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If you were involved in creating the worst thread this side of 1997, what would you do to make it up to the rest of us?
How's your Monday going? Anything nice happening? I've got nothing to do.
Here's a young female twohats skateboarding with chief hat tipper SS.
i.imgur.com/QoQqI1W.gifv
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:51, Reply)
I'd apologise to the board, especially to Richard
It's going shit thanks. Busy dealing with idiots.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:53, Reply)
New midland staff not getting it sorted?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:58, Reply)
nope

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:33, Reply)
I scooped up all the snow on my balcony and made a snowman with my nipper
Now it's snowing again, as if the weather gods are laughing at my feeble efforts.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:53, Reply)
Maybe you should fall off the balcony.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:59, Reply)
It's been a nice low-key Monday over here. Enough work to keep me busy without driving me crazy.
Tonight's the night I get my bike back, in theory.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:56, Reply)
Who has the bike and do you want me to break their legs?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:59, Reply)
The repair shop, and that depends on how good a job they've done.
I'll let you know tomorrow morning.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:00, Reply)
m8, that was well rude of you to say

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:02, Reply)
Look m8, it's not my fault you started the most-dissed thread of 2017.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:04, Reply)
How badly damaged was it in the end?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:27, Reply)
The only thing that really needs replacing is the pedalboard,
which I tried to bend back into shape by hand but it's solid aluminium and the angle made any leverage impossible. I figured if I was going to spend 80 on parts, I could spend another 20 on getting them to fit them for me.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:56, Reply)
it's alright, heres an auction of old cars
auction.catawiki.com/classic-car-auction/monday/2017-01-16

and a watch made from cheese costing a million

www.hodinkee.com/articles/h-moser-swiss-mad-watch-swiss-cheese-limited-edition-venturer-introducing
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:00, Reply)
#23 is well underpriced

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:05, Reply)
I'd quite like a DS or a Capri

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:13, Reply)
+nintendo
+sun
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:15, Reply)
:D

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
I wouldn't mind the volvo

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:15, Reply)
I assume you mean the p1800 rather than the 242?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:16, Reply)
The amazon B18

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:22, Reply)
That watch looks a bit like HAL, so I approve.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:21, Reply)
i'd buy it to piss off vegans

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:52, Reply)
There's a red Plymouth Fury, in that auction - I'd buy that and call it Christine.
Then I'd use it to run people over with, if they upset me in any way.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:25, Reply)
You could just buy an Accord for that.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:36, Reply)
Honda Accord for justice,
Plymouth Fury for petty revenge.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:43, Reply)
Justice is alsways reliable
Revenge drinks a lot and is not always guaranteed to work.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:20, Reply)
donate £500 to each person in the /talk stats top 30
my day is going better than i thought it would. this morning was a right cunt.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:04, Reply)
Good news.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:15, Reply)
thanks

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:23, Reply)
I tipped that cunt good and proper

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:05, Reply)
Best bit of that short clip.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:16, Reply)
I'm pretty tired, but deserve to feel rougher than I do, I suppose.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:10, Reply)
If it helps, you almost certainly look worse than you feel.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:16, Reply)
that's just mean.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:17, Reply)
live suicide feed

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:17, Reply)
What does a suicide eat?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:26, Reply)
it eats anorexia according to google

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:29, Reply)
and attention

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:30, Reply)
I dunno, what's a-sucide eat-a to you?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:30, Reply)
My day is unspectacular.
I wouldn't even apologise for a shit thread. I don't owe you cunts anything.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:22, Reply)
Porbably make a batch of peanut butter and nutella cookies, with added weed on request
Monday's going alright, now the office has adopted a casual dress code everything's a bit more laid back.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:28, Reply)
I bet management stewed on that for months before agreeing

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:30, Reply)
Probably, they seem the sort
Still, it means one less chore of ironing my work gear every week, more time to study the blade and get burned bout to watch football
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:33, Reply)
I never iron my work shirts. Just put a jumper on over them innit.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:37, Reply)
Ironing?
I don't think I've ironed anything in over a decade, and I have to wear a shirt and tie to work.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:38, Reply)
A tie? Unlucky.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:39, Reply)
Jesus
I object to wearing a tie to a funeral. Fucked if I'm wearing one to work.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:40, Reply)
Tie chat!
I'm going client-side tomorrow so I have to wear one, for the first time in at least a year.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
you'll never make a lvl 8 atheist with that attitude

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
Those Eighters are a real bunch of nerds
I'm happy at 7, I'm staying at 7
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:47, Reply)
^only 2 meow meow beenz

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:50, Reply)
I don't think I have to,
but wearing a shirt without one is weird - unless it's short-sleeved, in which case wearing a tie with it makes one look like a serial killer.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
Combine with tinted glasses for maximum effect.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:44, Reply)
<s> D-FENS

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:58, Reply)
AW NAW ME TOPICS ARE RUAINED

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:03, Reply)
I got moaned at for not wearing a tie to a wedding recently.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:43, Reply)

a tie smart trousers
wedding christening
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:45, Reply)
lol.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:48, Reply)
pff

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:37, Reply)
I've got mates who are the same, they claim that somehow "the creases fall out" when they hang them up
I call bollocks
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:50, Reply)
You can sometimes steam them out if you hang the shirt in the bathroom when you shower.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:51, Reply)
I buy non-iron shirts.
Not fooling anyone, but a million times more presentable than an unironed normal shirt.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:54, Reply)
Holy fuck that's an extortionate amount to spend on work shirts
Taking advantage of laziness there
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:59, Reply)
My mum's a shopaholic, and is forever picking them up in the sales.
I haven't spent any money on work clothes since I don't know when.
Would still be worth it, though - who has time to iron?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:06, Reply)
very few people I know want to wear a suit to work anymore

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:41, Reply)
I might start wearing a suit, start the shift so that office bods wear jeans and a tshirt while all sparks wear a 3 piece.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:42, Reply)
and fedoras

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:47, Reply)
I'm thinking stetsons

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:48, Reply)

www.eoht.info/page/Dawkins+scale
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:48, Reply)
How can you be 'more than sure'?
Fucking hell
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:51, Reply)
Nice.
blog.denimtherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/1970s.jpg
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:47, Reply)
Nah, more like this.
i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/10/06/04/2D20BABF00000578-3261357-image-a-65_1444102040224.jpg
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:55, Reply)
i'm at work wearing jeans, a pair of red and black DCs, my best pants and a tshirt with fry from futurama on it

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:48, Reply)
ain't nothing wrong with a little Philip J. Fry

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:51, Reply)
exactly
www.qwertee.com/product/100-cups-of-coffee
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:52, Reply)
There was a cool Nightman t-shirt on shirtpunch yesterday
but the exchange rate and shipping are making them too expensive now. Sad toimes.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:05, Reply)
I want a Repo Man tshirt.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:08, Reply)
Well I don't know what to tell you, m8

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:08, Reply)

www.barbershopwindow.com/repo-man-classic.html
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:02, Reply)
AKA Demolition Smash, wrestling fact fans

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:09, Reply)

y from futurama ied egg stains
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:52, Reply)
shows what you know, i only eat fried eggs in the nude

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:00, Reply)
"she calls it a mayonegg"

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:03, Reply)
her?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:20, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oo6iEqkFnI
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:30, Reply)

yeah, i got it
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:02, Reply)
Well that's now as ann as plain's face.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:12, Reply)
I'm wearing cat boots, jeans, shirt and bench grey/black jumper.
I need to get some more black jeans for work though as my last pair has developed a hole in the back pocket where my change poked through.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:52, Reply)

and you look lovely in them
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:56, Reply)
Google tells me that "DCs" is footwear.
I was briefly confused.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:56, Reply)
What else would be wearing in pairs, you dummy?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:01, Reply)
Trousers (already there), pants (likewise),
spectacles (maybe), gloves (not indoors), earmuffs (likewise), deely boppers (most likely answer).
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:04, Reply)
My knickers are red and they have polka dots on.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:57, Reply)
Brace yourself.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 15:59, Reply)
podka

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:03, Reply)
offer you a good flubbing
great. just been told i don't have to go to job club for a few weeks while they move to their new offices, by which time i should be on full carer's allowance and won't have to go back anyway!
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:10, Reply)
Congratulations.
Bit less hassle to worry about, at least.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:16, Reply)
yep, it takes the pressure off
and means i don't have to leave my aunt to fend for herself 2 mornings a week.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:23, Reply)
Not good at this time of the year
in the warmer months you can allow her to roam free in the garden and let her go wild for a bit. Maybe put a small assault course in there to bring back the old 'nam days... Flashbacks are great fun for the elderly and infirm.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:39, Reply)
not her
she'd only strip off and traumatise the neighbours
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:49, Reply)
willy

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:42, Reply)
k reporting this to the mods

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:46, Reply)
lol, "willy"!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:57, Reply)
god almighty
you had to ruin it, didn't you
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:00, Reply)

giphy.com/gifs/friendzone-fedora-rdA5DhISPS6DS
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:11, Reply)

i.imgur.com/I6OTT5f.gif
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:08, Reply)
"Only the pure will be spared."
i.imgur.com/Tjjd1Ia.jpg
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 17:14, Reply)
If you were involved in a radioactive accident, what would your new superpower be?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:13, Reply)
tits

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:14, Reply)
You'd be like Hawk
except smaller, and you'd just peck out the cream from people's milk bottles each morning
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:20, Reply)
Less Hawk, more Thrush

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:42, Reply)
That's the power of love

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:47, Reply)
What two hats said ^

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:16, Reply)
cancer

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:16, Reply)
Prehensile mustache.
And cancer.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:19, Reply)
your tache would be like kuato in Total Recall

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:20, Reply)
More like
Benny's arm.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:36, Reply)
Cancer and tits

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:19, Reply)
tits with a dash of cancer

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:20, Reply)
Luminosity

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:21, Reply)
mod powers so I could delete this bent thread

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:27, Reply)
It's the worst thread so far today.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:29, Reply)
Nothing's topped Shakespeare poo puns, as today's highlight.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:40, Reply)
I am very pleased with the way that went
especially as a tangent from the original subject. Who knows, maybe this will prove fertile ground for another "classic."
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:49, Reply)
It's the worst thread I've seen this millenium, m8

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:43, Reply)
that shit you posted below was an abomination m8
I'm doing us all a favour, especially you.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:31, Reply)
Would it help if I started a new thread?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:45, Reply)
can't make things any worse, at this point

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:47, Reply)
sticking my poohole over a pool drain

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:39, Reply)
Chuck Palhinuck wrote a rather disturbing short story about that.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:21, Reply)
I assumed this was the joke.
Am I missing something?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:26, Reply)
^ what he said

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:32, Reply)
And why has it become relevant again?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:34, Reply)
Same

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:32, Reply)
When I dun a spunk, poo would come out the helmit

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:41, Reply)
I'd become a superb3tan and be able to comedy at the George on a weekday night

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:44, Reply)
Shed man
I would be able to repair minor leaks in shed roofs.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:50, Reply)
Irresistible to every b3tan's nans.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:59, Reply)
lifetime b3ta gold account

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:01, Reply)

💩 [b3ta gold]
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:11, Reply)
Thank you for the gold kind sirs! [doffs neckbeard]

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:20, Reply)
You've been tricked by society into caring about how you look.

One day you will be enlightened and understand that inner strength and mental acuity will transfer to the cosmic afterlife and not your puny body.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:02, Reply)
oh shit

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:05, Reply)
How much blade study do I need to do to achieve that?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Oh, at least 6
Maybe as much as 7 or 8
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:25, Reply)
it's true, I did shave this morning
I won't bother next week
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:21, Reply)
I shaved twice, last week.
Awful business.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:33, Reply)
The ability to sleep like normal human

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:05, Reply)
Generating generous quantities of organic pork scratchings with only a vigorous towelling-off.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:30, Reply)
mind control
then i could control the scientists i'd need to build my laser cannon, my death ray and everything else i need to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 16:39, Reply)
OK Fleb, now you're a yaga yaga
OK Fleb, bully for you
OK Fleb, now you're a yaga yaga
I wanna be one too

Just sayin
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:25, Reply)
alright 'smash mouth'

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:27, Reply)
well you're entitled to your opinion m8
but you're going down a route I cannot follow
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:29, Reply)
your loss

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:33, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:33, Reply)
Stop your messin' around
Better think of your future
Time you straightened right out
Creatin' problems on /talk

Ritchie
A message to you, McBeef.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:31, Reply)
*tips fedora*
*strokes neckbeard*
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:31, Reply)
[serious] m'lady

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:33, Reply)
m'cbeef

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:34, Reply)
I touched a m'lady on the pudendum AMA!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:36, Reply)
How does it smell?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:38, Reply)
like a damp old book

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:40, Reply)
"I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct."

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:40, Reply)
You know I don't understand this, so I imagine it's some sort of "street slang" and I want no part of it.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:34, Reply)
think it's a black people thing

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:39, Reply)
you down, nig?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:40, Reply)
er ... yo?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:00, Reply)
^ never heard of a mister magic rap attack

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:42, Reply)
I think you'll find it's mister MIME *adjusts glasses*

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:57, Reply)
All the hip kids this season want to be a Baba Yaga.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:35, Reply)
i wonder if any will come true, tbf this is only relevant to my interests
rolexpassionreport.com/20205/rolex-news-for-baselworld-2017/
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:37, Reply)
what takes your fancy?
I'm buying.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:41, Reply)
if they do the gmt with the black red bezel that will be a lovely watch, i've got the blue and black version and they are really hard to buy even over list price

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:55, Reply)
what's the most gadgets you've ever seen in a real watch?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:45, Reply)
I saw one with a calculator on it once
It had plus, minus and times
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:52, Reply)
the ones that could control tellies were big when i was at school

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:53, Reply)
i've been to a few exhibitions so have seen some very complicated watches

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:56, Reply)
are you a lawyer or something, somebody important or something?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:58, Reply)
nah i aint passed the bar....ever...lol

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:04, Reply)

You say you're Yaga Yaga
and you're well hip on the street
but you're more like Lady Gaga
and your garments smell of meat.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:01, Reply)

Dicky Mcbeef, changing the climate
wearing guyliner and dressing like a pirate
waxing lyrical in the London blizzard
after a curry, got a sleeve like a wizard
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:05, Reply)
No m8

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 13:09, Reply)
I want to get a treadmill, but I don't really have the space
What do you want to get but don't really have the space? Or time to use it. Or bumhole. Or summat.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:44, Reply)
A menagerie.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:46, Reply)
woah
what would you keep in your menagerie?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:47, Reply)
A tortoise and a horse for the kids.
A goat and a pig for me.

Might revise my ambitions down to a simple farmyard.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:49, Reply)
You could make the tortoise and the horse race, and create your own little fable
On milking day, don't get the pig and goat mixed up
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:51, Reply)
I'd spend my time reenacting Zeno's paradox,
and milking the goat. I don't really have a use for the pig, but pigs are great.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:54, Reply)
Pool table.
I got a miniature one for Chrimbo, but it's not the same.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:46, Reply)
Yeah, that'd be cool
My wife's auntie has got one that came from a pub. Good fun, but yes...you need a lot of space.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:48, Reply)
I used to live in a ground floor flat
and the guy above us had a pool or snooker table. After a couple of weeks I wanted to beat him to death with his cue.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:49, Reply)
I'm not sure you're supposed to put snooker tables upstairs.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:13, Reply)
Well I wasn't going to let him keep it in my flat

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:14, Reply)

stairs your bum
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:20, Reply)
We almost bought an old pub when we last moved house.
It'd been converted, but the downstairs was still obviously pub shaped - could have got a pool table in there, easy.

We also looked at a house in a village, that had it's own private access to the pub next door. Me and the father-in-law bitterly regret not getting that one.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:52, Reply)
A rich mate of mine when I was a teenager had his own snooker table at home.
Now that took up a serious amount of space.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:09, Reply)
I really want a music studio
I've got a few odds'n'sods of kit and we've had a loft conversion so there's a room that has been earmarked to be the stuidio/office/spare room but we need to build storage and a bench etc...
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:47, Reply)
Have a look in Ikea
you might not actually buy anything there, but it might give you some inspiration
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:50, Reply)
Yes, they do some good modular stuff
that doesn't break the bank. I'm not really a very competent carpenter so this way I'll end up with nearly as many fingers at the end of the project as at the start.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:34, Reply)
a sense of wonder

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:49, Reply)
childlike wonder?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:51, Reply)
no, stevie

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:17, Reply)
hearing, smell or touch then.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:24, Reply)
alright
did you know you're possessed? www.lgbtqnation.com/2016/12/85-gay-people-possessed-ghosts-according-spiritual-research/
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:25, Reply)
Haha, goodness me
THE POWER OF RU PAUL COMPELS YOU!
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)
makes sense

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:33, Reply)
"He slimed me."

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:33, Reply)
One of my best work buddies told me the other day
"Did you know that Stevie Wonder has a pilot's license?"
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:25, Reply)
haha. blindos can do all sorts these days
sploid.gizmodo.com/this-blind-skateboarder-uses-his-cane-to-do-awesome-tri-1790760558
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
I can't wait until I'm blind

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:35, Reply)
I quite liked the blind man in Sneakers.
And how they work out the route the guy was taken by playing the guy the road noises and stuff.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:36, Reply)
*that joke about the nuns*

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:38, Reply)
"Where's the soap?"

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:41, Reply)
"Just show them your cross"

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:44, Reply)
"I've never come this way before"

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:45, Reply)
A poopo

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:50, Reply)
come on now, don't be silly

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:51, Reply)
a hippo

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:50, Reply)
bit dangerous though, aren't they
expensive to feed as well, I'd imagine
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:52, Reply)
dunno, but if tv has taught me anything they only eat a handful of white marbles a day so food won't be a problem

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:53, Reply)
I want to convert my garage into a woodworking shop
but there's a car in there taking up all the space, which is really inconvenient.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:51, Reply)
Build a car port in your workshop
two birds
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:53, Reply)
With the car in the garage
there's about a foot of space left over on each side. The plan is to have the car repainted to increase it's value 400%, and then sell it on, but this is a Long Term Project.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:10, Reply)
So it will be worth $4 then?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:31, Reply)
I also want to build at least one mezzanine in this apartment
but I can't work out the best arrangement for the stairs up there, since pirate-style rope rigging looks a bit ridiculous when climbed up by an out-of-shape middle-aged bloke.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:52, Reply)
Two words: arduino. elevator.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:53, Reply)
one word is Italian, the other is American
SPEAK ENGLISH, BOY
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:15, Reply)
Build a scale model in Lego,
then try out different arrangements.
Especially the arduino controlled lift platform.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:58, Reply)
The trouble with Lego is that you're stuck to using Stud Height as a measurement of length, width etc
which doesn't really translate too well to real world dimensions.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:11, Reply)
i'm 6ft 3 if that helps

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:18, Reply)

media.giphy.com/media/6Nv7BdrUl6Psc/giphy.gif
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:20, Reply)

media.giphy.com/media/xVkqKUUlOQzvi/giphy.gif
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:24, Reply)
and alllllll stud.
that's 198.4 bricks
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:22, Reply)
So am I!
Isn't it great?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:01, Reply)
it's alright
seems to be a lot more tall people about these days. i blame chemtrails
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:17, Reply)
world peace

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:59, Reply)
That's what I'm getting after the treadmill

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:08, Reply)
this is outstanding! happy candelabra

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:05, Reply)
cheers

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:08, Reply)
lol, "bra"!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:09, Reply)

candela hand
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:13, Reply)
Dunno.
My parents got an exercise bike. It was used about once before it just became a makeshift clothes horse. I imagine a treadmill would be similar.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:15, Reply)
Well then the solution is simple
I'm no longer inviting your parents to live with me
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:19, Reply)
There was a flat down the road from my old gaff that had a fruit machine in the front room.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:25, Reply)
when i was in primary school, my girlfriend's folks had one at their place
they did live in paulsgrove though, so y'know
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)
Did they live in the lounge bar of the Sociable Plover?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:28, Reply)
i've already said too much

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:33, Reply)
I understand

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:35, Reply)
I can imagine getting bored of that REALLY quickly
at least with a pool table you're learning and improving a skill
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:27, Reply)
I don't really see the appeal of fruit machines when I can win someone else's money.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:31, Reply)
my grandparents apparently had a cigarette machine in their house at one point

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
I sort of wanted one of those tab dispensers that's shaped like a camel and the things come out it's arse.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:36, Reply)

This
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:16, Reply)
This is like a huge, room-sized infographic
labelled "Look at all the sex I never had".
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:18, Reply)
...said the lego train enthusiast that somehow made a baby

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:19, Reply)
they're all stuffed in shoeboxes until the one day a month I make another video
I haven't got a dedicated chamber to show them off to all the friends i don't have.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:21, Reply)
fuck that
emulators and roms and repurpose the room as a judo centre or gym.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:22, Reply)
yer, this
i'd like to build an arcade cabinet with a pc running roms in it. i won't though, because i'm shit
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:25, Reply)
One of my mates is working on a similar project - using a raspberry pi to make a basic OS running a load of old emulators
with, I assume, a HDD full of ROMs. I gave him an old defunct Dreamcast I had knocking about to strip out and make into a case for it
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
Downloading ROMs is a bit of a chore.
I've got about a dozen each of NES and MegaDrive games downloaded, and I can't face the hassle of getting more.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:39, Reply)
you can download bundled roms

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:41, Reply)
I should look into doing that.
But that sounds like a chore, too.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:44, Reply)
Just found one that's about 5.5Gb, contains 6,666 games, although I guess you can decide which consoles to download to save time

Atari 2600 (772)
MAME (534)
Neo Geo (327)
Nintendo 64 (46)
Nintendo NES (2105)
SNES (790)
Sega Master System (369)
Sega Mega Drive (Sega Genesis) (948)
TurboGrafX (664)
Gameboy Advance (99)
ZX Spectrum (12)

Emulators included
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:49, Reply)
Back in the day,
someone from here sent me a CD with MAME, and a load of ROMs.
Dialup internet, eh - remember that?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:51, Reply)
that's too many nes games

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:56, Reply)
There were LOADS of shit NES games.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:57, Reply)
That really is, something tells me a lot of those will be ROMhacks or unlicensed stuff, especially since there were apparently only 713 licensed NES games
Remember when every NES and SNES game had the "Nintendo Seal of Quality?"
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:59, Reply)
Some of the unlicenced ones got round it by using an official cartridge as a pass-through.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:04, Reply)
controversially i don't really go in for proper retro gaming
anything before the 16bit era can fuck off
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:12, Reply)
Modern games, loaded off a DVD / HDD, feel like a step backwards from the instant on experience of 16-bit cartridge systems.
That said, having sat through the loading screen for Jet Set Willy on the Spectrum, recently, it seems churlish to complain about the WiiU being a bit slow.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:18, Reply)
yeah, that'll be one of the benefits of the nintendo switch
that and no region locking

been playing just cause 3 on ps4 and the load times are infuriating
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:33, Reply)
Agreed really, there's a few in there that I don't mind, the old mario / metroid, at a stretch Zelda and a few more obscure ones
But the majority of games from that time were either seriously hampered by the technology or inferior backports of 16 bit games.

On a side note, I played Sensible Soccer on a Jaguar 64 yesterday, among other games. Now that was a shit console
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:36, Reply)
That's how I got my PS1 library
A purist would say it isn't 100% complete, there's probably a few really obscure Japanese games that aren't included, but the majority of big titles, especially ones the made it to PAL territories, are in there, and a quick modification makes them PSP ready
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:45, Reply)
I might have to do this.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:48, Reply)
I put a psx emulator on my tablet.
Turns out parappa the rapper is near-impossible on a touchscreen.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:49, Reply)
Rhythm games don't emulate very well I've found
Unless you set up the emulator exactly it'll utilize the better hardware on your PC / tablet, which results in framerate issues
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:55, Reply)
I quite like the idea of those clip-on controllers you can get, as virtual controllers are useless.
But my old tablet is one the verge of disintegrating, so it's probably not worth it.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:55, Reply)
Apparently I can connect a ps3 controller via bluetooth.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:58, Reply)
For a better experience,
connect to a Wiimote, for that classic "uncomfortable controller" experience.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:01, Reply)
I tried to play Castlevania on that.
It's too small, same issue with the DS for nes/snes games. You just can't batter it quick enough.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:04, Reply)
I bought a cheap "classic controller" add-on,
which is a genius exercise in ergonomics: something resembling a proper joypad, with a wiimote dangling off it. Lovely bolas effect, if you hurl it across the room in frustration, though.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:10, Reply)
Fuck that, as a compromise maybe as a dedicated place of blade study

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:26, Reply)
ABB: always be bladin'

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:31, Reply)
i'd love a pinball table

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:22, Reply)
Your nan pinned my balls to a table and...
Y'know, I think I might be flogging a dead horse with this "your nan" schtick.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:29, Reply)
*tilt*

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:30, Reply)
hey look, free balls

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
yeah. to be honest, you were always a bit rubbish at it.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:34, Reply)
I was the best, manolith.
But I've peaked, and am trading on former glory. Let's see of I can give it up.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:42, Reply)
Pep Guardiola getting the sack

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:41, Reply)
I don't have the space for a full pep

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:42, Reply)
I want to ge-ge-g-g-ge-e-et busy
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBLZqJfjQ6U
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:42, Reply)
Not really, I want to get back into bed

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:44, Reply)
yank it hard

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:47, Reply)
me too m8

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:49, Reply)
^

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:50, Reply)
not alone though ;)
x
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:53, Reply)
:)))

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:54, Reply)
Get a room, you two.
*tuts in amused exasperation*
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:55, Reply)
it ouy

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:14, Reply)
iy out, even
sausage fingered idiot
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:16, Reply)

i.reddituploads.com/8a2be087f7f340638643823e1f4adc8d?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=fa82f274207762416529ead364a75dc9
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:16, Reply)
fuck. sake.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:18, Reply)
Excuse me
that's my squad you're dissing there
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:28, Reply)
Is that you in the stupid hat, top right?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:37, Reply)
There's something very off about that "Katanaz" thing at the bottom.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 12:21, Reply)

An inspection pit...but I hear they are really dangerous to construct and use...still want one though.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 14:03, Reply)
The scar on my shoulder is stinging
does that mean that something bad's going to happen? My ear got itchy back in June and then brexit happened. What does a sore scar auger? How do YOU divine the future? Giblets or tea leaves?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:29, Reply)
I tend to just look out the window.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:31, Reply)
So why do I get candles the day before the actual day?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:31, Reply)
something to do with shit code on the site

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:31, Reply)
I'm starting to understand
why lurkers turn up out of the blue saying "oh look, I missed my candle day by one day!"

cunts
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:33, Reply)
I can't believe those sad bastards log back in to check

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
I don't have much of a problem with candles representing the end of a year,
rather than the beginning of a new one.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
If you have to ask,
you'll never know.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:32, Reply)
See also: Where do babies come from?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:33, Reply)
that film 'storks' is funnier than i expected it to be

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
I thought that was a documentary about margarine manufacture?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:35, Reply)
no you didn't, liar
you're thinking of 'yellowdish', the doco about how douglas the lurpak man is treated really badly
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:36, Reply)
Do you know he couldn't actually play the trombone?
It was overdubbed in post production
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:38, Reply)
it was a trombone made of butter
i mean, cut him some slack
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:46, Reply)
yeah, getting the embouchure right on those things is a nightmare

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:49, Reply)
It wasn't, y'know.
Shiny, brass butter?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:49, Reply)
fuck me, you're right about something

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:50, Reply)
I should get my very own commemorative day on the calendar,
in honour of this momentous occasion.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:54, Reply)
well today is allegedly the worst day of the year
i'm happy to refer to it as monster munch day
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:55, Reply)
Result!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:57, Reply)
wait, where did that question mark come from?
I don't remember typing that
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:37, Reply)
do you remember every other question mark you've typed?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:55, Reply)
I have a tally

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:59, Reply)
well put it away before someone calls the police

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:02, Reply)
Is it marked on a banana?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:05, Reply)

ta +tiny wi
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:05, Reply)
Every time I type a question mark, I give him a little flick

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:10, Reply)
boom! yeah!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:11, Reply)
I don't know why I'm getting excited it's not my willy you're touching

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:12, Reply)
there's always that hope that it might be though

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:18, Reply)
true

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:22, Reply)
well watching me masturbate is quite the spectacle, I can assure you

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:18, Reply)
I can see the windows steaming up already
and you've only taken off your shirt
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:21, Reply)
yeah, that happens sometimes

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:22, Reply)
you should get on twitch, mat8

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:22, Reply)
I'm twitching right now, m8

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:27, Reply)
pervert

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:29, Reply)
yeah we enjoyed it

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:40, Reply)
vajajay

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
vajajay abrams?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:36, Reply)
it's because jupiter is in retrograde

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
uranus more like

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
*futurama gif about urectum*

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:40, Reply)
I thought snuka said she died from a fall?
Maybe he was trying to teach her the splash and she didn't quite stick the landing.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:43, Reply)
yer but the trial never finished and then he was declared unfit to stand due to dementia

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:50, Reply)
Some people claim he was playing the "confused old man" card
We'll never know now
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:51, Reply)
either way, his contribution to wrestling was invaluable. no snuka, no foley

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:55, Reply)
Absolutely
Most people don't realise how much of a megastar he was in the early 80's. When wrestling hit national (and eventually international) tv, he was one of the top faces. It was him and Hogan, basically. But you already know this, and no one else here cares. We'll talk about it another time.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:58, Reply)
I care

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:07, Reply)
The story about how the company went from a tiny little regional promotion
to an international, billion dollar corporation is actually very interesting. Betrayal, sexual abuse, drugs, lies, money, murder...it's all there.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:14, Reply)
Is there any decent documentaries about it?
I've seen beyond the mat and stuff, but not one about the early days.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:21, Reply)
Not as far as I'm aware
I've got a feeling we'll have to wait until Vince dies before we get a proper one. He feels a bit uncomfortable when people tell the truth, bless him
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:23, Reply)
really, you need to go back to Jess McMahon briefly
then Vince Sr and Toots Mondt, and their relationships with the other promoters around the US.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:26, Reply)
Come and have a beer with me and Manolith
and we'll bore the shit out of you with all the details
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:28, Reply)
Done.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:31, Reply)
i think there are supposed to be good ones about the awa and the wccw

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:25, Reply)
you're such a mark
dusty rhodes wrote the entire history of the wwe as a storyline for hulk hogan. even the modern-day racism parts, for some reason
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:22, Reply)
Another man manipulated by VKM
From well-respected legend and true peer of Ric Flair and Arn Anderson, to polka dot wearing dancing fatty. Still, a millionaire dancing fatty, so swings and roundabouts.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:24, Reply)
yeah, but he's dead now

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:25, Reply)
Yeah, what an idiot

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:27, Reply)
I have a passing interest.
Don't know if that's any comfort to you?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:09, Reply)
It is, thank you

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:14, Reply)
You're welcome.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:18, Reply)
Fucking hipster planets

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:44, Reply)
because you're a FLAMING homosexual

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:36, Reply)
Maybe because you're a cunt.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:40, Reply)
+that I love London town

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:41, Reply)
:O

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:42, Reply)
Morning mate.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:43, Reply)
maybelline's 2017 marketing strategy needs work

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:43, Reply)
I did a poo once that looked like a racoon's tail
it rained really hard that day. It really makes you think.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:33, Reply)
woah

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:33, Reply)
Mind
Blown
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
By the prickin of my shoulder
later I will shit a boulder.

Whtat's that from? Richard the third?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:36, Reply)
Cackbeth more like

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:38, Reply)
Is this a chode I see before me?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:38, Reply)
The Taming of the Poo

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:42, Reply)
Twelfth Shite
"some have faeces thrust upon them"
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:42, Reply)
Ring Smear

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:44, Reply)
Guff's Labours Plops

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:57, Reply)
O'Smello

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:57, Reply)
King on the John

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:59, Reply)
Poolius Caesar

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:10, Reply)
This is also embarrassing.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:14, Reply)
Beware the IBS of March

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 11:39, Reply)
As you like it up the bum bum from other gay shakespeares

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:44, Reply)
The Merry Wipes of Windsor.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:45, Reply)
All's Well That Ends Well
leaving that as it is, I reckon
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:43, Reply)
Romeo & Pooliet

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:46, Reply)
Romeo and Pooliet

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:47, Reply)
Well, this is embarrassing.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:55, Reply)
Tightarse Andornicarse

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:56, Reply)
As You Like Shit

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:58, Reply)
A Midbummer's Night Cream

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:00, Reply)
Poolius Caesar

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:08, Reply)
If you're lucky, the scar will just hurt sometimes for no reason.
Where the metal in my leg is just hurts sometimes. Can be a day or a week or just be fine for months.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:39, Reply)
I bet there is a reason

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:47, Reply)
Is it guilt?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:49, Reply)
all I will say on the matter is that you know that it's a sin to touch yourself there

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:54, Reply)
It's much better if you go to the park
and let a stranger touch you then it's THEIR sin not yours.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:07, Reply)
itchy bum: surprise to come

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:39, Reply)
Itchy willy: it's getting chilly

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:40, Reply)
Itchy balls: have a poo at paul's

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:45, Reply)
Itchy nipple
time for a tipple!
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:57, Reply)
yeah

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:15, Reply)
I've got a bruise on my arm from playing the circle game.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:34, Reply)

circle biscuit
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:36, Reply)

playing riding
game line
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 10:39, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 7:04, Reply)
Spose

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 7:10, Reply)
I thought you were dead

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 7:13, Reply)
Today would be a more pleasant one if that were so

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 7:41, Reply)
No you're thinking of WWE star Jimmy 'Superfly' Snuka

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:35, Reply)
to be honest, he made nearly all of his appearances when it was the wwf
so wrong again, idiot
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:59, Reply)
I dunno, just read it off the BBC website. Wrestling is for homos

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:09, Reply)
well yeah, there's no reason to exclude them

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:12, Reply)
you need to buck your ideas up m8, this sort of attitude will. not. do.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 7:17, Reply)
*straightens up*
*flies right*
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:28, Reply)
Mornholes

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 7:14, Reply)
now with 20% more hole!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 7:17, Reply)
That's a lot of hole

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:00, Reply)
it's a whole lot of hole!

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:03, Reply)
poor gonz :(

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:25, Reply)
9am meeting on a monday morning, ffs

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:00, Reply)
Morning all.
My taskbar's gone back to Windows XP mode this morning and all the text is dark grey on light grey and is imposhibru to read.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:32, Reply)
what OS are you using?
sounds a bit like Windows 7 with Aero Mode turned off.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:35, Reply)
I suspect that's exactly what's happened.
I had to tinker with the svchost this morning because it was starting to take the piss - over 15 minutes to boot to a usable state and getting longer every day. Going to reboot now and see if things are any better.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:41, Reply)
Sounds like you need to download some more RAM m8

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:54, Reply)
lol
Everyone seems to be getting viruses these days from sharing their blogs on the Facebook. Why can't we go back to the innocent days of borrowing a cup of sugar from your friend on the Myspace?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:07, Reply)
Well if you will insist on keep wanting to see how many people are stalking you are profile

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:17, Reply)
Our smartcards are broken for the third monday in a row which means no electronic prescriptions again.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:36, Reply)
Do they not like Mondays or something?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:42, Reply)
I guess that must be it

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:43, Reply)
how difficult would it be to get my medical history from the UK
since the only GP I had there is dead?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:53, Reply)
Well I would assume they wrote some of it down but if not then you're stuffed.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:10, Reply)
it's more about baby stuff tbh
no idea if I'd had measles or chickenpox etc. I hope they didn't just sketch it on the back of a pack of lucky strikes, then threw it in a bin.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:17, Reply)
Did you not have it sent over when you registered with a local doctor?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:30, Reply)
healthcare doesn't really work like that over here

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
You'd have thought someone would have told him "Physician, heal thyself."

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:13, Reply)
You mean I can't get any oramorph?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:01, Reply)
i understand all the swimming pool bumhole talk from last week now, btw

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:25, Reply)
I'd like to quote 10cc please
"Well good mornin' judge, how are you today,
I'm in trouble, please put me away
A pretty thing took a shine to me
I couldn't stop her, so I let it be
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:40, Reply)
10cc is one of those groups that I've heard of
but couldn't name a single song of theirs
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:44, Reply)
I really like 'em
I'm Mandy, Fly Me is great. Actually, their albums are even better. How Dare You is worth a listen, and even if you don't really get into the music they set the bar very high for production for the next decade or so.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:48, Reply)
yeah whatever

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:52, Reply)
alright Liam Lynch

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:52, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:59, Reply)
boo

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:54, Reply)
D:

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:55, Reply)
it's gonna be one of those days, hotfuck
i can feel it in my water
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:11, Reply)
Sad news about snuka

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:01, Reply)
yer, he was an influential figure
shame we never got to find out if he was guilty or not
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:13, Reply)
that's a shit ghost impresssion m8, put some effort in

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:09, Reply)
nah

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:14, Reply)

n w
a o
h o
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:18, Reply)
that's a shit ghost impresssion m8, put some effort in

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:20, Reply)
He's doing a better ghost impression now by starting a conversation and then not replying.

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:40, Reply)
goose

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:01, Reply)
are you holding the corpse of your dead F-16 co-pilot?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:10, Reply)
Not quite bottom get

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:01, Reply)
not with that attitude

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:10, Reply)
wotcha

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:01, Reply)
wotcha. You good?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:10, Reply)
yeah, i just saw we won the war, nice

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:16, Reply)
yeah, nice surprise
I did a good scam and filled my queue with golems, then cashed them back when the event finished an hour ago. 3000DE profit.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:18, Reply)
Gah

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:22, Reply)
candles?
*checks profile*
candles
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:24, Reply)
Oh!
Well look at that
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:27, Reply)
have you always had the same profile?
feels like you've been here longer than seven years
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:29, Reply)
A lot of people say that
Yep, same profile.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:30, Reply)
I hope you've brought in cakes for everybody

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:26, Reply)
nah, he donated the cake money to charity

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:28, Reply)
Come on m8, you know I don't like to talk about my charity work

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:28, Reply)
you mean he ate all the cake and then said 'charity begins at home, bitches'

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:30, Reply)
and he was sick on himself too

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:31, Reply)
What do you expect? I was pissed out of my head

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:32, Reply)
I made a tea loaf with sultanas and dried mango at the weekend
it was well beezer. Put muscavado in it too. If you can get here, you can have a slice.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:28, Reply)
Jesus, I feel terrible today

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:29, Reply)
ill or hungover?
i've just been beset on all sides by minor irritation pretty much from the moment i woke up
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:33, Reply)
ill
I think I've caught whatever the boy had
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:33, Reply)
what, a hoof in the knackers?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:35, Reply)
lol
different boy
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:36, Reply)
too much cake?

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:33, Reply)
or not enough

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
I can be with you by about lunchtime
as long as I don't get too held up by the roadworks on the M27
(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:32, Reply)
perfect

(, Mon 16 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
I am in Southend on Sea.
It's a shit hole.

Where are you? Is it a shit hole?
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 20:55, Reply)
In my house. No.

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 21:17, Reply)
Totally a shit hole.

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 21:45, Reply)

http://b3ta.com/talk/8035814
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 22:12, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/links/1419625
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 22:45, Reply)
What about the footy then eh?
alt: What's your favourite thing on tv at the moment? I love that Taboo thingy.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 16:37, Reply)
the masters started today
and the last episode of sherlock is on tonight. just as well i've got snooker to watch, this laptop is dying on its arse
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 16:58, Reply)
One of my mates from managed to blag us tickets to the Grand Prix Snooker when it was up here.
It's a bit shit in person because you have to behave and can't see much.

At one point everyone shouted 'go on john' at John Higgins and then a spastic let out a delayed 'mnnn Jnnnm' and me age my friends got trapped in a giggle loop. The 7ish year old girl sat next to me asked her dad 'what are they laughing at? And he let out a stern and unimpressed 'I don't know know'. Not my finest hour.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:09, Reply)
arf!
went to the senior masters last year. my cousin had a bad case of the farts while we were there, silent, but utterly deadly. she spent the entire match stinking and giggling.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:16, Reply)
I do not own or watch a tv

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:15, Reply)
looser

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:18, Reply)
#4eva

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:58, Reply)
I don't believe you

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:21, Reply)
meight, I haven't owned a tv since 2003

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:59, Reply)
I bet you read the Guardian

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:28, Reply)
do not

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:58, Reply)
It's not television if you stream it on a laptop!

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:35, Reply)
pc master race, soz

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:59, Reply)
I gave up on computers a few years ago

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 18:41, Reply)
barely get a chance to watch an episode of TNG these days

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:24, Reply)
Here
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf9oD_xl8mI
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:36, Reply)
When I was a student my housemate reckoned bev was fitter than troi.
I find this utterly baffling.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 18:06, Reply)
Troi is a big-nosed spic-eyed biffa squeezed into a corset
Bev is a flame-haired milf with sculpted cheekbones and miracle hands. No question, Crusher was way better.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 18:19, Reply)
Apologies to the lady boarders

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 18:20, Reply)
^upset.

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 18:46, Reply)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
born and raised
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:29, Reply)
on the playground is still where you spend most of your days
blazin it, obv.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 18:00, Reply)
I just watch what is on, I like country file on a sunday

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 17:43, Reply)
give 'em the spurs you grand old buckaroo

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 18:01, Reply)
I'm working my way through the first season of X-files

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 18:35, Reply)
I bought the box set years ago. Only managed to get to series 3.
Should really get back on it. Prime video has HD remasters.

The best episode is the William Gibson one, killswitch I think it's called.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 18:45, Reply)
I always found that show inconsistent

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 18:52, Reply)
It is very hit and miss.
I'm only 11 episodes in, but enjoying it.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 19:13, Reply)
I think it took a couple of seasons to find its feet.
There's a load of cameos of mediocre celebrities thrown in. A teenage Jack Black turns up as a lightning-firing greaser at some point.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 19:31, Reply)
I look forward to it.

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 19:40, Reply)
That's Giovanni Ribisi.
Jack Black plays his friend.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 22:41, Reply)
Ahh yeah. Played a nutter in My Name is Earl as well didn't he?

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 23:51, Reply)
bottom get

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 20:50, Reply)
dubbed

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 20:50, Reply)
I like the darts, but find the star-gratings they put on the cameras to be offensively gauche.

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 22:37, Reply)
morning bummers/bummees

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 8:52, Reply)
Not this shit again

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 9:44, Reply)
old faithful, that's me

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 10:11, Reply)
mcbeef is dead, Grrry!
Whatever shall we do?
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 9:56, Reply)
Wait for a new flebmaster to pull a shit-covered dildo out of the stone

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 10:10, Reply)
double-ender?

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 13:26, Reply)
What if we're both?
Does that mean we get a double 'morning'?
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 10:09, Reply)
don't be greedy

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 10:10, Reply)
Bum one, get one free.

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 10:21, Reply)
Morning

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 10:26, Reply)
alright 2 Can
how's life?
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 10:27, Reply)
Still got no decent working laptop, baby is nearly walking now so think it was just being lazy before.
Thinking of working a few extra saturdays and then buying the new xps15 when it comes out.

How are you?
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 10:36, Reply)
Surely you'll be quids in when Mrs May forces you to work all the hours god sends?

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 11:14, Reply)
Yeah can't wait, sundays are rubbish anyway

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 11:45, Reply)
kid's at the same developmental stage, the little turd
Just had to fork out 100quid for a car battery.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 11:55, Reply)
Yeah cars are almost as expensive as wives, kids and houses.
I sometimes dream amount the amount of stuff I could buy myself if I didn't have any of them.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 12:05, Reply)
Maybe a car and a house
then a wife and some kids.


oh
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 13:52, Reply)
he'

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 14:44, Reply)
Excellent idea, electrocute the little shit before it becomes self-aware and plots your demise

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 12:36, Reply)
Someone's offered me a Volvo estate for 700 quid. Dunno whether or not to take a punt on it.

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 16:21, Reply)
I have a bottle of beer
and a half-full jar of pickled onions. Can life get any better?
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 13:30, Reply)
I've gone to the pub to take the edge off.

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 15:48, Reply)
Morning

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 16:24, Reply)
Your watch is fucked. Hth.

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 16:34, Reply)
I think I may have got tonsillitis
Well cool huh
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 8:28, Reply)
see you on the other side

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 8:34, Reply)
+of the pool, by the drain

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 8:35, Reply)
Gargle the spunk of someone on antibiotics every day for 2 weeks.
Clear it right up. You spunk gargling pool drain bummer.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 8:39, Reply)
Will do, thanks doc

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 8:41, Reply)
This is 2 cans general advice to all clients

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 8:47, Reply)
You know 2can is actually just a vet right?
We humour him.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 9:00, Reply)
I always thought he was a dentist.

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 9:44, Reply)
Is it fatal?

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 8:39, Reply)
Yooo chill

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 8:42, Reply)
Alright McBeef
I have had a very interesting weekend. Vaguely resembling scenes from Trainspotting but without the smack.

I hope you don't die
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 8:48, Reply)
Thanks m8

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 8:51, Reply)
don't forget to blaze it
it helps soothe things
(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 10:50, Reply)
Sainsbury's 'Taste The Difference' evening thread.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 21:34, Reply)
Bumholes
On pool drains.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 21:37, Reply)
*tastes*
Seems pretty much the same to me
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 21:49, Reply)
Yeah but it's the prestige you're paying for, innit.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 21:55, Reply)
I did a week PAT testing in a factory in Wales that made like 80% of the UK supply of scotch eggs.
From waitrose down to Iceland the only difference is the quality of the breadcrumb.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 21:59, Reply)

readcrb
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 22:01, Reply)
Bumpoolfilter

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 22:04, Reply)
I do love the granola slices
call me gay, but I like them just as much as sticking my bumhole over a pool drain
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 21:57, Reply)
Gutsy

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 21:59, Reply)
I heard Mcbeef likes putting his bumhole on pool drains

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 22:00, Reply)

l drains r people
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 22:31, Reply)
ha³

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 0:28, Reply)
ha(2ha+hh+aa)

(, Sun 15 Jan 2017, 0:37, Reply)
Hi boarders
Everything cool yeah
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 15:02, Reply)
Burnt bout to watch football

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 15:03, Reply)
What match

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 15:19, Reply)
swan vesta

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 15:36, Reply)
Your face, my arse more like.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 16:13, Reply)
Sorry m8 just a joke

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 15:43, Reply)
Reference to
b3ta.com/talk/8035624
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 15:44, Reply)
Some kid burnt, she didn't like it

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 15:49, Reply)
Oh, it's fucking freezing at the valley

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 15:58, Reply)
It's not outdoor weather

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 16:18, Reply)
Is burning a bout necessary before watching football?

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 16:18, Reply)
Recommended for charlton fans

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 16:19, Reply)
nah, feel the need to stab a cunt

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 16:34, Reply)
What ails, Smasher?

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 16:45, Reply)
unappreciated, as usual
spent from 7 this morning looking after extremely ill aunt and doing job search, then had to come here and fill in my job search forms online. the kids have called me mean because i said they can't stay tonight as i have to go back to look after the mad aunt and my parents are calling me selfish because i'm not doing more to help them. i'm under doctor's orders to avoid stress, he clearly doesn't know me very well.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 16:59, Reply)
:(

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 17:19, Reply)
could be worse
i've got booze.
that said, if you hear on the news that an elderly woman has been found strangled to death with knitting wool, you'll know i ran out of both patience and booze
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 17:24, Reply)
If you've got wool, you must have needles.
More effective and more cathartic as a murder weapon.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 18:07, Reply)
'Noon The LOVELY Beefy.
'Noon The LOVELY /talk.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 17:11, Reply)
Yo

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 17:19, Reply)
lol

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 17:17, Reply)
Lmao nah chill

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 17:20, Reply)
Yooo chill

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 17:30, Reply)
I dont care
I dont care I dont care if he comes round here
I got my beer in the sideboard here let mother sort it out
if he comes round here.

As Charles and David put it so memorably in their witty ditty of some years back. I'm enjoying an IPA thanks for asking.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 18:30, Reply)
glass of red and a book
Rock. And. Roll
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 19:15, Reply)
Richard mcbeef likes sticking his bumhole on pool drains
look it up
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 20:16, Reply)
Apparently I am a Cunt
Who knew?
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 12:33, Reply)
bottom get

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 12:56, Reply)
at least 23 people

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 12:56, Reply)
there can't be that many perma-bloo qftw'ers
so he must be a cunt.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 13:22, Reply)
upside-down frown

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 13:19, Reply)
Yeah, but your our cunt.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 14:44, Reply)
morning
don't expect much of a reply, I just wanted today's thread Officially Started.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 7:32, Reply)
Well FUCKING hell I could give you a reply

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 7:54, Reply)
A reply and a half but if I was to tell you the story no fucker would believe me cos it's all about sex
And no one here has sex.

I met the girl of my dreams tonight. And she basically teased me for 6 hours. And now she has blocked me on Facebook
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 7:56, Reply)
Fuck off, nonce the

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 7:56, Reply)
Puff the magic Cunt

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 7:56, Reply)

met escalated my stalking campaign of teased me was in fear of her life blocked me on Facebook contacted the police
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:18, Reply)
^ THIS

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:41, Reply)
wait fuuuck what?? I thought nobody could see anything I write when I reply to spanishfly, I need to bear this in mind

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:43, Reply)
You FUCKING Penske ssnbdehegeh

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:08, Reply)
Have you read the court documents of my ex?

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:09, Reply)
very sadly I am illiterate so no

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:17, Reply)
I thought you could read every language EXCEPT english?

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:00, Reply)
damnit THAT'S the one, I'd forget my head if it weren't screwed on!!!

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
I'll fucking give you one back

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:53, Reply)
I feel short changed here you Cunt

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:08, Reply)
what do you want, a fucking medal?

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:13, Reply)
You miserable FUCKING Cunt

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 12:32, Reply)
Morning

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 8:29, Reply)
alright
flat battery in the Jag, what a (non)start to the weekend
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:53, Reply)
Alright Prescott

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:09, Reply)
Engine light on the freelander at 75 mph. Heap of junk needs scrapping.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:11, Reply)
Woohoo.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 8:34, Reply)
My ex text me today asking if I still hate her
My response was that if I was in a room with her, Adolf Hitler and Simon Cowell and I had a gun with just two bullets in it.

I would shoot her twice in the head
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 8:53, Reply)
well hello there

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:53, Reply)
A'ight Damo

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:24, Reply)
Band practice at 6, don't forget, Gray!

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:29, Reply)
I hope Alex isn't bringing anymore of his god awful cheese.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:37, Reply)
I've told him not to bring any but the cunt never listens

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:47, Reply)
He's a TRIFLE deaf ahahahahahawait that doesn't work.
Prick.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:40, Reply)
Here he is!

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 12:09, Reply)
hello darling

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 8:45, Reply)
muah muah

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:53, Reply)

m.imgur.com/a/nUzUT
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:20, Reply)
aw geez
I have an image of a sad little dragon, maybe a bit plump and very likely a bit fallen about the crest, a tiny sad damp trail of smoke curling morosely from one nostril, a single tear dripping quietly from one eye and plinking onto the floor (where it forms itself into a pearl), working a night shift in an asda warehouse, hiding away from the cruel humans, yearning for company as he loads and unloads pallets of gravy powder and evaporated milk, how little we know of the many minature tragedies all around us
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:34, Reply)
i wish to be amoug humans again but i am scared of them

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:39, Reply)
AMEN

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:41, Reply)

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/17/7c/03/177c033cfe86ff4845abf950d55b6511.jpg
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:45, Reply)
Pete is an enabler

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:55, Reply)
who's pete
please don't make me re-read the whole lot again
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:57, Reply)

www.imdb.com/title/tt0076538/
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:08, Reply)
yeah child abuse as a theme for a cartoon, doesn't surprise me that this was made in the seventies

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:17, Reply)

www.cam.ac.uk/sites/www.cam.ac.uk/files/inner-images/160708_otherkin_0.jpg
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 14:31, Reply)
I've got to go stand in a field and watch a bunch of primary school kids play football.
spanishfly will be well jealous.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:23, Reply)
He'll be in the bushes doing unspeakable things

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:54, Reply)
With your nan

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:10, Reply)
Jealous?
I usually have to play football with a load of old men with our tackle out while we force children to watch with snooker balls I. Their mouths.

The blond ones we sacrifice to the god of grrgdjs (I can't see
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:11, Reply)
+are we led it off the road

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:25, Reply)
x-D

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:32, Reply)
in b4 delete

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:30, Reply)
'Also. You're white'
m.imgur.com/a/bBnht
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:45, Reply)
^Muppsy, last night

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:49, Reply)

pfft
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:51, Reply)
Lol

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:55, Reply)
You keep weird Facebook company,
but it's cute how you redact their names with crayon.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:49, Reply)
who compiles all this stuff? I mean.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:50, Reply)
I assumed it was mcbeef.
The alternative would be that he's actively searching the internet for kids making idiots of themselves, which would lead me to believe that he needs to get out more.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:53, Reply)

wait I thought it was algorithms, I thought there were special magical sieves that the internet is poured through and all the most wonderful and sparkling internet gold is caught in them and laid out across the banqueting table of imgur where we can gaze on the shining splendour of humanity's finest work, right, right ladzladzladzamiriteladz
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:04, Reply)
^

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:41, Reply)
Facts of life nigga

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:51, Reply)
nothing matters except for bid

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:05, Reply)
morning 4 lyf mate, no delete

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:56, Reply)
Morning
Managed to avoid the uuuurghs by going home at a reasonable hour and having a couple of doobs to chill out
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:45, Reply)
did you have to post pictures about it though you know how it upsets your family

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:51, Reply)
Sure thats what you said
But yo alls I care abouts is buudddd nothing else cuz nothing matters except for bid and if you did care you have picked me up our utensils thought byee
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:57, Reply)
:D

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:05, Reply)
Lmao nah chill

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:53, Reply)
ur literally sucking my dick

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 9:57, Reply)
^alls he cares abouts is buuuddddd

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:03, Reply)
Facts of life nigga

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:30, Reply)
what up, trouser lovers

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:57, Reply)
+ Dave

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 10:59, Reply)
Got this bloody song stuck in my head
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qgZ7oPtXLE
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:02, Reply)
^ having a trouser blowout

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:02, Reply)
you know it

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:06, Reply)
imdb list
www.imdb.com/list/ls009506750?ref_=rls_1
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:09, Reply)
Haha, beautiful
Thing is, just when you think you've got this guy figured out, BAM....Number 19.
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:11, Reply)
he loves a little bit of barry and paul
more barry than paul though
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:20, Reply)
understandable

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:21, Reply)
Yes, they are all British comedies.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:20, Reply)
lol
In your opinion
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:22, Reply)
I wonder why he likes all of those
but hates Fawlty Towers
(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:22, Reply)
john Cleese raped him with a garden hose as Prunella Scales looked on

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:27, Reply)
Forget about the awful Fawlty Towers!

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:27, Reply)
I want that on a t-shirt

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:27, Reply)
with a picture of John Cleese being beaten with a tree branch

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:38, Reply)
Hello Two Hats

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:34, Reply)
After hearing that PP Arnold thing you linked I've pulled the trigger on her first LP.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:59, Reply)
She's the backing singer on Gimme Shelter, fact fans

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 12:07, Reply)
Thanks Richard!

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 12:12, Reply)
Itchycoo Park and all it would seem.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 12:19, Reply)
Ah, the Immediate/Loog Oldham connection

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 13:01, Reply)
Yo.

(, Sat 14 Jan 2017, 11:14, Reply)

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