» Lies Your Parents Told You

Peters & Lee
When I asked why Peters (or was it Lee) was blind, my mum told me it was because he didn't wash his hands after playing out and had rubbed his eyes. Only a mum could co-opt a blind man into their never-ending quest for child hygiene.
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 16:29, More)

» Stuff You've Overheard

Bus joke
"why did the pie leave early?"

"Dunno"

"Cos it was meat 'n' potato"

Made my journey to work fly by...
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 9:31, More)

» Shit Stories

Art poo / Nag poo
2 stories -

Whilst an art studend, I did one of those massive, unshiftable turds. That's when I discovered the long-distance slicing properties of the long handled paint brushes (not the bristled end, of course, that would be disgusting)

After getting horribly drunk in town with my sister one Christmas (on Guinness), I staggered home and belatedly decided to phone my gf and explain why I had failed to meet her as I had apparently arranged. She launched into a marathon moaning session, but I was so pissed I simply slumped by the phone (which is in a communal hall), and proceeded to ruin a brand new pair of 501s, before eventually realising my plight and ending the call. Ah, Christmas...

This is the funniest thread I've read, by the way. Good job the office is empty...
(Thu 6th May 2004, 16:34, More)