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- a member for 20 years, 3 months and 29 days
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» Shit Stories
more poo
oh, and
a) eating treacle toffee nearly always gives me "blue poo"
b) ex girlfriend in bed, who tried to sneak out a sly fart whilst i was in a drunked coma, only to shit the bed
c) another ex girlfriend who went into a pub toilet after one too many shandies, only to have a crap, then discover there was no paper to wipe her botty with, so she did the only reasonable thing, ripped down the toilets net curtain and used that
(Thu 6th May 2004, 8:58, More)
more poo
oh, and
a) eating treacle toffee nearly always gives me "blue poo"
b) ex girlfriend in bed, who tried to sneak out a sly fart whilst i was in a drunked coma, only to shit the bed
c) another ex girlfriend who went into a pub toilet after one too many shandies, only to have a crap, then discover there was no paper to wipe her botty with, so she did the only reasonable thing, ripped down the toilets net curtain and used that
(Thu 6th May 2004, 8:58, More)
» Shit Stories
Lots of Pooo !
A mate of mine once had such a HUGE night out on the piss whilst in Sydney over Xmas, that when we awoke in the morning he was lying face down on his bed, with no trousers or jocks on, and shit smudged between both cheeks. He had shit all over his hand. We followed the trail of shit across his bedroom floor, into the kitchen and up to the fridge, which of course had taken the full treatment of runny shit inside. What a fucking mess it was. He did'nt half make a funny face clearing it up - we even took photos of it just in case he ever became famous, and/or rich. Oh how we laughed as we bribed him once he became a famous professional footballer !!!
(Thu 6th May 2004, 8:48, More)
Lots of Pooo !
A mate of mine once had such a HUGE night out on the piss whilst in Sydney over Xmas, that when we awoke in the morning he was lying face down on his bed, with no trousers or jocks on, and shit smudged between both cheeks. He had shit all over his hand. We followed the trail of shit across his bedroom floor, into the kitchen and up to the fridge, which of course had taken the full treatment of runny shit inside. What a fucking mess it was. He did'nt half make a funny face clearing it up - we even took photos of it just in case he ever became famous, and/or rich. Oh how we laughed as we bribed him once he became a famous professional footballer !!!
(Thu 6th May 2004, 8:48, More)
» Lies Your Parents Told You
THE NAUGHTY HOUSE - Scarred for life
Being one of four kids meant we usually went on camping holidays, often to France. Off we would trundle in our clapped out old red Nissan Estate packed to the point of almost bursting. Mum and Dad in front, me, elder brother and sister in back seat, and little brother curled up in a ball in the boot ! (Yes, very responsible parenting - not). As the journeys wore on, and the temperatures rose, bordeom and frustration would set in - and tempers would fray. I remember clearly the moment when my little brother (poor bugger cramped up in the boot for hours on end) was being a bit of a little bastard just as we drove past some type of industrial plant, you know the kind with tall towers with gas flames burning at the top. My parents had the bright idea of telling him that this complex was The Naughty House and this was the place where all parents took their naughty children to be punished. I've never seen him shut up so quickly, it was hilarious (only because we were old enough to know they were bull shitting) - in fact me, my elder brother and sister jumped on the bandwagon and elaborated on what happened in there. How evil we were telling him that the men in there would pull out his finger nails, and spank him for hours on end, burn his hair in the flames - what a bunch of evil bastards we were !
But as a parental white lie it worked a treat at getting a troublesome youngster in the back of the car to shut up !!
(Sat 17th Jan 2004, 20:47, More)
THE NAUGHTY HOUSE - Scarred for life
Being one of four kids meant we usually went on camping holidays, often to France. Off we would trundle in our clapped out old red Nissan Estate packed to the point of almost bursting. Mum and Dad in front, me, elder brother and sister in back seat, and little brother curled up in a ball in the boot ! (Yes, very responsible parenting - not). As the journeys wore on, and the temperatures rose, bordeom and frustration would set in - and tempers would fray. I remember clearly the moment when my little brother (poor bugger cramped up in the boot for hours on end) was being a bit of a little bastard just as we drove past some type of industrial plant, you know the kind with tall towers with gas flames burning at the top. My parents had the bright idea of telling him that this complex was The Naughty House and this was the place where all parents took their naughty children to be punished. I've never seen him shut up so quickly, it was hilarious (only because we were old enough to know they were bull shitting) - in fact me, my elder brother and sister jumped on the bandwagon and elaborated on what happened in there. How evil we were telling him that the men in there would pull out his finger nails, and spank him for hours on end, burn his hair in the flames - what a bunch of evil bastards we were !
But as a parental white lie it worked a treat at getting a troublesome youngster in the back of the car to shut up !!
(Sat 17th Jan 2004, 20:47, More)