I wish MONO was here.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:48, archived)

As if by magic....

( MONO!, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:50, archived)

It's like I can see you come in the office.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:53, archived)

Good weekend?

( MONO!, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:54, archived)

Yes. Very. Had some real life friends round and did making music in the loft.
It was all awful but very good fun.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:56, archived)

Why wasn't I invited?

( MONO!, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:01, archived)

Because you are neither real nor life.
There is a link if you are like: www.youtu.be/pJKDQMTpNRE
Might work. might not.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:02, archived)

Oh.
Well that's a shame, cause I have a present for you.
( MONO!, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:02, archived)

I heard gonzo shat in a carrier bag and it split open.
I miss all the good weekends.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:03, archived)

Great.

( MONO!, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:09, archived)

I don't!!!
nah, he's alright that MONO!
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:56, archived)

Good banter, mmps.
Hey, I got a really good photo of a male and female blackbird next to each other yesterday.
I thought I'd copied it to the computer and then I deleted it from the camera but, you'll never guess what, I HADN'T copied it to the computer. Oh my life. What am I like?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:58, archived)

haha! that just sums up your crazy waki life right there.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:04, archived)

Also, had some pretzels that tasted of peas. Horrid things.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:07, archived)

oh man, you got the wrong pretzels.
you life is like a wallace and gromit cartoon or something.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:10, archived)

No he's not.

( MONO!, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:01, archived)

he's going to fight himself, MONO! et MONO!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:05, archived)

Good one, Dad.

( MONO!, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:09, archived)

Yes, I am a dad.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:11, archived)

he's going to fight a mod MONO! et mano.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:11, archived)

He's going to fight a 1970s rock group that I thought was an individual up until I just googled it; MONO! et Mungo

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:13, archived)

He's going to fight the most popular of the Hex-Bug series; MONO et Nano.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:15, archived)

He's going to become a racist and start attacking negroes; MONO et sambo.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:16, archived)

Christ alive. I'm 16 minutes into the working week and I already wish I was dead.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:16, archived)

I wish you were dead too.

( MONO!, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:17, archived)

At least I've never got a stiffy from stroking a dog.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:23, archived)

you say that like it's a good thing.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:41, archived)

:'(
and I bet you don't have any trifle.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:17, archived)

two cereal bars, two packets of crisps, two cheese sandwiches, two cans of pepsi.
No trifle.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:20, archived)

fucking hell, you need some trifle.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:24, archived)

I've got eight consumable items but a trifle ain't one.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:28, archived)

You could make a trifle with that

( MONO!, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:27, archived)

he's going to have a south american dance-off, MONO! et mambo

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:16, archived)

he's going to fight a popular restaurant chain, MONO! et nando's

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:18, archived)

He's going to fight STDs; MONO et Gono
rrhea
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:22, archived)

He's going to fight the downfall of John Lennon; MONO et Ono

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:24, archived)

He's going to fight some audio connections; MONO et phono

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:25, archived)

He's going to fight a central american folk hero; MONO et Zorro?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:25, archived)

The biggest pricks on the planet are going to fight; MONO et Bono

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:26, archived)

He's going to fight a manufacturer of over-priced car-bling; MONO et MOMO

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:27, archived)

He's going to fight a small fish; MONO et Minnow

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:28, archived)

he's going to fight a music award, MONO! et MOBO

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:39, archived)

He's going to fight a violent central african country; MONO! et Congo

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:20, archived)

He going to fight a french bicycle; MONO et Velo
I think velo is french for bike. might be car. don't care really. isn't car voiture. dunno. might go for a shit.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:30, archived)

He's going to fight a marrow; mono et marrow
pain au. danno, cannon, shruggo
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:32, archived)

he's going to fight a kayak; mono et canoe

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:33, archived)

he's going to fight some drums, MONO! et bongo

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:40, archived)

he's going to fight a big nosed crooner, MONO! et Manilow

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:45, archived)

can I just point out at this stage that the original phrase is 'mano a mano', 'a' not 'et', so could mmps and baldmonkey please go back and edit all their posts to reflect this, cheers

( spesh, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:26, archived)

You're such et prick sometimes.
Fuck off etnd leetve me etlone.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:32, archived)

you fett betllbetg

( spesh, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:36, archived)

Bumplops.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:37, archived)

alright balders, i seen a chiken dun a sik at the weekend
you could put that on your blog but I didn't have a camera with me when the chiken dun a sik. saw lots of buzzards though, some green woodpeckers and a nuthatch.
( spesh, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:47, archived)

I'm sure I read somewhere that he had been killed in a fire

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:41, archived)

that's a lot of fat to burn
LOL!
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:43, archived)

It's true.

( MONO!, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:45, archived)

Good morning two hats.
Thank you for the loan of your bass guitar.
I did a last.fm page for the things we made if you are interested however last.fm is a wanker so it doesn't work.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:08, archived)

Only just saw this, soz
No worries. I'll check it out in a mo.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:11, archived)

more like you wish mono was QUEER
ahahahahahahaha
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:54, archived)

MONO! is of a neutral sexuality
in that no-one will fucking touch him.

LOL!
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:56, archived)

Forced celibacy

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:57, archived)

I read that as celery and thought, you fiend!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:00, archived)

i read that as celebrity and thought, you fiend!

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:03, archived)

Real Forced Lonliness

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:06, archived)

i read that as lioness and thought, you fiend!

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:08, archived)

Soz. I meant "true forced loneliness"
You should totes look it up on youtube.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:11, archived)

"A term and a movement that was started by a man named Bill Greathouse (Bill1224602 on You Tube) that basically describes people that are "forced" to be alone because they perceive other women (or men in some cases) to be rejecting them because they are too shallow. They seem to think that they are entitled to have a woman or man."
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:12, archived)

A 'movement'?
Mental disorder more like
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:14, archived)

Oh, for serious.
You should see some of their wobbling ranty mouth-to-webcam sexy action.
It's a sort of comic-tragedy.
They make gonzo look like a catch.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:16, archived)

That's twice already today that I've been horrid to gonzo.
Dunno why. We've been getting on fine lately.
Soz Goz.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:18, archived)

Watching some now
It doesn't occur to them that desperation is probably to blame for most of their problems?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:20, archived)

Oh for goodness sake
Of COURSE people immediately judge you on your looks...that's human nature. People can become more or less attractive as you get to know them, but your first reaction has to be based on how they look.
What a prick.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:23, archived)

Yeah.
It's best to view it as a joke; if you start trying to list all the things they say and do which are mental and incorrect, you'll never get anything else done ever again.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:31, archived)

No, I'm starting to see that
Wow. Sad really.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:34, archived)

Not sad. Pathetic.They should be dead.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:36, archived)

Well I can't think of a better solution

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:41, archived)

i read that as jizz in my eye and thought, you fiend!

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:09, archived)

Oh, so it appears that the most talented person in Britain
is a dog
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:14, archived)

We should be on bgt.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:17, archived)

I mentioned this possibility to my boss
and he pretty much demanded that we do it. I don't see how I have any other choice. He could fire me you know.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:22, archived)

I'll do it if he gives me a part time admin job.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:23, archived)

Well I'll ask him
but I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:24, archived)

3 days a week at minimum wage.
That's not going to put a dent in his budget. He must need some spreadsheets or something.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:26, archived)

Can I wear a jumpsuit and be in a large flower pot which has a trampoline concealed in the bottom?
While stabbing up a wax horse.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:25, archived)

I'd be disappointed if you didn't
These TFL guys are fucking nuts. I wouldn't be at all surprised if some of them were quite dangerous.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:27, archived)

There's a fat one with dark skin who seems particularly rapist.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:29, archived)

Or throwing frozen watermelons into one of those tree chippers which is pointed at a timpani drum.
And you play a miniature pipe organ with bubble solution poured in all the pipes.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:28, archived)

LOL!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:22, archived)

What does RIS mean?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:39, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RIS_(disambiguation)
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:40, archived)

i think it's most likely to be reservoir induced seismicity

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:42, archived)

What does "moderator" mean?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:42, archived)

fucked if i know

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:49, archived)

I rest my case.
BALDMONKEY FOR MOD!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:04, archived)

hahahaha ha haha ha
as if
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:14, archived)

The day Baldmonkey becomes a mod
is the day I take the pills
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:18, archived)

the fact that he thinks i'm a rubbish mod means i must be doing something right

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:58, archived)

What does 'giant hippy' mean?

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:45, archived)

What does "downs wookie" mean?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:45, archived)

What does "shit up a rope" mean?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:48, archived)

Lots Of Love?
Are you gay for baldmonkey or summfink?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:40, archived)

YES!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:01, archived)

why are you excluding the lesbians? what's so wrong with lesbians eh? you RACIST

( spesh, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:49, archived)

No such thing. VR said so.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:51, archived)

VR? whodat?

( spesh, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:55, archived)

How dare you sir
The Empress of India
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:56, archived)

FFS.
HRH.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:03, archived)

What-o, chaps

( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:43, archived)

Just fucking die.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:46, archived)

What can I do to make you happy?

( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:55, archived)

his wife often asks the same question

( spesh, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:56, archived)

I was going to turn it into a Corrs song
But that's just been RUINED now, cheers!
( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:03, archived)

morning adam!
going out now, bye adam!
( spesh, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:56, archived)

Hi spe-aww he's gone :(

( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:01, archived)

oh ffs, why are you always so mean!
please stop trolling us :'(
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:04, archived)

A big 'orrible case of haters hatin', right here.

( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:15, archived)

oh man :'(

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:16, archived)

Shit, I forgot to put my Legal Aid hat on
I can't bill for this! FFFFFFFFFFFU-
( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:22, archived)

it started on me last night for no reason, as if i hadn't suffered enough

( mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:17, archived)

I saw that mongy.
I dunno why he was trolling on you, so mean :'(
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:17, archived)