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it's all just endless, mono. endless.
and every day on here is mono and baldmonkey groundhog day. I might go on a killing spree.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:55, archived)
how will you kill?
I'm going to say you'll use your saggy milkers like a flail and batter people to death.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:57, archived)
I'd want a machine gun.
I want, and I may have said this before, I want to stride down Portsmouth's Commercial Road with a machine gun shouting "GUILTY!" and shooting people.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:00, archived)
for some reason I imagine you singing three blind mice while you pull the trigger and carve a path of destruction

this probably says more about me than you :'(
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
I had a dream once about this. The A-Team were helping me.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:06, archived)
imma waterboard you with Irn bru, jocky mcJockstrap.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:07, archived)
is this supposed to be a punishment?
water would be more effective, with no sugar in it I'd probaby crack in seconds.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:08, archived)
I'd love to go on a killing spree but, ironically, I don't have the balls.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:58, archived)
Try bullets

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:04, archived)
Me and baldmonkey make this a better place.
We should be knighted.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:06, archived)
Do you have any crotchless knickers?

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:08, archived)
All her knickers are crotchless.
Due to erosion.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:10, archived)
it's high tide at janet's crotch!

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:12, archived)
malformed leathery labia
destroy the delicate gusset
of waxed tarpaulin smalls
which are anything but small

- Wordsworth (extract from The Stench Of Defeat)
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:16, archived)
Or corrosion.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:12, archived)
I heard, now bear in mind this is just a rumour and I have no proof of this, right, but I heard
that once she was sitting on a chair and she stood up, but due to the suction, she lifted the chair up with her.
Don't shoot the messager, I'm just repeating what I heard.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:16, archived)
shit! I heard this too!
it's also why they call her spiderwoman, cause she can climb walls with her vadge.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:20, archived)
I heard that this one time in P.E. at school she was climbing a rope, and when she wanted to come down again, she slid all the way.
And the next person to try climbing it ended up with chemical burns on their hands and a smell of rotting flesh that wouldn't go away.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:21, archived)
no that's the perforated eel.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:25, archived)
no. I prefer the element of surprise.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:12, archived)
as in "holy fuck it's looking at me funny!"

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:14, archived)
You know that bit in Alien when the alien drools and the flob hits the floor and starts dissolving it?
Well, that.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:18, archived)
or in predator where the predator roars.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:19, archived)