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Can't believe I missed out on Star Trek chat whilst having a quiet night of Warhammer painting and rum.
Sunday morning, all.
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 10:30, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBTVrsjeRlA
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:20, Reply)
very funny!

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:37, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hfzkgc6r6-A
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:49, Reply)
Noel Edmonds has set up his own radio station dedicated to his beef with Lloyds Bank.
He is interviewing himself at the moment.
edge01.media.positivityradio.world:8081/positively/noel64/icecast.audio

The tracks he plays all have links to lying or battles.
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:34, Reply)
depressing

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:43, Reply)
Russell Howard's sister is more annoying than he is

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:50, Reply)
I'm too hungover to find the strikethrough tags on this phone but imagine I turned your rum into bum
Pretty lol I think you'll agree
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 12:37, Reply)
hmm weird,
a post i made on /board a couple of weeks ago seems to have vanished, did it break a rule? :/
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:19, Reply)
what was it?
also
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwDAiAKhsCs
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 0:31, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyKq7Aax-hI
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 0:36, Reply)
it’s probably just dropped off the page
click on the ‘older posts’ link
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 10:51, Reply)
Bugger all on the telly

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:12, Reply)
What would you like them to show?

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:26, Reply)
No he means there's a documentary about a very active homosexual

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:38, Reply)
there's something about Clary

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:58, Reply)
So these pots of weed are a stain called stardog, it's alright

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:52, Reply)
Apparently I have 'New York Orange Diesel', wow eh
In fairness it's good.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:38, Reply)
we've got Netflix now,
we've been watching Star Trek TNG. It is completely stupid.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 20:56, Reply)
Hey, that was my Star Trek benchmark during my teenage years.
It's still my second-favourite Star Trek series.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:23, Reply)
what's your first?
we're still only on series 2, i'm told it gets better. although i am enjoying it, don't get me wrong.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:27, Reply)
The original series, with its epic scenery-chewing and groundbreaking interracial romances.
I've yet to get caught up in a single incarnation of Star Trek other than those two (and the films). DS9 was torpedoed from the word go by the horrible acting of the bloke who played Benjamin Sisko; Voyager had its moments but it let itself down by turning into a space Corrie.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:29, Reply)
we watched Enterprise just before TNG, and i think that one is my favourite now,
Original Series is always the benchmark for me tbh, but the first two series of TNG just seem to be rehashes of TOS stories, and it's just not breaking any ground anymore.

Enterprise is so damned cheerful though, everyone is just really excited to be in space, it's really positive and uplifting, they respect the original series canon in fact i think it manages to make TOS better which has to be the mark of a good prequel.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:35, Reply)
Shut up m8

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:39, Reply)
no you shut up

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:42, Reply)
also T'Pol really does have a nice bum

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:43, Reply)
He was good in Flash Gordon
'ARE YOU INJURRED?'
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:51, Reply)
Look! We've been joined by the man whose opinion is more important than everybody else's!
I don't know about you but I'm feeling privileged.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:03, Reply)
he really is a grumpy old shit

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:16, Reply)
haha
if Grrrmachine is calling you a grumpy old shit you know you've got problems
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:26, Reply)
thatsthejoke.jpg

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:49, Reply)
there's no such thing as jokes

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:51, Reply)
jokes are an abstract concept

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:51, Reply)
clabs

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:56, Reply)
I'm not about to lecture you about glass houses and stones
but you've become considerably more of a troll throwing out cheap insults since your post-flounce return.

Meanwhile, Mcbeef is sprawled on the couch, tilting like a beached whale as he digests the last remnants of home-made pizza, pissed up on red wine and fumbling with his massive drugs pipe as he yells at the television.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:29, Reply)
every few months the more active accounts get reallocated
the Grrrmachine account is now run by the original Parrott owner, while user McBeef is being maintained by Dr Shambolic's original handler. We'll come full circle in a few years.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:51, Reply)
So *that's* why banned poster Dozington Shitstick can come back under a different name every week.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:00, Reply)
it doesn't get good until riker has a beard and bev is back as the doctor.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:09, Reply)
Riker already has a beard,
Dr Pulaski is a proper bellend though
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:11, Reply)
The best doctor throughout all the Star Treks was the EMH played by Robert Picardo.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:30, Reply)
dunno is he the Voyager guy?
i never really watched it much, i am a great admirer of Dr Phlox out of Enterprise though, so cheerfully eccentric
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:32, Reply)
Yeah, he was quite curmudgeonly to begin with. But much like Data or Vulcans he served as a device that was always trying to comprehend what it is to be human.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:38, Reply)
Data seems to be the only one getting any plot development in TNG so far,
Wesley Crusher is sort of progressing but not really developing as a character.

Also, shut up Wesley
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:41, Reply)
Watch gazorra, it is far more entertaining

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:46, Reply)
dunno what that is,
we've been recommended The Expanse.
we also watch The Good Place
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:47, Reply)
the expanse is well worth your time
the acting isn't top drawer, but the writing is excellent and the production is consistently impressive
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:48, Reply)
Afternoon
Went to MaccyD's for coffee. Used my collect 6 stickers and get a free coffee coupon. The free coffee came with a sticker, now only need five coffees next time.

Your move Ronald.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 12:56, Reply)
Cool story, bro.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:10, Reply)
I don't normally buy coffee to go like a prick
but I prefer their coffee over Starbucks, Costa and the other generic high street chains.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:12, Reply)
And me.
It's probably because they do proper long/filter coffee rather than Americano nonsense.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:25, Reply)
Family day out in Bristol. It's fantastic!
Apart from the bit in Las iguanas where they handed me a tablet to do a customer satisfaction survey and I had to tick the "35 to 44" age range foe the first time.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:14, Reply)
Lol old

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:17, Reply)
You could've avoided that by not being a survey-filling-out prick.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:26, Reply)
Shit Mexican.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:57, Reply)
You're a shit Mexican Jeff

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:41, Reply)
Said no Juan ever.

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
what happy meal toy did you get?

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:25, Reply)
happy end, more like

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:34, Reply)
shoved it straight up his arse without even looking at it first

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:40, Reply)
ok well when they get the x-ray can someone let me know

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:48, Reply)
The doctor said it appears to be a very frightend looking person who used to work the drive through
..whoops.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 15:39, Reply)
asparagus for lunch
#smellywee
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:33, Reply)
Just trimmed my hedge. Phwoar!

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 14:25, Reply)
In front of a Glasgow audience who sat stony-faced through the "my foot, wooden leg" callback.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 14:26, Reply)
Alright B. Beard

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 9:21, Reply)
their coffee tastes like ashtray

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 16:19, Reply)
Dunno if I dare ask how you know what ashtrays taste of

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 18:04, Reply)
Let's just say I know

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:01, Reply)
Morning
How is everyone today?
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 8:47, Reply)
Fine thanks m8
Just waiting for my wife and kid to wake up so fun can begin. Got guests for lunch. How r u lol
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 8:58, Reply)
allright
got a to-do list for the weekend, been putting off household stuff all week. Who's coming for lunch?
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:03, Reply)
probably the honourable Earl and Duchess of Cunt as well as Lord Hash, who is a favoured guest of the Beefs since way back when

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:14, Reply)
How did they meet?

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:15, Reply)
Round Woodkovsky's gaff at his annual Shitcunt Ball

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:17, Reply)
Now my social calendar feels grossly underwhelming

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:20, Reply)
I should get tickets for this year

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:21, Reply)
it's always a laugh and a half, mait
much cheaper than Ascot and everyone is VIP. Richard's come the past four times but never remembers because he boozes up straight away. and my partys always last a week.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:31, Reply)
what kind of snacks are there?

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:34, Reply)
groundnuts mainly

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:49, Reply)
special guests this year: Daft Spunk, the Bust Brothers, Magenta and the Poo Fighters

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 10:10, Reply)
Wife's best pal, her husband and their 3 kids
I'm cooking pizzas. Dough and sauce made yesterday so zero prep.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:16, Reply)
Homemade pizza
bit fancy, I'd of popped to Tesco myself.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:20, Reply)
Homemade pizza hi 5.
I'm just tucking into leftovers from last night. Somehow just as tasty cold.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 10:51, Reply)
gonna do a lamb tagine i reckon

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 11:14, Reply)

lamb tagine chinchilla up the whoopsy
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:47, Reply)
Hoovering, doing the laundry and trimming the hedge literally single-handedly.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 11:20, Reply)
well i just got a pikachu that can surf so y'know
it's going pretty great
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 11:34, Reply)
Got smashed last night watching the football
So I've gone out for a pint and breakfast.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 11:41, Reply)
Successful weekending then.
I went and saw 3 billboards, had a few pints in a Jazz club while some blues band played then, just out of basic curiosity, tried out the Taco Bell they have in Glasgow. It was unsurprisingly very bland.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 11:56, Reply)
Good film?

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 12:54, Reply)
So far so good.
Lazy morning, at the yard now having a coffee, got to pop and see my dad and then if it stops raining I might go out for a few pints.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 12:42, Reply)
Got to say a big 'sorry' to Paul's mum here
That was some serious pooing
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:50, Reply)
i hope you at least double flushed

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:54, Reply)
Not even once

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 22:00, Reply)
I've had about 5 pints and I'm feeling fucked, must be ill, 2 shoe or not to shoe, that is the question

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 18:19, Reply)
good bit of shoe will sort you out

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 18:37, Reply)
I'm going home, some old prick who thinks he knows watches has turned up, he pesters me

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 19:04, Reply)
shank him

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 19:17, Reply)
no solids in the downstairs toilet

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 18:37, Reply)
Do you have a aresehole like a collapsed mineshaft ?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 18:46, Reply)
Full of Endermen?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 19:10, Reply)
B+

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 21:59, Reply)
I think it's disgusting that in this day and age video games are being released which teach children that every time you see a black man he's probably about to either steal something or assault you

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 23:58, Reply)
local kebab joint is now taking bookings for Valentines

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 19:18, Reply)
If three people turn up together,
do they get a special spitroast menu?
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 19:24, Reply)
Just seen that Three Billboards. Was 'alright'.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 21:09, Reply)
i might goand see that myself

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 21:24, Reply)
I would've seen it Sunday, but they're showing Magnolia as a one-off then, and I've not seen that.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 22:03, Reply)
I don't think we really want to know what scatological shennanigans you've been up to with manolith's mum.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 21:48, Reply)
Anyone up for going over to Paul's house to do a poo?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:27, Reply)
Na

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:33, Reply)
go on
beansy's going
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:46, Reply)
Fucken beansy??
I haven't seen him in ages!
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:56, Reply)
always up for a laugh is beansy

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:59, Reply)
he's fucken dope

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:00, Reply)
Apart from that time he tried it on with my sister when we went to see Gremlins 2

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:08, Reply)
oh come on m8 she was totally leading him on

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:15, Reply)
^

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:22, Reply)
Oh yeah
That was out of order
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:18, Reply)
no real names pls

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:40, Reply)
soz

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:46, Reply)
yup k

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:42, Reply)
cool
see you there
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:46, Reply)
not sure I can hold it in till I get there

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:44, Reply)
just meet us in the kitchen

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:46, Reply)
looks like there's been a bad crash on the a45 so I might stay in the pub a bit longer
bogs aren't very nice here though
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:50, Reply)
they are playing Terence Trent D'arby though

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:55, Reply)
wishing well?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:56, Reply)
nah just standard urinals

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:00, Reply)
Ah, good
I also would have accepted "No, the Red Lion on the high street"
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:01, Reply)
remember the rule
5 and drive
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:09, Reply)
Is this some sort of yoof slang?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:46, Reply)
the streets gotta hold on me

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:47, Reply)
i always poo in the morning
so the tank's empty
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:50, Reply)
good call

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:58, Reply)
defo

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:52, Reply)
cheers

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:58, Reply)
You should have put this on /calendar.
I'd have taken the afternoon off.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:52, Reply)
Calendar could deffo do with some more events

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:54, Reply)

ev b
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:56, Reply)
It needs more $$.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:57, Reply)
I just want the cool people there

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:59, Reply)
it's already there
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/25690
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:00, Reply)
I don't like the look of that guest list.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:07, Reply)
a couple of non-wipers there I'll admit

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:22, Reply)
Is the two wipe finish an individual target
Or is it across all attendees?
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:16, Reply)
two wipes seems a bit unhygienic

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:54, Reply)
Nah

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:24, Reply)
Ffs sake I've just this minute finished shitting down a rubbish chute , I need to check my phone more

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:33, Reply)
+ RHC

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:36, Reply)
besides b3ta, what do you do when you're at work with nothing to do?
I'm playing with transport tycoon because I'm a nerd.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:19, Reply)
giggling in the toilets

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:21, Reply)
Goss with Trisha from the help desk about fat Lauren

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:22, Reply)
Nobody is buying the thyroid problem Lauren you fat bitch

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:23, Reply)
she's such a bitch

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:24, Reply)
I reckon she's gunna get lipo when's she's in Turkey next month

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:25, Reply)
She fucking should

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:28, Reply)
what a fucking bitch

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:30, Reply)
Needs her fat fucking face wired shut the bitch

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:32, Reply)
she's the reason the copier broke... the fat cunt

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:12, Reply)
Reddit, Facebook, personal e-mail, chat to people on Skype, wank, listen to music.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:22, Reply)
I just sit in the break room smashing f5

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:25, Reply)
Odd nickname for yer wang m8

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:31, Reply)
there's always something to do, I just can't be arsed

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:26, Reply)
At work with nothing to do?
I wonder what that's like.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:26, Reply)
Save the 'I'm so busy, woe is me' patter for LinkedIn m8.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:33, Reply)
Twitter (which is fine because I do social media for work anyway)
Guardian, BBC, Independent, The Conversation, Telegraph.

Keep an eye on 'em. Kinda work related.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:27, Reply)
The Independent is more like buzzfeed these days

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:12, Reply)
I'm always busy but if I want a bit of a break, I go for a nice poo

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:34, Reply)
an ice poo?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:44, Reply)
There's no heating in there, does get a bit chilly

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:47, Reply)
I want to post a reply to this
but I'll get told off for being weird again
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:48, Reply)
Is it about me frotting myself with frozen shit dildos?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:55, Reply)
no
I just wondered whether the ice made it slip out more easily, or if the turds stuck to your ringpiece like when you like a frozen lamppost.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:57, Reply)
I do like frozen lampposts, it's true

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:01, Reply)
Clicked "I lick this"

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:02, Reply)

Clicked
this
windows
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:05, Reply)
I masturbate

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:16, Reply)
^not a master of his domain

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:18, Reply)
I'm out

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:21, Reply)

i.makeagif.com/media/10-30-2014/Ib0FLd.gif
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:33, Reply)
I'm not sure what that was
but I liked it all the same
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:34, Reply)
isn't that limmy?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:07, Reply)
yes

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:09, Reply)
out of Motorhiad?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:10, Reply)
isn't that wonderflimmy

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:15, Reply)
The singer for the South African Motörhead tribute band?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:16, Reply)
Currently watching the snooker
You play Cities Skylines? That is addictive.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:20, Reply)
^tggi
I've lost hours to that game trying to sort out congestion problems in the city centre
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:31, Reply)

thumbs.gfycat.com/EmbarrassedFragrantEskimodog-max-1mb.gif
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:19, Reply)
LOL

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:26, Reply)
It's going to be one of those days, isn't it?
First a lacklustre morning thread, now this silly behaviour.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:29, Reply)
I wanted to do one of those
META
E
T
A

morning threads, but it didn't work out.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:30, Reply)
Frankly m8 I had no idea what the fuck you were on about with all those cryptic one-letter replies.
I'm still not sure it makes any sense.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:40, Reply)
It says Friday you spastic

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:40, Reply)
No u

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:41, Reply)
Oh, god, not silly behaviour. We shouldn't be having a laugh. This is a place for serious discussion.
We need Manolith to start banning these daft people.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:30, Reply)
Stop that! It's silly.
And a bit suspect, I think.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:33, Reply)
There's some right cheerless buggers on here...
and Im not talking about sodomy.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:35, Reply)
last time I did a pun thread manolith got all stroppy
so I'm sure he'd be happy to serve as Joy Police
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:42, Reply)
I got some UNLOL information this morning
And I am offended by this thread.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:35, Reply)
Yeah?
Well get fucked, shitface.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:36, Reply)
You are a disgrace to the homosexual community
You should be disbarred.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:41, Reply)
I was queen of the scene in Newcastle M8

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:44, Reply)
UNLOL sounds like a UN peacekeeping force deployed to Somalia.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:36, Reply)
My firm's working on handkerchiefs laced with sleeping pills for insomniac Somalians
They're called Mogatissues.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:39, Reply)


(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:42, Reply)
They exists to keep the peace... And bring some fun

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:42, Reply)
Sounds like Suicide Squad, but fewer shit.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:43, Reply)
If someone ever says "Nah, that film's alright"
Then their view on anything is null and void. A terrible terrible film.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:46, Reply)
If anyone said that to me, I'd automatically assume they liked Michael Bay.
Painfully awful from beginning to end. The thing that disappoints me the most about is the sheer amount of potential they wasted.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:48, Reply)
i no

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:17, Reply)
no i

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:18, Reply)
I've fucked work off until Monday, cbfa

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:27, Reply)
No

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:16, Reply)
Look at this threadstompin' bizzatch all up in the hizzy.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:18, Reply)
We did weekend plans on like Wednesday.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:23, Reply)
Yeah but like plans are fickle and can change at the drop of the hat.
Which reminds me that I saw an ex last night who changed her mind literally every five minutes and it was the most infuriating fucking thing.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:24, Reply)
being filled with a soul-wrenching regret as the cum drips off her eyelid
is hardly "changing her mind literally every five minutes" m8
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:29, Reply)
Go and have a wank or something you fucking weirdo

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:32, Reply)
Ever spent an entire evening wandering around Paris
and changing restaurants ten times, sometimes after we'd been sat down and given menus? Ever booked a holiday to Alsace to see the Christmas market and packed your bags only to hear, about five minutes before you had to leave the flat to catch your train, that she didn't feel like going any more? Yeah.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:33, Reply)
I'm sorry I suggested your friendship was homoerotic m8
I'd never heard the phrase "tie one on" before. There's just so many ways to talk about getting drunk.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:18, Reply)
I'm deeply upset and I'm not talking to you anymore

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:22, Reply)
ok

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:23, Reply)
Weekend glans
roll up! roll up!

Share your tragic, mundane lives with the rest of us, by telling us your weekend glans.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:15, Reply)
Pub crawl in some godforsaken northern town with a load of 18 year old rugby kids

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:18, Reply)
3/7 u?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-42736949
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:58, Reply)
2/7
let down by a lack of footwear knowledge
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:01, Reply)
1/7
Bloody hell.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:03, Reply)
I got 2 and one of those was a guess

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:03, Reply)
4 u whore lol

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:04, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:05, Reply)
"Sleepy Head" Your score: 1/7

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:09, Reply)
4
eva in r hrtz
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:10, Reply)
Yeah?
Chilling. No jobs on. You?
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:11, Reply)
Finally a thread I feel comfortable replying to

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:12, Reply)
Seeing my old mate Danny tonight,
He's back from America for the week. Might tie one on like the old days.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:15, Reply)
You be careful

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:16, Reply)
I will.
We're only up in his old village and I don't think the new landlord at the Lion does lock ins like the old days.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, Reply)
Reading further down , I no longer feel comfortable in this thread, it's a shame

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:44, Reply)
see you in Jason's weekend plans thread

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:48, Reply)
Didn't that happen earlier in the week? It normally does

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:49, Reply)
oh well somebody might post the bbc quiz

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:51, Reply)
Christ not that tedious old bollocks

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:58, Reply)
This place has gone to shit

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:01, Reply)
you fucking miserable turnips

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:11, Reply)
Did the condom often slip off when you fucked his arse in the past?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:19, Reply)
Why does your mind seem to always go to such weird places?
Were you private school educated where bumming your mates was normal?
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:33, Reply)
private primary and an all-boys grammar m8

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:39, Reply)
so, no bints then?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:41, Reply)
the all-bints school was down the road
but the distinctive uniforms made it hard to bunk off to chat them up
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:41, Reply)

Godby in his day
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:47, Reply)
it's missing the house colours

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:01, Reply)
Same here
January's always light because none of the managers have their budgets in place yet. It's a dick move by the company and screws over the contractors, but none of the suits give a shit.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:14, Reply)
Weve done so much over the last year that all the little bitty jobs that keep you ticking along have sort of dried up.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:21, Reply)
I'm with the suits on this one

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:22, Reply)
Me too

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, Reply)
+ #

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:38, Reply)
Yeah
boss is off today so we're working in our pants
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:17, Reply)
I love pants.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, Reply)
BT turned up at 9.
Still no internet *sigh*
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:22, Reply)
Kick off.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, Reply)
Have you tried turning it off and on again?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, Reply)
Getting quietly psyched up for the weekend.
A friend of mine suggested champagne at her place tomorrow but it would have meant spending the afternoon with her six-year-old as well, who apparently doesn't like gentlemen callers, so I'm going to do a dry run instead of how long it takes me to get from my current office to the place of the interview on Wednesday to make sure I allow for enough time on the day.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, Reply)
I wish I hadn't read that.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:25, Reply)
Maybe if you took a violent blow to the head, it would cause a bit of short-term memory loss
and then you wouldn't have to live with the memory of having read it.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:26, Reply)
huh?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:39, Reply)
he's got the chance to get blasted and his knob polished with some bint he knows
but the cost is looking like a decent surrogate father first and he doesn't think it's worth the effort.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:41, Reply)
I'mma hire you as my interpreter.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:14, Reply)
I've got loads to do
wanna pop over and give me a hand?
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, Reply)
Disgusting

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:25, Reply)
it helps me to focus

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:29, Reply)
Not really mate, no.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:25, Reply)
might bike up to the rec if you are up for it?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:31, Reply)
Yeah? I'd love to.
Will you push me on the swings.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:32, Reply)
yes

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:35, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:12, Reply)
Morning

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:27, Reply)
F

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:31, Reply)
O

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:36, Reply)
R

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:51, Reply)
T

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:01, Reply)
R

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:41, Reply)
Morning.
That short ffillum thing last night was alright. They devoted the whole second half of the programme to what started out looking like a really interesting documentary about bush taxis (lol bush) in Senegal, but then it got interlarded with a load of bent rubbish Stephen Sondheim-style song and dance numbers.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:12, Reply)
R

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:23, Reply)

R L
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:39, Reply)

*golf clap*
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:46, Reply)
oh God not another one

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:13, Reply)
I

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:23, Reply)
Urgh

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:30, Reply)
D

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:33, Reply)
another shit day at the warehouse?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:48, Reply)
I'm at home waiting for BT this morning
Knowing I only had a half day today I rather overdid the old plonk
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:54, Reply)
you plonker

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:09, Reply)
DT with BT

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:44, Reply)
DP with RmB, DT & BT

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:09, Reply)
(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:39, Reply)
A

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:39, Reply)
The sun is shining but it's a cold, hard morning out there
for some reason the heating doesn't come on in the office until 1030 so you could cut glass with my nipples, they're that hard.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:42, Reply)
Y

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:46, Reply)
Mmmmm Tom Hardy

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:01, Reply)
star trek nemesis was shit

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:04, Reply)
What did you expect of a film that's named after
and Alton Towers Ride?
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:40, Reply)
Loved him in Peaky Blinders

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:50, Reply)
He left no piece of scenery unchewed
But yes, very entertaining.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:39, Reply)
My favourite line
And another hundred cause you're a cunt, mate.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:10, Reply)
Stone cold and hard...do you call your nipples 'Bruce Lee'?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:48, Reply)
Yul & Brynner

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:01, Reply)
Winner winner, Yul & Brynner.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:04, Reply)
Gninrom.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:10, Reply)
that's better than your usual spelling

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:14, Reply)
Hi huns.
(Not you, Atilla)
weekend is upon us. I'm going to be 36 on Sunday :(
Meeting some mates tonight and tomorrow afternoon. Should be a low key affair.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:11, Reply)
but life begins at 39.
life the inevitable midlife crisis
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:14, Reply)
Im actually really cool with the old age thing...
If I could take a pill and reverse back to my twenties, I'd flush it down the shitter...

(suppository)
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:17, Reply)
Think of it as experience and maturity rather than age
also, look at how all the 20 somethings you encounter are utter wankers and be grateful you've now moved past that point
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:21, Reply)
Yeah, I have more fun now than my 20s
but goodgrief - my 30s were a very good era!
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:36, Reply)
1982 club

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:14, Reply)
I said the Jacob's Museum tour would be shit, but would you listen

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:16, Reply)
crackers!

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:16, Reply)
Vg

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
Jesus
Isn't that nearly 50 in gay years?
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:17, Reply)
Thankfully I got married!

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:09, Reply)
Still gay tho

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:38, Reply)
+ stone

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:23, Reply)
Im thinner now, keep up, Folkesy

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:10, Reply)
You're naught but a whippersnapper
oh - and I hope your low-key biffday is lots of fun. The Via Fossa on the cards at all? New Union? I used to work there...
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:37, Reply)
Yeah will be down the old Anal Treet tonight for a bit

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, Reply)
Bit of what?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:57, Reply)
What up mafk

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:16, Reply)
yes, quite

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:28, Reply)
word up, bishes

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:19, Reply)
*gang signs*

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:28, Reply)
Someone left a packet of Black Jack sweets in the kitchen
now I've got the plague
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:22, Reply)
I like Black Jacks
and other aniseed flavoured things
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:28, Reply)
Alright, France Gall.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:35, Reply)
Old.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:42, Reply)
I was about to query whether age was a factor,
before realising that I, too, am old.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:15, Reply)
yeah, but I liked aniseed 20 years ago too
I drank a lot of ouzo at university
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:33, Reply)

+m i
ouzo sailor spunk
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:49, Reply)
it's not gay if you're at university.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:53, Reply)
I think this is the point - Windy probably wasn't born 20 years ago.
We used to get given Pastis on family holidays to Brittany - we'd spend the odd day with the farming couple who lived next door to the cottage we rented (they spoke no English, we spoke little French), and they were adamant that it was no worse for children than squash.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:53, Reply)
Morning bumtits

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:30, Reply)
shake em if you got em, sugarlump

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:36, Reply)
The previous occupant of my house is a member of a wine club
How do I know this? Because a case of Chilean cabernet sauvignon has been delivered whilst I was at work and taken in by the cleaner. A good end to a shit day
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:05, Reply)
Check how much it's worth before you play finders keepers.
You don't want to have to replace it!
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:08, Reply)
Are you saying he should do a case study

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:14, Reply)
Yes, you may be grapeful later on down the line

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:02, Reply)
My ex missus was a member of a whine club....oh hahahaha

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:12, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:14, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:00, Reply)
[dogname]

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:02, Reply)
jeff's right
that might be some expensive shit yo
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:15, Reply)
Really? Does Chile make expensive wines ?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:29, Reply)
Very few
These are £6-7 bottles
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:00, Reply)
That's high end, by my standards.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:01, Reply)
Above £20 a bottle I can't tell the difference: £25 or £150, no idea
But £10 compared with £5...night and day, for reds at least
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:08, Reply)
Yeah, I was kidding.
Pretty much given up wine, though, so it's moot.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:13, Reply)
Sup moot

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:39, Reply)
You like beer, mcb likes wine , I like strong larger , but I'm sure we all enjoy each others choice, so we should have e way dripping hot sauna sex , imho

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 20:48, Reply)
I'm game.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 21:35, Reply)
Uh, no homo.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 21:38, Reply)
bathe in it then put it back in the bottles

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:19, Reply)
If no one signed for it, get it down your neck and put the evidence in your neighbours bin.
If the cleaner signed for it, well you're probably best to leave it.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:30, Reply)
Ah but no-one with the cleaner's name lives here do they?
#clever #4dchess #fraud
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:02, Reply)
unrelated, but there's a proper fucking blizzard going on outside
The snow's been blasted onto my windows like so much arctic bukkake
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:50, Reply)
worst dessert ever

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 18:52, Reply)
seriously, my window looks like a yeti wanked on it

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:39, Reply)
Just doing my job, man.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 22:40, Reply)
I'd like some proper snow in london, ain't had any for years

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:38, Reply)
I'll pop some in the post

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:43, Reply)
I fell off my bike twice today.
Once when my back tyre kicked out on sheet ice, and once when I stood up to pedal leaving work and the freewheel slipped.

I think my freewheel's starting to jam open. Might need to try and clean it.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:00, Reply)
freewheel? but it should only have two

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:02, Reply)
Just checked on amazon and a sturmey archer single speed freewheel is £11.
It's really not worth trying to take apart the old one and trying to fix it is it? I'll just loose the bearings and swear a lot.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:37, Reply)
not once you've bought the special grease and a pair of needlenose pliers for the circlip
and then waited a week for a new circlip cos the original one bent while you were taking it off. Fuck it, get a new one.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:38, Reply)
Worse beasties cover eva

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:41, Reply)
Aye, it's spent a year outside and I remember reading some complaints about the original one failing for some people.
It does seem like I probably should do the hub bearings while I'm there though.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:48, Reply)
Get yourself a new wheel, and some gears while you're at it

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 20:12, Reply)
Might as well just get a new bike.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 20:18, Reply)
If it's been exposed for a year and you don't regularly grease and maintain it, then yeah, the whole thing is probably beyond repair
AND THE SAME GOES FOR YOUR BICYCLE ahahaha.
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 20:25, Reply)
That's some cheap arse steel then

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 21:08, Reply)
That, plus aluminium parts plus winter road salt ain't great if you want to ever take it apart again

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 21:15, Reply)
Meh, ordered a new freewheel, some cone spanners and some grease.

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 22:13, Reply)
Good luck

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 22:38, Reply)
That's what you get for not paying for wheels m8

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:03, Reply)
lol, Slippery

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:13, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:16, Reply)
shut up?

(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:16, Reply)

freewheel's foreskin's
(, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 19:17, Reply)

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