You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search

wanky manky bum bums

(, Sun 20 Apr 2014, 2:22, Reply)
evening
g h
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 20:30, Reply)
alright rich

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 20:35, Reply)
Dave

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 20:36, Reply)
bob

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 20:40, Reply)
anything good on the telly?

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 20:51, Reply)
no idea
maybe something with a bit of tit of channel 4.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:05, Reply)
red triangle
*flashback*
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 22:36, Reply)
waddup?

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 20:38, Reply)
alright heine, anything good on the telly?

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:01, Reply)
oioi

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 20:40, Reply)
hiya h.b, anything on the telly good?

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:03, Reply)
nope!
unless you like Toy Story 2. Good fishing today?
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:09, Reply)
nah it is dead down there, spawning time i reckon, seems early but it is a funny lake because it is deep

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:26, Reply)
LAICHZEIT
ah well, better luck next time. When's the live stream happening?
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:36, Reply)
got one out, shows I'm doing it right, traveling too light for laptops

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:45, Reply)
I know something else whats funny and deep

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:40, Reply)
your mum?

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:41, Reply)
Aw, that's not very nice.
I was thinking more along the lines of philosophical comedy.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:46, Reply)
plato the clown?

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:52, Reply)
that's the one!
'Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to yer mam.'
plato the clown
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 22:05, Reply)
If I fuck your mum and nobody hears her queefs
did I get laid?
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 22:03, Reply)
in space there is no queef

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 22:11, Reply)
and get off my mam you doss cunt
:D
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 22:13, Reply)

what is a doss cunt?
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 23:39, Reply)
Scottish slur from the Trainspotting era
so when Scotland fucks off as an independent nation, does that mean they'll have to teach Scottish to kids in schools? Like how they teach them French and German?
(, Sun 20 Apr 2014, 2:20, Reply)
BUMHOLES

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 15:13, Reply)
prick

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 15:14, Reply)
wanker
Alright mofahahahaha
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 15:22, Reply)
just the one fish, nice looking, 18lb, be stunning when it tops 30lb
www.b3tards.com/u/57cc9a3be7d0f074d018/fissssss.jpg
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 15:27, Reply)
I'd be happy to gut that and stuff it

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 15:33, Reply)
my watch stopped, would you like to pick a country and timezone for the 4th hand?

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 16:16, Reply)
i choose sydney for nipples, :,(

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 17:26, Reply)
Mongy, Noncordial owes me a debt, SpanishFly owes Nonceordial a debt. In light of Noncordial's disapearance, SpanishFly owes me two score.
Want a finder's fee? 50% and its yours.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 19:19, Reply)
i dont even gonz honest

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 19:25, Reply)
Sad Times, never thought you'd turn down a job, you've changed since you've retired man.

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 19:45, Reply)
i might get a curry

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 19:50, Reply)
WAAAUUUU

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:47, Reply)
I miss nips
how is he?
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 21:42, Reply)
Jesus would turn in his grave if he knew that this is what it's come to

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 15:31, Reply)
fuck off

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 15:33, Reply)
Not very christian

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 15:36, Reply)
WUUUUAAAAA

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 16:05, Reply)
MORning

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:26, Reply)
I'm firing up the pizza oven later.
Today is a day for mega dough catering. Gluten intolerants flee for your gutlives.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:46, Reply)
I never asked you about any of that dull bollocks.
I'd appreciate it if you kept that sort of thing to yourself in future.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:52, Reply)
smyls

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:54, Reply)

g c
+e
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 14:13, Reply)
yerr ... like I'm going to work out a strike through on a four day weekend when I had Cinzano for breakfast

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 15:11, Reply)
Morning
Another fine sunny Saturday to spend at work sweating in a suit like Jill Dando trying to get her key in the front door.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 9:01, Reply)
TOPICAL

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 10:29, Reply)
This place would be dead on its arse if it weren't for this up-to-the-minute topical satire.

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:50, Reply)
mormin brb
Are you well ??
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 11:15, Reply)
yeah

(, Sun 20 Apr 2014, 2:20, Reply)
HELlo

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 15:07, Reply)
On the matter of assliquor
Best to not do that. I can't find it.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 4:22, Reply)
hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:25, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 2:37, Reply)
Dvstn

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 8:47, Reply)
hello?

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 0:30, Reply)
hello?..

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 0:32, Reply)
echo...

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 0:35, Reply)
...echo

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 0:35, Reply)
alright you fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggot

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:00, Reply)
bit harsh
alright
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:13, Reply)
4/10
But needy you spaz
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:17, Reply)
Should ask the Doveston to rate your responses
It seems he sucks everyone off that posts here more than twice a day. Possibly because the number correlates to the amount of times he's fucked a girl. I dunno
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:18, Reply)
alright fucksocks
how's your nose, ears and throat?
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:20, Reply)
hey what's for breakfast

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 1:48, Reply)
i'm having mashed potato, baked beans and suasages
RIGHT NOW. it's lovely. i prolly wont eat again til much later so hopefully this counts as both tomorrows breakfast aswell as tonights tea.
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 2:11, Reply)
hey! radio three is actually kinda cool!

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 2:24, Reply)
and jimi is on the telly!

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 2:44, Reply)
maybe humanity is not so fukt after all!
oh...
(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 2:46, Reply)
where the fuck is dannyjock?
I miss the ugly fat bearded wankshaft.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:01, Reply)
apparently yaya toure
Is a bit racist
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:02, Reply)
this place would be dead on its arse if you stopped posting

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:45, Reply)
HEY cunt
FFS dude
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:02, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7728276
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:05, Reply)
Who's that The LOVELY Span Eff?
I left Pub early, there was hardly anyone out.
So, Pizza, HOMEBOOZE and internet for me :D. Might Skyrim for a bit soon.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:14, Reply)
stuuuuj <3

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:26, Reply)
The LOVELY Vady!
:D
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:54, Reply)
alright the LOVELY stuj
been pub had a meal with the female spanish effs shes now gone out on the town i am boozing and playing poker.

Come round bro
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:58, Reply)
resyk

(, Sat 19 Apr 2014, 0:26, Reply)
New bank holiday thread time?
Shall we have an early pun thread?

Cars mixed with household cleaning products

GO!
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:32, Reply)
Mazda MRbleach

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:38, Reply)
go fuck yourself

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:40, Reply)
Haha classic derogatory fuckglove Doveston
Neurotic shite post.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:55, Reply)
bit needy

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:25, Reply)
I didn't want to call him that but glad you got it out there
Cheers SSG you septic bellend
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:26, Reply)
sympathy reply

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:26, Reply)
Sympathy reply

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:27, Reply)
Ever thought the things you type get a bit...
...worn?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:27, Reply)
sympathy reply

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:31, Reply)
Sympathy response

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 20:14, Reply)
Ford Cilit Bang

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:42, Reply)
Citroen Fairy Liquid

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:42, Reply)
VW Brasso

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:43, Reply)
Haha brasso!
Reminds me of my dead blind raped nan
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 20:36, Reply)
Vauxhall Mr Muscle

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:45, Reply)
what was your original username?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:52, Reply)
Why?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:56, Reply)
it was mortal wombat

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:05, Reply)
Alright nonchalant narcissist
You ok?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:25, Reply)
Ok, thanks.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:26, Reply)
Mofaha

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:56, Reply)
Donkey raping shit eating fuck faced spastic shit cunt
rob had to make a special exception to have such a long username
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:09, Reply)
Rob doesn't even know who I am
That's like saying god loves us all you spastic cunt
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:24, Reply)

haha classic pasanonic
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:27, Reply)
Sony...
I mean sorry
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:28, Reply)
hexachordal

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:18, Reply)
yeah, this one

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:20, Reply)
I owe that guy money

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:24, Reply)

how much does he charge for guaranteed torn sphincter these days?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:29, Reply)
It depends.
The Doveston costs 5, SSG 12, a rapist like me gets it for 3.50
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:31, Reply)

that's an aggressive pricing scheme
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:33, Reply)
Almost a ponzi pansy scheme

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 20:15, Reply)
That guy owes me two score, so you can pay me.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 21:37, Reply)
fuck off Tim stilton

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:00, Reply)
Gin in a tin
Alt: gin in a tin.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:01, Reply)
Mongy, I'll give you 50% to collect it for me.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:00, Reply)
Mongy will be too busy fucking fish brains right now
Balls deep in the head of a dead fish
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 22:21, Reply)
eat a cunt full of arse eggs

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:09, Reply)
Hey alright new person
Have you got wine and a kebab yet you spoon licking fruit bat?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:26, Reply)
red hatchback window cleaner

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:12, Reply)

toyota sponge
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:25, Reply)
Toyota toilet duck

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:27, Reply)
Porsche Parazone

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:29, Reply)
lamborghini windolene

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 21:22, Reply)
ferrari dove moisturising gentle hand cleaner

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 21:23, Reply)
aston martin jeyes fluid

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 21:26, Reply)
MASSIVE FUCKING BONFIRE RARRRGH!

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:14, Reply)
WHERE WHERE???
Are you sure its not a forest fire?

*runs to the hills*
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:22, Reply)
Run for your liffeeeee

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:26, Reply)
alright bumless
Plans?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:30, Reply)
working till 3 then im not sure
Fucking working tomorrow as well. Might have to head in with a stinking hangover. You?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:46, Reply)
going out for afternoon dinner and a few drinks in the SSSSSSUUUUNNNNSSHIIIIIIIIIIINE
Just get pissed and worry about work tomorrow, if you can hide in work then I wouldn't worry about it, or call in sick say you drank 1000 yakults and woke up made entirely of light
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 12:00, Reply)
I don't have a forest in my veg plot. Prolly a bit excessive.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 12:05, Reply)
Make sure it stays away from 2nd hand sheds with epdm roofs
that fucker will smoke like a bastard
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:40, Reply)
I love the smell of burning rubber.
Said your mum.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 12:04, Reply)
captain placid likes epdm

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 16:34, Reply)
BIG MASSIVE FUCKING DRUGS RARRRGH!

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 12:48, Reply)
not today thank you I need to mow the lawns and clear some hedges but than you for your kind offer kiss kiss bye bye

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 13:06, Reply)
Why drugs are you consuming?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 16:08, Reply)
do you now know how joan of arc felt?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 17:10, Reply)
Did she feel
Dead?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 17:54, Reply)
Crispy.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:09, Reply)
terrible!

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 18:22, Reply)
yeah
assuming she'd just spent the day digging up bushes and burning them at the bottom of her suburban garden
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 19:07, Reply)
friday morning joke then i'm off for brekkers
i bought venison sausages last night, they were deer! haha geddit?

have a smashing day, toodle pip
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:08, Reply)
Morning
Which of you other poor sods are at work like me?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:58, Reply)
I have been off for the past 2 weeks
It's getting a bit boring now. Enjoy work though
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 10:26, Reply)
Bastardo spanisho flyo

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:27, Reply)
seriously its like going stir crazy a bit
Fun for the first week, but then it got a bit....samey
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:32, Reply)
Yeah I know the feeling
When I was off for like a year I was just dying to get back to fucking work.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:47, Reply)
WERE THE STEAKS HIGH????
Hahaha, meat puns,they never get old. Or should I say, "they never get mutton", hahahaaha
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 10:15, Reply)
That was a right rib tickler

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 10:26, Reply)
Haha, good one.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 10:38, Reply)
I got a great deal on on some veal sausages
They were calf price
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:06, Reply)
YES !

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 11:11, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 7:26, Reply)
mirnung
nuff respec'
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 7:46, Reply)
where is everyone?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 7:49, Reply)
Bank Holiday, so we've all got better things to do.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 7:53, Reply)
and there's me on my daily commute as normal :-(

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 7:55, Reply)
Bad luck.
I'm sat in bed, whilst the wife and kids feed me homemade muffins.
Still, you probably have a very important job to do, so that's something.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:12, Reply)
and we are going to the pub at lunch
Finishing early.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:16, Reply)
I do so love a happy ending.

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:26, Reply)
Anyone got any interesting plans for bank holiday?

(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 10:41, Reply)

it was very quiet last night too, maybe it's time to have just one board
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 8:02, Reply)
Red Dwarf series 1
Just starting now on Dave.

Well that's me sorted until 6am, and I don't even have any MASSIVE DRUGS tonight
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 1:48, Reply)
RED DWARF IS SHIT
Craig Charles makes my skin creep. Sick pervo drug taking skank. But being Scouse it's never his fault
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 23:04, Reply)
looks like /talk is just for me and my dog,
it's too whappley for crows.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 0:51, Reply)
alright MGT
I am the resident nonce, what you up to you illiterate spaz?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 0:53, Reply)
drinking vanilla vodka and awaiting the return of the Spacefish
how about you?
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 0:54, Reply)
Drinking wine with the missus and watching a very old episode of
the Royle Family. What ever happened to Ralph Little hey? He is a right cunt and I used to see the goo nearer rat faced pocket cock guzzling chuff whore in my home town
(, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 1:36, Reply)
Where is my live from the lake update?

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:27, Reply)
wut?

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:28, Reply)
You heard
heard read
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:31, Reply)
soz
it's quiet by the lake, just lots of cigar shaped goose shit
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:33, Reply)
that's just what a gay paedo nonce would say

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:35, Reply)
fuck a norse

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:38, Reply)
That would be an Ulrika moment

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:41, Reply)
i'd still like to destroy every hole even though she's looking worn these days

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:43, Reply)
I would have about 15 years ago nowadays I'd Ragnarok

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:45, Reply)
and she'd be grateful

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:48, Reply)
She should be so Loki, Loki ,Loki

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:49, Reply)
haha
i bet you'd make her thor! ahahahahhhaahahahahhaa!!!
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:50, Reply)
Maybe she should just Frigg herself instead

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:52, Reply)
maybe you could freya good an' proper like

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:56, Reply)
That would make her Mjölnir

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:57, Reply)
hunter was glad he ate her!!!111!!! ahahahahahahahahahahhahahaaaahah!!!

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:50, Reply)
I bet she don't Call him anymore
Call him anymore Collymore
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:54, Reply)
she went to an offy and asked for carlsberg
the shopkeeper said "we've run out, will carling do?"

AHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA etc

oh wait that might have been diana
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 22:59, Reply)
then fred west said "ooooo i could murder some tenants"
more ahaha etc
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:00, Reply)
Made me laugh anyway
Are we the only cunts on here?
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:00, Reply)
looks that way
first ten members of the only cunts here club get a free badge and activity set
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:10, Reply)
Well fuck that then I'm off to bed

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:11, Reply)
night
edit - NONE TAKEN
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:12, Reply)
somebody pulled the plug on it

(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 23:15, Reply)

Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search