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Trust mongy to turn the morning thread into a food thread.
Talk about something else.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:09, archived)
Got a team of strangers packing up my house tomorrow
Here's hoping nothing embarrassing turns up
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:11, archived)
I've already taken the jenkem lab to the in-laws, so that's sorted

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:14, archived)
good thinking

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:16, archived)
are you not worried they'll huff your whole supply before you get it back?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:06, archived)
Nah, they're not back until Monday
Plenty of time to get it back
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:11, archived)
Give the dildos a rinse under the tap and stick them in a backpack.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:27, archived)
top tip, cheers

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:29, archived)
preferably not one your kids might take to school by accident.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:31, archived)
Hey, it'll be their last day at that school
who cares
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:44, archived)

backpack bumbag
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:31, archived)
Thoughts?
www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/people/havant-family-horrified-after-finding-e-cigarette-in-a-box-of-chicken-kievs-1-8368488
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:16, archived)
Chicken Kievs?
What is this, 1987?
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:19, archived)
I like a kiev me
imagine if macca d's put one in a bun, lovingly drizzled with the chef's special sauce
why that would be very heaven
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:30, archived)
It'd piss garlic butter all over your hand as soon as you bit into it, though.
You've got to think of the consequences.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:34, archived)
so it's finger lickin' good?
I don't see that as a downside
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:37, archived)
But would it still be a Chicken Kiev?
Their sauce has transformative properties, y'know.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:34, archived)
Maybe a McKiev?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:36, archived)
Genius.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:41, archived)
mcdonalds do American food, not commie muck

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:16, archived)
Trump loves a bit of commie muck
Especially round the dirtbox regions
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:18, archived)
60quid in vouchers for the inconvenience of receiving a free vaper
and they're still not happy?
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:20, archived)
People are never happy
Particularly when they're (almost certainly) lying about finding an e-cigarette in a box of kievs.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:22, archived)
the statement from tesco was pretty clear that these people are lying

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:25, archived)
well, they can only speculate
but yes, they're probably lying. How much do these things weigh? I've never held an e-cigarette.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:27, archived)
The battery alone has got to be close in weight to a kiev
and those packing machines definitely have scales to make sure no-one gets an extra kiev by accident, the stingy cunts.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:29, archived)
Exactly
and even if, somehow, one of these things ended up in the box, you'd notice when you picked it up at teh supermarket, surely. Pricks.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:36, archived)
wankers

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:25, archived)
found my wedding ring in the footwell of the car after it'd been missing a month
seems I go dogging AND have amnesia
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:17, archived)
I found a £2 coin in the footwell of the car this morning
I didn't even know it was missing
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:20, archived)
I lost a £2 coin this morning

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:21, archived)
Can you describe it?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:22, archived)
Yeah, it's about a clown who kills children, luring them into a trap by turning into things that scare them

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:23, archived)
Oh, you!

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:33, archived)
that was its natural habitat, you monster

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:22, archived)
Don't think much of this new Bourne film.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:22, archived)
I think I'm falling in lurve with my physiotherapist.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:23, archived)

physiothe
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:24, archived)
You put the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:24, archived)
Puts the sensual in "nonconsensual sex".

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 13:02, archived)
All y'all are really affectionate over your meat and buns...
It's my Friday today, so Im just wishing the time away, really.
Keep me entertained.
Think I might have a kebab for lunch...

Oh fuck, that's food again.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:27, archived)
Oh, goody, we can argue over what varieties of sauce are appropriate for kebabs.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:30, archived)
Chilli, bit of garlic, salad no onion boss

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:34, archived)
I've never really seen the appeal of the old elephant's leg.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:45, archived)
you really are a joyless funsponge

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:47, archived)
Maybe, but not because of this, surely?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:50, archived)
if grrry thinks you're a joyless funsponge there really is little hope for you

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:00, archived)
As if he's ever known what joy is.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:05, archived)
it's when you go into Woolworths and haribo starmix is BOGOF

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:07, archived)
Was that the last time you were truly happy?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:11, archived)
it's certainly the one that's stuck with me throughout the years

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:15, archived)
Just a cheese burger really aren't they

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:47, archived)
Undoubtedly.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:50, archived)
Strawberry
or caramel ice magic. NEXT.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:44, archived)
Oh, I didn't realise you were pregnant.
I just thought you were fat.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:47, archived)
*mouths 'fuck you'*

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:47, archived)
"blows kiss*

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:51, archived)
wow, it's impressive that you even managed to fuck that up

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:29, archived)
haha
I didn't spot that
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:31, archived)
that's why he's the mod and you're ... what are you?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:35, archived)
It's nice that you appreciate my work.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:32, archived)
chilli and mint, all the salad and extra peppers please.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:54, archived)
it's been 9 months since I did my fad diet
and thanks to extended illnesses, I'm back to my lowest-ever weight. Can't decide if keto or disease is my preferred weight loss method now.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:30, archived)
My other half has gone vegetarian again for a bit, so I get my meat when I can...
*waggles cigar*
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:55, archived)
I've done my back in
But I have to go out to buy some crickets
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:36, archived)
willy

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:46, archived)
^ had a friend called Billy

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:48, archived)
So Jamie Bulger's mum is still saying that she's never recieved justice for his murder
What do you suppose she really means?
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:47, archived)
Because personally, I think she's mistaking justice for revenge

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:49, archived)
^
You know know what they're like
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:52, archived)
I think it's because they never went to prison, so in her eyes were never actually punished

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:54, archived)
And I think she carries around a great deal of guilt herself, so without what she perceives as justice her guilt increases as she let her son down in life and in death, but hey I'm not shrink

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:11, archived)
I think you're probably right
In her heart, she must know that no amount of jail time (or god forbid, capital punishment) would ever change how she feels, so she holds onto this idea of 'justice' as an excuse to not move on. But likewise, not a shrink.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:16, archived)
No doubt.
And that's why it's important for the courts to remain dispassionate.
Revenge is great in fiction, less so in reality.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:55, archived)
they should've allowed her half an hour alone with those two ten year olds so she could beat them up a bit

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:01, archived)
"Look what you've done! I'm going to call your mothers."
Boom, closure.

Haha, we're making light of a mother's grief over her murdered child!
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:15, archived)
maybe she wanted a big block of frozen water, and only that?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:57, archived)
shut up m8

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:00, archived)
no u

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:08, archived)
are you a red letter media fan?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:02, archived)
dunno what that is soz

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:05, archived)
I think it's the people behind Honest Trailers on YouTube.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:10, archived)
not my area of interest, sorry

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:12, archived)
Bruce Wayne doesn't like lemon in his G&T.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:03, archived)
her son is still dead and that still makes her quite sad

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:00, archived)
nah, that can't be it

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:17, archived)

Jamie cheese l r
justi lettu
murder bun
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:02, archived)
Lols

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:03, archived)
*guilty lol*

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:04, archived)
He'

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:05, archived)
oh my

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:12, archived)
I like the way
a thread started to move away from a food thread has itself become two food threads.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:52, archived)

th b
th b
th b
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:57, archived)
Yeah, but I've upset Grrry instead of mongy, this time,
so it's different.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 11:59, archived)
woah, when did I get upset?
I'm an emotional void
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)

n e ho tional void
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:18, archived)
woah, nice work

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:19, archived)
sometimes you see these opportunities and just know that you have to take them

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:22, archived)
Of all the many reasons to call me a "joyless funsponge",
I'm not sure why you've picked my dislike of donner kebabs.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:19, archived)
it seemed like a good idea at the time

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 12:26, archived)