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I'm out of lager and into the rum now. Have some KAWAIIII Punk (Misfits, Ramones Black Flag in ONE BAND!)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jJliZupxLY
Oh yeah, I mentioned RUM, didn't I? DRINK!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=f55CqLc6IR0
DRINK!
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 2:20, Reply)
I am into some blue shit my bird has put in the cupboard in my kitchen.
She's got the day off tomorrow I haven't, but wait...if it's in MY kitchen then that makes it MINE right?
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 2:22, Reply)
i just wanted to share a gif with you xxx
i.imgur.com/SWLhUXH.gif
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:10, Reply)
Mortal wombat checking in

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:50, Reply)
I knew you reminded me of someone

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:58, Reply)
Is it because I am crushingly dull?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:17, Reply)
Yes, and a bit nonce-y

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:40, Reply)
Not just a bit bro.
Get your fucking facts right man if your gonna start slingin la
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 1:33, Reply)
What do Richard Hammond and elton John have in common?
They both have skid marks on their helmets.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:54, Reply)
that's the sexies thing I've ever seen

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:13, Reply)
Sexies like the seventies?

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:18, Reply)
Learn how to spell Spesh

(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:18, Reply)
Gets a bit of his own Dr shambollocks
And runs and hides. Cunt.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 1:34, Reply)
Can I just leave this here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ17okFI-WI

I like Steve and everything he's doing here.
(, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 0:43, Reply)
Does anyone keep a /board fail archive?
I'm pretty sure this impressive backpedalling deserves a mention, if they do.
www.b3ta.com/board/11095376#post11095388
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:14, Reply)
Yes I do

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:18, Reply)
Hang on, no I don't soz

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:18, Reply)
thanks anyway, hunni xxx

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:19, Reply)
No probs love you xxx

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:00, Reply)
awww

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:19, Reply)
What the fuck are you going on about?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:22, Reply)
words on a screen, or something

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:23, Reply)
what bit do I wank to?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:28, Reply)
non fictional child abuse is okay, I think

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:33, Reply)
Toast is a prick and encapsulated the death of /board and enhanced it

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:35, Reply)
MODS!

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:37, Reply)
that fucking Clan Soul / whatever the fuck he was called killed it stone dead for me
Psychedelic Warlord?
Along with the general unpleasant behaviour around the deaths of friends.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:42, Reply)
It was the hijacking of deaths of friends for make benefit of glorious charity
that killed it for me.

Each to their own though, eh?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:46, Reply)
what was that?
I don't know if I noticed. You mean Jahled and cat sanctuary stuff?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:48, Reply)
Pretty much, yeah.
Last London bash I went to became all too embarrassingly about bidding for stuff for the cat charity, the whole meeting-up-with/remembering friends things seemed to be jettisoned at the door.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:54, Reply)
I wasn't even referring to Nina
I was thinking of Jonathan. But yeah. I have a lot to say about *** and organisation/thought.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:58, Reply)
I think we are now re-hashing drunken conversations we had 5 years ago in a pub toilet.
I love the internet.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:09, Reply)
but without the coke and the cock sucking

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:10, Reply)
lol ur doin it rong

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 23:19, Reply)
Does anyone on here have any experience of design for 3D printing?
And fancy earning a few quid?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:59, Reply)
The second part, aye.
The first. No idea.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:02, Reply)
JMG

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:43, Reply)
JMG!
Word to everyone's moms.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:50, Reply)
Howay!

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:30, Reply)
ian botham's footpenis

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:42, Reply)
"Banter"

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:04, Reply)
well i write the software for it
why?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:04, Reply)
shut up MGT

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:50, Reply)
I'll do it for £900,000

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:09, Reply)
I'll do it for £899,999

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:15, Reply)
fuck!

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:24, Reply)
can't compete, I'm out :(

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:24, Reply)
I'll do it for £10 plus expenses
which will be 899,999.99
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:57, Reply)
buying this?
www.watchtime.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/48_jaeger_lecoultre_hybris.jpg
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:00, Reply)
I'll buy it for you

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 21:20, Reply)
Yup to both, hire me, I'm good at this shit and will in no way spunk the money on inappropriate things

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:09, Reply)
You've got some fucking nerve asking me that
Go on, fuck off. And take your 3D cock with you
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:31, Reply)
I've heard of it if that counts.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:49, Reply)
^ typical gp

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:57, Reply)
Write a prescription for it
and then when I phone up to query it because it doesn't make sense, your receptionist can go "I dunno lol"
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:03, Reply)
I'm afraid I can't prescribe that because the CCG won't let me and anyway you've had your ten minutes so fuck off

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:12, Reply)
read that as pinting, so I'm disapoint a bit now

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:50, Reply)
What mongy is trying to say is that he's a massive disappointment.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:58, Reply)
not enough adversity in my life I suppose

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:19, Reply)
yeah ok

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:11, Reply)
not a single gaz, you can't be in that much of a hurry

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:40, Reply)
It's a doddle
Put some red ink highlighter on the left side of all the objects in the print
then put some blue ink highlighter on the right side

that'll be 200 please
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:15, Reply)
yes and yes

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:40, Reply)
No, because I'm not a home-jewellery making idiot
fuck off with your idiotic plastic rubbish
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 20:53, Reply)
I have a faded photo of Vera Lynn if that's any help?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 21:26, Reply)
I can help

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 21:36, Reply)
Yeah
I'm designing a Cyvasse board and pieces at the minute, so I've done a bit of looking into it
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 22:15, Reply)
anybody fancy a snog?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:11, Reply)
pederast

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:12, Reply)
Boy, do I?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:12, Reply)
Can you answer a question with a question?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:15, Reply)
Can you?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:18, Reply)
Hope this finds you well?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:23, Reply)
What do you reckon?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:46, Reply)
How's your bumhole this afternoon?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:54, Reply)
not if it's a rhetorical question

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 19:05, Reply)
Sure.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:15, Reply)
OH BOY!

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:25, Reply)
no thanks
our beards would velcro together
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:21, Reply)
with sexy results

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:25, Reply)
Does everyone here have beards? Or just the women?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:37, Reply)
fucking
bearded hipster cunts

I hope they burn their faces off in a horror birthday cake accident
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:59, Reply)
^ can't grow a beard

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:20, Reply)
ignore Baggenfock
His mother's been a beard for years. It's a sore point.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:20, Reply)

I'll give them this
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:30, Reply)
between the butt cheeks, please.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:34, Reply)
up yours, dickface

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 17:49, Reply)
Snog as in the bent frozen yoghurt emporium? Bit gay m8, I'd rather kiss a man.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:04, Reply)
dunno what that is soz ... sounds like something only a bender would know about

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:07, Reply)
Maybe it's only in London, you might not know about it because you live in Slough with a pizza oven or something I dunno I only skim read stuff tbh

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:09, Reply)
everybody in London is a bender

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:11, Reply)
Even if you only work there?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:13, Reply)
closet benders

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:14, Reply)
Shit, better re-evaluate my entire lifestyle

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:15, Reply)
I think you'd better.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:17, Reply)
:(

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:18, Reply)
Jesus do you take me for some kind of TART?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 18:44, Reply)
he's a snake, a gay snake, not to be trusted

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:58, Reply)
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:03, Reply)

gay meat
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:04, Reply)
meaty

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:09, Reply)
Not many white faces amongst that lot but worth considering.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:11, Reply)
a well grounded transfer policy, that one

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:51, Reply)
Liverpool have just agreed a fee for Mario Balotelli.
Negotiations are ongoing
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Well that was an experience.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:12, Reply)
Go on, fat Phil. Nothing like a Jew that sees money slipping through his fingers

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:16, Reply)

youtu.be/T_ZBqpEUbik
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:29, Reply)
there's enough dogs in cardiff for us all to go around

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:31, Reply)
^Dog Fingerer
wa waaaa wa
He's the man, the man with the canine touch
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:38, Reply)
i was merely quoting
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/08/21/malky-mackay-iain-moody_n_5697030.html
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:41, Reply)
aaah, i see. I'm not really up to date with the news. despite spending all day fucking around on the internet.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:10, Reply)
my office is full of dogs, so he ain't wrong

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:52, Reply)

office dog
dogs fingers
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:55, Reply)

dog hovercraft
fingers eels
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:58, Reply)
zany

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:06, Reply)
i'm mad, me

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:08, Reply)

imgs.sfgate.com/blogs/images/sfgate/pets/2011/06/24/dogwork2.jpg
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:55, Reply)
well they can't play cards all the time

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:58, Reply)
I share the pain of the two terriers

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:01, Reply)
I count 3

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 15:19, Reply)
By jungle law, the Ghost Who Walks calls forth the power of two terriers.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 16:37, Reply)
are you ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssure?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:04, Reply)
I think someone in our department will be made redundant in a few months at this rate.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:13, Reply)
my place put an advert up for voluntary redundancy and they were massively oversubscribed

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:17, Reply)
This place has been appealing for people to take VR for the last 3 years
when this fails they just switch to firing everyone.

The morale here, as you can imagine, is vibrant.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:22, Reply)
I heard he was romantically involved with ian botham's footpenis

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:20, Reply)
ok

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:20, Reply)
ouroboros

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:48, Reply)
is it you that always posts references to Red Dwarf?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 15:34, Reply)
It's been one week since you looked at me!
Just kidding, it's been ages.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:02, Reply)
not any more!
honk
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:06, Reply)
That's my face.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:07, Reply)
sounds like a gameshow

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:18, Reply)
People enter rooms with mirrors or sheet glass, behind the sheet glass are people that are dressed similarly or look similar to the contestant.
The contestant must shout "THAT'S MY FACE" when they go into the room with the standard mirror rather than the sheet of glass.

The winner is awarded a soybean preserved in a block of perspex.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:25, Reply)
ok, i think we have our pitch
onwards... to the studio!
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:31, Reply)
now we just need a host.
Why don't we encourage one of the people from All Saints to do it?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:40, Reply)
Des O'connor?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:44, Reply)
MY FAVOURITE ALL SAINT

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:46, Reply)
posh saint, baby saint, scary saint, sport saint and des o'connor saint

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:21, Reply)
take your pick

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:28, Reply)
aight gosh?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:10, Reply)
Hello Glovella

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:21, Reply)
hello. Bad news, I have to stay here till the end of the day
there is no jesus, I'm not in the pub being paid for it.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:35, Reply)
There are 10,000 herons in Beijing
and they all own pushbikes.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:37, Reply)
thats a fact, It's a thing you can't deny

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:45, Reply)
I ent never looked at you
Except that one time
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:27, Reply)
My face is a distraction from my heart...
it's not really, my face is what is on the front of my head.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:28, Reply)
that was the front?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:31, Reply)
I don't shave very much
and I really should put an end to eating chocolate so aggressively.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:34, Reply)
Stamping on it beforehand is a tad unnecessary

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:10, Reply)

truthfrequencyradio.com/man-arrested-after-jars-and-jars-of-human-penises-discovered-in-his-apartment/
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:45, Reply)
a lot of cocks

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:46, Reply)
it's a protest for penal reform

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:07, Reply)
har de har har

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:22, Reply)
I thought so too

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:23, Reply)
i wasn't going to say anything but i know you get a bit pouty if your jokes go unacknowledged

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:28, Reply)
not only that, but it kind of keeps things moving and makes the page not look quite so dead on its arse.
alt: Thanks for your suppport, it means a lot.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:31, Reply)
We are kings

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:52, Reply)
gmos in the motherfucking hmos

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:57, Reply)
that's true.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 14:09, Reply)
morning
How the fuck are you?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 6:45, Reply)
pricks

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 7:24, Reply)
wagner

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 7:37, Reply)
bix

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:53, Reply)
thats private soz

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 7:46, Reply)
sounds like a shit 1980s sitcom

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 7:47, Reply)
k

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:00, Reply)
meaty

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 7:48, Reply)
h

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:01, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 7:52, Reply)
Gay as a window.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:07, Reply)
Not really, fuck a horse

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:08, Reply)
Ooh, what a gay day!
Shut that door, etc!
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:00, Reply)
Chess mi!

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:01, Reply)
Ooh, erm....OOH! I've come over a little queer!

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:12, Reply)
morning
slightly hungry, a little tired, and about to squeeze out some bum rubbish.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:32, Reply)
eugh, it was a fucking mess

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:59, Reply)
better out than in
are you planning on starting any fires today?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:04, Reply)
Not today, looks like a paid day off at the pub for me and the lads.
Turbulance with our contracotrs financially it would seem. I'll let you know when I gather more information. fingers crossed cos its a fine day to be pubbing :D
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:25, Reply)
winning already and it's not even 9:30

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:27, Reply)
fuck you, ya jinxed it, i'm still here. But hoping i won't be here by half 11.
Cummon jesus, if there's any time to prove the doubters wrong, it's now

PRAISE JESUS!!
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:51, Reply)
Hey, that's not nice, you workshy fop

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:01, Reply)
Its a no brainer, work at work and be paid, or go to the pub and get paid.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:04, Reply)
morning mr horrible
all good thanks, and you?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:37, Reply)
morning
unmotivated and disinterested
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:38, Reply)
sounds like a shit 1980s cop show

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:39, Reply)
the first series was alright but it tailed off after that

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:52, Reply)
Morning
GCSE results day innit
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:40, Reply)
I'm sure you'll do very well, love.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 8:43, Reply)
5 GCSE's grades C-F I reckon, the rest ungraded.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:00, Reply)
it's something like 25% get an A these days
I'm not sure you can get a U unless you scrawl a swastika on your paper and then fuck it while screaming Bei Mir Bistu Shein
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:07, Reply)
that's how I got most of mine, although I'm sure the German would get a grade now

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:09, Reply)
It used to be Deutschland Uber Alles
But they're more lenient than they used to be. THANKS, BRUSSELS!
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:09, Reply)
Only things I didn't get A* in were english language and latin.
Fucking stupid cunt languages the both of them
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:19, Reply)
^shit gp can't understand the language of medicine

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:22, Reply)
obsecro ut moriatur in ignem

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:41, Reply)
Coitus interuptus

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:43, Reply)
thickus doctorus est

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:48, Reply)

est sum
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:25, Reply)
ignem is an anagram of minge
lol, minge
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:51, Reply)
obsecro ut moriatur in minge

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:54, Reply)
observe a minotaur in minge

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:45, Reply)
MINGE

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:51, Reply)
Larus Argentinus

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:53, Reply)
Lagopus Lagopus Scotticus

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:54, Reply)
Do you mean Lagopus lagopus scoticus?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:20, Reply)
thats the one
red grouse
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:33, Reply)
Do you mean Larus argentatus?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:19, Reply)
thats the one
herring gull
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:34, Reply)
lol thicko

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:28, Reply)
Ecce! Est puella. Nomine Claudia.
Ecce! Est altera puella. Nonime Flavia.
Ecce! Est puer, et cetera.

Latin was fucking easy, you idiot.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:03, Reply)
Ecce! In pictura est puella, nomine Cornelia. Cornelia est puella Romana quae in Italia habitat. Etiam in pictura est villa rustica ubi Cornelia aestate habitat. Cornelia est laete quod iam villa habitat. Cornelia iam sub arbore sedet et legit.
Etiam in pictura est altera puella, nomine Flavia. Flavia est puella Romana quae in villa vicina habitat. Dum Cornelia legit, Flavia scribit. Laeta est Flavia quod Cornelia iam in villa habitat.
ACTUALLY
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:22, Reply)
no wonder you flunked it.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:17, Reply)
Ecce thump!
Actually
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:23, Reply)
ee bah gum

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:25, Reply)
Ecce cup

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:25, Reply)
i don't understand, how would that work?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:31, Reply)
You need two puellae.
Flavia and Cornelia are around somewhere.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:56, Reply)
They're meaningless
So don't kill yourself when the results come in. Not for that reason, anyway.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:01, Reply)
Wow, that was uncharacteristically mean spirited
Did I mean it, even? Who's to say these days
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:14, Reply)
Aww Two Hats.
I don't think that you really meant it...you are far too kind and fluffy for that.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:38, Reply)
I hope your wife gets into a good sixth form

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:01, Reply)
When children are at their most vulnerable?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:18, Reply)
ouch

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:24, Reply)
bosh! right in the kisser

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:29, Reply)
so you'll be too busy to post here?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:24, Reply)
Terrible bullying. Mods!
oh, wait
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:27, Reply)
its still very quiet at the moment.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:35, Reply)
Pretending to be a schoolie?
Red phone ringing at yewtree headquarters
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 16:54, Reply)
i'm the fuck fine, thank the fuck you

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:06, Reply)
WHY ARE THEY STILL MAKING THE POKEMON CARTOON
shit be tired, yo
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:09, Reply)
because they haven't caught them all, duh

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:29, Reply)
Is that what they're trying to achieve?
It's a whole bunch of bullshit.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:32, Reply)
they wanna be the very best,
like no one ever was.
to catch them all is their real test,
to train them is their cause.

they will travel across the land,
searching far and wide.
teach pokemon to understand
the power that's inside
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:34, Reply)
They wanna be the very STUPID PRICKEST more like

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:40, Reply)
well, yes

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:44, Reply)
also:
youtu.be/_aZbn4up9vE
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:32, Reply)


thank you and fuck you
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:12, Reply)
broke my laptop, got to buy saink else now, might just get a ipad or saink

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:11, Reply)
iPads are good but no substitute for a laptop

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:35, Reply)
no cunt needs a laptop these days
Sent from my Macbook.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:36, Reply)
iPads are nice
get a couple
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:35, Reply)
the sony one looks more my thing, waterproof

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:41, Reply)
crywank

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:49, Reply)
i have an ipad
my old work gave it to me

to be honest if i didn't get a free one, i wouldn't get one
they are great but so bloody expensive. not that it matters to you, moneybags
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:35, Reply)
the cellular module that upgrades you from a WiFi model to a 4g model costs under thirty dollars off the shelf
Apple can charge whatever they like. Marketing GENIUS.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:38, Reply)
I found a good workaround for that
Bought one for the missus. See? SHREWD
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:38, Reply)
got that football game yet?
WHY NOT?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:42, Reply)
Yeah
Well I got the android version. The iOS version is 1.49! I'm not made of money
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:43, Reply)
i wouldn't usually pay that for an app
but i got a recommendation from a trusted friend so i went for it

i'm sorry you dont consider me a trusted friend :(((
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:46, Reply)
I would trust you with my children and my life
But not my money
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:00, Reply)
I still begrudge spending money on tat, I'm more used to android too

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:38, Reply)
the only apple thing that takes any real getting used to is multi-finger swiping
and you can learn that just by associating each action with a memory of a different sized fanny
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:41, Reply)
there are some good android tabs
app store isn't as good though
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:43, Reply)
there's always another one coming out

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:52, Reply)
MORNING
not that you care
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:14, Reply)
Fucking hell Mono
At this rate you and Grrmachine could play both ends of a miserable fucking pantomime horse.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:39, Reply)
YEAH! :D

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:16, Reply)
36 malteasears
beat prev record of 34. Rules must b witnessed due to risk of choking to death. Must insert in a timely manner to avoid melting. Must crunch and swallow without spitting. No use of additional fluid assistance. Boys have big gobs as evidenced by posts. Rock on
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 23:10, Reply)
eveninh
alt: alright
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 23:23, Reply)

insert in a timely manner to avoid melting. Must crunch and swallow without spitting. No use of additional fluid assistance. Boys have big gobs as evidenced by posts. Rock on die in a fire
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 23:31, Reply)
all
gob and ad nauseuoum no substance!
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 23:44, Reply)
"ad nauseum"

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 7:34, Reply)
fire
i have pyromaniac tendencies and juggle fire so that is entirely possible and an accepted risk
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 23:52, Reply)
which one are you again?

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 0:28, Reply)
yeehaw squirrel

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 7:09, Reply)

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(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 0:39, Reply)
Things are looking up

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 1:28, Reply)
alright
How are everybody's bowels doing?
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:44, Reply)
Last couple of days of my holiday they were fucking horrific.
Since being home and not eating any of that forrin muck they seem much much better now thank you for your enquiry.

And how are yours?
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:46, Reply)
regular as ever

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:51, Reply)
I am so very happy for you.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:56, Reply)
That's nice to know, SpanishWombat

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:08, Reply)
I quite like that name.
I don't think I was around when...is it mortal wombat...was around.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:29, Reply)
alright, mortal wombat

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 19:07, Reply)
mortal wombat yeah was the better user
b3ta.com/search/posts/90948/best
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 19:20, Reply)
quality messageboard user A+++ would read again

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 19:23, Reply)
latin
ad nauseoum.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 22:39, Reply)
I don't even know who this cunt is

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 19:36, Reply)
Dr Shambolic m8
It says so under his post. YOU'RE WELCOME
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 20:06, Reply)
be fair, mortal wombat was never quite as dull as this nonce.
Maybe he had a stroke or something.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 21:37, Reply)
probably a stroke of a minor

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 22:44, Reply)
No, we never saw you in the same room together. Funny that.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 20:42, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7755405
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 21:44, Reply)
firm and fruity

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:46, Reply)
I said bowels, not buttocks

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:51, Reply)
my turds are like soreen malt loaf

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:08, Reply)
They come in yellow packets with purple lettering?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:09, Reply)
delicious sliced and buttered

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:11, Reply)
ian botham's footpenis

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:21, Reply)
Been a while

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:39, Reply)
since
i could hold my head up high. Song lyric of next week?
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 23:24, Reply)
Some bird called Doreen eats them?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 20:44, Reply)
I don't own an endoscope and I can't goatse so I don't know.
/future ac
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:16, Reply)
Do they seem to function well?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:20, Reply)
My farts smell like eggs
i.e. delicious
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:25, Reply)
as good as ever, i guess

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:56, Reply)
too loose, fibre overdose :(((((

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:59, Reply)
What are you, a policeman or saink?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 19:38, Reply)
sitting in the cupboard next to the platees, like they always do

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 20:03, Reply)
Oh my! A joke!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 20:42, Reply)
disgusting!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 20:44, Reply)
bowels
fine had prunes and cashew revolting wholefood and lentil lasagna
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 22:31, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7756651
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 22:33, Reply)
Ask bumless
Mine produce liquid shit from drinking too much but hey ho it's fun leaving it behind at work even after some mopping up
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 23:15, Reply)
I've just had a nice glass of milk
Isn't it strange that I used to drink semi-skimmed but after being on skimmed for a few months semi-skimmed is just too creamy for me?

Living the dream this afternoon, guys. Living the mother-fucking dream.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:33, Reply)
tosser

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:35, Reply)
yep!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:43, Reply)
I'm demonstrating Kendo in Manchester on Monday.
It's a Japanese Society day or something, anyway, I'll make some crude jokes then hit my friend with a stick.

I'm not looking forward to the smell of acne and hairspray.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:35, Reply)
Now that sounds like a good day, other than the smell of acne and hairspray

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:43, Reply)
We have to do the kendo display on carpetted floor
I am pretty sure I will burn the bottom of my feet.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:49, Reply)
Can't you wear some kind of oriental Kendo slipper?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:50, Reply)
there might be something suitable, but not on this tight turnaround.
It'll be fine, we'll just control ourselves, not go mental.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:51, Reply)
Where's the fun in that?
You ought to go utterly batshit insane and just whale on everyone
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:53, Reply)
sometimes it's nice to take some time off kicking the faces off fucking everyone

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:54, Reply)
You hit each other with sticks but you're worried about carpet burn?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:54, Reply)
I am a strange case.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:55, Reply)
There was a question about Kendo on the chase the other week
topical.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:00, Reply)
was the answer
"lolfarts?"
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:12, Reply)
Close.
I just witnessed some kids doing that ice water challenge in the street. Fucking cunts getting the pavement all wet.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:24, Reply)
I went to check out a kendo class down by London Bridge
It was too scary for me, I bottled it.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:15, Reply)
yeah but it tastes like water after drinking whole milk

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:39, Reply)
Whole milk is fucking rank

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:44, Reply)
Do you mean blue milk or straight from the cow?
My nan gets unadulterated unpasteurised milk from a local farmer who delivers it from his tractor. It makes blue milk taste like water. Soooooo good.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:03, Reply)
like this?
www.bluemilkspecial.com/?p=8
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:39, Reply)
Darth Tryanus, lol

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:19, Reply)
i've never tasted milk

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:44, Reply)
don't think anyone noticed, good save by me

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:45, Reply)
I was enjoying the threadrush
My replies have fallen into your pit of oblivion now, how many lives will you leave shattered along the way?
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:46, Reply)
all of them, hopefully

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:52, Reply)
ambition, I like it

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:53, Reply)
i've never been to Cuba

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:04, Reply)
loser

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:06, Reply)
skimmed isn't milk, you milk fail

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:47, Reply)
milk fail, shit fail, there's nothing I can't fail at
skimmed milk is the only milk I can drink these days though, anything more fatty just tastes grim
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:48, Reply)
are you a fat secretary with bad personal hygiene and insurmountable insecurity problems?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:06, Reply)
Hey! I'm not a secretary. Take that back.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:14, Reply)
soz
drink real milk, you blob
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:15, Reply)
But I hate it

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:16, Reply)
then learn
that translucent white water you're drinking is a waste product ... it's barely fit to feed to animals
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:30, Reply)
Surely it can't be bad for you?
It's essentially water with a bit of milk in it, like a weak milk squash
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:31, Reply)
it's milk with all the milk taken out
if you hate yourself that much then just drink lukewarm tap water from a chipped mug while watching reruns of Murder She Wrote.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:35, Reply)
All sounds good apart from MSW, that's not on Netflix AFAIK

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:36, Reply)
i fuck milk in the ass
get all right up in it.
spray that shit around.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:10, Reply)
Do you drink it afterwards?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:17, Reply)
after you get up all in it's shit there's no way you can drink it.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:22, Reply)
Maybe that's something I can do with the full fat milk that Shambles keeps recommending
Can you provide a list of steps for getting all up in its shit?
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:32, Reply)
You like your milk
Just like your morning paper

Red top and full of shit
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 16:56, Reply)
Afternoon!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:46, Reply)
AHOY!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:47, Reply)
MONO!!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:48, Reply)
Dr. Shambolic!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:00, Reply)
Alright!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:47, Reply)
Yes!!!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:48, Reply)
Great!!!!!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:07, Reply)
Shambles
alright
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:52, Reply)
Crambles.
alright
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:58, Reply)
the photocopier has gone missing, everyone's lost it

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:53, Reply)
It's gone missing?
What a mystery
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:56, Reply)
i just assumed it was taken away for repairs
i've had fun by telling people it's been replaced by a new more efficient model while pointing at the shredder, nobody has fallen for it yet
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:58, Reply)
There are at least 7 photocopiers dotted around this campus
and i don't think anyone knows how to use them. Technology eh!
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:00, Reply)
You must all be really fucking thick.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:07, Reply)
well duh, he's teaching them

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:09, Reply)
I hope you are not including me in that.
I wouldn't even dream of using one. If you work somewhere that you have to photocopy paper you are working for a fucking mickey mouse company.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:09, Reply)
Ok

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:12, Reply)
I couldn't understand a word of that. Soz. Try calming down and using English.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:50, Reply)
It was perfectly legible wording.
Are you a mong?
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:02, Reply)
This really wasn't:
"If you work somewhere that you have to photocopy paper you are working for a fucking mickey mouse company"
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:11, Reply)
Nothing wrongsa with a that as all.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:18, Reply)
i get what he means
he's still a fucking idiot though
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:51, Reply)
Aww see you just cannot help yourself can you manolith?
Your love for me pours out of you like a gigantic sewage pipe.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:09, Reply)
Is he like your handler or something?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:12, Reply)
yeah we call em carers.
he interferes with me when he straps me in at night. Whether that makes him a "handler" i dunno.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:18, Reply)
That's not what 'legible' means.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:37, Reply)
get a life

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:26, Reply)
you're the fuckingest thickiest of them all

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:50, Reply)
That's a big thing to go missing.
Good work.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:58, Reply)
haha, I used to work in a hotel as a waitor
once these two guys came in wearing boiler suits and holding a clipboard, they flashed the clipborad to the reception saying they were from the fruit machine company and they were swapping the machine over to another one, then wheeled the fruit machine out on a sack trolley, put it in the back of a van, and fucked off.
Top quality theft
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:16, Reply)
Phoenix nights quality theft.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:30, Reply)
Well obviously, if only some people had lost it then it wouldn't really be missing would it?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:02, Reply)
oh sorry, i think you've misunderstood
i meant that everyone has lost their minds as the photocopier's absence has caused quite the quandary
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:06, Reply)
I am deeply sorry for your loss.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:12, Reply)
HOWDY!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:59, Reply)
HOOROO!!!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:07, Reply)
Star Trek geek.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:08, Reply)
I like when Hans Soldier shoots Dark Invader with his plasma gun.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:59, Reply)

I like when Hans Soldier shoots Dark Invader with his plasma gun cock.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:02, Reply)
I like it when spock beats emporer ming on his lightcycle

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:18, Reply)
I like it when that man who was in that other thing shouts GAME OVER MAN and then they blow up the dark star
Good God, I'm such a science-fi nerd
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:46, Reply)
Haha I bet you go to conventions dressed as a space raider

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:55, Reply)
BiMonSciFiCon

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:00, Reply)
hi

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:10, Reply)
sweet!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:12, Reply)
It is an' all!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:12, Reply)
still cold

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:25, Reply)
set something on fire

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:33, Reply)
Maybe spanishfly

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:52, Reply)
i second this

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:54, Reply)
motion carried

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:59, Reply)
Ah shit.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:07, Reply)
we're a bit busy right now
if you could just set yourself on fire that would be great, ta very much
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:10, Reply)
I will get right on that.
I might video it, nominate people, upload it to facebook. All in the name of charity.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:13, Reply)
Like neknominations this could help with overpopulation

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:00, Reply)
Wow!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:45, Reply)
i no rite/

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:00, Reply)
Look at me replying.
I don't want to miss out on this opportunity, I hope he notices me.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:14, Reply)
he didn't :(

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:42, Reply)
SOMEONE HOLD ME, KEEP ME STRONG

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:49, Reply)
This new bellend of a site manager is on a health and safety mission
we've just had a fire. FUCKING AMAZING, he's got proper short man syndrome, he just went fucking mental. He's put 50 angry builders on litterpick duty,and banned smoking from site. He asked me to join in with cleanup, but I told him to get fucked, I've got important e-mails to send (lies). WINNING.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:25, Reply)
I like "stie managers" they are the best of all the managers.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:26, Reply)
He's a proper tosser, the new client. Can't see him taking me out to nice cheese shops
Cunt
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:27, Reply)
give him the alternative homemade cheese.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:28, Reply)
I did dip my penis into a site managers coffee back when I was a mere labourer
it was dumb as fuck. I scalded my jeb end and a week later came up in genetal warts and contracted herpes type 1.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:42, Reply)
I have both of those exact STI's.
SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTION TWINS! YAY!
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:44, Reply)
probably because you're a fucking idiot
/ac
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:46, Reply)
It was incredibly and undeniably fucking idiotic
but it made at least 2 people laugh, not including the nurse at the clap clinic
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:50, Reply)

coffee boyfriend
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:00, Reply)
noice

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:02, Reply)

in
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:05, Reply)

o n
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:33, Reply)
Nce?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:56, Reply)
Nice.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:00, Reply)
sounds like a right pirck

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:29, Reply)
Dr Shambolic just got a new job.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:30, Reply)
have I?
shit ... better get dressed or something
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:43, Reply)
Like you would wear clothes to work.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:44, Reply)
PIRCK!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:33, Reply)
wakner

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:34, Reply)
weren't he that dude from xfactor or summat?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:06, Reply)
cutn

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:39, Reply)
M!NOO

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:44, Reply)
did you start the fire?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:33, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/7756651
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:35, Reply)
ha!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:37, Reply)
isn't he just doing the job of a site manager?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:34, Reply)
ooh deletion

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:39, Reply)
Exactly the kind of thing mortal wombat would have done

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:40, Reply)
yeah yeah spesh
:) I never delete. EVER!
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:41, Reply)
Yeah it wasn't intentional
I was saying no hes a stie manager can you not read...but i realise that Gloves has gone and edited now.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:40, Reply)
Sure made you look silly Spaffles, eh

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:16, Reply)
doesn't take much.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:34, Reply)
Sort of, but badly, seeing as he's dragging my men away from their work to pick up litter
yet will insist the job is done on time, I will have no option but to charge him for the men on day rate due to his stupidity. I see no logical reason why EVERYONE has to do it, he's holding up every trader, but will then be screaming come a weeks time when the job is a day behind
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:39, Reply)
safety first, glovers
you could always pitch in and help to get it done quicker
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:41, Reply)
be part of the solution not part of the problem
and other platitudes
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:43, Reply)
pffft. his exact words whilst blue in the face and screaming were, and I quote
"SAFTEY FIRST! QUALITY SECOND! BUT QUALITY COMES ABOVE THAT!"
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:45, Reply)
would his position be in question if the fire had been worse?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:49, Reply)
I think it has the potential to be much worse now hes choosing to pile all of the cardboard and wood up into one big mound.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:51, Reply)
I hope he has carried out a risk assessment

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:51, Reply)
No, he hasn't, for an anal person he's a dumb shite
he's sent most of them picking up splintery wood with no gloves on.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:54, Reply)
the whole site sounds like a health and safety nightmare, no wonder he's getting upset

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Its really not, there have been no accidents
until he arrived yesterday. also productivity has decreased. It seems being spoken to like shit hasn't motivated anybody
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:58, Reply)
maybe he's spending too long on here
he might be me, you never know
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:01, Reply)
If it is you, could you please return to the office and suck my hairy ginger balls

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:07, Reply)
Give me ten minutes

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:13, Reply)
But you've already been here 5, how longs a dude gotta wait to get his hairy ginger balls sucked around here.
The bulgarians are far more punctual.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:18, Reply)
Well if you like the Bulgarians so much THEY can suck your hairy ginger balls :(
*flounces*
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:28, Reply)
More proof they are better workers
No wonder they're taking all of our jobs.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:39, Reply)
why don't you just make sure there are a lot more accidents?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:43, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7756783
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:11, Reply)
"my men"
bit gay
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:43, Reply)
I'm quite possesive and I like to be in control
of my queers
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:48, Reply)
^Shite manager

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:52, Reply)
Nah, they love me, their all bulgarian
I learnt loads to make the effort to communicate with the ones who speak little english, and I drink Rakia with them, and occaisionally help them to source cocaine in exchange for their cheap marijuana. I have an excellent rapore with my team.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:56, Reply)
you find it easy to relate to the ones who struggle with english?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:58, Reply)
Chuckle

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:03, Reply)
I sure do look stupid now :(
but i'm sure i'll get over it
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:12, Reply)
Hence why i'm in the building trade

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:09, Reply)
you need this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y4zxcSuwlI
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:58, Reply)
Nah, I think I just need to concentrate a bit more while i'm typing

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:15, Reply)
Chevron

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:13, Reply)
where?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:18, Reply)
You ruined it, you monster

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:29, Reply)
So he's diverted the workforce from their regular duties just to satisfy his own flaccid sense of self importance?
What a winner
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:02, Reply)
basically yeah, It's really all quite amusing
he seems very upset by it all
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:10, Reply)
might start another one tomorrow
and then every day until he fucks off or cries
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:11, Reply)
morning
What have you got planned for today?
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 6:50, Reply)
probably have a piss in a minute

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 7:21, Reply)
I like your style

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 7:22, Reply)
I might copy mongy, and perhaps even build on that foundation with a sit-down visit

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 7:28, Reply)
I've just noticed how much I need a piss, cheers mongy
probably have a shit while I'm there, think it's brewed and ready enough, and no point going back if i'm there already, ergonomics.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:27, Reply)
You're not working hard, Glovington
You're working smart
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:35, Reply)
I'll comment on that when I get back. could be hard work, think she's a biggun

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:36, Reply)
Power to your bumhole

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:45, Reply)
I'm worried, are you still there?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:27, Reply)
Banging shit, got half a cryptic crossword done too :D

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:38, Reply)
That's an excellent start to the day

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:42, Reply)
I'd like a refund on this summer, it's already gone cold

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 7:29, Reply)
gonna be the coldest august on record they reckon
I might as well go to work at this rate
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 7:43, Reply)
global warming innit?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 7:55, Reply)
gonna leave my car running all day and turn all my lights on

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 7:58, Reply)
not sure that'll work with LED lighting and a stop-start engine
it's political correctness gone mad
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:29, Reply)
Maybe set fire to it instead, the burning plastics will help to bring global warming about

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:35, Reply)
It's diesel. It's a bugger to set alight.
Howd up ... I've got petrol for the lawnmower. Back in a bit.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:37, Reply)
You're doing God's work, Shambles

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:45, Reply)
Fuck that cunt.
I spent the whole of my adolescence praying to be ambidextrous and have a second cock.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:46, Reply)
The one on your head doesnt count then?
HAHAHA, we have a right laugh here.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:52, Reply)
terrible bullying! MODS!!

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:56, Reply)
on b3ta, mods don't hear you scream

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:11, Reply)
oh we hear it
we're just jaded by it all.

war. war never changes.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:21, Reply)

on b3ta,mods don't hear you scream+ care
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:22, Reply)

don't hear you scream finger dogs' bumholes
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:28, Reply)
Fucking bullshit innit

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:33, Reply)
Work m8, work.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 7:38, Reply)
if yesterday is anything to go by, sporadic attacks of diarrhoea

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 7:45, Reply)
a world of make believe

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 7:49, Reply)
morning
it seems most likely that I'll spend a good portion of the day sitting at this desk, but I'm open to offers
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:25, Reply)
why don't you try sitting on top of, under or beside the desk?
this will inject some excitement into what could have been a mundane day
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:20, Reply)
my chair is beside the desk
the other two options don't seem very practical for doing stuff
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:27, Reply)
oh!
i hadn't taken into account that you might want to do work. sorry
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:40, Reply)
I don't want to do work, but I ought at least to maintain the appearance of doing work

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:43, Reply)
here, watch these fish play each other at street fighter
www.twitch.tv/fishplaystreetfighter
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:57, Reply)
morning mr h
I'm at work, but I've got fuck all to do, so gonna work on the business the Mrs and I are setting up.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:34, Reply)
Pimpin' ain't easy

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:00, Reply)
Especially with a face like hers.
Like trying to flog a Lada in a Bentley showroom.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:07, Reply)
She has a face?

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:12, Reply)
i've seen nothing above boobs
God I love boobs
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:40, Reply)
Those aren't boobs
Those are two of her warty chins.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:29, Reply)
with bumholes where the nipples should be

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:33, Reply)
Bumples

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:49, Reply)
Look man, jokes are jokes and all, but please don't underestimate my love of boobs
I think I know a boob from a warty chin. I've fondled at least 3 pairs in my time, and that doesnt even include my mothers. A little respect please.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:48, Reply)
You shouldn't google "chin wart" unless you want an immediate and frantic wank.

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:55, Reply)
Why did I not listen to you?
Now my monitor is covered in jizz :(
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:59, Reply)
morning
as little as possible, but then tomorrow is GCSE results day. It will be mental here.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:57, Reply)
I imagine all the hyper-activity may "excite" you a little

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:12, Reply)
and then we'll all get to hear about it

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:29, Reply)
I doubt I will get chance to post its always mental
and any breaks i do get i will be wanking in the toilets.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:13, Reply)
keep living the dream

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:14, Reply)
you fucking know this

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:29, Reply)
Crappin' and fappin'
aaaah yeah
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:50, Reply)
Can you do both at the same time?
My girlfriend says otherwise. But i intend to prove her wrong tonight now.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:13, Reply)
work

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:08, Reply)
tekkers

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:15, Reply)
alright
i'm going to knock off work at lunchtime and go to view a flat
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:16, Reply)
happy viewing

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:21, Reply)
i hope so
i just accidentally tried to saw my finger off with a key, is that a good omen?
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:42, Reply)
It's an omen that you're a fucking idiot
Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is entirely dependent on your outlook
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:43, Reply)
i was holding too many things in one hand while attempting to hold a door open for someone
i'm a victim of my own heroism
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:05, Reply)
I'm sorry for calling you a fucking idiot
You're actually a wonderful person who deserves plaudits and possibly even some sort of a medal
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:13, Reply)
it's ok, i deliberately worded it to make the whole thing sound funnier than it was

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:15, Reply)
Fucking idiot

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:18, Reply)
this i know

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:57, Reply)

heroism crapulence
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:03, Reply)
someone's feeling sassy today

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:29, Reply)
A key?
What are you made of, blancmange?
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:51, Reply)
bitch, i might be

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:57, Reply)
What flavour?
I'm asking.....for a friend.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:06, Reply)
raspberry

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:14, Reply)
oh
You struck me more as a "vanilla". Maybe butterscotch.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:02, Reply)
how dare you

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:23, Reply)
beige

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:26, Reply)
Got work then kendo isn't it.
I plan on doing some more sketching as well a little later.
(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:29, Reply)
you've always seemed a bit sketchy

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:49, Reply)
hah

(, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:20, Reply)

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