it's all just endless, mono. endless.
and every day on here is mono and baldmonkey groundhog day. I might go on a killing spree.
( janet aylia living la vida loony, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:55, archived)

how will you kill?
I'm going to say you'll use your saggy milkers like a flail and batter people to death.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:57, archived)

I'd want a machine gun.
I want, and I may have said this before, I want to stride down Portsmouth's Commercial Road with a machine gun shouting "GUILTY!" and shooting people.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:00, archived)

for some reason I imagine you singing three blind mice while you pull the trigger and carve a path of destruction
"SEE HOW THEY RUN"

this probably says more about me than you :'(
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:03, archived)

I had a dream once about this. The A-Team were helping me.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:06, archived)

imma waterboard you with Irn bru, jocky mcJockstrap.

( janet aylia living la vida loony, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:07, archived)

is this supposed to be a punishment?
water would be more effective, with no sugar in it I'd probaby crack in seconds.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:08, archived)

I'd love to go on a killing spree but, ironically, I don't have the balls.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:58, archived)

Try bullets

( Eddache, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:04, archived)

Me and baldmonkey make this a better place.
We should be knighted.
( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:06, archived)

Do you have any crotchless knickers?

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Tue 8 May 2012, 9:08, archived)

All her knickers are crotchless.
Due to erosion.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:10, archived)

it's high tide at janet's crotch!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:12, archived)

malformed leathery labia
destroy the delicate gusset
of waxed tarpaulin smalls
which are anything but small

- Wordsworth (extract from The Stench Of Defeat)
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:16, archived)

Or corrosion.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:12, archived)

I heard, now bear in mind this is just a rumour and I have no proof of this, right, but I heard
that once she was sitting on a chair and she stood up, but due to the suction, she lifted the chair up with her.
Don't shoot the messager, I'm just repeating what I heard.
( Eddache, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:16, archived)

shit! I heard this too!
it's also why they call her spiderwoman, cause she can climb walls with her vadge.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:20, archived)

I heard that this one time in P.E. at school she was climbing a rope, and when she wanted to come down again, she slid all the way.
And the next person to try climbing it ended up with chemical burns on their hands and a smell of rotting flesh that wouldn't go away.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:21, archived)

no that's the perforated eel.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:25, archived)

no. I prefer the element of surprise.

( janet aylia living la vida loony, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:12, archived)

as in "holy fuck it's looking at me funny!"

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:14, archived)

You know that bit in Alien when the alien drools and the flob hits the floor and starts dissolving it?
Well, that.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:18, archived)

or in predator where the predator roars.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:19, archived)