Profile for Black Moon:
Hello. Well I am honoured that you feel the need to look in my profile. I don't have any pictures of me in here any more because I have a funny shaped head.
I live in Leicester, which is about as far away from anything else in England as you can possibly get.
You can tell a lot about a person by what they have on their iPod. Perhaps you would like to see what's on mine? Have a look here then.
You can add me to your MSN buddy list with blackmoon37@hotmail.com (Don't send email here, it all goes in the byte recycler.)
I am a creative person, always have to be making something, or making something that makes something. I dabble in ambient music. Here's a couple of free downloads.
Analogue Daydreams One of my better ones.
Jarre-esque It's supposed to sound like the great Jean-Michel Jarre.
Stuck Inside Monday Just done this one 18-06-07.
On October 14th I went to the Derby bash organised by the lovely Jessie. I have made a page containing the photos I taken on the night. If you want to see it, click here.
Click here to visit My website.
Click here to visit My YouTube page.
So far, my work has appeared six times in the b3ta newsletter. Here they are:
DOGS CAN FUCK OFF
Dogs are shit, it's a well know fact. Even the RSPCA think they are whiney, stuck up cunts that deserve to be killed. Here is the proof, in dogumentary form. Eat that, Lassie and Shnorbitz.
http://www.markta.co.uk/flash/dogs.swf
EXPRESSIONLESS GIRL
"Last week we linked to a series of photos of a young lady whose expression never changed. Many of you were disappointed as the site went down shortly afterwards. Thanks to B3ta reader markta who grabbed the pics and stuck them into a video loop which really makes the point
about how bloody odd these images really are"
http://snipurl.com/expressionlessgirl
If you want to see the original thread when I posted the gif on the message board, you can click here.
CRAP DJ SKILLZ
"Bad is the new good, that's what we're hearing. Black Moon has been trawling the DJ booths of the nation and was lucky enough to catch footage this fellow - the toast of UK clubland.
http://www.markta.co.uk/wankr/vid/dj_wankr.mpg
I posted this on the board too. It got an odd reception from most people.
Here it is on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikMC2UVpj3A
TEH TOMORROW PEOPLE AND PROFESSOR PORNO
**At last, it makes it to the newsletter! One year and three months after I sent Rob a link.**
"The Tomorrow People was a classic 70s TV show about telepathic teenagers, but Blackmoon got hold of some episodes recently and "All my childhood memories were shattered in an instant. It's not the brilliantly ground-breaking, stunning and enthralling program I used to enjoy, It's embarrassingly awful." So as a tribute he redubbed it with a new plot about hardcore porn. Nice. This is a 30MB download, but well worth it."
http://www.markta.co.uk/ttp
This is on YouTube too (Cut down by about 4 minutes)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTsrumKCemg
BAD PIANO PLAYER
Props to Black Moon for this short and amusing gag. Dunno what else to write so here's three facts about pianos pulled from our arse: 1. Cats love walking on them, especially when they're hungry, 2. ALL blind people are brilliant at tuning them, and 3. Oh gawd, there is no three. How about a joke pulled from Sickipedia instead? A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks 'Why the long face?' To which the horse replies, 'I have AIDS'. Yes, it's THAT type of newsletter this week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98V8w0w4WtY
Yes, That's the link Rob and the gang at b3ta HQ put in the newsletter, but is should have been this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo5YmK4zlN0
DOCTOR WHO NASTIES
Thanks to Black Moon who's glued together some clips of Doctor Who, with David Tennant starring in another drama to create something that would make Russell T Davies spluff.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Doctor_Rude
Ok, for those of you that like my humour, my new video/edit/dub project is available for viewing on YouTube. It isn't actually finished, I got fed up with it. I spent about four months on the project, on and off. If the response from the three (possibly four) parts is positive enough, I may have a go at doing an ending. The response the first two parts have had have already rekindled my interest in doing some more. So who knows?
Blackmoon's YouTube page
The YT videos embedded on my own site
Below is a list of "b3ta boarders" who I like / Admire / Fancy / Would like to have bumsex with / want to hug
These are not in any particular order, I love them all dearly.
Jessie : 5000. Need I say more? Yes, I will, Her English is impeccable too.
Prodigy : Awesome shopping skills, some great animal "modifications".
Comma : For her colourful additions to the English language.
Strawberry Dragon : Lovely artwork, Wish I could draw like that.
Sunshine Elephant : Lovely artwork again, I still wish I could draw like that.
Rev. Jesse Custer : The sheer "GAH!" value of the zombies. Lovely shopping skills.
Mystery Bob : Some of the best, and funniest animations ever. Also, he's very helpful with website stuff.
Felix : Very helpful on the night of the crane fly. Nice animations too.
The Neville : Two words; Diverse originality. The Ikea instructions were great.
Syncubus : A good lad, always fluffy. Oh, he has nice feet too (aparrently). Arse rent cricket.
Zoot : I won't say anything bad about him, he's got 42 guns.
M3 Essential : Great shopping and animations.
Eclectech : Wonderful Shopping, Animamtions, Flash, ohh, everything!
Reckless Rik : Great shoppping with some bizarre ideas.
Chicago Dave : His b3ta screensaver got me here in the first place. Do I thank him or blame him?
Leningrad : The "rhyming animations" were very original.
Stick Figure Ninja : He's nuts! But in a good way.
Derek Acorah's Spirit Guide Sam : This lady's work oozes cuteness from every direction.
mutated monty : Teh master of animation, say no more.
workboresme : Norks.
Flowerpot : Because she's lovely.
I will be adding to this list as I think of people.*
*Probably. If I can be arsed.
Back in the mid seventies, I was a young schoolboy who never missed The Tomorrow People. It was a ground-breaking kid's TV show, and every fan wished they had the special powers these super teenagers had. Well I did anyway.
The episodes were released on DVD recently, and upon seeing one, I realised how bad they really were. I instantly knew there was dubbing potential, so I re-edited the "Secret weapon" episode and made it into Professor Porno. If you would like to see it, Click here to go to the download page.
What people have said about it:
"YOU sir are a fucking comic genius!" - Jessie
"Your video rocked" - Mr A
"It's cocking hilarious" - Shiksa
"It's got me lauging my head off" - Tyronne
"I woke up my flatmates, I was laughing that hard" - Arsenic
"It's shitting genius" - Deodar ant
"Officially my favouritest thing EVER" - NobbyNobody
"I laughed my arse off" - Reckless Rik
"made me piss myself with helpless laughter" - putting the tosser in dwarf tosser
"fucking priceless" - chimp-donk
"Loved it" - benryves
"'Tis superb stuff!" - alcuin
"Fucking brilliant, I've not laughed so much for years" - Mushroom
"it's brilliant so woo yay to you" - Swaza
"Gets a fucking big Woo, Yay and Dibnah!" - Druid
"I have been holding my cock for ten minutes for fear of laughing it teh fuck off" - Zoot
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 6 years, 4 months and 26 days
- has posted 12424 messages on the main board
- (of which 18 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 989 messages on the talk board
- has posted 758 messages on the links board
- (including 62 links)
- has posted 21 stories and 9 replies on question of the week
- They liked 36 pictures, 19 links, 7 talk posts, and 16 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
Hello. Well I am honoured that you feel the need to look in my profile. I don't have any pictures of me in here any more because I have a funny shaped head.
I live in Leicester, which is about as far away from anything else in England as you can possibly get.
You can tell a lot about a person by what they have on their iPod. Perhaps you would like to see what's on mine? Have a look here then.
You can add me to your MSN buddy list with blackmoon37@hotmail.com (Don't send email here, it all goes in the byte recycler.)
I am a creative person, always have to be making something, or making something that makes something. I dabble in ambient music. Here's a couple of free downloads.
Analogue Daydreams One of my better ones.
Jarre-esque It's supposed to sound like the great Jean-Michel Jarre.
Stuck Inside Monday Just done this one 18-06-07.
On October 14th I went to the Derby bash organised by the lovely Jessie. I have made a page containing the photos I taken on the night. If you want to see it, click here.
Click here to visit My website.
Click here to visit My YouTube page.
So far, my work has appeared six times in the b3ta newsletter. Here they are:
DOGS CAN FUCK OFF
Dogs are shit, it's a well know fact. Even the RSPCA think they are whiney, stuck up cunts that deserve to be killed. Here is the proof, in dogumentary form. Eat that, Lassie and Shnorbitz.
http://www.markta.co.uk/flash/dogs.swf
EXPRESSIONLESS GIRL
"Last week we linked to a series of photos of a young lady whose expression never changed. Many of you were disappointed as the site went down shortly afterwards. Thanks to B3ta reader markta who grabbed the pics and stuck them into a video loop which really makes the point
about how bloody odd these images really are"
http://snipurl.com/expressionlessgirl
If you want to see the original thread when I posted the gif on the message board, you can click here.
CRAP DJ SKILLZ
"Bad is the new good, that's what we're hearing. Black Moon has been trawling the DJ booths of the nation and was lucky enough to catch footage this fellow - the toast of UK clubland.
http://www.markta.co.uk/wankr/vid/dj_wankr.mpg
I posted this on the board too. It got an odd reception from most people.
Here it is on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikMC2UVpj3A
TEH TOMORROW PEOPLE AND PROFESSOR PORNO
**At last, it makes it to the newsletter! One year and three months after I sent Rob a link.**
"The Tomorrow People was a classic 70s TV show about telepathic teenagers, but Blackmoon got hold of some episodes recently and "All my childhood memories were shattered in an instant. It's not the brilliantly ground-breaking, stunning and enthralling program I used to enjoy, It's embarrassingly awful." So as a tribute he redubbed it with a new plot about hardcore porn. Nice. This is a 30MB download, but well worth it."
http://www.markta.co.uk/ttp
This is on YouTube too (Cut down by about 4 minutes)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTsrumKCemg
BAD PIANO PLAYER
Props to Black Moon for this short and amusing gag. Dunno what else to write so here's three facts about pianos pulled from our arse: 1. Cats love walking on them, especially when they're hungry, 2. ALL blind people are brilliant at tuning them, and 3. Oh gawd, there is no three. How about a joke pulled from Sickipedia instead? A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks 'Why the long face?' To which the horse replies, 'I have AIDS'. Yes, it's THAT type of newsletter this week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98V8w0w4WtY
Yes, That's the link Rob and the gang at b3ta HQ put in the newsletter, but is should have been this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo5YmK4zlN0
DOCTOR WHO NASTIES
Thanks to Black Moon who's glued together some clips of Doctor Who, with David Tennant starring in another drama to create something that would make Russell T Davies spluff.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Doctor_Rude
Ok, for those of you that like my humour, my new video/edit/dub project is available for viewing on YouTube. It isn't actually finished, I got fed up with it. I spent about four months on the project, on and off. If the response from the three (possibly four) parts is positive enough, I may have a go at doing an ending. The response the first two parts have had have already rekindled my interest in doing some more. So who knows?
Blackmoon's YouTube page
The YT videos embedded on my own site
Below is a list of "b3ta boarders" who I like / Admire / Fancy / Would like to have bumsex with / want to hug
These are not in any particular order, I love them all dearly.
Jessie : 5000. Need I say more? Yes, I will, Her English is impeccable too. Prodigy : Awesome shopping skills, some great animal "modifications". Comma : For her colourful additions to the English language. Strawberry Dragon : Lovely artwork, Wish I could draw like that. Sunshine Elephant : Lovely artwork again, I still wish I could draw like that. Rev. Jesse Custer : The sheer "GAH!" value of the zombies. Lovely shopping skills. Mystery Bob : Some of the best, and funniest animations ever. Also, he's very helpful with website stuff. Felix : Very helpful on the night of the crane fly. Nice animations too. The Neville : Two words; Diverse originality. The Ikea instructions were great. Syncubus : A good lad, always fluffy. Oh, he has nice feet too (aparrently). Arse rent cricket. Zoot : I won't say anything bad about him, he's got 42 guns. M3 Essential : Great shopping and animations. Eclectech : Wonderful Shopping, Animamtions, Flash, ohh, everything! Reckless Rik : Great shoppping with some bizarre ideas. Chicago Dave : His b3ta screensaver got me here in the first place. Do I thank him or blame him? Leningrad : The "rhyming animations" were very original. Stick Figure Ninja : He's nuts! But in a good way. Derek Acorah's Spirit Guide Sam : This lady's work oozes cuteness from every direction. mutated monty : Teh master of animation, say no more. workboresme : Norks. Flowerpot : Because she's lovely.I will be adding to this list as I think of people.*
*Probably. If I can be arsed.
Back in the mid seventies, I was a young schoolboy who never missed The Tomorrow People. It was a ground-breaking kid's TV show, and every fan wished they had the special powers these super teenagers had. Well I did anyway.
The episodes were released on DVD recently, and upon seeing one, I realised how bad they really were. I instantly knew there was dubbing potential, so I re-edited the "Secret weapon" episode and made it into Professor Porno. If you would like to see it, Click here to go to the download page.
What people have said about it:
"YOU sir are a fucking comic genius!" - Jessie "Your video rocked" - Mr A "It's cocking hilarious" - Shiksa "It's got me lauging my head off" - Tyronne "I woke up my flatmates, I was laughing that hard" - Arsenic "It's shitting genius" - Deodar ant "Officially my favouritest thing EVER" - NobbyNobody "I laughed my arse off" - Reckless Rik "made me piss myself with helpless laughter" - putting the tosser in dwarf tosser "fucking priceless" - chimp-donk "Loved it" - benryves "'Tis superb stuff!" - alcuin "Fucking brilliant, I've not laughed so much for years" - Mushroom "it's brilliant so woo yay to you" - Swaza "Gets a fucking big Woo, Yay and Dibnah!" - Druid "I have been holding my cock for ten minutes for fear of laughing it teh fuck off" - Zoot Recent front page messages:
Neil thought some of the tests were a bit silly..... but fun.
Biggy Clicky Thingy
Woo, 14th FP. Blackmoon=Happy Chappy
(Tue 26th Aug 2003, 14:02, More)
Biggy Clicky Thingy
Woo, 14th FP. Blackmoon=Happy Chappy
(Tue 26th Aug 2003, 14:02, More)
Excuse me?
The professor suspects you are ridiculing him.
A bit more than twice the size
(Sat 16th Aug 2003, 1:58, More)
The professor suspects you are ridiculing him.
A bit more than twice the size
(Sat 16th Aug 2003, 1:58, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Embarrassing Injuries
I think this was in my local paper...
apologies if it was a national and you have already heard it.
A guy was working, operating a CNC guillotine without the guard, He cut his thumb quite badly, and after the company doctor cleaned him up he had to show the boss exactly how he managed to cause himself the injury. He stuck his hand in it again, said "All I did was this", Pressed a button and lost two fingers.
What a twat.
(Fri 3rd Sep 2004, 1:24, More)
I think this was in my local paper...
apologies if it was a national and you have already heard it.
A guy was working, operating a CNC guillotine without the guard, He cut his thumb quite badly, and after the company doctor cleaned him up he had to show the boss exactly how he managed to cause himself the injury. He stuck his hand in it again, said "All I did was this", Pressed a button and lost two fingers.
What a twat.
(Fri 3rd Sep 2004, 1:24, More)
» Little things that turn you on
Seeing a girl
shove something up her cunt.
(Sat 19th Feb 2005, 0:13, More)
Seeing a girl
shove something up her cunt.
(Sat 19th Feb 2005, 0:13, More)
» Evidence that you're getting old
I was in Mallorca last week,
I was having a drink and attempting to dance with young attractive ladies. Suddenly one of the girls grabbed my shoulders and turned me round to dance with her mother.
(Sat 30th Oct 2004, 4:32, More)
I was in Mallorca last week,
I was having a drink and attempting to dance with young attractive ladies. Suddenly one of the girls grabbed my shoulders and turned me round to dance with her mother.
(Sat 30th Oct 2004, 4:32, More)
» Pointless Experiments
You know when you get a lighter.....
...and fill your hand up with gas then ignite it? Well, I tried it with my ear once.
(Sat 26th Jul 2008, 2:24, More)
You know when you get a lighter.....
...and fill your hand up with gas then ignite it? Well, I tried it with my ear once.
(Sat 26th Jul 2008, 2:24, More)
» Unexpected Good Fortune
Three lags
I have a Renault Laguna, I really love the car, it's never let me down in three years and it's a pleasure to drive. It is however now looking a little 'rough round the edges' and getting a bit squeaky. I was out on the front a week or two ago and this guy came up to me and said "Oh, I'm scrapping that laguna over there (points to his drive) and if you want any spares for yours, let me know." I went and had a look at it, and it's an almost immaculate RT sport version with a spoiler and an electric sun roof! To break it for spares would be a crime, so I bought the whole thing (knackered engine and all) for £100. I have a decent engine to put in it don't I? Myself and a friend can sort that out, and he doesn't want anything for doing it. After a few days, I realised that I wouldn't have any transport once I butcher my car, and I'm not exactly well off so the new car had been sitting on the drive for a while. Cue a guy coming to my door and asking if I want to join a karate club. I tells him no thanks, my back is a bit dodgy, then he asks about my Laguna. He says he's got one the same if I want to buy it for parts, £75. So now I have three lagunas, one tired, one with a busted engine and petrol tank, and one with a dodgy clutch and broken starter motor*. We plan on making two cars out of the three, I get to keep the best one, sell the middle one and scrap the bits that are left. I still can't beleive my luck really.
*Not actually 'got it' yet, picking it up tomorrow (16/9/06)
(Sat 16th Sep 2006, 3:19, More)
Three lags
I have a Renault Laguna, I really love the car, it's never let me down in three years and it's a pleasure to drive. It is however now looking a little 'rough round the edges' and getting a bit squeaky. I was out on the front a week or two ago and this guy came up to me and said "Oh, I'm scrapping that laguna over there (points to his drive) and if you want any spares for yours, let me know." I went and had a look at it, and it's an almost immaculate RT sport version with a spoiler and an electric sun roof! To break it for spares would be a crime, so I bought the whole thing (knackered engine and all) for £100. I have a decent engine to put in it don't I? Myself and a friend can sort that out, and he doesn't want anything for doing it. After a few days, I realised that I wouldn't have any transport once I butcher my car, and I'm not exactly well off so the new car had been sitting on the drive for a while. Cue a guy coming to my door and asking if I want to join a karate club. I tells him no thanks, my back is a bit dodgy, then he asks about my Laguna. He says he's got one the same if I want to buy it for parts, £75. So now I have three lagunas, one tired, one with a busted engine and petrol tank, and one with a dodgy clutch and broken starter motor*. We plan on making two cars out of the three, I get to keep the best one, sell the middle one and scrap the bits that are left. I still can't beleive my luck really.
*Not actually 'got it' yet, picking it up tomorrow (16/9/06)
(Sat 16th Sep 2006, 3:19, More)