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morning

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 23:56, Reply)
yawning - the old man is snoring

(, Tue 26 May 2015, 0:01, Reply)
Ted Rogers... Dusty Bin... 3-2-1... It's all fun and games!
but what's the name of the little tune that played in the background during the game show?
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 20:25, Reply)
you are destined to fail and die alone
maggots will be your final companions
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 20:43, Reply)
sorry, meant to say "good luck in your venture"

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 20:44, Reply)
Having worked in maggotry all of my life...

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 22:21, Reply)
fuck off the lot of you

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 19:12, Reply)
bit rude

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 19:56, Reply)
yeah soz
stubbed my toe on a door, made me bit grumpty
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 20:38, Reply)
this is not really in the true spirit of /talk
YOU fuck off.
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 20:06, Reply)
bit rude there big fella

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 20:37, Reply)
shove it up your arse and fart it out of your cunt

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 20:11, Reply)
sounds like hard work
Will give it a go tho
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 20:36, Reply)
We already did, that's why we're here.

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 20:19, Reply)
me too mate

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 20:36, Reply)
arseholes

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 17:09, Reply)
bit harsh

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 17:11, Reply)
damn right

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 17:13, Reply)
monholes

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 14:44, Reply)
mornday

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 15:06, Reply)
bumk holeiday monday

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 15:10, Reply)
What is the UK celebrating today?

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 15:36, Reply)
Whitsun

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 15:42, Reply)
From what I saw in London, they should be celebrating Blacksun
ho ho ho
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 15:53, Reply)
my daughters school is like Nigeria, being one of the few girl grammar schools around I expect boko harem to attack soon

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 16:30, Reply)
she'll be fine, they only take virgins

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 16:54, Reply)
as if there are any virgin in sarf east lahdahn

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 16:56, Reply)
Sweet music:
Bonbon Jovi
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:19, Reply)
Sherbert Bassey

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:21, Reply)
Or Shirley Bassetts

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:22, Reply)
The Humbuggles

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:23, Reply)
Sting and the Polos

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:32, Reply)
Vengobstoppers

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:38, Reply)
Nougats Wit Attitudes

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:00, Reply)
^ that's pretty good, that is

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:24, Reply)
ZZ Topic

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:33, Reply)
Boost Springsteen

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:33, Reply)
Double Decker and the fat boys,
doing the Twist
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:35, Reply)
Fleetwood Caramac

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:35, Reply)
Wham

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:36, Reply)
AC/DC's Pieces

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:38, Reply)
Everton Humpermints

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:40, Reply)
Amy Winegums

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:41, Reply)
Dolly Parton mixture

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)
Blackjack Eyed Peas

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:01, Reply)
Tenpole Chewing Gum

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:50, Reply)
The Spangles

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:52, Reply)
New Kids on the Choc

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:54, Reply)
Hazelnut O'Conner

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:55, Reply)
REO Speedwagonwheel

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:56, Reply)
The Sugarcubes!

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:58, Reply)
Sugababes!

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:59, Reply)
The Kings of Lion Bar

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:59, Reply)
Pink Floyd's The Wallnut Whip

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:07, Reply)
Terry's Chocolate Orage against the machine

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:09, Reply)
Robert Palmer Violets

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:09, Reply)
Guns and Quality Street

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:10, Reply)
:)

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:14, Reply)
David Bowie's "Revel Revel"

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:21, Reply)
David Bowie's "Heroes"

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:25, Reply)
The Mars Volta

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:11, Reply)
wham! bar

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:26, Reply)
guyrim

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:49, Reply)
N*E*R*D*S

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:41, Reply)
Snoop Dee Oh Double-Decker

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:49, Reply)
Desmond Double-Decker

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:52, Reply)
Double-Decker's Midnight Runners

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 14:01, Reply)
S Double-Decker V

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 14:02, Reply)
confectionery

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 13:53, Reply)
Topol Fruits

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 16:03, Reply)
So I saw you had yer elections. Anything changed?

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 10:09, Reply)
nah

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 10:11, Reply)
Gawd fukin right it didn't. Yer Americans now. We exported this shit.

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 10:12, Reply)
Hitler is in charge now

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 10:19, Reply)
Oh if we only had that kind of vision for the future.

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 10:28, Reply)
well when the next crash happens,
this lot won't be able to blame the other lot for it again.
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 11:18, Reply)
I can't see a crash happening in the next 5 years

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 11:59, Reply)
haha
we'll see, i predicted the last one, and we're not in nearly as good a position to weather another.
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:15, Reply)
House prices will rise until around 2038-2048 when they next peak.
This assumes no violent revolution that changes our current financial bullshit system significantly.
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)
I look forward to this glorious future when 100% of property is owned by 1% of the population and everyone else is either renting or sleeping rough

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:04, Reply)
That is the plan.

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:06, Reply)
#blueisthecolour

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:09, Reply)
Twice I had to edit that to make my fingers work right. FFS old.

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:06, Reply)
hahaha classic DerKommissar!

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:17, Reply)
Jesus someone finally gets my sense of humor. Gawd I wish I could buy you a pint.

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:48, Reply)
PM me yer PayPal. I will PayPal you a pint!

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:49, Reply)
And just to be fair... I've moved on to trolling /links. You /talk folks are all fukin' right. - http://www.b3ta.com/links/Whatever_link
Someone had to knock Dawn and Happy down a peg.
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 12:57, Reply)
I went narrow-boating
I wouldn't recommend it unless you're approaching the end of your natural life.
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 7:38, Reply)
^gay sex tourist

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 8:07, Reply)
I won't lie, there were pink balloons tied to my boat

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 8:22, Reply)
hello buoys

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 8:39, Reply)
I said the same about heroin once.
How wrong was I? Still alive!
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 9:18, Reply)
NaroBoat4Lyf #yolo #canaldreams #tuglife

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 9:20, Reply)

https://youtu.be/BFxaDoyl-1s
(, Mon 25 May 2015, 9:23, Reply)
like that, with less booze and more geezerbirds

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 10:06, Reply)
alright

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 21:47, Reply)
Alright

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 21:47, Reply)
Guess so.
Off to watch The Avengers in a bit.
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 21:53, Reply)
How was it?

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 9:59, Reply)
RTPYBO

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 23:41, Reply)
This was genuinely helpful. Thanks

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 0:05, Reply)
sunholes

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 13:01, Reply)
beer garden time

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 13:16, Reply)
way ahead of you
Villa fans are out in force though.
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 13:28, Reply)
whoa there, Im in the juicer, it opens at 12, if Villa sell Ben 10 they will be bolloxed

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 13:36, Reply)
how can you talk about beer at a time like this?
Acting as if everything's fine whilst spanishfly's baby's got a tube in it?
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 15:13, Reply)
dunno who that is, and why would u care, strength through adversity

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 15:20, Reply)
oh dear.
[ALERT: MASSIVE ONLINE MELTDOWN IMMINENT IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS]
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 16:40, Reply)
*unignores*

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 16:44, Reply)
You terrible bully.

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 17:33, Reply)
There must be a shitload of stem cells that can be harvested from a baby.
I think you have to put it in a blender first. #WillItBlend
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 17:26, Reply)
I'm no scientist, and I can only afford a £8.99 blender from ASDA
But god damn it, i'll give it a shot.
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 17:26, Reply)
I'd drink a shot of DNA, can I have a sambuca too

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 18:15, Reply)
if its an issue I'll buy my own bucca

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 18:32, Reply)
nah' man, we all put in, we all take out. You wanta bucca this time, I'll might want a chips next time - it's all good.

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 7:09, Reply)
But if Fly thinks he's getting a CSA agreement in with my lot, then he can think again.

(, Mon 25 May 2015, 7:10, Reply)
Oh, what happened?

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 21:41, Reply)
mr.h

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 14:54, Reply)
Bunmoles

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 21:47, Reply)
WE ARE THE HEROES OF OUR TIME
BUT WE'RE DANCING WITH THE DEMONS IN OUR MINDS
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:23, Reply)
so true :,(

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:25, Reply)
louder

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:25, Reply)
you know i will
bit drunk right now so bear with me a minute
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:28, Reply)


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(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:43, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/links/The_UK_entry_to_the_Eurovision_Song_Contest_original_pre_release_version
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:44, Reply)
so hungry right now :(

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:46, Reply)


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(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:48, Reply)
explain

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:52, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmvwINJeLKU
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:55, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0V4TZAyd8I
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:59, Reply)

www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/GlennJacobs/01
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 1:48, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzYzVMcgWhg
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 1:57, Reply)

the demons tears
our minds my eyes
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 11:32, Reply)
don't talk to me about heroes

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 1:08, Reply)
I much prefer Eurofighter
More pointy.
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:39, Reply)
lol
if only we could launch them from those two new aircraft carriers that we've got with no planes for
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:42, Reply)
They are subs you tit

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 23:44, Reply)
wat

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 23:46, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Queen_Elizabeth_%28R08%29
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Prince_of_Wales_%28R09%29
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 23:48, Reply)
Submarines

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:14, Reply)
oh, you mean like u-boats...
any sign of sprogness yet?
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:22, Reply)
yeah, right,
you can launch aircraft from submarines, right
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:24, Reply)
trident-essential meditation
it's a bit like yogic flying - it only really works if you really believe in it.
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:30, Reply)
oh, trident,
the OTHER thing we're wasting money on, that nuclear deterrent that can't hit anything.
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:33, Reply)
You menk
That's what I was getting at you tool. An aircraft carrier without aircraft may as well be a submarine.

And I am the thick one around here
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 1:45, Reply)
sorry, i was drunk,
but now i am sober, and still none of it makes any sense.
(, Sun 24 May 2015, 22:06, Reply)
this is the worst Eurovision ever

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:02, Reply)
Eurovision is an abstract concept.

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:04, Reply)
not nearly abstract enough for my liking

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:11, Reply)
that Estonian bit of skirt though, eh?
Cor!
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:06, Reply)
dunno i've only got it on the radio

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:09, Reply)
i actually quite like this Montenegro one

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:27, Reply)
But without the atrocious routines and crazy costumes isn't it unbearable?

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:23, Reply)
pretty much,
that's why i have beer
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:24, Reply)
An excellent solution!

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:27, Reply)
an alcohol solution,
the best kind of solution
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:28, Reply)
I'll drink to that.
:D
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:31, Reply)
also i did have to go and do a big shit afterall

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:38, Reply)
Was that the norweigan entry?
With their hit song PANBLOCKER.
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:54, Reply)
hang on i'll check if it's still there

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:58, Reply)
nope,
nil points for Norway
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 23:01, Reply)
:(
Hva en massiv skuffelsen
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 23:05, Reply)
I didn't realise you were a homosexual

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:38, Reply)
it's worse than that, 2 can,
i'm a woman
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:39, Reply)
but mostly i'm just bored and on my own

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:39, Reply)
and unfortunately, i don't need a really big shit

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:40, Reply)
couldn't you freeze your shits so when you don't need a shit but want to have one you can just shove it back in there and shit it out again?
I think it's called iglooing or something.
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:03, Reply)
back and forth
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQoJo81lujk
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:03, Reply)
No I think that's something different

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:06, Reply)
if you're sat around at home, make new friends on the telephone

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:22, Reply)
guyrim

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:33, Reply)
guyrim

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:34, Reply)
guyrim

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:40, Reply)
guyrim

(, Sun 24 May 2015, 0:06, Reply)
oh haha yeah like there are any women here.

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:04, Reply)
only me and you

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:12, Reply)
see what i did there,
i insulted you by calling you the same thing i am. i'm complicit in my own oppression. #feminism
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 22:13, Reply)
Evening

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 18:01, Reply)
evening

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 18:15, Reply)
evening

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 18:16, Reply)
I thought the previous thread to this was marginally better.
evening
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 18:18, Reply)
yep! it's great if you like slamming into walls and flying off cliffs

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 18:27, Reply)
CC DeVille was oriental!

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 19:12, Reply)
TV set from radio rentals!

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:23, Reply)
margariney butter?

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 18:56, Reply)
Evening. Starting to regret buying the rabbit now, just found out my wife is pregnant.
Not sure I need a rabbit AND a baby.
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 19:11, Reply)
does she know who the father is?

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 19:14, Reply)
the rabbit

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 19:23, Reply)
TWIST!

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 20:15, Reply)
AND SHOUT!

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 20:29, Reply)
Gear!

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 20:34, Reply)
box!

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 20:43, Reply)
>

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 21:11, Reply)
>

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 20:42, Reply)
That's disgusting mongy, he's only 8 weeks old.

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 20:34, Reply)
MARLON BRANDOW

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 19:44, Reply)
pie

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 19:43, Reply)
afternoon

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 12:17, Reply)
afternoon

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 12:37, Reply)
200cc is fucking mental

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 13:10, Reply)
200cc is fucking mental

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 13:43, Reply)
200cc is fucking mental

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 13:47, Reply)
10cc is fucking mandyl

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 13:53, Reply)
ac/dc fucked a mandrill

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 16:37, Reply)
2cc is a fucking legend

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 19:08, Reply)
yep! it's great if you like slamming into walls and flying off cliffs

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 16:38, Reply)
afternoon

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 12:49, Reply)
afternoon

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 13:08, Reply)
afternoon

(, Sat 23 May 2015, 13:20, Reply)
Been waiting days for a thread of this quality.
afternoon Sir.
(, Sat 23 May 2015, 14:22, Reply)

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