You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Message 8149795

Hello wanker's
It's'a me, Beefio! Haha, like in that computer game, you know!

I'm going down Gandalf's later for ribs, or as I call it, 'a cheeseburger'. What's going on down your way?
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 14:53, archived)
Do YOU think it would be funny if a lady had a wooden tit?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 14:54, archived)
The song says it'd be LAVERLY.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 14:58, archived)
Fuck the song

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:14, archived)
Well, really!

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:18, archived)
no

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:01, archived)
not a whole lot m8 tbh

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:10, archived)
how many regular tits has she got?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:10, archived)
She has one of each

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:14, archived)
which is which?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:14, archived)
Her right is wooden

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:17, archived)
can she twist it and use it as a pepper grinder?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:56, archived)
She could
but she won't
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:00, archived)
stuck up bitch

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:18, archived)
I respect you and bitches
don't use bitch as an insult
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:34, archived)
lol

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:46, archived)
Think she'd take that as a condiment.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 17:01, archived)
Wasn't that a Nik Kershaw song?
Wooden tit be good.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:31, archived)
Nah, you're thinking of Wooden Tit Be Nice by the Beach Boys

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:42, archived)
good grief

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:47, archived)
I know a man with a wooden leg with the name of smith

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:32, archived)
me too, must be the same guy!

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:41, archived)
whoah
well it's a small, small world
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:46, archived)
knock knockers

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:46, archived)
Does Gandalf's serve The One Onion Ring?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 14:54, archived)
Behold, the onion ring! Forged in the fryers of Mount Doom.
If this place mcbeef's going isn't really a Tolkien themed restaurant, I'm going to be sorely disappointed.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:00, archived)
it's a pub that happens to be owned by Ian McKellen

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:04, archived)
So, tonight, you will be ribbed for his pleasure.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:04, archived)
Right, that's it, I'm not going now

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:05, archived)
I'd love to be there for a staff meeting
as in - that's a nice staff you've got there Srian
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:06, archived)
Based on the last time I saw him on Graham Norton,
he'd be exactly like that.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:07, archived)
lol

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:09, archived)
That's rather marvellous.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:08, archived)
it's a lovely little pub actually

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:12, archived)
+e
lol, lovely little pube
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:15, archived)
metronomes

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 14:54, archived)

??
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:13, archived)
wonder where he works

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:20, archived)
there's more to mining than just the digging, there'll be all sorts of back office staff

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:33, archived)
He looks like he's carrying the FT

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:51, archived)
they're mining for jewels, the price on those things fluctuate all the time
check out his worried expression
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:24, archived)
Look at his nose
He looks...like he gets thirsty quite a lot.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:28, archived)
he's a chief executive at sainsbury's gnomebase

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:20, archived)
you monster

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:21, archived)
he used to work in construction
helped to build the millennium gnome
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:47, archived)
Had to get another job after British gnome stores went bust

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:39, archived)
So we're doing this? We're doing gnome puns?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:40, archived)
I only start so I have a point of deletion

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:44, archived)
it's enough to drive you up the garden path

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 17:06, archived)

www.warwickartscentre.co.uk/whats-on/2018/london-sinfonietta-turning-points-1960/
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:28, archived)
Gonna have another pint and go home, a utopian paradise that became a slum in less than 20 years, skip to 1.55 to see the splendor
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/15924993.thamesmead-50th-anniversary-video-shows-new-town-in-1969/
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 14:55, archived)
hahaha oh my

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:05, archived)
Currently being knocked down too

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:08, archived)
It's famous for being a hellhole eh

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:11, archived)
Oh yeah, even had its own gangs, only down the road from me , a review of the pub , I wouldn't go in there even now tbh
www.newsshopper.co.uk/freetime_old/pubspy/pubspy/10579903.PubSpy_reviews_The_Barge_Pole__Thamesmead/
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:15, archived)
Look at this delightful little hostelry, 2mins round the corner from me
c1.staticflickr.com/6/5295/5481206619_8e6203ecb0_b.jpg

not sure if I dare go in
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:29, archived)
I've been in there for a pint when the tunnel was shut , just by the railway bridge?

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:32, archived)
yep, it's one block over from my house

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:35, archived)
Is the railway tavern near? I think they did that up a few years ago, been a while since I've been a white van man now

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:47, archived)
Just over the road, but it's called 'The Craft Beer Company' now and as such is shit and full of pricks
Shame, I used to skulk in there whilst my kid was at drama club.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:54, archived)
That's a shame

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:58, archived)
If you ever fancy a walk through the rotherhide tunnel, a feet of engineering in its self, the mayflower is the oldest pub on thames allegedly, and you can see some of Edward 3 manors ruins , ain't much there, then maybe a pint in the angel

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:03, archived)

www.mayflowerpub.co.uk
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:06, archived)
excellent, I shall definitely do this

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:07, archived)
I've always heard that the tunnel is all bendy and not straight so that horses could not see the light at the end and bolt for it, makes sense before cars and electric lights, might be bollox tho

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:59, archived)
Patrick Stewart owns that one, no doubt.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:32, archived)
Brian Blessed is the chef there, you couldn't make it up

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:46, archived)
DIVE, MY HAWKMEN,
into this all you can eat breakfast buffet!

You probably are making this one up, though.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:43, archived)
You're too sharp for me, m8

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:51, archived)
*cancels booking*

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:53, archived)
Shame. I wanted it to be true.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 17:38, archived)
Reminiscent of Basildon town centre circa 1991.
What a violent, windblasted shithole that was.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:08, archived)
Your nan's shithole has been violently windbashed.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:14, archived)
YOU SHALL NOT PASS
up this opportunity to peruse our dessert menu.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 14:56, archived)
something Jesus related

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:01, archived)

Jesus hashtag cockmonster
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:04, archived)
MARY!

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:05, archived)
Deuteronomy 13:1
If a prophet or someone who has dreams arises among you and proclaims a sign or wonder to you, 2 and that sign or wonder he has promised you comes about, but he says, ‘Let us follow other gods,’ which you have not known, ‘and let us worship them,’ 3 do not listen to that prophet’s words or to that dreamer. For the Lord your God is testing you to know whether you love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul. 4 You must follow the Lord your God and fear Him. You must keep His commands and listen to His voice; you must worship Him and remain faithful to Him. 5 That prophet or dreamer must be put to death, because he has urged rebellion against the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt and redeemed you from the place of slavery, to turn you from the way the Lord your God has commanded you to walk. You must purge the evil from you.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:05, archived)
God has commanded you to wank. You must purge the evil from you.

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:21, archived)
I have a bell
and I'm going to ring it out of danger, out of waning, out of love between my brothers and my sisters.

No, hang on, it's a fire alarm test. Don't worry.
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:03, archived)
+-end
.....................................+k .....................
(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:10, archived)
We got there...

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:26, archived)
I'm not familiar with that game, though it did just make me think of the film 'Hook'

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:49, archived)
Ffs I just lost the game , first time in about 5 years, thanks

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 15:51, archived)
I've never understood this meme

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:10, archived)
there's quite a lot you don't understand though

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:27, archived)
Here she is...

(, Wed 7 Feb 2018, 16:30, archived)