Profile for Johnny Catfish:
Johnny Pixelfish
Courtesy of the wonderful (and supremely talented) FoldsFive :)
Hi, I'm Ben. You might remember me from such posts as... erm... sorry, I forget...
See baldmonkey Get Shot By A Soldier Pics - we had a scrumptious time in Portsmouth (which is something you don't often hear) and now - BY THE POWER OF THE INTERNET - you can share in the joy.
You can reach me at johnnycatfishb3ta and the at squiggle yahoo with the dotty com. Please bear in mind that it's not second nature for me to check my internet email accounts, so I may not see or respond to emails for a while (or ever, for that matter).
Here's a pic of the two ladies in my life - Mrs Catfish and Catfish Jnr.
Mrs Catfish gave birth to the Kittenfish at 11:20am on 06/12/05.
and here's a picture of me with the assembled clan.
I was rooting around the archives the other day and found a piccie of me from ten years ago with my trusty old Morris Ital, Betsy. HAIR!
The beautiful baldmonkey (who is also a caring lover) made this Top Trump for me. It's quite accurate:
The lovely pechogonas wroted this poem for me:
Mr Catfish is the bravest
He makes women swoon
Even though when he was younger
He looked like Paddy McAloon
He has lots of kittens
Who look like their mum
And he doesn't do nastiness
Or taking it up the bum
Huzzah! :)
Lord Gnome also badged me up with this kick-ass tag:
PAWSPAWSPAWSPAWS dun rote me a poem which fair brought a tear to my fishy eye:
oh catfish oh catfish
you swim through the sea,
making hundreds of babies
with your eggy fish wee.
Beautiful :)
I'm named after a particularly ugly fucker I used to work with at Wokingham Royal Mail Delivery Office.
Something I knocked together just so I could work in the vicinity of Sophie Rrrrrrrraworth:
and a searing comment on the current ideology of New Labour using juxtaposition. New Labour, eh? What a bunch o cunts:
Edit: I can't believe that shower of twats got back in.
*starts preening for Compulsory Fucking ID Card Photo*
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 6 years, 3 months and 22 days
- has posted 270 messages on the main board
- has posted 42472 messages on the talk board
- has posted 1 messages on the links board
- has posted 16 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 14 pictures, 0 links, 113 talk posts, and 48 qotw answers.
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Johnny Pixelfish
Courtesy of the wonderful (and supremely talented) FoldsFive :)
Hi, I'm Ben. You might remember me from such posts as... erm... sorry, I forget...
See baldmonkey Get Shot By A Soldier Pics - we had a scrumptious time in Portsmouth (which is something you don't often hear) and now - BY THE POWER OF THE INTERNET - you can share in the joy.
You can reach me at johnnycatfishb3ta and the at squiggle yahoo with the dotty com. Please bear in mind that it's not second nature for me to check my internet email accounts, so I may not see or respond to emails for a while (or ever, for that matter).
Here's a pic of the two ladies in my life - Mrs Catfish and Catfish Jnr.
Mrs Catfish gave birth to the Kittenfish at 11:20am on 06/12/05.
and here's a picture of me with the assembled clan.
I was rooting around the archives the other day and found a piccie of me from ten years ago with my trusty old Morris Ital, Betsy. HAIR!
The beautiful baldmonkey (who is also a caring lover) made this Top Trump for me. It's quite accurate:
The lovely pechogonas wroted this poem for me:
Mr Catfish is the bravest
He makes women swoon
Even though when he was younger
He looked like Paddy McAloon
He has lots of kittens
Who look like their mum
And he doesn't do nastiness
Or taking it up the bum
Huzzah! :)
Lord Gnome also badged me up with this kick-ass tag:
PAWSPAWSPAWSPAWS dun rote me a poem which fair brought a tear to my fishy eye:
oh catfish oh catfish
you swim through the sea,
making hundreds of babies
with your eggy fish wee.
Beautiful :)
I'm named after a particularly ugly fucker I used to work with at Wokingham Royal Mail Delivery Office.
Something I knocked together just so I could work in the vicinity of Sophie Rrrrrrrraworth:
and a searing comment on the current ideology of New Labour using juxtaposition. New Labour, eh? What a bunch o cunts:
Edit: I can't believe that shower of twats got back in.
*starts preening for Compulsory Fucking ID Card Photo*
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Job Interviews
"Pron Baron Wanted"
A few years ago I went for a job advertised thus: "Graphic Designer wanted for Adult Publications Company".
"Woo! Getting paid (a not inconsiderable amount) to look at dirty ladies all day!". I thought.
Got to the building and there were about twenty ropey old slappers hanging around the office (the company also ran "escorts") and met the boss, who proceeded to snort copious amounts of coke through the interview.
Every so often a tarty woman would come into the office and say things like "Guess what, John... Chantel's had her muff dyed green!" or "Just had a call from Bridie's boyfriend, she hasn't come home from the job we sent her on last night...".
He showed me the sorts of things I'd be working on (Over 40 Floozies, Hairy Midgets, Gynaecological Times, etc, can't remember the exact titles). It takes a lot to make me ill, but looking at some of the pictures I'd have to re-touch I felt myself retching...
He offered me the job, but I turned it down. I didn't really think a portfolio full of hamburger shots would go down too well with future employers...
(Thu 20th Jan 2005, 10:48, More)
"Pron Baron Wanted"
A few years ago I went for a job advertised thus: "Graphic Designer wanted for Adult Publications Company".
"Woo! Getting paid (a not inconsiderable amount) to look at dirty ladies all day!". I thought.
Got to the building and there were about twenty ropey old slappers hanging around the office (the company also ran "escorts") and met the boss, who proceeded to snort copious amounts of coke through the interview.
Every so often a tarty woman would come into the office and say things like "Guess what, John... Chantel's had her muff dyed green!" or "Just had a call from Bridie's boyfriend, she hasn't come home from the job we sent her on last night...".
He showed me the sorts of things I'd be working on (Over 40 Floozies, Hairy Midgets, Gynaecological Times, etc, can't remember the exact titles). It takes a lot to make me ill, but looking at some of the pictures I'd have to re-touch I felt myself retching...
He offered me the job, but I turned it down. I didn't really think a portfolio full of hamburger shots would go down too well with future employers...
(Thu 20th Jan 2005, 10:48, More)
» Scary Neighbours
I live next door to a real cunt
This fat fucker keeps on walking around his garden with no clothes on and singing at the top of his voice! As soon as I look out of the window I'd find him staring at me.
When I first saw him staring back I tried to hide, but now I just stare back until he fucks off.
I tell all the kids at work (I'm a teacher) about this chap and what he's been up to recently and they think it's hilarious!
(Thu 25th Aug 2005, 19:47, More)
I live next door to a real cunt
This fat fucker keeps on walking around his garden with no clothes on and singing at the top of his voice! As soon as I look out of the window I'd find him staring at me.
When I first saw him staring back I tried to hide, but now I just stare back until he fucks off.
I tell all the kids at work (I'm a teacher) about this chap and what he's been up to recently and they think it's hilarious!
(Thu 25th Aug 2005, 19:47, More)
» Guilty Pleasures
Moulding my 10 month old daughter's musical tastes
When it's just me and Catfish Jnr in the car I enjoy lecturing her about the good and bad points in what's on the radio/CD/iPod...
*Bedingfield comes on radio*
"...now, Catfish. Observe the trite lyrics and lack of originality contained within this song. This is music for people with no imagination or soul..."
*The Black Keys fires up*
"...on the other hand, although this music could be described as lo-fi, maybe to the point to amateurish, it still contains more ideas and - please excuse my french - rocks like a nasty bastard... no, Catfish. It's not good to say "bastard"..."
She's a big fan of Pavement and the funkier side of the Primal Scream. She's also starting to appreciate QOTSA at the moment.
(Fri 8th Apr 2005, 10:44, More)
Moulding my 10 month old daughter's musical tastes
When it's just me and Catfish Jnr in the car I enjoy lecturing her about the good and bad points in what's on the radio/CD/iPod...
*Bedingfield comes on radio*
"...now, Catfish. Observe the trite lyrics and lack of originality contained within this song. This is music for people with no imagination or soul..."
*The Black Keys fires up*
"...on the other hand, although this music could be described as lo-fi, maybe to the point to amateurish, it still contains more ideas and - please excuse my french - rocks like a nasty bastard... no, Catfish. It's not good to say "bastard"..."
She's a big fan of Pavement and the funkier side of the Primal Scream. She's also starting to appreciate QOTSA at the moment.
(Fri 8th Apr 2005, 10:44, More)
» I just don't get it
The Fashion Industry
I sat through some of that awful "I Want to be a Glorified Clothes Horse" programme on Channel 5 last week and was struck by how self-important all these people are.
One of them, a photographer bloke, has a single word name (which he's had sewn into the back of his jacket) and acts like he's curing cancer!
He's taking pictures of starving adolescents who have been brainwashed into thinking that being so thin that your knees are wider than your thighs is more beautiful than being happy in your own skin!
Twats. The lot of them.
(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 11:38, More)
The Fashion Industry
I sat through some of that awful "I Want to be a Glorified Clothes Horse" programme on Channel 5 last week and was struck by how self-important all these people are.
One of them, a photographer bloke, has a single word name (which he's had sewn into the back of his jacket) and acts like he's curing cancer!
He's taking pictures of starving adolescents who have been brainwashed into thinking that being so thin that your knees are wider than your thighs is more beautiful than being happy in your own skin!
Twats. The lot of them.
(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 11:38, More)
» Petty Sabotage
Beejay
I think most of us here are, or were, virginal little geeks at school.
That's why we're so great now.
(Fri 6th May 2005, 10:02, More)
Beejay
I think most of us here are, or were, virginal little geeks at school.
That's why we're so great now.
(Fri 6th May 2005, 10:02, More)