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» My Worst Vomit
Recent Puke - The Spitfire Vomit
I was at the Spitfire Proms a few weeks ago.
A very civilised affair. Picnic outside a stately home with a spitfire flying over then The Royal Philharmonic playing all the classic favourites.
As it was a civilised affair we all took our young ladies and had a very pleasant picnic. About 10 old people set up their deckchairs behind us and were obviously having a very jolly time.
I took gin and tonic as I didint want to get slaughtered. Unfortunately I accidently got steaming drunk. My firt measure of Gin was 3/4 gin. I remember the fisrt half of the concert . It really was fantatsic and I highly recommend it.
Can't remember anything else after that.
My missus says that she realised I was pissed when she took me up to dance to the band that were on between halves. Apparently "it was like dancing with a toddler at a wedding".
Then I sat down and went floppy and was singing 'Hitler has only got one ball' to colonel bogey at the top of my voice. She was telling me to be quiet because of the pensioners and I was saying " no they love it - they hate Hitler too."
Then came my finale. During Rule Britannia when everyone else is stood up I was heaving.
Rule Britannia - phworoyurrrkkrkrkkkgg
Britannia rules the waves..
yurrrghhhjjkkkss
Wish I remembered it because it sounds bloody funny.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 16:34, More)
Recent Puke - The Spitfire Vomit
I was at the Spitfire Proms a few weeks ago.
A very civilised affair. Picnic outside a stately home with a spitfire flying over then The Royal Philharmonic playing all the classic favourites.
As it was a civilised affair we all took our young ladies and had a very pleasant picnic. About 10 old people set up their deckchairs behind us and were obviously having a very jolly time.
I took gin and tonic as I didint want to get slaughtered. Unfortunately I accidently got steaming drunk. My firt measure of Gin was 3/4 gin. I remember the fisrt half of the concert . It really was fantatsic and I highly recommend it.
Can't remember anything else after that.
My missus says that she realised I was pissed when she took me up to dance to the band that were on between halves. Apparently "it was like dancing with a toddler at a wedding".
Then I sat down and went floppy and was singing 'Hitler has only got one ball' to colonel bogey at the top of my voice. She was telling me to be quiet because of the pensioners and I was saying " no they love it - they hate Hitler too."
Then came my finale. During Rule Britannia when everyone else is stood up I was heaving.
Rule Britannia - phworoyurrrkkrkrkkkgg
Britannia rules the waves..
yurrrghhhjjkkkss
Wish I remembered it because it sounds bloody funny.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 16:34, More)
» Stuff You've Overheard
At the end of the rainbow
Whilst sat outside my local I overhead a parent telling her small child as a Rainbow could be seen in the distance...
"There is a cock of gold at the end of that Rainbow"
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 12:44, More)
At the end of the rainbow
Whilst sat outside my local I overhead a parent telling her small child as a Rainbow could be seen in the distance...
"There is a cock of gold at the end of that Rainbow"
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 12:44, More)
» My Worst Vomit
White Puke
Got up for work. Had to catch the 6:45 train to London. Had a heavy night before so did my usual of drinking a cold galss of milk to cure the hangover. Walking up to the buss stop I have my first ciggy of the day. It doesnt agree with me.
I then spew pure milk all over the path in a lovely white fountain and carry on walking.
When I get to the bus stop and looked round there were about 5 other people who were behind me and must have witnessed 'white puke'.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 15:58, More)
White Puke
Got up for work. Had to catch the 6:45 train to London. Had a heavy night before so did my usual of drinking a cold galss of milk to cure the hangover. Walking up to the buss stop I have my first ciggy of the day. It doesnt agree with me.
I then spew pure milk all over the path in a lovely white fountain and carry on walking.
When I get to the bus stop and looked round there were about 5 other people who were behind me and must have witnessed 'white puke'.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 15:58, More)
» Lies Your Parents Told You
Ice Cream Vans
The bloke I sit next to at work has two young children( 3 and 2 years old ).
He has told them that when the ice cream van bells ring, it means that they have run out of ice cream.
I have told him they will grow up to be axe murderers when they are hit with the truth.
(Thu 15th Jan 2004, 16:39, More)
Ice Cream Vans
The bloke I sit next to at work has two young children( 3 and 2 years old ).
He has told them that when the ice cream van bells ring, it means that they have run out of ice cream.
I have told him they will grow up to be axe murderers when they are hit with the truth.
(Thu 15th Jan 2004, 16:39, More)