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RISE AND SHINE, LADIES!
Hands off cocks and on with socks, you little maggots.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:01, archived)
*eats his own gun*

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:04, archived)
alright 'prince'

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:06, archived)
I've changed my name to an emoji.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:30, archived)

💩
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:39, archived)
clicked this

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:42, archived)
Comfortingly inevitable.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:58, archived)
it's one of the few that'll work on desktop and mobile browsers, y'see
that's why i used it

also, you're shit
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:01, archived)
I thought emojis conformed to a standard, these days?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:05, archived)
nah, some just appear as boxes or whatever when i'm on a desktop

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:27, archived)
Chortle.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:42, archived)
what is your major malfunction, numbnuts?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:42, archived)
merry morrow

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:10, archived)
I bet you could suck a golf ball through a hose pipe

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:42, archived)
I don't think I've got the sucking abilities for that

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:26, archived)
that's not what I heard m8

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:29, archived)
Come to the yard, I give lessons
but there's a fee.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:03, archived)
I love my willy

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:30, archived)
I didn't know they stacked shit that high

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:42, archived)
Ethel from Eastenders.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:43, archived)
turtle power

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:10, archived)
It's everywhere!

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:22, archived)
It's a monday

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:42, archived)
well give this man a fucking medal, what an observation

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:42, archived)
Don't start.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:47, archived)
Morning

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:49, archived)
lol, private

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:50, archived)
mcsteer

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:54, archived)
Holla

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:53, archived)
You don't scare me. Let me see your war face

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 7:54, archived)
SIR, YES SIR

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:13, archived)
well thank you, can I be in charge for a while now?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:17, archived)
If God wanted you to be at the top of the popular page he would have miracled your ass up there.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 10:48, archived)
Where you from boaaaaaay? Texas? TEXAS?!?! Only things from Texas is steers'n'queers
which are you then huh!
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:41, archived)
you ruined it :(

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:41, archived)
I know LOL!

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:01, archived)
You sure don't look like a steer to me

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:49, archived)
*gestures at horny bits*
what about this?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:01, archived)
Hello, yes
Ah, what's the expression? Oh yeah...ugh
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:46, archived)
You move like old people fuck

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:50, archived)
that IS true

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:57, archived)
I hear ya bro

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:51, archived)
I started at about 2 yesterday
So it was a slow burner. I literally didn't realise quite how much I'd drunk until this morning
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:56, archived)
I'm very much not proud of this, by the way

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:56, archived)

Two Hat's shoe, yesterday
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 8:58, archived)
get back on it you lightweight

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:01, archived)
I just need half an hour to get my head straight, alright?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:13, archived)
I'll put on socks but you'll have to pry my cock from my cold dead hands

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:00, archived)
this is my cumsock, this is my gun
this is for wanking, this is for fun
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:12, archived)
ok, just seen the news and now i understand why you're doing this

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:01, archived)
I haven't
can yo do a precis please?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:02, archived)
the shouty chap from full metal jacket has croaked

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:09, archived)
The one who got killed by the fat insect man from Men In Black?
Aww, he was nice.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:13, archived)

His finest role.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:22, archived)
I'm upset that this wasn't the top story on the Today Programme.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:04, archived)
it's purely coincidence

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:13, archived)
no it isn't you fibber

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:28, archived)
You killed him!
Nice one, Private Pyle.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:34, archived)
I thought it was a reference to A Kestrel for a Knave

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:31, archived)
you would

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:36, archived)
Billy Casper was a prick.

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:37, archived)

Billy
prick friendly ghost
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:39, archived)
Casper died of pneumonia, just like R Lee Ermey.
Conspiracy?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:58, archived)
yes

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 10:13, archived)
i thought YOUR FACE was etc

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 9:58, archived)
Your anatomy lessons aren't paying off, are they?

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 10:09, archived)
Well it looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 10:15, archived)
You seem tense
Go and have a wank
(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 10:23, archived)
choke yourself

(, Mon 16 Apr 2018, 10:29, archived)