently on his 40th birthday he thought she had arranged a surprise party for him
Turned out that no, all she'd done is spend his own money on 7 grams of coke and took him round the corner for a drink. Which he also paid for.

lol
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:31, Reply)
Apparently one Christmas she was being such a cunt at her sister's that she was asked to leave and had to stay in a hotel
lol
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:31, Reply)
If we're doing family Christmas stories,
My cousin decided that Christmas dinner was the right time to tell me Aunt that she'd got back in touch with her abusive father. There was all sorts of ruckus, including a good old fashioned punching a whole in the door and trying to force Brett (different cousin) out of a window.
It was the first Christmas I had taken ladypig to visit that side of the family.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:39, Reply)
She's not really the 'Xmas bust-up' type, is she
Bet you were super-embarrassed
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:41, Reply)
It was horrifying. They're Cheltenham, and pretty chav, but normally well behaved.
A couple of the cousins have turned out normal, but one insists on proper old school chav nonsense. Like Rottweilers on chains and children called "paris" and "sharon"
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:43, Reply)
I lived in Chelters for a bit, but in the college so I never really had to deal with any natives

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:45, Reply)
It's lovely in parts,
And one cousin has a lovely gaff in a nice part of town. But aunty is still down on the estate and it's grim.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:50, Reply)
There are some very grand houses in the outskirts iirc

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:53, Reply)
Yeah, parts if it are beautiful

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:57, Reply)
Last big family christmas I remember
5 aunts, 30 cousins, grandma in the corner. An aunt says grace, we say Amen,we pick up our knives and forks, and my brother starts the conversation with "so, that tsunami in Indonesia eh, phwoar, thousands dead they reckon."

Well festive.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:10, Reply)
I remember that Christmas.
It was our first in our own home, so we declined offers of visiting family. We were both ill and had an absolutely miserable time.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:24, Reply)
etc

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:32, Reply)
I'm just trying to get some chat rolling, ffs

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:32, Reply)
It's like Marion & Geoff

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:36, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8089748
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:39, Reply)
I I had to go pick up the college van from the garage,
But I also promised I'd help a mate get a trailer load of wood for him as there was a nice cherry tree down and he wanted to make some nice cherry wood stuff. The college van has a tow hook. Saves me going over there tonight and instead I can go to the pub or something instead.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:37, Reply)
top sneakying m8

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:39, Reply)
Hiya Windy.
Top partridgeing from milliband here:
twitter.com/BBCRadio2/status/877532985565818880
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:50, Reply)
hells fucking bells

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:52, Reply)
Comparing toilets in this one.
twitter.com/BBCPolitics/status/877210505877872643
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:56, Reply)
*pays license fee in advance for next ten years*

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:00, Reply)
Lucky for mgt

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:01, Reply)
*chuckle*

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:03, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:05, Reply)
Well. I'm done.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:52, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:00, Reply)
I was so bored in a meeting earlier
I pulled out one of my nose hairs.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:37, Reply)
not very sneaky m8, soz

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:40, Reply)
Nobody noticed

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:01, Reply)
oh they noticed alright

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:11, Reply)
ffs

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:37, Reply)
that's what I thought

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:40, Reply)
BY WHY

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:41, Reply)
+THIS AMERICAN PIE

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:41, Reply)
By why are led it off the road

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:42, Reply)
There is a futurama mobile game coming out on 29th

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:47, Reply)
nice
i think i signed up for updates on that game about a year ago and i still heard the release date from you. top work
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:14, Reply)
because when i won that £200 last sunday
i never told my aunt, despite the fact that we promised to share big wins.
then again, when she won £200 last year, she only gave me £20 and said she was skint. was she fuck.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:42, Reply)
sounds like tit-for-tat sneakying, m8

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:43, Reply)
Sneakarma

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:44, Reply)
it is a bit
still, i just got a fridge off my cousin for £20.
speaking of which, i better get home before they deliver it
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:48, Reply)
soz, my family have destroyed the peace and quiet I've been enjoying all day
by coming home hot and bad tempered
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:42, Reply)
chuck them out and make them stay in a hotel, m8

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:43, Reply)
fuck that, if anyone's staying in a hotel, it's me
hotels have air conditioning
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:44, Reply)
oh yeah
Off you pop, then
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:44, Reply)
Have you tried killing yourself.
That'll show 'em.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:45, Reply)
it's less than they deserve

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:49, Reply)
Cancel any life insurance and put a will together so any death in service benefit or pension early payment goes to me.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:50, Reply)
I did that months ago

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:52, Reply)
Oh, thanks

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:56, Reply)
WHAT
where's my cut?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:15, Reply)
I'm not even gay I just make those films for the money

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:59, Reply)
well you had me convinced, you're a very good actor

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:00, Reply)
I give it my all

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:02, Reply)
What queer eye for the straight guy?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:02, Reply)
What indeed

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:20, Reply)
I spend every third Saturday doing coke with your ex, and we talk about how much of a wanker you are.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:21, Reply)
You poor sod

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:22, Reply)
It's the weirdest community service order I've ever been given.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 18:19, Reply)
It's National Music Day today and I'm immobile.
Hundreds if not thousands of free gigs in bars all over town. Let it be known that I am narked.

Technically I wouldn't have been able to go to any of them without skiving off anyway, as I'm supposed to be on stage. But filing on stage in a precise choreography and holding your sheet music up while on crutches is far too much faffing.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:24, Reply)
:((((((((

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:31, Reply)
i open my porn in two different incognito browsers
so that I can have the thrill of cheating on each one when I'm having a wank.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:24, Reply)
You bitch :(

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:28, Reply)
xhamster is my side ho

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:30, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/7180001
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 18:22, Reply)
I'm seeing Amber Rudd behind Theresa Mays back
hope neither of them are b3tans
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:32, Reply)
Bad news m8, Theresa May is Frogbeat

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:48, Reply)
I wondered why she kept shouting fucklift during sex

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 17:59, Reply)
I love the holiday season, another 400 b&h turned up for 100 quid

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 18:31, Reply)
Yeah. Big & Hard magazine. You homosexual.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 18:43, Reply)
Please see above, money innit

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 20:05, Reply)
Hullo chum's
A very hot and sweaty Richard here, just checking in.

I'm waiting for my new guitar to arrive. Are you waiting for something to arrive? If so, what?

If not, perhaps you have your eye on something way cool? I'm taking my nipper out for belated Father's Day lunch on Saturday, and I am going to ask her 'if you could have anything you like NOT A PET, what would it be?' As long as it's not utterly ridiculous she can have it that day. I love being in a position to do this after years of skintness. So there, up yours.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:50, Reply)
I'm also waiting for Labi Siffre's 'I Got the (Blues)' from France
Best known as the sample in 'My Name Is' by Eminem.

Lol Labia
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:51, Reply)
featuring chas and dave

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:09, Reply)
this is so

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:12, Reply)
That is a tune, now you mention it.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:10, Reply)
it occurred to me that I didn't own a copy which was not to be tolerated

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:32, Reply)
Your intolerance knows no bounds.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:17, Reply)
it's my 'thing'

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:18, Reply)
Eww, put it away!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:26, Reply)
*reaches for magnifying glass*
Gosh, it is!
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:38, Reply)
The Vulture
off the same album is one of my favorite tunes evah
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:14, Reply)
A pony wouldn't count as a pet, as it's technically a working animal.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:52, Reply)
In which case my 'as long as it's not utterly ridiculous' clause will kick in

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:54, Reply)
Get her a balisong.
Those are well cool, and practical, too.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:56, Reply)
no m8

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:56, Reply)
Mine's asked for a Chelsea football kit.
I think she might be a cuckoo.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:58, Reply)
Or at best 'a peasant'

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:58, Reply)
Tell her fuck off bollocks you're a cunt

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:59, Reply)
She only likes the women's team, thinks the men's is crap.
I imagine the kit is identical, though.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:03, Reply)
lezzer, eh?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:03, Reply)
Such a dyke

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:03, Reply)
She is none too keen on boys.
No matter, I'm sure at least one of my boys will carry on my bloodline.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:08, Reply)
more's the pity.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:09, Reply)
lol, I'm an evolutionary success.
The future will be shaped in my image!
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:12, Reply)
*mumbles something about HG Wells's time machine and Dysgenics*

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:17, Reply)
You are the morlock to my eloi.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:19, Reply)
Does she still use her decks?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:59, Reply)
They are still in boxes at her mum's :((((((((((((
She does use mine though
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:00, Reply)
That's a shame, at least she uses yours though.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:01, Reply)
They cost me sod all but still, an utter waste of money and effort
Her mum was all for it until I bought them for her at which point she decided they didn't have the room. You know, like a fucking cunt would do.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:04, Reply)
you do surprise me!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:06, Reply)
American Epic the soundtrack lp.
American Epic the sessions lp.
Rhianon Giddens's lp
Two Ibibio Sound Machine lp's
Some fancy polythene record inner sleeves
Some polythene record outer sleeves
My soundmagic bluetooth headphones
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:54, Reply)
I bought a shitload of card 45 sleeves and polythene outers for them a while ago
The paper sleeves many of my 45s were in were completely fucked in many instances. For the sake of about 15 quid this was a very good move on my part.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:56, Reply)
I bought the poly inners as some of the sleeves were fucked, but also because as I clean my records I can swap them in and they won't get covered in paper dust.
I cleaned about 50 records a couple of weekends ago while getting smashed on red wine. It was reasonably enjoyable.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:58, Reply)
I should catalogue my collection for insurance purposes but it's a fucking huge task so I bet I never do

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:01, Reply)
Well I also started doing that as I cleaned them. I figured it'd only get more arduous as it goes on.
I didn't bother telling discogs the condition of the records, and I'm only on the letter B yet it reckons it's worth between £400 to a bag. Not that I've any intention of flogging any of them mind.

Given you've got thousands of records, you should consider hiring a minion to do it.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:03, Reply)
They are covered as a job lot at 50k on the insurance

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:05, Reply)
crikey.
The problem with that is I've probably only got several hundred records, and I still look through them and think 'oh shit, I completely forgot I had that' so I'd probably stand no chance of replacing them even if I had a payout.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:07, Reply)
take photos instead

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:25, Reply)
That's probably the best idea

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:25, Reply)
I'm waiting for my Prince charming.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:55, Reply)
sorry m8 the traffic's awful

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:57, Reply)
Waiting for some cunt to make an offer on my house
This would also fall under your 'as long as it's not utterly ridiculous' category.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:58, Reply)
How much would you accept for it?
I know talking about money is frightfully vulgar but I am just interested. By all means don't reply if you'd prefer
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:59, Reply)
11p lol

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:01, Reply)
lol 11p

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:02, Reply)
haha I know

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:10, Reply)
Haha, I'll take a dozen!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:12, Reply)
Haha, that means 12

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:13, Reply)
lol, maths!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:20, Reply)
rofl, unless you're a baker!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:44, Reply)
Get this
My nan was one of 13, and her mother's maiden name was Baker.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:46, Reply)
thanks I've just hacked her bank account

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:48, Reply)
Oh no, not again

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:49, Reply)

ha li
bank ac o
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:29, Reply)
dude. woah.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:06, Reply)
ino

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:11, Reply)
lol!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:13, Reply)
I'll buy it

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:13, Reply)
hang on
do you live on portsea or hayling?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:14, Reply)
portsea

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:15, Reply)
soz, m8
no sale
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:18, Reply)
Hayling, I meant Hayling!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:19, Reply)
gayring, more like

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:06, Reply)
Yes, it *is* a hellish shithole with no proper transport links and insufficient utilities and schools for the people living there, isn't it

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:12, Reply)
Interesting trades considered

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:15, Reply)
Kevin Keegan '82 panini sticker?
I've got doubles of that one
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:18, Reply)
dalgleish shiny or gtf

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:18, Reply)
Im fucked off.
The cruise we had booked in Sept has been cancelled. Only a small portion of the boat was this particular gaggle of gays and drag queens, last stop Russia. This was apparently a problem, and the guy from alandchuck.travel decides personally, to cancel.
Now we're left with ryanair flights to Hamburg that cost more to change, than the actual flight.

No insurance booked as yet, I hadn't even added baggage.
Im arguing the point, currently.

Fuckers.

tl;dr
Fuckers.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:00, Reply)
Go to Hamburg and smash it up in the Reeperbahn
Sorted
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:02, Reply)
It's an option I suppose...

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:08, Reply)
Oh great now work will think I've been googling german red light districts.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:24, Reply)
You have.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:26, Reply)
lol, "cruising"

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:18, Reply)
What's most surprising
is that a group of gay men took this long to realise that going on a jolly to Russia is probably not a good idea
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:20, Reply)
^

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:21, Reply)
It was the last stop on the cruise (lol)
It's rubbish anyway. The real reason is because the queens booked are also contracted to attend drag con in NYC.

I call bullshit.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:30, Reply)
Yeah, sounds like cold feet to me
Which is a condition one would be likely to suffer from in a siberian gulag
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:34, Reply)
On the plus side now you can do something fewer shit, Jason

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:36, Reply)
In Hamburg I learnt that kino means cinema
becuase sex kinos are a thing there. I crossed to the other side of the road and looked embarrassed like a Britisher should.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:17, Reply)
Dunno

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:02, Reply)
cool

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:03, Reply)
we will see what happens

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:23, Reply)
Don't get your hopes up

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:25, Reply)
Oh I won't, I've been hurt before

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:43, Reply)
I'm waiting for my wife's birthday present
it's one of those old 3D viewers where you put in slides like film negatives and saw stuff in rudimentary stereovision. Like-new-in-box genuine shit from the DDR, cos she got all nostalgic for it.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:03, Reply)
When google cardboard came out I made a diy one with my phone and the cd case for tool's 10,000 days.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:05, Reply)
10,000 gays' tools MORE LIKE

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:08, Reply)
as much as I like that album
I don't understand how it fits into this anecdote.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Then you're either a thief or difficult.
cathalred88.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/tool-10000_days-03.jpg
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:25, Reply)
I bought the digital download
I haven't purchased physical media in about 15 years. Blagged all my CDs for free through Uni radio.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:26, Reply)
My housemate still has that album after getting rid of pretty much all of his CDs
It's a gimmick, but a really cool one. Album's pretty good too
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:04, Reply)
wankage

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:08, Reply)
I've just ordered some new vegetarian birkenstocks

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:08, Reply)
I bet they taste like shit.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:10, Reply)
bent as shit

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:11, Reply)
butch lesbian footwear of choice

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:12, Reply)
you fucking wanker

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:14, Reply)
haha

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:18, Reply)
just ordered Only Built 4 Cuban Linx and all
they don't do a vegetarian version though
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:26, Reply)
that is a fantastic LP
that and Liquid Swords are the best Wu solo records
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:33, Reply)
When I was little, my father was famous.
He was the greatest Samurai in the Empire, and he was the Shogun's decapitator. He cut off the heads of 131 lords for the Shogun. It was a bad time for the empire.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:44, Reply)
I fucking love Shogun Assassin

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:51, Reply)
that's been on my amazon wishlist for ages and no cunt has bought it for me
but I just looked and they've dropped the price since I added it, so I've bought it for myself
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:47, Reply)
skillz

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:57, Reply)
i liked odb's nigga please

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:14, Reply)
When you listen to his records you can tell that they had to record him pretty much one line at at time
Then they're all pasted together into actual tracks. Not that he wasn't brilliant, but he was also a fucking mess
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:21, Reply)
just seeing him in interviews makes me laugh

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:25, Reply)
I have an /ac anecdote about seeing him live in Ilford

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:26, Reply)
i wonder if his last album will ever see the light of day, funny lot them with not releasing stuff

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:26, Reply)
They'll spin releasing his every recorded moment out for as long as possible
There's still 'new' Hendrix stuff coming out even now
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:38, Reply)
Pal of mine has a sideline in archival.
They've done Redding stuff and that; label just wanted it digitized, told them to keep the masters, they didn't care.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:53, Reply)
Whenever we're in Brighton, and go past the vegetarian shoe shop,
one of my kids will wonder why you'd want to eat shoes.

I'm so proud of them.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:23, Reply)

and go past the vegetarian shoe shop,
one of my kids will wonder why you'd want to eat shoes.
I let all the benders do me up the bum-bum and gay up my willy.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:25, Reply)
When in Rome, Two Hats.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:17, Reply)
Tits

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:22, Reply)
In a way we are all waiting for tits

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:34, Reply)
waiting for titoh

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:32, Reply)
Nullo bum's more like!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:23, Reply)
I'd like to order some military ration packs

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:28, Reply)
You should go full survivalist like one of those mentals on 'Doomsday Preppers'.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:32, Reply)
I watched the primitive technology youtube channel
where a bloke shows how to make a mud hut and stoneage tools and roman heated flooring and stuff, and in all honesty I'd love a week away somewhere just doing that, washing in a stream and imagining I'm the last human on the planet.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:36, Reply)
right up until the typhoid kicks in.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:37, Reply)
I read an interesting thing a couple of weeks ago about some american bloke.
He was relatively normal until he hit about 20, then just drove his car into some american wilderness and fucked off into it, not to be seen for nearly 30 years, he built a den and lived off of things that he stole from log cabins (only things he needed, food and gas cannisters mostly) then he got arrested after they set up silent alarms and cctv.

www.gq.com/story/the-last-true-hermit
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:48, Reply)
last true helmit MORE LIKE

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:51, Reply)
not while you're still breathing m8

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:58, Reply)
I think mcbeef only sells furniture

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:32, Reply)
I sell a coathanger that is £45 for one.
What a world!
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:38, Reply)
bollocks. BOLLOCKS

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:33, Reply)
But why

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:38, Reply)
because food isn't the source of pleasure for me that it is for you
I'm just interested in the experience of survivalism.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:41, Reply)
Waiting for Saturday to arrive, I guess,
so I can rawk out at the physio clinic.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:39, Reply)
i'm waiting for my mum to fuck off out of the kitchen
so i can nick another zoom
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:41, Reply)
are you 12?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:42, Reply)
no
but i dislike being called a greedy cunt
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:47, Reply)
but you are a greedy cunt

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:49, Reply)
well, obviously

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:56, Reply)

a greedy cunt Fat Larry
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:57, Reply)
I fucking HATE that record
He's badly out of tune in a couple of places, for one thing
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:26, Reply)
I quite like the boo radleys' version

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:38, Reply)
I'm sure you do

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:38, Reply)
I used to enjoy a zoom back in the day
Before my sweet tooth buggered off
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:42, Reply)
i prefer savoury snacks myself
but it's too hot for a coffee
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:48, Reply)
I want a Zap now.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:49, Reply)

Zap wank
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:49, Reply)
or a zap wank

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:52, Reply)
well that just goes without saying.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:58, Reply)
i am now eating my second zoom

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:58, Reply)
or a feast, I could well go a mint feast.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:59, Reply)
or you could have a zap wank

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:01, Reply)
Devastatin' Dave would love that, wouldn't he/

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:07, Reply)
feasts are awesome, mint feasts aren't as good as the originals
and now it seems i'm off to buy a fridge.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:14, Reply)
^fancies Roger Troutman

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:12, Reply)
lol, we nicknamed a kid that in school 'cos he liked fishing.
There was also a catholic kid who looked a bit like big pun, called big nun.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:14, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:21, Reply)
Well if you'd asked me yesterday I'd have said my new box mod for my vape
But I've got it now so nothing
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:01, Reply)

i.imgur.com/zeppNzH.gif
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:08, Reply)

youtu.be/Dkm8Hteeh6M more like
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:11, Reply)
ahahaha

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:26, Reply)
trainers I don't need
Shorts I've just ordered and a couple of prints.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:18, Reply)
My mum's on the way
coming to stay in Der Smoke for a couple of days.

Should be fun - we're going to an unlimited prosecco lunch on Friday - could get competitive...
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:19, Reply)
willy

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 16:21, Reply)
Name a thing you like that at least one other forum member also likes

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:35, Reply)
wrestling

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:36, Reply)

guess who the other forum member is!
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:36, Reply)
baldmonkey

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:38, Reply)
no, the kind of wrestling he was into made me feel uncomfortable

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:40, Reply)
GS^

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:40, Reply)

elitedaily.com/sports/brazzers-wrestling-fans-dirty-memes/984853/
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:46, Reply)
Childish.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:49, Reply)

i.imgur.com/TGUkwY3.gif
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:52, Reply)
You can't take Stan Lee anywhere.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:53, Reply)

i.imgur.com/ErZ1N2s.gif
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:55, Reply)
Excellent.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:59, Reply)
is that a child or a dwarf behind him?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:03, Reply)
we may never kniw

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:12, Reply)
yep

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:12, Reply)
The one with Christian and Orton is cracking
The one with Heidenreich was acutally an angle in which he sodomised Michael Cole, if I recall?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:54, Reply)
haha, orton looks like he was added in afterwards but yeah. it's perfect
aye, the heidenreich thing has to be filed away somewhere either as 'worst gimmicks ever' or 'ideas to revisit one day'
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:15, Reply)
Seinfeld

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:36, Reply)
never seen it

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:46, Reply)
Tit

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:38, Reply)
Cor

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:49, Reply)
Cottaging.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:39, Reply)
Boobs

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:40, Reply)
wanking

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:42, Reply)
Transformers.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:45, Reply)

formers sexual pornography
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:46, Reply)
Transexuals, willies in disguise.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:53, Reply)
hung-urrr

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:52, Reply)
cockwave

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:52, Reply)
Megadong

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:41, Reply)
Slag

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:41, Reply)
^kink-shaming^

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:54, Reply)
g1, i should hope

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:46, Reply)
I whiled away many a school lunchtime reading through the enormous stock of comics that the library had somehow accumulated.
Simon Furman did some excellent work.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:49, Reply)
Not even in my top 10 favourite g's

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:51, Reply)
well, you can't teach that

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:15, Reply)
^doesn't need an egg

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:38, Reply)
Tracey Chapman's Fast Car

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:46, Reply)
oh yeah, there's more than one bent on this forum

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:48, Reply)
Beatboxing in the nude.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:47, Reply)
nudebeating in a box

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:28, Reply)
Iced Gems

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:49, Reply)
Yuk.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:49, Reply)
Yum!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:50, Reply)
9/11

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:50, Reply)
up the bum-bum from other spazzes

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:51, Reply)
Drugs

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:58, Reply)
no-one likes them like you do

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:06, Reply)
disagreeing

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:07, Reply)
Dunno.
After 2 years good service my soundmagics have died. More than likely because I use the wire to fish my phone out of my pocket.

To remedy this I've gone for the bluetooth version this time. I'm sure one of you can get strong opinions over that.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:12, Reply)
P

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:13, Reply)
I can't get along with bluetooth
low file transfer speed, high power usage, and it drops more often than a palsied waiter. And it ballsed up my CarPC.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:25, Reply)
My bluetooth minirig works alright.
Sometimes gets confused and needs a reset to pair, which is a bit annoying.

For home audio chromecast audio is much better though. In fact I think it's better than sonos, which I thought had really cack software when I used it.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:30, Reply)
Wired headphones are mechanically simple, and cheap, but the cables/connectors are prone to breakage.
Bluetooth adds a layer of complexity (and the possibility of not working), and are more expensive, but getting the cable out of the way is a blessing.

Overall, I'm ambivalent.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:31, Reply)
Yeah, I figured these only broke because of my habit of pulling the phone out of my pocket by the wire.
I considered just soldering a new jack on but that wouldn't last because see above.

Also threading the wire under my jumper is a faff. I also think it might sound better/louder as the sound chips on some phones are crap.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:34, Reply)
My kids were forever breaking the connectors of theirs, for similar reasons.
I've now got one using a Bluetooth set, the other two have been persuaded to buy cheap earbuds using their own money.
My wife just loses hers and then nicks mine. :(
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:49, Reply)
What I meant to type was
Does Bluetooth affect sound quality? Does it compress things or anything?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:47, Reply)
Probably. There's some audio protocol for it.
It's 24-bit so higher resolution than mp3/cd.

I wouldn't use it on a set of earphones I was using in my house, but when I'm wandering about on the street or on a train journey I'm sure they'll be fine.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:56, Reply)
Make sure you use a gold plated Bluetooth receiver,
otherwise the elections will flow the wrong way and your music will be all jumbled up.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:03, Reply)
I know an "audiophile" who is very serious about his cables.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:04, Reply)
Strikey-g

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:08, Reply)
What makes that bullshit even funnier is that by the time you get to the point in life where you can afford such expensive toys your hearing has probably degenerated to the point you won't notice it, even if it did make any difference.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:09, Reply)
It's mcbeef, isn't it?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:17, Reply)
Is it fuck m8

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:22, Reply)
:D

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:26, Reply)
FooOOOoooOoDDDDDddddd

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:26, Reply)
I'm only just eating my breakfast.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:31, Reply)
I ate a load of cake this morning and now it's nearly lunchtime and I'm not hungry
I hope the forum can offer me some support at this difficult time
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:37, Reply)
stick your little finger up your urethra

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:38, Reply)
feels a bit weird

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:50, Reply)
Take your lunch later on.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:40, Reply)
nommy nommy nommies! lol!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:35, Reply)
lol!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:40, Reply)
lol!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:49, Reply)
stewart lee

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:39, Reply)

stewart rusty
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:40, Reply)
I liked ideshow bill better

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:48, Reply)
Teh fluffeh lol

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:41, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:23, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:23, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:29, Reply)
Alright dribble

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:30, Reply)
Tits

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:08, Reply)
Dude, dude, he just said it

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:14, Reply)
Well, that proves there are two of us, at least.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:40, Reply)
Doing a great big poo.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:19, Reply)
Uranus

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:30, Reply)
weirdly, i'm going skateboarding after work. which is pretty tragic for a man my age
having not done it in about 10 years, this can only go well
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:31, Reply)
I knew a guy in his forties who still went skateboarding

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:33, Reply)
he's dead now?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:42, Reply)
I'm still fairly good

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:35, Reply)
yeah, the guy i work with does it a lot and managed to convince someone else to get a deck and go for a skate
but she'd only go if 'someone else who's crap comes too' so that's me!
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:41, Reply)
I can't think of a worse way of spending time with my colleagues short of giving them a grater, a lemon and access to my penis.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:44, Reply)
*adds to list of "team building" suggestions*

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:51, Reply)
i actually like the people i work with though

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 14:42, Reply)
Few lads I used to skate with still go, all mid 40s , surf and snowboard now too, I'm too scared of smashing myself up

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:49, Reply)
There were quite a few guys punting* longboards around the track, on Sunday.
If it weren't for the fact that I'm incapable of standing up on a skateboard, I'd get one.

* "landpaddling" according to wikipedia
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:39, Reply)
break a leg!
jajajaja
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 13:43, Reply)
Don't try to compare us to a another bad little fad,
I'm the Mac and I'm bad give you something that you never had
I'll make ya bump bump wiggle and shake your rump
'Cause I'll be kicking the flavor that makes you wanna jump

Seems insecure no? I think our friends Kriss Kross were a little worried their gimmicky 90s personas were not always taken seriously. What are you insecure about?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:11, Reply)
will girls like me for who I really am?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:17, Reply)
No mate, your a cretin

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:25, Reply)
oh yeah I hadn't thought of that
I'm not much to look at either
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:29, Reply)
Does my bum look big in this?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:18, Reply)
Huge

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:25, Reply)
Excellent.
That IS why I'm sitting in an egg-cup after all...
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:33, Reply)
Why are rappers always talking about "flavor"?
Are they all cookery school dropouts?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:21, Reply)
It's about creating an image with descriptive terms to inspire, or tell a story or make a joke or push an agenda.
Not unlike poetry or literature in fact. Slang terms and themes are present, but this isn't unusual in a group of contemporary artists of any genre.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:26, Reply)
Grrr's answer was more helpful,
although I'm still none the wiser as to the origin of the term "flavor" in regards to lyrics.
Might restrict my dissing to whack flow, instead.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:33, Reply)
If you're going to start pulling apart rap for this,
Then you've got to start pulling apart poets and so gorth for the same.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:39, Reply)
Don't think so.
Poets don't usually run up to you in the street and start yelling their latest creation at you.

Also: slam is pretentious wank.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:45, Reply)
Poetry should almost never be read out loud.
Unless you're reading it to children.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:52, Reply)
wait what?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:57, Reply)
Ever heard Poetry Please, on Radio 4, or any of those poetry slams that they occasionally broadcast?
Always awful. On the other hand, Michael Rosen's YouTube channel is lovely.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:01, Reply)
this is as idiotic as saying that because Kanye West has made some bad records that all hip hop is terrible

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:03, Reply)
I will grant that, if you get an professional actor to read it out, it can be enjoyable.
I'd still rather read it, though. Poetry belongs in books, not on the radio.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:08, Reply)
your silly

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:16, Reply)
I have a low tolerance for Shakespeare, too.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:18, Reply)
I'm beginning to lower my tolerance for your opinion on anything

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:23, Reply)
I'm unaccustomed to having my opinions valued.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:25, Reply)
If Linton Kwesi Johnson heard you say this he'd punch you in the face.
And rightly so.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:04, Reply)
I'd no more want to listen to someone read out their poetry
than I would want to read a book of hip hop lyrics.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:06, Reply)
I take it you don't like John Cooper Clarke either.
Given poetry predates mass-literacy, and is massively influenced by how words sound, and stanza's and that, I'd argue you're being a 'massive wally' here.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:13, Reply)
John Cooper Clarke is a complete tosser
and anyone who thinks he's great probably writes "witticisms" on the walls of public toilets.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:14, Reply)
I saw him at a festival a few years ago, he was shit and a prick
I don't like it when he sits in for Jarvis Cocker on the radio either
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:17, Reply)
He's great when he sits in on 6.
Always puts on a good playlist, and far more pleasurable to listen to than Jarvis droning on about whatever.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:21, Reply)
well, there you go

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:22, Reply)
I prefer when Leila Moss sits in, she's great.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:32, Reply)
I quite liked the first duke spirit album when it came out
true story
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 12:14, Reply)
YOU'RE a massive tosser.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:18, Reply)
AH'M NORTHERN AN AH DUNNA SWEAR WOT RHYMED!
Oh wow Mr Clark, please take this honorary doctorate.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:20, Reply)
He's fucking awful, no question

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:25, Reply)
He'd almost be the exception that proves the rule.
I'm well aware that poetry has it's origins in the spoken form, I just don't enjoy listening to it. Almost all performance poetry that I've heard has been a special kind of terrible.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:17, Reply)
Maybe you've just been to a lot of shit poetry?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:18, Reply)
On the radio. Based on my experience, I'd not be likely to trot along to a live performance.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:22, Reply)
Yeah, Ted Hughes was forever boasting about his dope rhymes.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:47, Reply)
It's enough to make you put your own head in an oven.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:59, Reply)
That cropped up as a method of suicide in an episode of Inside No. 9.
Mrs munch thought this was particularly stupid, as modern ovens don't work that way.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:02, Reply)
Venture bros also referenced it, which I found funny

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:04, Reply)
Dunno what that is.
I'd probably hate it.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:12, Reply)
I dunno actually
it's something both manolith and I find amusing.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:15, Reply)
He did steer me right on Rick & Morty,
but I don't think we've agreed on much else.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:24, Reply)
I think it might be best for everyone if I stay out of this

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:24, Reply)
I was hoping you might be able to provide some clarity on the origin and meaning of "flavor".
Without reference to Guy Fieri.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:26, Reply)
Origin is a tough one,
But in terms of meaning, it's synonymous with 'unique style'. An early example would be Latee's excellent 'This Cut's Got Flavor' from 1987:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iy8tGbg7wLc

It's a recurring theme in hip hop - cf 'fresh'
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:33, Reply)
Thanks, Rich!
Grrry said it was about lyrics, but I reckons that's the "rhymes" and the way they're delivered is the "flow", so I'm going with your definition.

Can you advise on the correct pronunciation of "Flava Flav"?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:38, Reply)
The concept of 'style' is the absolute core of hip hop culture,
From the music to graffiti, dance and fashion - this is particularly evident with the early MCs, there's not much content in their rhymes - the focus is on style and sounding good, and in my expert opinion that's not a bad thing.

PS it's pronounced 'Flavour Flayve' as well you know it
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:41, Reply)
Yeah, I do. I pronounced it to rhyme with "lav" when I was a teenager, though.
I'm quite happy to listen to a rap that is about nothing more than how good the rap is. Good times for good times sake, it's rather uplifting.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:44, Reply)
That's why I rate Lord Finesse so highly
He doesn't really have anything to say other than 'I'm great' but he does that brilliantly. Big Daddy Kane also
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:49, Reply)
I'm upset my thread has turned

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:28, Reply)
^ upset

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:29, Reply)
There's a lot of bollocks being spouted

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:35, Reply)
the lyrics are supposed to be the flavour
to compensate for just how moronically dull and insipid the underlying music is. A bit like the blue bag of salt in an old bag of crisps.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:29, Reply)
gosh you're right
they make so little effort to find decent music to base their records on and there is little to no innovation in any of it
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:32, Reply)
It's all awful music made by talentless hacks

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:37, Reply)
Kanye West deserves to be lynched
for what he did to 21st Century Schizoid Man
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:44, Reply)

h bl
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:24, Reply)
Mmmh
This is why I hate the chanson française genre, and none of my French friends understand. "But the lyrics are so finely-crafted!", they bleat. Yes...and the music is exactly the sodding same, every time.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:38, Reply)
Polish hip-hop's the same
check out their faces, they barely move
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:40, Reply)
Minor bonus points for bendy, squeezy buildings.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:43, Reply)
I think this is my favourite Polish tune
youtu.be/8DXDjCz2drE
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:51, Reply)
Based on what I've heard on the soundtrack to Taxi,
French is an excellent language to rap in.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:50, Reply)
+c

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:00, Reply)
willies

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:23, Reply)
This should help.
i.ebayimg.com/images/g/CrYAAOSw8w1X6fsl/s-l300.jpg
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:28, Reply)
How does one kick 'flavor' exactly?
Rappers just make up all these phrases to sound cool but deep down all they want is a hug.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:26, Reply)
See above

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:28, Reply)
I get loads of positive comments on Youtube and lego forums and at work about my voice
and then I come on here and people say I sound like a paedo and my face goes all crestfallen because some people are always critical no matter what you do :((((
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:28, Reply)
Have you tried sounding less like a pedo

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:30, Reply)
I fear that will drive away my core fan base

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:33, Reply)
your mum thinks you're cool
that's all that matters
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:50, Reply)
that can't be right

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:57, Reply)
HIS mum thinks YOU'RE cool
chew on that for a while
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:04, Reply)
chew on this
*points at butthole*
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:10, Reply)
er gross

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:16, Reply)
Why? I've wiped it.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:17, Reply)
yeah, but still

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:22, Reply)
Just have a sniff and see where that goes

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:23, Reply)
fine

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:32, Reply)
Ant and Dec

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:29, Reply)
humanity

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:33, Reply)
It'll all be over with in s few thousand years, just relax

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:44, Reply)
WINDY
SAYS
RELAX

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 11:11, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:15, Reply)
morning rich,
my body seems to think waking up after only 2 1/2 hrs of sleep is enough.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:18, Reply)
Hullo woodo

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:52, Reply)
Morning McBeef
Och aye tha noo, as our Scottish subjects would say
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:20, Reply)
our subjects?
are you #theRealQueen or #iAmTheresaMay ?
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:21, Reply)
also, May is over, it's almost July, shouldn't she have quit by now?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:22, Reply)
I don't know if my mind is ready for such complex wordplay

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:24, Reply)

such complex wordplay this jelly
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:53, Reply)
Crivens m8

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:52, Reply)
thank fuck for this thread

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:35, Reply)
The wheels have come off Grrry
It's all fucked
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:48, Reply)
you didn't torque the bolts down m8, your fault.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:54, Reply)
WHen I did the mongol rally, I helped a pair of clueless derbyshire twins buy a skoda over here
They flew to the wrong city to meet me, got lost on their way to warsaw, and turned their nose up at the full english I cooked them the next day because the tomatoes weren't organic. They quit the rally in Ukraine after getting robbed by the police (they got stopped at a roadcheck to pay a bribe, like everyone, and pulled out a wallet stuffed with $1000, in full view of the cops). They were nice blokes but thicker than pigshit.

Last I'd heard, they bought a campervan, filled it with 6 mates, then rolled it on an Austrian autobahn when the wheel fell off because they'd forgotten to tighten the wheel nuts.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:56, Reply)
I got as far as "tomatoes weren't organic"

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:13, Reply)
Is that like a Nuremberg Rally only for retards?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:24, Reply)

Our fellow retard Rosenberg began his speech by stuttering that it is critical for a care home that its territory correspond to its population. As he put it so well: “The nation needs space hoppers.” How well we know that the fulfillment of this sentence has guided and determined the fate of our care home for many centuries. We know further that, save for a relatively short period of retard history, we have not succeeded in the task. The question confronts us today as insistently as ever: No carers, of whatever kind, can long escape dealing with it.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:28, Reply)
As true today as it was in our forefathers' time

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:29, Reply)
Ur welcome

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:53, Reply)
lol come

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:57, Reply)
Hullo

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:49, Reply)
Hatsy Palmer

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:53, Reply)
TIL that George Harrison's 'Got My Mind Set On You' was a cover version

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:53, Reply)
TIL also

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:28, Reply)
Biggidy biggidy bong

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:52, Reply)
Wind.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:53, Reply)
Biggidy bad and heavy

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 7:59, Reply)
alright dribble

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:24, Reply)
Happy International Yoga Day m8!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:06, Reply)
International TOGA Day more like
To-ga! To-ga! To-ga!
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:25, Reply)

2000!
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:57, Reply)
ffs m8

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:29, Reply)
i know
this is what it's like in my head all the time
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:40, Reply)
That girl from big bang loves yoga , if only there was a picture

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:38, Reply)
cor!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:42, Reply)
seen the pokemon gym revamp is coming?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:39, Reply)
they're all 'under construction' at the mo
the new stuff sounds a bit confusing
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:40, Reply)
keep it black
www.yogainblack.co.uk/about/
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:10, Reply)
We had enough morning threads, yesterday, to see us through the week.
This is just wasteful.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:10, Reply)
The glory days are back MuMo
Now we can have all the morning threads we want, let the next generation deal with the oncoming morning thread recession
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:12, Reply)
The only solution I can see is for you to hack your genitals off using a a rusty saw

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:26, Reply)
I had my balls mutilated with a cautery pen.
I think that's enough.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:13, Reply)

cautery ballpoint
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:13, Reply)
I'd like to think that scrotum piercings aren't really a thing,
but I bet they are.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:17, Reply)
Today is sponsored by the word 'sweat'.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:10, Reply)
alright 'martha wash'

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:16, Reply)
Had never heard of her, thought it was a joke cabaret name for 'mouthwash', still not sure I get it.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:32, Reply)

martha bog
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:46, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBlRuGFT7Ew
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:26, Reply)
Damn straight.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:32, Reply)
hey hey ricky
hey ricky hey
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:43, Reply)
Is he so fine he blows your mind?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:45, Reply)
Hi windy,

I'm not one to just go around and tell my friends random things If you know me, then you know that I always like to make sure that I know what I'm talking about first.

This is why I waited so long before telling you what is in this email.

One of my closest friends works at a high tech medical firm. They discovered a very successful cure for a certain type of tumor.

For some odd reasons though, their share price crashed through the floor. It went from 2 bucks to like 10 cents over the last few weeks.

My buddy believes that this is due to people being misinformed regarding a new trump policy.

The reality is, the company I'm telling you about right now is about to get f d a approval in the next few weeks and their price is guaranteed to go up more than 15 times its current price.

This is why I think you should take a very close look at q's'm'g (without the apostrophes of course). This is the ticker of the company in question.

If you want something that's practically a sure bet, I recommend you get in this stock today. Even if it's for a modest amount.

You'll be in for a good ride.


Best Regards,
Tricia Ward
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:47, Reply)
wow, what a scoop!
*sells house*
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:48, Reply)
Hi tangles,
One of my friends at Goldman told me to buy QSMG this morning.

He is an expert at this stuff and has never let me down before. After researching the company, it seems that he may be right.

I am going to buy 5,000 shares now because it's all I can afford, but you should buy as little or as many as you possibly can...

Their biotech arm, Stemvax has developed a cure for cancer and just completed successful human trials under the FDA's supervision.

The stock has jumped 3X already since last week and is guaranteed to go to at least 20 dollars this month based on his research.

Once QSMG's official announcements for the cure become public, there's no saying how high their share price will go.

I expect some very serious stuff to be announced in the coming 2 weeks. Act quickly so you don't miss out.


Regards,
Jonathan Price
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:56, Reply)
Hi $$
There are very few times in life when we truly get the chance to be part of something big, and profitable at the same time.

The doctors at QSMG have been working nonstop for more than 20 years to get to this moment a cure for cancer.

They completed animal trials last year which were very positive, and completed human trials just a few days ago with the fda's blessing.

The results are not out yet but according to my sources, the human trials were very successful as well and cancer cells were successfully killed in 40% of all cases.

40% might not seem like a passing grade, but it is above and beyond what everyone was expecting. This makes it the most successful cancer drug on earth, and best of all it is non-invasive.

The results will be announced this month, and once they are out the stock will jump to $25 a share overnight and will continue up to $50 or more quickly after.

Want to feel like a genius? Buy QSMG right now while it's still at just 2 dollars, and wait it out 2 weeks. You will be rewarded handsomely.

From

Fay Vinson
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:09, Reply)
QSMG closed trading yesterday at 10 cents per share
I expect it'll hit 11 cents by the end of today and the scammers will cash in their 10% winnings and pick another penny stock to manipulate.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:10, Reply)

ny stock us
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:11, Reply)
always

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:39, Reply)
Vikings gonna vike

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:46, Reply)
We were rippin' up
We were rockin' up
Roll it over and lay it down
We were shakin' up
We were breakin' up
We were rockin' to the Tang-a-lang sound of the music
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:52, Reply)
Mohing

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:48, Reply)
Young master garrold

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:50, Reply)
"yo"

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:55, Reply)
bit ethnic m8

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 8:55, Reply)
i was just trying it out

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:03, Reply)
we got hit by the Tesco glitch
so I'm mother fucking hubbard. This is what happens when you rely on the internet. I've learned my lesson.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:07, Reply)
Wosthatthen?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:12, Reply)
they cancelled our weekly shopping at a moments notice due to a 'technical error'
#FirstWorldProblems
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:13, Reply)
Maybe this is their way of telling you to cut back a bit. Eh fatty?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:16, Reply)
If I walk to the shop to buy ice cream, it defeats the purpose
Honestly, do try to keep up, Windy
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:17, Reply)
haha yeah walk
good one
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:55, Reply)
wannacry?
that's pretty bad though. frinkiac.com/video/S05E10/FkG1D7uQMtw-gOIteJ6cuJFVr1M=.gif
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:39, Reply)
sup nig

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:29, Reply)
Good morning one and all

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:11, Reply)
Posted without comment
io9.gizmodo.com/diversity-comes-to-barbies-boyfriend-ken-complete-with-1796262806
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:16, Reply)
I thought man buns were a Gay thing

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:19, Reply)
oh, they are
the gayest
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:22, Reply)
gayer than this?
*points at crotch*
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:23, Reply)
the prosecution rests

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:23, Reply)
Saw a guy yesterday in a silver Audi A5 with the scraggiest of man buns.
And lo, he did look stupid.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:26, Reply)
Not as gay as cushions and lamps

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:47, Reply)
bum

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:20, Reply)

i.imgur.com/78fTDF1.gifv
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:28, Reply)
woah

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:32, Reply)
haha. fuck!

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:44, Reply)
Is there an Elaborate Facial Hair Ken?

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:30, Reply)
you could learn a lot from this
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/94/6e/76/946e7638a94c999e26fcf27efc46ad14--ken-doll-remember-this.jpg
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:33, Reply)
You could learn how to post hyperlinks.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:36, Reply)
I'll have you know I took a razor over my face, last night.
This 'stash doesn't sculpt itself, y'know.

I hate shaving.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:38, Reply)


(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:31, Reply)
Those dolls don't look like any bloke called Ken
They should be renamed Jayden, Hayden and Brayden, or similar millennial shit.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:31, Reply)
This is probably Racism

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:33, Reply)
there are cunts of every race m8

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:40, Reply)
Also, Kendrick Lamar is a black fella.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:50, Reply)
dunno who that is soz

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:57, Reply)
He makes horrible noises, that's all I know.

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:04, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8089382
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 10:16, Reply)
Millennial isn't a race, it's a faith group.
So it's generic hate speech that he's guilty of.
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:41, Reply)

i.imgur.com/97JGSPP.gifv
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 9:32, Reply)
THIS FUNKY LITTLE JOINT'S BEEN SERVING UP KILLER KOREAN WITH A WELSH TWIST SINCE TWO THOUSAND FIVE

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:49, Reply)
just sayin

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:49, Reply)
Damn hippies and their fusion restaurants

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:50, Reply)
THE KIMCHI RAREBIT IS THA BAMB

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:51, Reply)
oops, you accidentally left your caps lock on

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:51, Reply)
THE REAL KICKER'S THE LEEK FRIED RICE, IT'S OFF THE HOOK
GOOD JAB
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:53, Reply)
well, that's just your opinion

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:59, Reply)
PROVE IT

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:52, Reply)
KYUNG-KI PARK AND HER HUSBAND DAI EVANS LEFT THEIR FINANCE JABS TO FOLLOW THEIR DREAM OF OPENING THEIR OWN RESTAURANT

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:54, Reply)
I stand corrected

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:58, Reply)
I'm not even married
it's all lies
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 22:51, Reply)
AND ITS HEAD CHEF IS NONE OTHER THAN GETHIN EDWARDS

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:53, Reply)
Cheese on dog?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:56, Reply)
WHEN THESE GUYS SAY THEY SERVE CHILLI DOGS THEY REALLY MEAN IT

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:56, Reply)
REALLY GET THAT HIT OF CHILLI AND THAT BARK IS AMAZING. PUT IT THERE BROTHER

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:58, Reply)

👊
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 19:49, Reply)
Seen Prodigy out of Mobb Deep has carked it? :(

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 21:10, Reply)
Boo.
That said they were one of the most disappointing US hip hop live shows I saw in t3h 90's
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 21:58, Reply)
and now they've paid the price

(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 1:42, Reply)
I'M LEAVING TO GET SOME "STUFF"

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 18:04, Reply)
4 whole fried chickens and a coke

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 18:04, Reply)

whole fried chickens and a coke WHOLE FRIED CHICKENS AND A COKE
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 18:08, Reply)
can I get a new fork, this one's dirty

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 18:08, Reply)
alright

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 18:17, Reply)
The sign said "Fresh Fried Dognuts"
but I wasn't expecting this.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 18:35, Reply)
But I thought yo forget yo hom to bel air

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 19:01, Reply)
Sorry, I don't speak ebonics.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 19:02, Reply)
I get the impression that McBeef's run out of ideas and has decided to pepper the board with some casual racism instead.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 20:11, Reply)
An atrocious slander.
Mcbeef takes his racism very seriously indeed.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 20:37, Reply)
I stand by my earlier statement.
I would argue that McBeef's command of racism is so instinctive that any expression of it can afford to be merely casual, without too much thought as to the consequences.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 20:41, Reply)
^

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 21:59, Reply)
When those awful young African-American criminals refer to themselves and each other by the "n epithet" as part of their everyday conversation like what I've seen on the telly?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 22:38, Reply)
He's not even in my Top 10 racists.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 23:31, Reply)
in b4 mcbeef

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:56, Reply)
DAMN YOU

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:01, Reply)
can't beat a lvl 8 atheist m8

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:03, Reply)
:(

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:10, Reply)
You passed your level 8 grading??
Congratulations brother!
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:26, Reply)
Cheers

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:33, Reply)
and then there's me, re-sitting level 5 :(

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:44, Reply)
praying for you hun x

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:48, Reply)
some people just learn differently

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:38, Reply)
in what?
just kidding, i don't care.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:10, Reply)

b4
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:11, Reply)
woah

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:17, Reply)
[serious] Guitarists of reddit, when you play slide, which finger do you use?
I always used to use my ring finger but my new slide is too slim for that so it's either little finger or get a new slide. There's no right or wrong way to do this it seems, as different guitarists favour different fingers.

lol fingers
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:13, Reply)
lol fat fingers

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:15, Reply)
Fuck it, bought another one - panic over, guy's

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:16, Reply)
Surely getting a slightly wider slide is easier than changing your entire technique.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:16, Reply)
That's the conclusion I've come to.
I'm not re-learning something to save £4.99
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:19, Reply)
The thing is, though, I think you'd have more playing options if all the other fingers were free
I barely use my little finger when I play
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:21, Reply)
this is really fucking dull isn't it

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:22, Reply)
Did you ask doctors to set your fingers that way after the fire in your caravan?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:25, Reply)
I'm afraid this one goes right over my head

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:38, Reply)
Django Reinhardt, innit.
He was in a caravan fire when still a teenager and lost the use of the third and fourth fingers on his left hand. He asked the doctors to repair his index and middle fingers in a position that would still let him play the guitar.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:40, Reply)
Ah yes, I did know that story apart from the caravan bit
My wife is v keen on his work
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:45, Reply)
My dad was a big fan of his work with Stéphane Grappelli.
I liked that spaghetti western that was based on his life story.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:51, Reply)
I use my ring (lol) finger, then I can use my forefinger (strikethrough skin) for muting
hth x
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:27, Reply)
That was always how I did it (lol 'did it'), not enough control from my little finger (lol finger)

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:39, Reply)
I use my penus and helmit

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:39, Reply)
Ah, the ol' 'Kentucky pelmit slide'

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:40, Reply)
when i play on a slide, i usually use my whole body

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:49, Reply)
little finger
so I can still fret with three fingers on the non-slidey bits
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 22:52, Reply)
Pub time innit

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:13, Reply)
good point, mongy

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:14, Reply)
i just took a temperature reading and it says 35.2c in my back garden, i need refreshment

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:17, Reply)
My desk is 33°C right now.
Using my laser temperature gun woke my cat up, as it's usually a toy for him, but he's too hot to play with it today.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:19, Reply)
ive got one of these that i forgot to hand back when i left some company, about 150 quids worth
www.supco.com/web/supco_live/products/IAQ55.html
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:22, Reply)
That's a noicer piece of kit than my one.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:30, Reply)
seriously? kinell

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:20, Reply)
yer mon, i feel sorry for my AC engineer mates, they will be run ragged doing breakdowns, boiler lads will be doing fuck all

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:25, Reply)
Good luck on the tube
imgur.com/a/aVqwU
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:39, Reply)
lol gutted

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:41, Reply)
The Central Line is the worst
Still not going to be fun on the Northern. At least I'm overground for the first five stops of my journey
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:43, Reply)
I would love to sink a few

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:17, Reply)
^^^^^^

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:20, Reply)
I am having an ice cold Heineken the second I get on the tube

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:19, Reply)
^illegal

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:24, Reply)
I'm a face round here m8, no one would dare say anything

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:25, Reply)
ummmmmmmm, I'm telling

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:27, Reply)
"hey, it's that guy off the internet, you know?"
they will say when you slurp a cold one
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:29, Reply)
"last time we stopped him, he just sat there and shit himself. Ain't worth the agro"

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:33, Reply)
"i sat down in it at brighton"

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:44, Reply)
Not sure the tube goes to Brighton m8

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:50, Reply)
course it does, come on

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:51, Reply)
wow, really?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:52, Reply)
Yeah, you need to know the secret hack
Southern Rail hate it!
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:53, Reply)
They just silently walk up to me, shake my hand and give me a nod of respect

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:48, Reply)

d sh
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:40, Reply)
Is that to tide you over until you can have a real beer?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:30, Reply)
Yup, as soon as possible I'll have a lovely warm refreshing dark brown heavy ale. Perfect for this weather.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:49, Reply)
i've got a bottle of old peculier sat on the radiator for later

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:52, Reply)
very wise - what I normally do is put a bottle of Ringwood's Old Turdburglar in the pressure cooker for a bit

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:55, Reply)
Gonna sit on the sofa with the duvet, put the heating on, and snuggle down with a hot water bottler

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:57, Reply)
that's right, bottler
The extra 'r' is for 'aaaaaaah, that's lovely and warm'
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:57, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:58, Reply)
nailed it

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:01, Reply)
Stick a couple of Oxo cubes in it for good measure.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:03, Reply)

l
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:08, Reply)
Botter?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:08, Reply)
yeah

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:11, Reply)
I accept that

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:18, Reply)
Thank you

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:19, Reply)
snugge

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:48, Reply)
I've had to stick some of my beers in the fridge,
as the garage is now uncommonly warm.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 16:59, Reply)
I've got something that's uncommonly warm
*points at crotch*
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:25, Reply)
Ooh, smoked sausage!

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:29, Reply)
I never realised a corndog was made with doughnut batter... impressively revolting really.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:34, Reply)
Really? Ugh.
That sounds as bad as that brief fad for using donuts as burger buns.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:41, Reply)
I'd missed that one, thankfully.
The yanks fucked dougnuts up anyway.

I might have to actually go to a steam rally or something just so I can have some proper 'straight out of the fryer' donuts with just a dusting of sugar on them.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 17:47, Reply)
I've improved the way my TV plays all my music albums
and now I can see that I've got a massive load of shit music that I never listen to but feel guilty deleting because if I don't listen to it then I doubt no-one else ever will because it's just so shit. Psapp discography ffs.

What shit are you still clinging on to even though it's really shit?
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:27, Reply)
b3ta
lolololol
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:29, Reply)
do you still care about putting out bins?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:30, Reply)
of course, i'm not a nihilist.
www.dropbox.com/s/6env7vb6eg7e7qw/brb_-_remember_to_put_your_bins_out.mp3?raw=1
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:15, Reply)
needs more moing

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:36, Reply)
not sure if you mean
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=MOing

or

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Moing
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:01, Reply)
Lets help Dave! breach the 500 view threshold
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGuuXbPLtHU&feature=youtu.be
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:18, Reply)
oic. i think. never heard that called a moing before.
but you're chipwronging anyway, clearly i was using a commodore palette rather than nintendo.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:31, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8089077
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:49, Reply)
the feeling that things will improve lol

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:32, Reply)
not sure

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:34, Reply)
life

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:35, Reply)
oh life, oh life, oh life,
Doo, doot doot dooo.
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,
Doo, doot dooo
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:36, Reply)
I'd actually quite like to see a ghost, as it would directly challenge my beliefs on the subject, and force me to rethink the way I see the world
that being said, toast is a crispy solution to early morning hunger
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:37, Reply)
might join you for a round of toast

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:40, Reply)
I think I'd find it kind of reassuring

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:40, Reply)
toast I mean

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:40, Reply)
I think I'm more comforted by the thought of death equalling oblivion,
than I would be by the prospect of roaming the mortal world as a phantom, forced to endure the never ending reality show that is the lives of the living.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:42, Reply)
I reckon the ghost of Chuck Berry is probably using it as an opportunity to watch ladies on the toilet

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:45, Reply)
No question
I bet him and Savile are having a whale of a time
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:46, Reply)
Being intangible must be frustrating, though.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:55, Reply)
oh, no doubt

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:56, Reply)
Serves 'em right, I suppose.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:59, Reply)
as it 'appens as it goes
I hate working with children open brackets unless they'll touch my bellend close brackets
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:15, Reply)
Well it doesn't affect me as I don't plan on leaving

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:46, Reply)
i wouldn't mind being a ghost
if it meant i could fuck with people and put the shits up them
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:41, Reply)
fucken woooOOOOOOoooooo!

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:42, Reply)
not all poncey like that
more poltergeist stuff
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:08, Reply)
This haas is clane

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:09, Reply)
thank you, magic munchkin

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:23, Reply)
what if you got locked into position in the three dimensions
so you'd have to wait a full year for the planet to swing back round and meet up with where your phantasm is floating. 365 days floating in the inky void, then a brief moment where earth hurtles towards you at 10,000mph.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:43, Reply)
But even then our solar system is moving through the galaxy
and the galaxy isn't static due to the expansion of space. So really it's just earth, ploughing through space, leaving behind a cloud of souls like diesel exhaust choking up the universal ether like so much human pollution.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:44, Reply)
Really, if you believe in souls and ghosts, that's what we'd boil down to.
Intergalactic smog.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:44, Reply)
Intergalactic Christ

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:51, Reply)
Alright 'Jas Mann'.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:01, Reply)
alright

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:11, Reply)
My parents bought me a camcorder, when my firstborn arrived.
It was rendered instantly obsolete by mobile phone technology, not to mention the fact that the battery world constantly discharge, so you had to remember to either take it out when you were done, or leave it on charge, so it hardly ever got used.
Probably takes better video than my phone, but I'd need a PC with a FireWire port to retrieve them, and who has that anymore?
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:39, Reply)
My camcorder is still in loft, with god knows what on it
I've not used all the time my kids have been around, so who knows if it even still works
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:48, Reply)
I filled one tape with scenes of my eldest as an infant,
but it's just easier, and more satisfying, to snap a couple of pictures on my phone, than observe his development through a tiny LCD screen.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:55, Reply)
It's people like you two that give concert-goers a bad name.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:00, Reply)
If you didn't watch the gig as an oversaturated blur on your iPhone,
you weren't really there.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:15, Reply)
Totally.
That flat, tinny sound from the speakers really puts you back into the moment.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:17, Reply)
When you die, your kids are going to find it among your personal effects
and they'll pay a professional to recover whatever video is left on it, and that's how they'll learn their mum gave their dad Roman Showers in their childhood paddling pool.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:05, Reply)
Good
That'll teach them to go snooping through my shit
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:12, Reply)
brb
off to record my waggling cock for posterity
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:51, Reply)
pompeyfanpaul says it all
www.portsmouth.co.uk/our-region/havant/dad-angry-with-asda-apology-after-son-chokes-on-stone-at-cafe-1-8015760
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:56, Reply)
he's not wrong

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:01, Reply)
Lee Fry looks like a nutter

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:08, Reply)
There's a bit of a 'going on a march' air about him isn't there?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:11, Reply)
I can't comment in case me and him meet toe to toe

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:15, Reply)
First Brian Harvey and now Tyler Fry, how many more people will have to nearly lose their lives before the government finally takes action against these lethal vegetables

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:16, Reply)
Also a million Irish people if you count them

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:17, Reply)
izzyeckerslike blaming Harvester for someone getting knocked off their bike on the road outside
somewhat undermines their point about ensuring businesses have trained first aiders on site.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:24, Reply)
yes, he seems confused

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:25, Reply)
It should be compulsory for all drivers to have a trained first aider in their car with them at all times.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:28, Reply)
I have a sticker identifying Jesus as my copilot, so I think I'm covered.
If I run someone over, their death is legally considered to be an Act Of God.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:34, Reply)
I don't think that's the first time he's used his son as a compensation mule...

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:38, Reply)
nothing m8
All the shit I cling onto is frickin' way cool
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:08, Reply)
I'm waiting on this from Germany
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DVEX1VWuco

Famously sampled by the Wu-Tang Clan on C.R.E.A.M.

It was *not* cheap
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:13, Reply)
It's no daniel powter bad day though

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:16, Reply)
^ dollar dollar bill, y'all

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:19, Reply)
It's no Soundtrack to St Elmo's Fire though

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:22, Reply)
I can see a new horizon underneath the blazing sky
I'll be where the eagle's flying higher and higher
Gonna be your man in motion
All I need is a pair of wheels
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:24, Reply)
^

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:25, Reply)
*McBeef gets his mack on*

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:23, Reply)
disgusting

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:36, Reply)
My BMW.
Decided I can't be fucked with getting a new car. Found somewhere I can post the footwell module off to be reset for 80 quid so I can have reversing lights again.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:22, Reply)
Or £65
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BMW-FRM3-PL2-Footwell-Module-E70-E84-E87-E92-E90-E91-E93-REPAIR-Service-/182427526036
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:33, Reply)
So if you jump-start a beemer it breaks it?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:37, Reply)
£68 + £11p&p is £80, near enough.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:41, Reply)
show off

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:42, Reply)
I math better than wot I inglish.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:53, Reply)
it's a pity he gets his words all wrong otherwise he could go on Countdown

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:53, Reply)
Put him in a dress and he could replace Rachel Riley

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:20, Reply)
Plus the satisfaction of not paying BMW
(probably some scrote car thief instead though)
(, Wed 21 Jun 2017, 15:31, Reply)
NO WORIES!!!

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:27, Reply)
FFS
just found the appropriate forum for your car, ask about, see if there's someone local. Chances are there's some spod with the right tools down the road who'll do it for a fraction of the price.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:36, Reply)
a broken skull ornament wearing a sailor's hat with titanic on it
i like it.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:37, Reply)

anic
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:40, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:43, Reply)
But what happened to all those teeny terrapins??
Vasile Tudose, 29, of Basin Street, Portsmouth, admitted theft of Kinder Eggs worth £80 from Co-op in Portsmouth on February 21. Magistrates ordered him to pay £80.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:56, Reply)
And Aimee Fraser was fined £80 for stealing £170's worth of food
seems pretty good to me.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:58, Reply)
I can't judge him
only God can do that
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:59, Reply)
amen

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:00, Reply)

youtu.be/H8GjJD826vc
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:02, Reply)
he's no Lonnie Johnson or Duke Ellington

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:07, Reply)
I am, though

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:21, Reply)
u wish m8

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:24, Reply)
I've set up separate Kodi profiles, so the kids can't watch anything rated above a 12,
but I've not bothered separating music in the same way, so there's nothing stopping them listening to something like Derek & Clive, should they bother to go looking for it.

I expect they'll appreciate more than I do, anyway.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:57, Reply)
I need to fiddle with mine and either manually fuck around in python to make exodus work again or install something else because of this trakt bullshit.
Or just search by actor.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:02, Reply)
now, when you say you need to fiddle around with yours.....

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:10, Reply)
I got Specto working fine with trakt

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:21, Reply)
Yeah, it's only bost because the app key has been blocked or is now required. If you edit the .py with a personally generated one then it'll work.
I don't use trakt itself, the fact these plugins seem to depend on it by default is poor imo.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:41, Reply)
your daughter is going to be furious

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:03, Reply)
The video games industry

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:15, Reply)
on the one hand, I'd love to play a massive RPG again
but on the other, I know I'd just be pissing my life away
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:21, Reply)
You are anyway; we all are.
There are only two industries. This has always been true....There is the industry of things, and the industry of entertainment....After people have everything they need to live, everything else is entertainment. Everything.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 15:46, Reply)
doesn't that darren osborne look a bit like that peter serafinowicz?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:39, Reply)
The Hollyoaks character?
No, he doesn't look anything like The Tick.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:50, Reply)
ooh, new the tick, nice
i did not know that.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:55, Reply)
Looking forward to the start of the series proper.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:57, Reply)
Not really, no.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:50, Reply)
Can't see it myself.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:51, Reply)
how she put up with Ozzy for so long I will never know!

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:52, Reply)
"DARUUUN! The dog's done a shit in me slipper."

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:54, Reply)
and yet he seemed like one of the more down-to-earth ones.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:00, Reply)
Yes!*
*No
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:55, Reply)
He looks like Terry Wogan and Stephen Fry had a gay baby
a gayby, if you will
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:57, Reply)
they both look like that
imhhaifto
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:25, Reply)
Serafinowicz had a small part in John Wick 2
which was possibly the only interesting thing about the entire film
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:57, Reply)
not sure

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:00, Reply)
shut up

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:01, Reply)
Dunno who that is soz

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:04, Reply)
actually more like former Gambino crime boss Paul Castellano
www.biography.com/.image/t_share/MTE1ODA0OTcxNDc0Mzg4NDkz/paul-castellano-329028-1-402.jpg
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:09, Reply)
didn't Gotti have him shot?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:40, Reply)
i bet his wife is a right nag
www.kentonline.co.uk/maidstone/news/missing-pensioner-found-in-pub-127531/
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:11, Reply)
the poor bastard can't finish a pint in peace

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:15, Reply)
I reckon there should be pub-themed nursing homes

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:19, Reply)
Westherspoons are missing a trick, they've already got all the old fellas in there

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:24, Reply)
And let's face it they're one step removed from just hooking people up to an alcohol drip and letting them sit in stoic silence.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:42, Reply)
Well this Aldi doesn't have that award winning wine, just a monumental stench of BO

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:20, Reply)
The one in Kingston Crescent (or is it Lidl?) gives me the fucking creeps
See also: Poundworld/Land/Reich
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:24, Reply)
If I go to a Lidl I have to know what I want because I fucking hate walking around it
everyone is so rude and pushy
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:25, Reply)
I like it. Much better than the spatially retarded people who frequent morrisons completely unaware they're dawdling and blocking the aisles right next to some bovine cunt doing exactly the same thing.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 14:02, Reply)
I don't know what you're talking about and I think you should shut your damn mouth

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:23, Reply)


(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 13:27, Reply)
*turns /talk off and back on again*
Hey! You! The flebsteady crew!

Show us what you do, is it gake? Is it true?
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:37, Reply)
You could only ever turn me off, Richard.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:38, Reply)
^gake af

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:39, Reply)
Are you using 'gake' to mean 'fake and gay'
or it is a cake made out of gack?
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:39, Reply)
don't ask me m8
It's not a word of my creation
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:40, Reply)
^teh pea roast

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:59, Reply)
Not a witting one, guv'nor.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:00, Reply)
well at best it's t3h glasscock

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:27, Reply)
Gaykakke

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:19, Reply)
I'm a winner. Trufax

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:40, Reply)
Bring back Ceefax.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:43, Reply)
they said it was going to be sunny, it's not sunny, i want my money back

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:46, Reply)
yeah it's just muggy up here in Finchley

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:47, Reply)
I'm hoping it burns off

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:04, Reply)
I wish I could do
a so solid poo
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:47, Reply)
I don't think I'd like my shits to be over in 21 seconds.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:47, Reply)
The amount of red wine I drink, most of mine are 10 seconds max
They're more 'power-sharts' than stools
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:49, Reply)
For me red wine is like shitting sticky coal.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:51, Reply)
I'm going shopping for this later
www.express.co.uk/life-style/food/819134/Aldi-premium-red-wine-Decanter-World-Wine-Awards-gold-medal-winner
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:27, Reply)
I'll keep an eye out. My Mum texted me yesterday to tip me off on their £6 Malbec, as it happens.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:31, Reply)
Their French Malbec isn't great - but it's only £4.50 so no surprises there

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:44, Reply)
oh yeah?
well YOU'RE a superb fruit with a lovely purity of eucalyptus and garrigue with tarry, toasted oak in support – inky, dark and intense with structured tannins
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:55, Reply)
*blushes*
Thanks m8, so are you xxx
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:06, Reply)
I do
I want it to be like returning a book to a library. Walk up to the place, drop trou, smile, stamp, and I'm done.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:50, Reply)
I saw Princess Nokia on Sunday, who was rather annoyed that rather than the "young people of colour" she was used to performing in front of, she was presented with a warehouse full of bearded white men over 40

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:49, Reply)
Never 'eard of 'er

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:50, Reply)
course you haven't, she was born after you stopped listening to new music

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:52, Reply)
she was part of the original Flip-phone Squad

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:54, Reply)
She was in the pay as u go cartel.
Which clearly, as tangles has pointed out, is wishing to distance itself from the pay as you earn cartel.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:55, Reply)
She actually said that?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:55, Reply)
i'm assuming not

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:57, Reply)
a poo ming snot, more like

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:57, Reply)
the bit in quotes, yes
and something about how y'all better show her some respect instead of making her feel as though she was being "gawked at"
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:01, Reply)
what a fucking chore

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:04, Reply)
yeah, I didn't stick around for the whole set

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:05, Reply)
Rude.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:22, Reply)
How do you stand on a stage in front of people and NOT feel like you're being gawked at?

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:05, Reply)

r d
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:12, Reply)
Brilliant

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:04, Reply)
just googled her
did she punch you in the face?
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:56, Reply)
not me personally, but she did seem to be pretty pissed off with just about everyone, including her dj

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:02, Reply)
sounds shit
never ever go again
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:04, Reply)
Nah, he should go one more time
She might've been having an off night. Or on the blob.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:05, Reply)
hahaha she just wanted a length i bet!

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:12, Reply)
Haha probably
Go on Tangs, give 'er one from me! hahaha I love this sort of thing
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:16, Reply)
Epic bantz, you guys!

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:28, Reply)
I'm only ever watching white people perform from now on

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:06, Reply)
good

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:12, Reply)

nostalgiacentral.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/bwminstresl12.jpg
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:13, Reply)
oh

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:17, Reply)
Two words, m8: Tits

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:58, Reply)
In a word: lol gud 1 m8

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:19, Reply)
Erm...that's three words and one number m8
made a bit of a fool of yourself there
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:29, Reply)
well if we're being pedantic, the word is 'tit's' ffs

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:45, Reply)
^projecting

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:04, Reply)

ing Richard IN FULL EFFECT
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:07, Reply)
see you at the bash, m8!

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 10:58, Reply)
it's gonnna be off da hook!

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:19, Reply)
lucky bastards

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:26, Reply)
u so jel

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:29, Reply)
oh MAN!
abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/hidden-trove-suspected-nazi-artifacts-found-argentina-48145123
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 11:50, Reply)
As soon as I saw this this morning, I thought of you.
I bet you've already booked your flight to Argentina.
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:04, Reply)
The cash I acquired from my grandmother isn't going to last long

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:06, Reply)
whereas the rash I got from your grandmother still itches weeks later :(

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:08, Reply)
Just put on your David Irving costume and say you need to take all this stuff for historical research.

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:24, Reply)
good thinking

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:29, Reply)
I think this discovery is one of the coolest things ever
Just look at it all

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gl_mywSi4uk&feature=youtu.be
(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:31, Reply)
i like the nazi cat

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:42, Reply)
It's the sword I want most

(, Tue 20 Jun 2017, 12:53, Reply)

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