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lol

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:48, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:49, Reply)
alright Mr Beefo

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:49, Reply)
Good ta
How's the indignity of working for the man playing out
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:52, Reply)
not bad so far,
they let me wear my cat slippers AND they're ordering me exactly the mechanical keyboard that i wanted.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 22:19, Reply)
I reckon I'll miss my generic HP keyboard with fur round the keys and visible chunks worn out of the vowels and spacebar.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 23:34, Reply)
programming on a typewriter, could you BE any more hipster

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 0:01, Reply)
you betcha

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:54, Reply)
RIP Brucie

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:55, Reply)
It's a laugh innit

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 22:08, Reply)
big jobs

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 22:09, Reply)
BIG KNOBS, MORE LIKE!!!!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 22:43, Reply)
i no rite

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 1:37, Reply)

I'm sure this must have already been covered, but even if he WAS correct; who the cocking fuckpricks gets pissing well offended by a fucking drawing of a cunting building?!
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 19:22, Reply)
What's that then?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 19:40, Reply)
It's about you being a fucking spaz, no offence

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 19:46, Reply)
Oh, nice way to get a conversation going.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 19:54, Reply)
I put no effort in to my posts and have a flippant attitude toward a puerile forum populated by an assortment of sad wankers.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 19:57, Reply)
So there.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 19:58, Reply)
I was only asking what you're jabbering on about

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:17, Reply)
It's just some classic beeter bants!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:28, Reply)
You sound like a bit of a cocking fuckprick m8 no offence

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:40, Reply)
would you go as far as cockwomble?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:40, Reply)
Oh come on m8 let's not escalate this to cockwomble

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:44, Reply)
You pisskidney!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:46, Reply)
shitprawn

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:48, Reply)
Too far.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:51, Reply)
Me.
I'm outraged, m8.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:19, Reply)
'Who the fucking cockpricks'

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:20, Reply)
I blame the flautists.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:25, Reply)
I blame the autists

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:27, Reply)
+It's 8.40pm!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:40, Reply)
Heh

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:42, Reply)
alt: TURTLE POWER

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:27, Reply)
Heh2

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:31, Reply)
That's heh
for neh
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:33, Reply)
'member, with vorderman before she became a horrendous massive-breasted caricature of herself, fred 'murder casebook' dineage, and violet berlin's husband

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:36, Reply)
Carol Vorderman's Magnificent Arse

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:41, Reply)
Oh yeah, you have a thing for her don't you, 2nd only to Sian
disgusting
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:46, Reply)
#infest

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:48, Reply)
Violet Berlin was packing some danger back in the Bad Influence days.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 22:02, Reply)
Used to post on a dnb forum you went on occasionally as well.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 22:23, Reply)
#FakeTaxiAnecdote

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 6:24, Reply)
I have no idea what you're on about.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:24, Reply)
Ur face m8
Also, songs: Ohia y/n
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:24, Reply)
not heard them.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:31, Reply)
Aye, put The Lioness on. Reckon you'll like it.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:32, Reply)
I'll give it a go.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:33, Reply)
If we humour him, maybe he'll calm down?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:24, Reply)
yeah, because that usually works on here

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:13, Reply)
prolly muslims and autisms

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:34, Reply)
And Jews

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:35, Reply)
Haha, minions, what are they like eh!!!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:36, Reply)
hahaha

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:37, Reply)
Banana!
Haha, "banana"!
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:44, Reply)
Oh man!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 20:46, Reply)
They're the popular culture equivalent of b3ta's own funny-faced man, and no mistake!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:14, Reply)
Haha, "fuck"!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:18, Reply)
I did this picture once, can't believe it wasn't FP'd
s1.b3ta.com/host/creative/45371/1434402239/fuckliftminion.jpg"
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:20, Reply)
Time to shutdown b3ta, this wins everything.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:23, Reply)
It's 'for teh win'

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:28, Reply)

www.traptoys.com/easy-he/
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 21:09, Reply)
Are you sure you're trying hard enough?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 23:19, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 17:42, Reply)
our new office has chairs without arms.
I've nearly fallen out of my chair several times today.

#interesting #mick
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 17:49, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 17:52, Reply)
I ought to start bringing allen keys into work, to remove the arms from chairs.
Awful things.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:03, Reply)
How are arms remotely bad?
I keep missing them when trying to sit up after a good slouch.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:06, Reply)
I like to sit high up, and close to the desk.
Arms on the chair mean I can only do one of those things.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:13, Reply)
Our last ones had arms you could turn round so they faced backwards.
You could get close to the desk yet still push yourself up by the elbows if you'd had a good slouch.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:18, Reply)
Might just turn my chair 360° and walk away.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:20, Reply)


(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:21, Reply)








lol?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:33, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 17:50, Reply)
LMFAO

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 17:53, Reply)
Alright Richard
I'm off work this week sorting out the garden.
I've used up 50 bags of stone chippings so far
and my back hurts. Might as well be at work lol.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 17:51, Reply)
Lift from the knees, Rich
PS alright lol
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 17:52, Reply)
Have you seen Kingsmen yet?
I lol'd at Elton John
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 17:58, Reply)
Was he "a little bit funny"?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:14, Reply)
lmao

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:12, Reply)
Rofl

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:15, Reply)
roflmao

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:54, Reply)
Hahahaha x infinity

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 19:10, Reply)
Slow down, /talk, I can't keep up with this breakneck pace.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Might get my knob out
drum up some interest, you know
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:22, Reply)
get a buzz going
that's what they say, isn't it?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:24, Reply)
Will it attract flies?
t attract flies?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:30, Reply)
90s rap chat didn't exactly set the board alight, did it?
Maybe we should have a discussion about the respective sincerities of theological expression in the music of Thomas Tallis and Orlando Gibbons.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:29, Reply)
or I could just get my knoblet out

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:30, Reply)
'Knoblet' sounds like a processed chicken speciality.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:31, Reply)
cock au vin

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:33, Reply)
Faggots and gravy

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:50, Reply)
haha, Brains faggots - like in t3h zombuie films!!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:58, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:58, Reply)
They were a staple 'mum's not coming home for tea' meal when I was a lad.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:50, Reply)
*writes 'abandonment issues' and 'alcoholic mum' down on pad*
I see. Please, continue
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:55, Reply)
rap is fucking shit for people who can't actually sing but like to throw their hands about like cunts

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:03, Reply)
oh boy...

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:04, Reply)
i fucking hate rap

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:07, Reply)
Then I strongly recommend not listening to it

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:11, Reply)
i don't
i prefer rock/metal
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:12, Reply)
My dad calls it "crap"!
You can have that one for free.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:14, Reply)
i've already got a dad
but thanks anyway
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:20, Reply)
Just imagine the wacky comedy hijinks that would ensue if you had two!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:23, Reply)
i can just see the title
"the two miserable cunts"
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:27, Reply)
Chuck Lore phones lawyers.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:31, Reply)
as a hobby?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:45, Reply)
^ This.
But we have to watch what we say around here in case we hurt Richard McBeef's feelings.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:07, Reply)
he has every right to like it
but i'd rather jam a squirrel in each ear
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:13, Reply)
You'd have to be nuts

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 17:34, Reply)
I'm very sensitive, plz be nice thx

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:26, Reply)
No.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:13, Reply)
a simple denial is no argument

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:21, Reply)
Plenty of things can get me riled up for a good online argument,
but music isn't really one.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:26, Reply)
fair enough

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:28, Reply)
Don't worry m8 I'm here

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:28, Reply)
Help me, Richard mcbeef!
You're my only hope.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:30, Reply)
Then you are truly doomed.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:34, Reply)
You were supposed to bring balance to the board,
not destroy it!
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:37, Reply)
Come to the Dark Side

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:44, Reply)
ELLODEREMON!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:46, Reply)
stop that.
silly person.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:49, Reply)
Some yes, some no
We're talking about a field so wide that what you've just said is akin to 'guitar music is all shit' which I'd hope you agree would be a rather silly thing to say.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:27, Reply)
guitar music is all shit

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:31, Reply)
You know what I hate?
Music with drums in. I mean really.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:32, Reply)
I've never listened to music recorded with a Shure SM58
and I never will
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:34, Reply)
POOR SM58, I call them!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:36, Reply)
I gave up on it after Dylan went electric.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:32, Reply)
Stutter Rap > Eazy E's 'Boyz In The Hood'

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:32, Reply)
Stutter Rap is the benchmark for all true hip hop records

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:37, Reply)
There *was* no hip hop before that

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:39, Reply)
In a way, there was none after that, too

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:47, Reply)
Apart from Wham Rap, Snot Rap, Ant Rap and Chalk Dust obv

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:47, Reply)
and Rat, m8
and Rat
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:48, Reply)
*gasps*
How on earth can I have been so remiss
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:49, Reply)
there is very little i find tolerable when it comes to rap
it's basically angry poetry
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:36, Reply)
Vast swathes of it is not even remotely angry

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:39, Reply)
always sounds like it to me

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:43, Reply)
For one thing I suspect you've not heard very much, then - not that I'm expecting you to like it, but 'metal' is 'angry' surely
Esp modern stuff where they put on that stupid voice
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:51, Reply)
angry with a purpose
and i really am not so keen on the more modern stuff, which is why i rely on older cd's
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:00, Reply)
Oh come on now
'Angry with a purpose' my fucking arse. Some Norwegian teenager going 'ROAAAARGHHH I'M AN OGRE' to what purpose? I'd say generations of social deprivation, racism and police brutality might be a *little* more justification for anger than 'I've got acne and my mum didn't sew my Iron Maiden patch on my denim jacket straight'...
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:09, Reply)
that's the more modern stuff
which i don't listen to and seems to be fuelled purely by testosterone
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:10, Reply)
Have you ever seen the 80s Arena Heavy Metal documentary?
It's always been the preserve of spotty virgins m8
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:12, Reply)
The footage of Nottingham Rock City is *hilarious*
Some pranny skipping in a circle round a nearly empty dancefloor...he then clasps his hands together behind his back and starts kind of hopping up and down like a constipated frog.

EDITL at 5:48, lolololol
www.youtube.com/watch?v=upzrYAJN_Ck

It seems I've not remembered right: skipping boy and frogger are two different people
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:15, Reply)
i'm not spotty, a teenager or a virgin
but you like what you like and i like what i like, that's all there is to it.
and now, as i have been descended upon by 2 little nutters, it seems i'm off to the local park to spin them on things till they puke.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:15, Reply)
see ya!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:16, Reply)
Although I wouldn't normally say this, I think it is possible to dislike the rap genre in its entirety.
The concept of people just talking to a drum beat just holds no appeal to me. The only song that comes anywhere near the genre that I've heard and enjoyed is The Incredible Return of the Great White Dope by the Bloodhound Gang.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:36, Reply)
I feel the same about the concept of people just playing other instruments to a drum beat
HANG ON NO I DON'T, THAT WOULD MAKE ME A FUCKING IDIOT
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:38, Reply)
Your rap name would be Tetch-E, jussayin'.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:42, Reply)
Fucking flautists, right?
Who do they think they are?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:43, Reply)
i've heard they really enjoy band camp

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:45, Reply)
I've never seen that film.
Pretty sure I'd hate it.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:58, Reply)
i had to endure it
as my then-boyfriend thought it would be romantic.
he was very, very wrong.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:01, Reply)
Classy.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:04, Reply)
he phoned me for half an hour this morning
to tell me how great west kirkby is.
he was wrong about that, too.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:12, Reply)
How could you have let him go, Smash?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:19, Reply)
I am delivering a class from home
How very 21st century
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:38, Reply)
<s>perving over
+of 7 year olds
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:43, Reply)
Archived.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:48, Reply)
I'm still waiting for the lawsuit

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:28, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:58, Reply)
yeah soz lol

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:48, Reply)
throw some coffee down yer neck

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:53, Reply)
sho me ur peanus plz

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 14:58, Reply)
good grief

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:00, Reply)
I tell you what, you don't often hear the name Mable these days do you?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:11, Reply)
Mable seems like one that might come back, though
When I was a kid, the idea of a child being called George or Alf was quite comical. Now they're fucking everywhere.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:12, Reply)
Can confirm, know two Alf's

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:18, Reply)
Not since my aunt Mable died no

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:18, Reply)
I remember a kid's TV programme about a fat waitress called Mabel Wobble,
but Google game me this.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:19, Reply)
mable syrup

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:22, Reply)
mable it's becaws I'm a Landanahhhh

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:25, Reply)
M.A.B.
It's a big horse.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:29, Reply)
Don't think they shorten it anymore
So they just get called Mablelicious
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:26, Reply)
mable she's born with it or mable it's mabelline

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:26, Reply)

mabelline spina bifida
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:03, Reply)
I've had orders from a Caroline Cake and a Jessica Vest today
Eff Why Aye
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:24, Reply)
cakey to her mates

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:26, Reply)
spectacular chest

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:29, Reply)
soz, lady boarder'

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:29, Reply)
I've had A Poon

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:32, Reply)
The mrs chose to watch The History of the World - Part 1 last night with me
That is a very silly film.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:28, Reply)
I watched the M*A*S*H film last night.
It was alright. I was going to watch Nashville but at 2 hours and 40 minutes I'd have been up past my bedtime.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:32, Reply)
I think M*A*S*H was better as a TV series.
Bonus controversial opinion: Catch 22 was rubbish, both as a book and a film.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:35, Reply)
No, the book is brilliant
The film was shit. It kind of is an unfilmable book because of the repetitive structure.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:41, Reply)
Fair enough.
I didn't like it. Yossarian was a prick.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:51, Reply)
In a M*A*S*H type scenario I imagine you'd be Frank Burns.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:26, Reply)
Seems fair.
I wouldn't turn down Major Houlihan.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:35, Reply)
I was going to ask 'film' or loretta swift but it doesn't really matter does it?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 17:23, Reply)
Yeah I never bothered with the film because having read the book I knew it wouldn't do it justice.
See also: Slaughterhouse Five.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:19, Reply)
Great book, taped the film off TV, but never bothered watching it.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:21, Reply)
I think you might be right.
It's tough though; Sutherland and Gould were great, but then so was Alan Alda.

I guess the film is almost like several episodes stitched together.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:18, Reply)
Pretty much.
In defense of the film, it did have the decency to not outlast the actual war.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:29, Reply)
It's also probably better than if the tv series M*A*S*H was conceived first and then they decided to make a film.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:32, Reply)
It's anyways best when an already exhausted premise is stretched out for a further 2 hours of screentime.
Serenity gets a pass here, obviously.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:37, Reply)

r m n e
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:57, Reply)
For sure.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 17:04, Reply)
M*A*S*H is a pretty decent film
Nashville does indeed sound very long
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:36, Reply)
It's highly regarded though, so I will watch it at some point.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:25, Reply)
I'm still waiting for Part 2.
"Jews in Space" looked well lol.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:32, Reply)
"It's good to be the king"

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:34, Reply)
^ looks like the pissboy

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:38, Reply)
oh yeah, I forgot
On Saturday, I ate so many jalapenos, it gave me fucking diarrhoea.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:43, Reply)
So one then

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:46, Reply)
It was almost a whole jar

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 15:48, Reply)

r lapeno
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:58, Reply)
Diarrhea Diarrhea
It comes out your bum
Like a bullet from a gun
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:59, Reply)
Can't believe I missed music chat , if foood chat breaks out somebody text me

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:11, Reply)
no problem

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:21, Reply)
What do you suppose spanishfly means by 'delivered a class'?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:36, Reply)
He's a crack dealer.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:40, Reply)
oh ok, yeah, that makes sense

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:41, Reply)
web cam wank

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:41, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkMUMroTcTg
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:40, Reply)


(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:50, Reply)
how bout dat

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:51, Reply)
Well that's proved how good rap music can really be

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 16:54, Reply)
When I step up in the place a-yo I step correct
Woo-Hah! Got you all in check!

Hi everyone, it's me, rap sensation Busta Rhymes, with my classic 1996 hit 'Woo Hah', how's it going?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:06, Reply)
He's really fucking fat these days

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:06, Reply)
Maybe he got all the Missy Elliot fat

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:25, Reply)
alright Busta

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:07, Reply)
Hi mate

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:07, Reply)
Busta Merryfield, more like.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:09, Reply)
rather that than Bloodvessel, I suppose

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:10, Reply)
fatty towers, lol

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:44, Reply)
Alright
Just made some fucking gnocci, didn't I.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:11, Reply)
who's there?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:11, Reply)
haha I get it

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:13, Reply)
I dunnup

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:16, Reply)
Clean it up, m8, yeah?
Family forum?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:32, Reply)
n

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:36, Reply)
Crikey was that over 20 years ago?
Gosh
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:14, Reply)
Shocking eh

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:16, Reply)
Pub time I reckon , need fags

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:16, Reply)
My wife plans to give up the fags now we're back from hol
Hopefully she won't be too irritable during the process
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:17, Reply)
Good luck to her

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:19, Reply)
She's a 'fag within 5mins of waking up' type, could be a bit of a rocky road

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:28, Reply)
Set your alarm so you wake up five minutes before she does
and stick a patch on her while she sleeps.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:31, Reply)
I'm out of the house before she wakes up, thankfully

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:36, Reply)
I was a right prick when I quit.
And before ahahahahaha
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:26, Reply)
Hopefully the world of vapes will help

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:29, Reply)
Vapenation

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:42, Reply)
The Alan Carr book is alright. Helped me.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:44, Reply)
She's got that already, clearly hasn't worked for her, sadly

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:47, Reply)
tbf I failed after about a year because I didn't follow its instructions.
A few years ago I just decided I couldn't be fucked smoking and then it was quite easy not to. I suppose the book is supposed to jog that mindset.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:49, Reply)
I used a 'ramadan' method when I cut down
and decided to never smoke during the hours of daylight. Even though I still smoke, I still go by this rule. I don't even smoke every day.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:52, Reply)
smoking in moderation is actually healthier than not smoking at all

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:58, Reply)
This is me
I don't smoke during the day, and most likely I'll just have a single joint at night - unless I'm out drinking or on the ol' 'Doctor Uggs'
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:58, Reply)
Persian Rugs, I calls 'em!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 12:34, Reply)
Chatty Man is a fucking travesty.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 12:04, Reply)
When she gets irritable, just groan, and say "get a fucking grip, will you?"
Honest to god, this works EVERY time
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:33, Reply)
*writes this down*

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:36, Reply)
Then, before she can respond, hit her with
"So have you heard any good jokes recently?"
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:37, Reply)
If she doesn't have a joke then you can say
"Well, I'm making an effort in this relationship and you can't even join in with a bit of fun, I don't know why I bother.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:43, Reply)
+ I'm nipping out for a smoke

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:46, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:47, Reply)
it's easy, she just needs to substitute with another addiction
heroin looks pretty simple to get into
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:59, Reply)
From now on, every time you have a fag I get to punch you in the face afterwards.
Now, do you still need it that badly?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 12:41, Reply)
you got fat, busta

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:18, Reply)
I know, soz m8, I just loves me some kee-bobs!!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:18, Reply)
Remember the time you jump-kicked Halloween's Michael Myers out of a window, whilst making Bruce Lee noises?
That was great.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:20, Reply)
Do I!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:28, Reply)
Work is a shit wank cunt

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:26, Reply)
I read this to the tune of Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:27, Reply)
you would

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:29, Reply)
I make no apology for that

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:35, Reply)
Just gotta ride it.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:28, Reply)
kick off

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:31, Reply)
I might

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:39, Reply)
One in the back and two in the front

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:33, Reply)
+let's make lots of money

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:35, Reply)
That's the way I like to munt.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:36, Reply)
Now wank my tits and lick my gunt

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:37, Reply)
Is Flipmo still the greatest?
If so, Gimme some mo.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:39, Reply)
Rhymes aside, the Flipmode Squad were something of a disappointment
I'm looking at you, 'Rampage the Last Boy Scout'. Not to mention 'Spliff Starr'.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:40, Reply)
Flidmo, I like to call him.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:41, Reply)
If I knew who that was
It'd call him Flidmo too
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:42, Reply)
I've no idea what they're on about either
but I'm throwing diss to make myself appear cool and popular.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:45, Reply)
Well it's worked, as far as I'm concerned

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:46, Reply)
*fist bump from one cool cat to another*

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:54, Reply)
It's Flipmode, Busta's 'crew'

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 12:00, Reply)
Do you not mean "Cru"

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 12:03, Reply)
they're not a bottle of wine m8

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 12:04, Reply)
Calling Dr Rhymes to surgery

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 13:10, Reply)
"Crü", surely?
Otherwise it'd be pronounced "cruh".
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 12:07, Reply)
'Squad' m8. As evidenced on his 1994 track 'Flipmode iz da squad' and the 1996 classic 'Flipmode iz ztill da squad'.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 12:47, Reply)
Read that in the voice on Andrew Divoff in Wishmaster.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 12:55, Reply)
I have a record featuring a really embarrassing freestyle by Flipmode member (lol) Rampage
He doesn't have anything to say; the beat rambles on and he just kind of goes 'yeah, what, Flipmode' for about 5 minutes. It's excruciating
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 13:06, Reply)
No doubt the video is better, probably lots of posing and pointing, and wearing XXXXXXL hockey jerseys

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 13:09, Reply)
I miss those days :(
(in the chap's defence this record is radio sessions rather than actual studio work but it should never have been broadcast)
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 13:13, Reply)
Awooga, Flipmode, what a rush.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 13:10, Reply)
excellently
the mental has decided to go to Cardiff for the weekend to visit her granddaughter, so i'll have all of friday and saturday free!
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 13:55, Reply)

Morning
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 7:48, Reply)
Morning pal

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 7:49, Reply)
Good morning Richard

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:54, Reply)
hi m8

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:59, Reply)
Soz, got distracted.
How's it?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:02, Reply)
980 emails in my inbox

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:26, Reply)
That was me m8.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:31, Reply)
You bounder

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:46, Reply)
979 of them are from me, m8
They all just say "he'"
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:31, Reply)
nice one *deletes the fackin lot*

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:35, Reply)
Alright wankchops

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 7:52, Reply)
Maybe that's why he's fucked off?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:54, Reply)
good morning

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:04, Reply)
It's a bit drizzly here, actually
but maybe you're having a good one. I do hope so.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:54, Reply)
Oh, you've got this?
Ta duck
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:03, Reply)
And a fine, balmy morning it is too.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:06, Reply)
I thought evenings were balmy?
but I may be wrong
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:55, Reply)
Is that a rule?
I know you can only serenade someone in the evening. Preferably when it's balmy, I suppose.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:00, Reply)
I need to write these down...

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:05, Reply)
I wouldn't bother, they both look like nonsense to me

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:12, Reply)
All rules are

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:16, Reply)
Morning WP!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:26, Reply)
Hello SF

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:15, Reply)
If I wish you a good morning in return
will you bother to reply, or will I be left hanging?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:43, Reply)
say what you like about the days of the grrregime, but at least you were almost guaranteed a response in the morning thread

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:50, Reply)
He was a tyrant
but we respected his dictatorship. Many disappeared, many died, but the train ran on time and people respected each other's nans
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:56, Reply)
only three months til christmas!!!!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:48, Reply)
yes!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:50, Reply)
I'm just giving everyone vouchers this year

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:08, Reply)
Mince pies are now on sale in the supermarkets
thank fuck
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:55, Reply)
The most limp-wristed of pies.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:03, Reply)
Especially in puff pastry...

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:06, Reply)
I like a Coventry God cake

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:13, Reply)
not a patch on Luton Allah cake

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:28, Reply)
#creepingsharia

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:35, Reply)
or Bournemouth Buddha Buns

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:36, Reply)
which is actually my Gaydar 'handle'

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:36, Reply)
cool
chek ur msgs x x x
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:41, Reply)
Like what you see?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:42, Reply)
hell yeah!

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:44, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:43, Reply)
Talmud Tart
which is MY gaydar handle
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:43, Reply)
I've Singed my Swansea Sikh Scones

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:49, Reply)
This is good news

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:03, Reply)
a time to rejoice in the good that we see

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:09, Reply)
Hi.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:49, Reply)
Howdy doody

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 8:55, Reply)
Bit cheerful for a Monday.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:06, Reply)
Bonjour tout le monde

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:18, Reply)
Ouh là là.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:19, Reply)
I know, sexy, right?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:26, Reply)
My beret's about to give off steam, I can tell you.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:27, Reply)
cheers

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:19, Reply)
cheers

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:21, Reply)
Cheers

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:53, Reply)
sup

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:27, Reply)
what up g

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:30, Reply)
Brexit

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:28, Reply)
bless you
lol
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:30, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:39, Reply)
I was quite tempted to sell up and move to France when I was there in the summer

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:38, Reply)
I considered it a few years back
We found a 4 bed cottage, with an orchard, stables, a workshop...beautiful place, and about half the value of my house here.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:43, Reply)
Noice.
Was it in the middle of nowhere, though?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:45, Reply)
oh, of course
But that suits me fine
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:46, Reply)
Mmmh.
A friend of a friend bought a farmstead in Creuse for tuppence ha'penny and now spends his weekends learning to be a blacksmith.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:48, Reply)
man, I'd love that

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:49, Reply)
the place I was looking at was in Creuse

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:58, Reply)
^keen to go Creuseing

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:59, Reply)
I think Creuse has the cheapest property in France.
Plus you've basically got the place to yourself as hardly anyone lives there.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:07, Reply)
apart from hundreds of ex-pat brits enjoying the rural isolation

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:15, Reply)
Yeah well I bought Uzbekistan for 50p

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:49, Reply)
50p Uzbekist-ham, that's lunch sorted.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:51, Reply)
You and I are very much in sync today, it seems

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:52, Reply)
It was only a matter of time before our periods synched up.
Pass the Dairy Milk.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:53, Reply)
^Joey Fatone

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:08, Reply)
*strikes through uzbekistan and replaces with month's worth of ham*

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:51, Reply)

smith
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:49, Reply)
the downside being it was in rural France with no opportunities to work to fund my lavish lifestyle
although if I could write a bestselling book whilst living off the difference from the sale of my house here ...
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:48, Reply)
I could just as easily do my current job from France
Assuming they had a decent internet connection, obvs
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:50, Reply)
oh sure so could I
but that doesn't mean they'd let me
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:59, Reply)
Well, there is that

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:00, Reply)
One of my wife's colleagues moved from Frankfurt to southern Spain and hasn't told anyone
He's got away with this for about 6 months
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:02, Reply)
Ha!
I did an interpreting assignment in Paris recently involving the disciplinary hearing of a woman who got hired on a very comfortable salary to be a marketing manager in Paris, and promptly delegated almost all her responsibilities to her secretary and fucked off to Nice. Got away with it for about nine months.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:03, Reply)
haha, 'Nice' work if you can get it!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:04, Reply)
Ha, nice work
Few years back, I took my laptop to the inlaws, so I could indulge at their all-day christmas party. I just checked the laptop every 30 minutes or so. Worked like a charm.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:04, Reply)
"A Year In Provence" was quite an enjoyable read.
"A Year In The Merde" was shit.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:58, Reply)
+pizza oven

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:48, Reply)
Nah
I'd set fire to the stable, and cook off that
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:50, Reply)
You could probably claim a portion of that £350m p/w that they have off us.
#takebackcontrol
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:44, Reply)
Apparenty one of my friends posted on facebook
that once we leave the EU, we'll have enough money to give everyone in the country a million quid each. After a few people asked him how this was possible, he deleted it. Might have been trolling, but I'm not convinced he's smart enough.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:48, Reply)
"Anonymous" want to make everyone rich by wiping out all debt, apparently.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:54, Reply)
I love those guys!
I liked it when they 'took out' the Church of Scientology by sending them loads of faxes
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:04, Reply)
Based on what I've seen on Mr Robot, the sudden eradication of all debt might have some unwanted consequences.
Hopefully they'll have it all sorted out by the end of series 2, and then I can go back to thinking that it might be a good idea.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:05, Reply)
I didn't bother with that beyond series 1
It's probably more enjoyable if you haven't already seen Fight Club.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:08, Reply)
I'm enjoying it.
Fight Club is hardly the only story to use the "split personality" twist, so I think it's still fair game. Excellent performances, too.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:14, Reply)
No, but combine that with the 'anonymous/project mayhem' thing
and it's basically the same story. Except not quite as good.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:10, Reply)
I gave up after series 1 as well

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:01, Reply)
I'm no banker but I fear that might destabilise the pound

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:57, Reply)
You're friends with Boris Johnson?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 9:58, Reply)
from AC/DC?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:03, Reply)
I don't know, do I?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:10, Reply)
can confirm

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:12, Reply)
Was offered by an extended family member this weekend a "Debit card shield to stop scammers stealing your card details from your pocket"
When asked where she saw this to buy this, Facebook.

Facebook, where mugs are mugged.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:07, Reply)


(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:08, Reply)
I keep seeing adverts for cut price SD cards and balisongs.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:20, Reply)
Way to find out you are in the C2DE bracket :(

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:36, Reply)
Facebook also thinks I'm a fat, lonely virgin.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:44, Reply)
Morning bollocks
it's 10:07
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:07, Reply)
An extended family member's wife this weekend shook down various people to buy her husband a set of Bose headphones for his birthday
I know for a fact his love of music extends to the best of Oasis, and that they will probably be used to listen to calming music and whale noises instead of vinyl and Super Audio recordings.

The rage about this is still burning in me 2 days later.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:12, Reply)
^ upset

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:17, Reply)
Charles Bradley's death this weekend hasn't helped tbh
:(
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:23, Reply)
I'm going to listen to a low fidelity mp3 of his music, through a pair of cheap ear buds.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:25, Reply)
The bloke next to me on the tram this morning was listening to loud tinny R'n'B on his phone,
so I turned to ask him if he could, maybe, you know, wear headphones to listen to his music in public. Then I saw that he was wearing headphones.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:27, Reply)
Remeber when R&B was Rhythm &, Blues, eh?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:52, Reply)
yes
Related news: I've taken delivery of Different Strokes by Syl Johnson today

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AizWO6UNok

It wasn't cheap
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:02, Reply)

Syl Johnson Alan Thicke
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:20, Reply)
Yep. I still think it's a bit baffling how they just took a musical genre and decided it was going to mean something else from now on.
If I brought out a record featuring the sound of a dozen chainsaws, a flock of chickens and Gregorian monks singing in Arabic, and I called it a country song, would the record shops list it as such?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:06, Reply)
Remeber remeber the fifth of Noveber

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 11:14, Reply)
Ain't
It a sin
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:30, Reply)
He was great, although I'll confess my ignorance of the man up until he had a cameo in an episode of Luke Cage.

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:33, Reply)
What's wrong with listening to what you want on nice equipment?

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:24, Reply)
Sub <£150 lesser brand equipment is fine for that
£350+ headphones to listen to whales fucking. Not even marine biologists would spunk cash like that
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:28, Reply)
Piggo

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 10:16, Reply)
Good morning, fellow cyberspazzes

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 7:45, Reply)
Hullo

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 7:49, Reply)
Hiya

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 7:52, Reply)
ready for Germany to start World War III as well?
right-wing parties all over Europe fucking shit wank paedo cunts die murder kill

alt:
rip everyone that dies every second on Earth
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 18:24, Reply)
the cash machine down the road
has the words "Earth is flat" scrawled on it

everything has gone a bit weird, hasn't it
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 18:31, Reply)
in a different universe I would think you must be living in a dumb-as-fuck neighbourhood
but in this universe we seem to be living on a dumb-as-fuck planet
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 18:35, Reply)
A few years ago a cash machine around the corner from my mums
Decided to spew its contents onto the street.

In the local rag the week later there was a very serious appeal for everyone that found money to return it.

The week later £0 had been returned to the bank.

I think there is something for us all to learn from this tale.
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 20:26, Reply)
Shut up wood-o, Merkin is still in

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 18:55, Reply)
true,
and AfD only got about 13% of the vote, about the same as UKIP got here in 2015
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 19:13, Reply)
just sayin, only a bunch of dumbtwats is for intolerance and nationalist ideals

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 19:38, Reply)
Oh well, nothing to worry about then.

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 21:18, Reply)
well UKIP have been practically wiped out since then,
so there's some hope
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 21:34, Reply)
But they've sent the mainstream parties on an even more right-wing and pernicious course to win back votes.

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 21:51, Reply)
i'd hardly say Labour has gone on a right-wing course,
somewhat the opposite. It's only the Tories who have done that and it's actually not gone well for them so far.
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 22:31, Reply)
Labour keep umming and ahhhing about appearing xenophobic, then they get gunned for it and don't appear any more inclusive either.

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 22:52, Reply)
Labour are fucking pricks.
Why no conference vote on brexit? Because Corbyn is a deluded and incompetent wanker.
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 23:33, Reply)
What are you on about?

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 19:18, Reply)
No one really knows
We just accept it now
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 20:25, Reply)
That'll be five credits for multiple violations of the beeter morality statute

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 19:21, Reply)
duck fuck

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 19:28, Reply)
penis

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 19:28, Reply)
ballbrain

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 19:28, Reply)
not sure

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 19:28, Reply)
Dribble

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 20:27, Reply)
$$

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 20:46, Reply)
lol

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 20:47, Reply)
I am sure in Demolition Man it was "Murder, Death, Kill"

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 20:25, Reply)
Hi gay's!
I saw It last night. Dozerscore: 6 out of 10.
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 21:53, Reply)
Prick

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 22:47, Reply)
Paedo.

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 23:13, Reply)
That's libellous.
You might want to rethink that post.
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 23:50, Reply)
He's a fucking prick
I have already started legal action.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 0:03, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/notme/post1356108
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 0:09, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jItz-uNjoZA
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 0:07, Reply)
That's not really something I wanted in my browser history, tbh

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 0:09, Reply)

http://kimberleynow.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/e1499935467124.jpg
(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 0:06, Reply)
BedKNOBS & BroomsDICKS
Hahaha get it?
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 15:16, Reply)
I guess nobody gets it

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 15:45, Reply)
I get as much as I want and I drive a fast car

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 15:54, Reply)
Alright 'Tracy Chapman'

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 16:38, Reply)
don't antagonise him
he's got a plan to get us out of here
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 16:51, Reply)
Across the Lines, no doubt.

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 17:02, Reply)
under the bridge

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 17:03, Reply)
chasin that sunset

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 17:07, Reply)
or a troll

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 17:08, Reply)
^Sugar Bear

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 18:14, Reply)
what's that got to do with my knob?

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 15:54, Reply)
Dunno what they soz

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 15:56, Reply)
/talk should have a best-comment-of-the-day-section on the fp for gold like this

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 16:00, Reply)
Oh, I most certainly do.

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 16:15, Reply)
Quality fuck-up from the evening Times here.
www.eveningtimes.co.uk/news/15554371.amp/
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 16:58, Reply)
Alles ist in mordning

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 8:04, Reply)
Ja

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 8:15, Reply)
I'm going to celebrate my return to the UK by roasting a chicken

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 8:26, Reply)
GS?

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 8:38, Reply)
defo

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 8:39, Reply)
Naturellement, Captain 'astings

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 9:02, Reply)
Make sure you put up a little sign saying "giblets out!"

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 9:16, Reply)
for the lads?

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 14:11, Reply)
if you like

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 15:54, Reply)
u r a cockwomble lol

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 8:38, Reply)
No m8 dat is u

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 9:07, Reply)
oh

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 9:11, Reply)
Making good use of the dicks that he finds?

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 13:54, Reply)
F

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 9:46, Reply)
Essen Mein Scheiße

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 9:48, Reply)
Spraying noxious substances y/n

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 10:24, Reply)
Erry day m8

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 10:30, Reply)
Deutschland votes today
what could possibly go wrong?
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 11:01, Reply)
12 years a Merkel

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 11:04, Reply)
On a Sunday?

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 14:28, Reply)
yes

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 15:09, Reply)
This whole thread is starting to look very antipodean?

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 15:09, Reply)

$$
(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 16:18, Reply)
Alright dribble

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 16:46, Reply)
Bunch of cockwombles

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 14:58, Reply)
T3h trouser!!!!!
You incest springbok!!!!
(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 15:22, Reply)
Total flangewilly of wankvoles!!!

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 16:50, Reply)
+it's 5:05pm

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 17:05, Reply)
lol

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 17:57, Reply)
He's a total pissotter!

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 17:25, Reply)
Charles Bradley has carked it :(

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 19:12, Reply)
I'd not heard of him until I watched Luke Cage on Netflix.

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 7:52, Reply)
jesus mary and the holy ghost

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 1:13, Reply)
that's not quite how the holy trinity works, mr. h

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 2:07, Reply)
$$

(, Sun 24 Sep 2017, 15:51, Reply)
Wow hello

(, Mon 25 Sep 2017, 18:47, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8117267
(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 5:52, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8117257
(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 8:35, Reply)
Fisting On A Pancake With Chris Eubank It's 8:43AM

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 8:43, Reply)
*slits wrists*

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 8:49, Reply)

s1.b3ta.com/host/creative/84237/1506153274/rjts.jpg
(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 8:55, Reply)
Hahahaha
Timestamped 2009
(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 8:58, Reply)
Funny old game, innit

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 8:55, Reply)
No m8

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 8:59, Reply)
Then what am I laughing at?

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 9:00, Reply)
Ur pelmit

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 9:23, Reply)
It's a valance m8

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 13:08, Reply)
It's only my birthday.

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 9:43, Reply)
Happy birthday friendo

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 9:51, Reply)
I'm badgers today.
Hopefully bacon will be my saviour.
(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 9:51, Reply)
Coffee with a shot in it, get back on your horse, soldier

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 10:11, Reply)
Bacon and a beer m8. Just get back on it.

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 10:44, Reply)
HPBD2U Jeff u fucken #ledge

(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 10:10, Reply)
#hapberf to Jeff yeah
Just been dahn to LIDL and they're doing currywurst because it's almost Oktoberfest season.

Going to get some charcoal now, fire up the barbecue and have a piss artist of an afternoon.
(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 11:49, Reply)
Alright pricks's
Went out on the lash for the first time in months, now I'm reminded why I stopped going out on the lash months ago

Happy real candles day Jeff
(, Sat 23 Sep 2017, 14:15, Reply)
fuck you thread

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:35, Reply)
I am Banksy AMA!

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:37, Reply)
Why are you such a prick with about as much originality as Jack Vettriano?

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:57, Reply)
It's your fault

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:10, Reply)
up yours, Beefy

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:06, Reply)
No u

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:10, Reply)
have you ever considered moving on from GCSE level politics?

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:24, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:38, Reply)
shit in my mouth

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:07, Reply)

𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:42, Reply)
porksword, more like

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:07, Reply)

😂 Who wrote this? 😂

fuck you thread

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:17, Reply)

fᵤcₖ yₒᵤ
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 22:20, Reply)
h

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:24, Reply)

😂 Who wrote this? 😂

h

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:46, Reply)
Been out for bbq and beer, finishing the night with some acid.
Woo, massive drugs!

Ascorbic acid in a hot lemon drink, as I've got a cold coming on.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:36, Reply)
Cheerz

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:46, Reply)
penisgobbler

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 22:26, Reply)
Alright, fannie's.
I've just been to see 'It'. It was crap.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 21:51, Reply)
I read that it strays somewhat from the book

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 22:01, Reply)
I read that bumholes

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 22:26, Reply)

read that lick
lol
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 22:48, Reply)
There's way too much upset in Richards rubbish thread of crap.
What's your plan for tonight? My dad just text to ask if I had any hash, so it could be a mellow evening.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:10, Reply)
Train back from Edinburgh until about 9pm.
Mungo's Hifi are up so I might get mashed ace listen to some dub.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:14, Reply)
How was Edinburgh?

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:24, Reply)
So-so, only popped down for an interview. Went OK, but I'd have preferred the train to have not broken down and make me phone up and push it back.

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:34, Reply)
I blame Thatcher

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:38, Reply)
I've looked at jobs there before, there are loads of wealth management jobs and a few large providers.
Are you in fintech?
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:44, Reply)
Not at the moment. Not convinced I want to be though.
Seems a bit high pressure for something I've not much interest in.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:51, Reply)
Fuck being interested in it, its massive right now. Huge money being spent.

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:59, Reply)
'fintech'

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:29, Reply)
Yes mate. You may not like the word, but that's what it's called.

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:32, Reply)
finitribe

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:43, Reply)
Nylon.

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:48, Reply)
I've got the forevergreen ep.
#interesting #mick
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:49, Reply)
Any good?
I only heard of them from reading Chris C's book
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:59, Reply)
it's dolphins right isn't it obviously yes it's about dolphins

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:19, Reply)
Chilling with my kittens and wanking to tranny porn, standard.

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:16, Reply)
Snoop Dogg's first draft still 'needs work'.

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:17, Reply)
Get fucked

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:22, Reply)
No, you.

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:24, Reply)
Might boil some vegetables

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:23, Reply)
"Investigation launched after home for special needs children filled with boiling water"

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:25, Reply)
Sat outside a pizzeria sipping on Greco di Tufo, laid back, with my arse on the dunny and my money on my mind

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:24, Reply)
nel nudo?

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:26, Reply)
Robert Del Nudo

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:27, Reply)
Is he Banksy?
Probably
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:29, Reply)
No.
Their styles are totally different. And in any case, Banksy is Robin Gunningham. He used the name 'Robin Banks' when he started out then shortened it to Banksy.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:56, Reply)
My dad never did any drugs,
although he did once admit to having been a glue sniffer.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:26, Reply)
I think that counts as doing drugs

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:26, Reply)
I do, too.
Doesn't stop him from having an "all drugs are bad" attitude.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:27, Reply)
he might have been forgiven for developing an "all drugs are incredibly sticky" attitude really mightn't he

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:17, Reply)
My mum accused me of that based on me being a spotty teenager and her smelling glue in my room.
I was glueing 2 bits of plastic together with poly cement at the time.

Joke's on her, I was regularly smoking soap bar.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:37, Reply)
I never sniffed glue, bit I did enjoy a carrier bag of spray paint.

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:38, Reply)
Solvents give me a headache.
Fuck knows how they're supposed to be fun.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:41, Reply)
^

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:30, Reply)
you're supposed to stick models together with them

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:36, Reply)
Dope on a rope?

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:40, Reply)
going to the theatre
never done drugs with my dad
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:00, Reply)
<s>tools</s> drugs
b3ta.com/calendar/event/25546
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:07, Reply)
going around the town telling people the dangers of drugs

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:09, Reply)
What are the danger?

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:19, Reply)
shitting your pants

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:33, Reply)
Can confirm

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:14, Reply)
Your leg had grow

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 19:45, Reply)
drinking

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 20:16, Reply)
We bought my kid a massive Spongebob in his pyjamas and nightcap toy
When we came back from the beach the maid had tucked him up in our bed. It was insufferably cute so I immediately blocked the bog with a red wine turbo log to redress the balance of the universe.

But why are banned user Dozer's threads so shit and how would you kill him?
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 15:49, Reply)

a) it's your fault and b) old age.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 15:50, Reply)
that's beautifully poetic
probably a prison shiv
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 15:51, Reply)

Because aliens

and suffocated by Lola Ferrari's tits
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 15:51, Reply)
Eew

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 15:54, Reply)
in a tortilla?

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:00, Reply)
Do you have one of those maids who make animal shapes with the towels?
They're always good for a laugh.

"Banned" user Dozer's threads are so shit because he never puts the slightest effort into them whatsoever, and I'd tie him to a chair in front of a PC setup that would deliver a 10-second charge of 2000 volts every time he typed 'alright', and because he'd never figure out the connection, he'd electrocute himself in the space of a quarter of an hour.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 15:58, Reply)
You're upset about posts and threads that you can't even see.
So much so that you are wishing a painful death on someone you've never met.

I sincerely hope that you get the help and emotional support that you desperately need.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:22, Reply)
^logged out to call another poster upset

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:48, Reply)
After inspecting a reply to a Spanish post I notice he's still naming me as a nemisis and making a point of PUBLICLY IGNORING ME ONLINE.
The reason for this is because I got fed up of his bollocks and put him on ignore, lol. Needless to say he's having the last laugh.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:51, Reply)
THE CAPSLOCK OF VICTORY

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:59, Reply)
Worse spear of destiny tribute act ever.

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 18:07, Reply)
I'm not the one who used 2.0 mate, no shame on me for using an incognito tab.
2.0 is only used by wankers, and if yeti is right about only wankers being put in 2.0 in the first place then he should probably take careful note that he's on more ignore lists than I am.

My point still stands about being him being hugely upset by threads and posts that he has opted out of seeing. That's equal parts pathetic and worrying.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:59, Reply)
I couldn't kill him, it's against my beliefs
I'd just subject him to a lifetime of subtle psychological abuse
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:00, Reply)
bacon slicer. from the feet up. while he's still conscious.
i'm slightly worried that that was in autocomplete
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:01, Reply)
Now I'm glad they're banned
Dear Dave,

As you may have heard, the Mayor and Transport for London have announced they will not be renewing Uberís licence to operate in our city when it expires on 30 September.

We are sure Londoners will be as astounded as we are by this decision. By trying to ban the app from the capital, the Mayor and Transport for London have caved in to a small number of people who want to restrict consumer choice.

Not only will this decision deprive you of the choice of a convenient way of getting about town, it will also put more than 40,000 licensed drivers who rely on our app out of work.

We will be immediately challenging this decision in court.

If you want to continue using the Uber app in London - and to defend the livelihoods of 40,000 licensed drivers - please sign this petition urging the Mayor to think again.

Tom Elvidge,
Uber London
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:03, Reply)
bit over-familiar

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:04, Reply)
Exactly

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:30, Reply)
Fuck Tom

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:05, Reply)
throw a fucking pumpkin spice soy mocha latte right in Tom's face

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:06, Reply)
All Toms are risible wankers who deserve every shitty curveball that life throws them and I sincerely hope that they all get given a whole of life sentence for something they didn't do, after being fitted up by a cabal of the police, judges and politician

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:10, Reply)
even Tom Baker?

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:12, Reply)

Especially Tom Baker.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:14, Reply)
Dr Poo, I call him!

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:17, Reply)
nonono, you're thinking of Colin Baker

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:22, Reply)
He was a good Doctor Who!
But the Trial of a Time lord arc was rubbish.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:38, Reply)
:'(

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:20, Reply)
Tims though.

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:40, Reply)
Aye, Celtic supporters are fucken tubes eh

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:53, Reply)
bit gay

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:07, Reply)
Doing well with my customers today, just had Mrs Bienfahrt
guff to death
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 16:20, Reply)
I stayed in an old-school hotel a while back where you hand your keys to the porter when you nip out.
Which made doing a load of slugs in our room then nipping out for a tab a fun challenge.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:12, Reply)
Slugs?

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:19, Reply)
Fat lines of gak

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:30, Reply)
Ah, 'hangman's ropes'

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:49, Reply)
Aye.
A while back a shortarsed mate managed to tip the shit pot in my local trying to get nose-height with the windowsill. How we laughed.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:53, Reply)
Massive drugs.

(, Fri 22 Sep 2017, 17:53, Reply)

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