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Moose

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 19:42, Reply)
^ best first post ever

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 19:55, Reply)
Pens!

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 20:12, Reply)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 15:21, Reply)
hello world

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 15:32, Reply)
The minions film is not very good

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 15:33, Reply)
beware of any film that is practically guaranteed an audience

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 15:39, Reply)
My kids wanted to see it, but we all agree sponge Bob was better

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 15:48, Reply)
Shame, my kids are mad keen for that.
Didn't bother with Spongebob, as I think it's a pretty crappy cartoon.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 18:58, Reply)
alright

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 15:45, Reply)
+ga do do do
push pineapple shake the tree
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 16:33, Reply)
One of those fellas must be on the offenders list

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 16:57, Reply)
pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
ooma mow mow papa ooma mow mow
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 16:39, Reply)
^ typical coon cat

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 16:42, Reply)
thunder and lightning

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 16:45, Reply)
THREADRUSH!
what's for lunch?
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 12:25, Reply)
I microwaved a burger, left over from yesterday's BBQ.
It was good, so I'm having another one.
Nothing for the missus, though, she's sleeping off a hangover.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 12:57, Reply)
i had vegetable soup with blue cheese on toast
really fucking nice
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 14:00, Reply)
how do you get the soup to stay on the toast?

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 16:27, Reply)
i put the soup in a bowl and i dip the toast in

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 16:44, Reply)
afternoon.
I'm keeping this place alive.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 12:08, Reply)
Man, I can't wait until evening.

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 12:10, Reply)
This place would be dead on its arse if you would just stop interfering

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 12:23, Reply)
actual lol

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 19:56, Reply)
morning.

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 8:05, Reply)
alright

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 8:10, Reply)
Aye, not too shabby. How about yourself, mongy?

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 8:13, Reply)
All cool, just waiting on the kids to arise from their nocturnal slumber

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 8:29, Reply)
Mine have got karate grading today.
Those dudes are all smiles, but you can tell deep down they're itching to just fold your face around their fists.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 8:34, Reply)
That'll be the long term plan, my girl has got up and started doing her homework because if it's not done no minions film today

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 8:43, Reply)
Facebook has made me hate minions more than is reasonable.
Almost any old shit can be attached to a picture of a minion and posted to the adulation of several thousand shut-ins.
I'm thinking of a making a series of minion pics with utterly abhorrent opinions on them to see how far they're reposted.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 9:02, Reply)
It does look like they've spent more on flood advertising than the product, I will no doubt see later

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 9:43, Reply)
do it
I bet I'll see it at least three times on my newsfeed
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 10:45, Reply)
Maybe a couple of Hitler speeches.

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 11:34, Reply)
here's a start, use it as you wish
b3ta.com/board/11160669
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 14:32, Reply)
Morning

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 8:25, Reply)
It is.
Although for you, I expect this morning started earlier than you'd like.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 8:34, Reply)
You know this.
Far far too early. Still at least this morning I woke up in my own bed and not on a blue plastic mattress on the hospital floor like the last 5 nights
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 14:00, Reply)
morning CB

(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 10:46, Reply)
Morning Major.
The troops are well, I trust?
(, Sun 5 Jul 2015, 11:15, Reply)
COCKNOCKER

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 12:46, Reply)
I just read that US golfer Bubba Watson is going to paint over the confederate flag on the ROOF of the car that was in Dukes of Hazzard.
The same flag that Dylann ROOF, the suspect of the murder of 9 churchgoers, was seen holding in several photos.

Coincidence? I don't think so.
(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 13:12, Reply)
Pretty sure if you were to do some numerological research you'd find loads of numbers between 1 and 11 that match perfectly, too.

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 13:20, Reply)
Im at a school fete drinking beer, it's alright, no idea where my kids are

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 13:31, Reply)
I was looking forward to having a beer with this afternoons BBQ,
before I remembered that I have to drive the wife to and from a hen party, this evening.
(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 13:49, Reply)
Can't she get a cab?

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 14:09, Reply)
Carry on Cabby is on.

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 14:43, Reply)
That's a good one

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 14:51, Reply)
Indeed
https://i.imgur.com/n0WF2Mi.jpg
(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 13:37, Reply)
is this off the new trek wars

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 13:53, Reply)
hamill's finest role

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 14:41, Reply)
What else would attract attention at a cockdoor?

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 15:43, Reply)
a bellend

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 20:50, Reply)
Review corner.
#342 The Barking Folk Festival

'this is bollocks, dad'
(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 19:29, Reply)
you need to be barking to go, Oh hahahaha

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 19:43, Reply)
Morning

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 7:40, Reply)
Morning dearest b, I'm just off to sidcup

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 8:47, Reply)
Morning.
I've just been gently chided for not skateboarding.
(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 10:15, Reply)
Skateboarding is not a crime

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 10:18, Reply)
marnin

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 12:09, Reply)
Afternoon.
I have been sewing and gluing a very large snake.
(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 12:41, Reply)
pics or stfu

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 13:11, Reply)
Turns out I'm half Tiger
Honestly, I'm not lion

(it's better spoken than read)
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:48, Reply)
that's not a lion it's a giraffe

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:51, Reply)
ibex your certain of that

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:57, Reply)
like iron, like zion...?
oh - like a misjudged laugh or social gaff...
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:57, Reply)
stick yer neck out - like a giraffe

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:59, Reply)
arms like teapots

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:59, Reply)
opinions to spout

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 0:01, Reply)
more than they can handle
just scream and shout
(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 0:04, Reply)
they can't help but do it all the time
And must be quite envious of short necked show-offs like owls
(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 0:01, Reply)

A wise old owl lived in an oak
The more he saw the less he spoke
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?
(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 0:05, Reply)
alright gigglywiggly

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:51, Reply)
Feck

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:55, Reply)
Woooha

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:58, Reply)
^got you all in check

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 4:20, Reply)
trudat

(, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 4:33, Reply)
No thread since 3pm?
How about a pun thread?

Bingo callers numbers / /talk members
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:30, Reply)
lol ignored

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:35, Reply)
A spanish and a 5
spanish 5
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:43, Reply)
all the threes,
Mr Three
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:52, Reply)
you know what
i'm not sure there's much scope for comedy here tbh
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:53, Reply)
I cant think of any puns right now
Can we change the nature of the thread?
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:44, Reply)
far too hot for that sort of thing
not that i'm complaining or owt
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:54, Reply)
alright b3ta, what's shaking?

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 20:51, Reply)
Michael J Fox
/edgy
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 20:58, Reply)
it's a kind of trembling vibration

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 21:17, Reply)
Nice one, thanks

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 21:30, Reply)
Stevens first name.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 21:42, Reply)
I reckon he's on the yewtree list

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 21:43, Reply)
Voted best ever welsh Singer

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 22:06, Reply)
he was great in the 70s

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 22:07, Reply)
My mum loved him at first, like a young Elvis, dirty old cow

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 22:20, Reply)
Me in the mornings, dt's innit, oh hahahaha

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 22:05, Reply)
my sweetest m
etc

always
b xx
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 22:30, Reply)
dearest b,
Ive got the shits, acidic water pouring out my arse

m
X
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 22:50, Reply)
fuck reditt thread
Who gives a shit.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:02, Reply)
You've stomped on my apple thread.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:05, Reply)
your apple thread was shit
No jazz apples involved
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:13, Reply)
Not even my comical misreading of 2Hats reply?
Sorry, man. There's an ice cream thread on OT, maybe you'd enjoy that?
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:24, Reply)
ot is full of cunts at this time of day
Think I'll go post on /bafr
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:26, Reply)
OT is full of cunts at any time of day.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:36, Reply)
whatit?

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:07, Reply)
Your Bumholiness

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:14, Reply)
hey dude
alright?
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:18, Reply)
have to use fucking /links now

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:22, Reply)
turdles

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:25, Reply)
3/7 :/

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:58, Reply)
2/7

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 16:21, Reply)
9/11

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 17:50, Reply)
5/4/3/2/1

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 19:19, Reply)
Today's apple was Pink Lady, not Jazz.
I wasn't overly impressed.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:27, Reply)
hi

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:31, Reply)
mono

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:54, Reply)
Shame, they're my personal favourite

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:31, Reply)
Foreigner are quite an underrated band

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:47, Reply)
They are?

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:53, Reply)
They've done some great songs, yet no one says "foreigner are great".

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:10, Reply)
Might have another, in a bit.
See if it's any better. The Jazz'll take some beating, though.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:53, Reply)
Jazz apples are excellent
Perhaps is a seasonal thing. I haven't had a pink lady in a little while.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:53, Reply)
Me neither.
Had to make do with a wank, last night.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:55, Reply)
Yikes!

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:59, Reply)
This place got busy after reddit shit the bed
EDIT: *Shat the bed
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:35, Reply)
I don't understand a single word of that sentence

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:37, Reply)
I think its a gay thing

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:40, Reply)
nope
check with your dad's lover if you don't believe me
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:41, Reply)
Oh! Hahahaha
You know what I like about that? It's CLEVER
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:44, Reply)
She an expert on gays?

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:45, Reply)
She? 'She' has a name you know

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:47, Reply)
Ok, sorry
Is Brian an expert on gays?
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:56, Reply)
Aww, this is like Dan the Big Man, remember him?
Classic /talk.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:17, Reply)
wut?

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:44, Reply)
they sacked a admin without warning
now the userbase and mods have gone full retard
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:50, Reply)
wut?

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:56, Reply)
YOU'RE KIDDING ME???
They sacked a admin?? Which one? That's outrageous! And the userbase and mods have gone FULL retard? Well this is a NIGHTMARE!
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:01, Reply)
Actually, before you answer:
A) What is a admin?
B) What is a userbase?
C) What does 'full retard' mean?
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:02, Reply)
I know what a mod is, I've seen quadrophenia

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:02, Reply)
admins are the paid staff who run the site
userbase means the people who use the site
full retard = flounce only more so
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:11, Reply)
what's an flounce?

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:10, Reply)
Even with an explanation, I'm none the wiser
What's a 'Reddit'?
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:23, Reply)

38.media.tumblr.com/be3461ee013d8edc662d28764f7489fa/tumblr_msmhovbYMq1qedb29o1_500.gif
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:11, Reply)
That film is fucking shit

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:14, Reply)
are you saying a bunch of coked-up alcoholic musicians past their prime don't know how to make a good film?

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:18, Reply)
The who wernt even mods, just a pop band latching on to trends

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:21, Reply)
I like the one about the spider though

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:25, Reply)
Userbase:
A user of freebase; a crackhead.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:11, Reply)
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, I BLAME GAY MARRIAGE

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:05, Reply)
I believe the correct participle is "shat".

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:50, Reply)
thanks

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:51, Reply)
I was just looking at your profile,
It says you came 7th in the b3tan hot or not competition scoreboards.hotornot.com/b3tards?page=0
and sell t-shirts at cafepress.com/tescostan. You dull, lifeless, spastic.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:02, Reply)
M-M-M-M-M-MONSTER KILL!!!!

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:38, Reply)
Thats what I get for not updating that in years
but you got me.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 15:17, Reply)
5/7
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-33362255
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 10:30, Reply)
bonus quiz for cycling pricks
i got 100%

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/bike-blog/2015/jul/03/road-tax-red-lights-and-lycra-the-cycling-ignorance-quiz
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 10:31, Reply)
Why make a quiz where all the answers are so blindingly obvious

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 10:44, Reply)
they did it with tongue firmly in the vicinity of cheek

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 10:45, Reply)
They could've made it funny or something at least.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 10:49, Reply)
The only thing funny about the Guardian is...
wait, I'm sure I'll think if something.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:12, Reply)
I imagine you write for them then?

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:22, Reply)
That's really insulting.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:28, Reply)
nobody writes for the guardian, they splurge liberal opinion guff on to a page
and lap up reactionary comments from all sides of the political spectrum
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:35, Reply)
You're only saying this because you hate black people and women.
I can remember when I used to buy the newspaper and read it in my lunch break. All seems dreadfully quaint, now.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:50, Reply)
a meagre 3
:(
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:05, Reply)
Lowering your cholesterol tho

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:08, Reply)
yeah but it's supposed to be good for the brain unless those fish finger ads were lying to me

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:12, Reply)
a daily intake of 250 mg of DHA contributes to maintenance of normal brain function
just sayin
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:24, Reply)
I remember when you could be guaranteed 300% of your RDA of DTH on /board, good times.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:12, Reply)
There's negligible amounts of Omega-3 in fish fingers, I heard.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:26, Reply)
mongy once again proving why he's the best forum user

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:30, Reply)
i've been playing with that google 'dreams' thing and fed it an old classic
i.imgur.com/D7zG1m2.jpg
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:49, Reply)
Ehrmagurd.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:54, Reply)
I don't really understand this Deep Dreams thing
Could someone explain it to me as if I were a 5 year old?
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:57, Reply)
not until you've finished all of what's on your plate

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:59, Reply)
I HATE CARROTS

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:02, Reply)
If you don't shut up and go to sleep,
the monster in the cupboard will eat you.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:00, Reply)
*hides behind sofa*

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:02, Reply)
We were watching some classic Doctor Who, last night, and the kids were openly mocking the special effects.
In fairness, the monster was obviously made out of bubble wrap, so it was difficult to be scared.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:08, Reply)
It's difficult to understand why people were afraid of those shows
It's not like the victorians who went to see film footage of a steam train. It was only the bloody 70's.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:13, Reply)
I remember being unsettled by The Malus,
although it was just a stone face with glowing green eyes. Everything else was amusing, but hardly the stuff of nightmares. That said, I used to dislike walking past the life-sized Dalek model that lurked on the mezzanine in the local Waterstones.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:20, Reply)
it's an algorithm that looks for recognisable shapes and patterns
it's what google uses when you try and search an image
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:12, Reply)
Ok
So why does it alter the images?
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:13, Reply)
good question! i guess it replaces bits of the pic with what it thinks they are in order to more easily find other pics the same

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:19, Reply)
First killer robots, now this?
It's the end of times, man
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 12:26, Reply)
wank time

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:58, Reply)
Same here, not too shabby.
Can someone explain to me how Katy Perry is successful enough to be able, in principle, to buy an entire convent?

Her music's shit, she's not remotely interesting beyond some manufactured 'controversy' over her stupid song about being an attention-seeking pseudo-lesbian and she's not even particularly fit.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 13:09, Reply)
If you had big tits and were willing to shag Russell Brand,
you could have been successful, too.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 14:21, Reply)
BUMHOLES

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:06, Reply)
Now that's what I'm talking about.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:08, Reply)
morning Mr h
Prick
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:16, Reply)
Morning Oz

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:23, Reply)
F.A.H.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:23, Reply)
fah fah fah fah fah fah fah fah fah fah





better
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:28, Reply)
qu'est-ce que c'est?

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:30, Reply)
dunno

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:37, Reply)
je m'apelle Richard.
J'habite a Londres.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 9:15, Reply)
Get you!
Ou est le bibliotheque?
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 9:26, Reply)
La boulangerie est a droit m8

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 9:31, Reply)
The bakery is entitled
?
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 9:34, Reply)
y

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 11:00, Reply)
Je suis Streetlife
BON TOIMES
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 9:35, Reply)
zut alors!

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 10:59, Reply)
I wish I could be like David Watts.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 9:56, Reply)
a long long way to run

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:28, Reply)
how do you do

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:29, Reply)
and how

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:30, Reply)
I was woken up this morning, as opposed to waking up naturally
and now I don't know Up from Left
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:36, Reply)
yeah me too
stupid kids
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:43, Reply)
I've trained the little thing in our house to stay quietly in her room if she wakes up early.
Bliss
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:53, Reply)
my youngest is pretty good at this, but the eldest has always been a needy prick
/fobtm
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 8:58, Reply)
I blame the parents

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 9:14, Reply)
it's always the parents fault.

(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 9:37, Reply)
Hello, morning thread.
Sorry I'm late.
(, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 9:57, Reply)

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