» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Hamster balls
1st time trying out acid. In a local pub back home near Edinburgh. Mates are giving us grief about how we're taking that pish, while they are firing pints down their necks at a rate of knots. Anyway, ended up seeing my mate coming through the door while I knew he was playing me at pool. Every time I looked at the door I saw him coming in to the room. And realising that "Death in Vegas" are the best band in the world to listen to when you're tripping (try it - awesome!!).
On the way home, I was convinced that I was in a giant hamster ball, and was using my hands to get it to roll me home. Shat meself when I had to walk down hill as I thought it'd roll away, so was leaning way back going down hill. As I walked past the river, I thought that as the ball was plastic I'd be able to float it home as my house was just beside the river. Needless to say, it never worked. but that was because the hamster ball was full of holes - otherwise I would have suffocated by that point.

Not done acid for years, and probably wont again, as getting hold of it is aboutu as easy as flyingin the air these days.
(Mon 19th Dec 2005, 11:54, More)

» Useless Information

Football teams
The only British football club whose name you can't colour in any of the letters of is.....

Hull City
(Mon 21st Mar 2005, 15:31, More)

» Local Nutters

Nutters nearby
Back home, there was a guy who took it upon himself to be the bane of the local council's life, complaining about everything. His biggest gripe was the weeds in he pavement cracks. What did he do to sort this? Complain? Protests? NO. He fashioned a flamethrower from a butane canister and the nozzle off a fire extinguisher, and tried to get rid of the buggers that way.

He was also the one heard shouting "Gaun Yerself, YA Fucking Bastard!" on a live teatime news broadcast from a local greyhound racing track.
(Mon 20th Sep 2004, 12:00, More)

» Take my Mother-in-law...

My MIL....
is a nice woman, but in her quest to be nice has landed herself (and us) in some wierd situations.

Once, she thought it would be a good idea to come over and help us tidy up our flat when we were at work, only to go raking about slightly too much.

Needless to say, the conversation a couple of evenings later about our bedrooms antics being out own business, but the utensils used should be better hidden was an interesting one....

And she came across my stash of disco biscuits another time. Managed to tell her they were for my hay fever, so got away with that one.
(Fri 9th Sep 2005, 14:53, More)

» Childhood bad taste

first comedy show i went to see...
...was Russ Abbott. Used to love him when I was wee.

And Roy Walker was his warm up act.

Sad. But I met Bella Emberg in the chippy afterwards.
(Thu 16th Dec 2004, 10:06, More)