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I heard he touched you inappropriately when you were young

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:55, archived)
He 'got fresh' with me, it's true.
DO YOU GET THIS HE WAS ON A SHOW CALLED GET FRESH IT'S A JOKE DO YOU SEE?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:57, archived)
WITH GILBERT THE ALIEN

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:58, archived)
HE WAS A REALLY GOOD CHARACTER ON GET FRESH

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:58, archived)
I met gilbert once, true story that.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:59, archived)
THE HELL YOU DID
Nah, I have no reason to disbelieve you. Where did you meet him?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:00, archived)
Oh come off it you mug.
He never met him.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:01, archived)
I've been burned before...

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:03, archived)
You are Simon Weston AICM etc.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:12, archived)
*bobs for chips*

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:13, archived)
Hahaha

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:16, archived)
when it was being filmed in bellahouston park.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:02, archived)
Bodger & Badger was being filmed at Chessington (or Thorpe...can't recall) when I was there as a kid
My cousin and I sat nearby and shouted every time they went for a take. The director was quite upset by the whole thing, but Bodger, ever the professional, remained composed. Good times.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:05, archived)
I hope you shouted MASH at them.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:06, archived)
If memory serves, I think it was more "BOLLOCKS"
cunningly disguised as coughing so we wouldn't get in trouble for swearing. "MASH" might have been more appropriate, given the circumstances.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:08, archived)
I'll post you my time machine, so you can rectify this error.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:10, archived)
AT LAST

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:11, archived)
I also got to meet charlotte hindle.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:05, archived)
Was she hot or not? I don't really remember
Google seems to be drawing a bit of a blank
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:08, archived)
I'm not sure, it was a long time ago.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:09, archived)
Yeah, I suppose it was

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:13, archived)
Yeah you wish, Jimmy Hill.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:00, archived)
HE'S A POOF HE'S A POOF
sorry, bit of instinct there.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:03, archived)
I saw Rhod Gilbert on Friday
I have mentioned this before.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:23, archived)
Hey Two Hats!
I once saw Paul Young at Heathrow airport and, no word of a lie, he was carrying a hat and put it on the counter when checking his bags in. I wonder if he then felt duty bound to declare Heathrow as his permanent address?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:00, archived)
Look I know I make up stories but this really happened.
Unfortunately I was on my own and couldn't tell anyone at the time.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:02, archived)
I'm almost certain that he did
It's all a tax dodge Monts. Anything pertaining to permanent residence in the UK that is put into a song is a perfectly legal claim.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:02, archived)
I knew your sharp legal brain would come in handy here.
Do any other readers have a song-related legal declaration they'd like to share?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:06, archived)
I called marti pellow a cunt once.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:08, archived)
He'd obviously taken a break from wishing he was lucky

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:11, archived)
it was his day off from feeling things with his fingers and toes.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:15, archived)
Excellent work
My pal Toby is an electrician in the telly/film business, his best story concerns the filming of TV smash ‘Harbour Lights’: a member of the public vaulted the barriers during filming, and punched Nick Berry into the sea, before legging it.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:14, archived)
same friend that beheaded a tramp with a ninja sword?

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:17, archived)
No, different one.
He's barred from the Isle of Man, though - like Andy Kershaw. True story.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:18, archived)
for stalking andy kershaw's ex-wife?

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:20, archived)
For being a massive prick every time he crosses the three pint barrier I expect.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:23, archived)
some mate you are!

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:25, archived)
I know!!!
I even lolled when his dad committed suicide. But then he was quite annoying at our mutual pal's stag do, so i feel justified.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:27, archived)
oh man :'(
monty boyce? monty ballbag more like!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:30, archived)
Oh come on, he hanged himself in their garage whilst they were eating dinner!
Apparently they thought he'd gone for a shit.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:31, archived)
should have gone to specsavers :(

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:33, archived)
should've gone for a shit

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:43, archived)
YOUN A SHTI!!!!

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:46, archived)
I Will Always Love You, In Perpetuity Througout The Known Universe

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:09, archived)
The Four Tops were detained indefinitely during their last Mexican Tour
They are now residents of a mental home in Acapulco.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:16, archived)
haha

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:05, archived)