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Profile for izb:
Profile Info:

bwah

Recent front page messages:

pearoasting
on account of this was posted in the middle of the night one night Is that still allowed?

(Fri 24th Jun 2005, 10:01, More)

It was all just a camping accident

(Thu 17th Oct 2002, 10:30, More)

-

(Fri 4th Oct 2002, 13:23, More)

even cerberus was a puppy once

(Mon 30th Sep 2002, 11:04, More)

pilot-school humour

(Mon 2nd Sep 2002, 12:38, More)

-

so tall
(Mon 5th Aug 2002, 12:21, More)

look at him go...

(Tue 30th Jul 2002, 9:56, More)

Walk the dog, Luke

(Thu 25th Jul 2002, 12:54, More)

-

har har har har har
(Wed 24th Jul 2002, 16:06, More)

Winona says she's not guilty
clicky
But wait.. Someone stop her!

(Mon 17th Jun 2002, 8:58, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Burger King kind of social gaffe thing
I was once in Burger King, at the back of the queue trying to work out what I wanted from the menu. Unfortunately I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't see too well.

Luckily I knew the eye-focusing trick of squinting, putting your fingers into the corners of your eyes and pulling them outwards (Try it, it works).

I was standing in this pose reading the menu completely oblivious to the Chinese family walking towards me after having purchased their meals. They assumed I was some twat taking the piss, but I got away with a dirty look.

The shame.
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 12:46, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

To a colleague in the pub
(An I have no idea whatsoever what made me say this, apart from the fact that she looked miserable)

Me: "Go on, pull a funny face!"

Her: "Are you taking the piss? That's not very funny."

Turns out she was in a lot of pain after a detnal operation and her face was still slightly paralysed.
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 12:55, More)

» Happy 10th Birthday B3ta

I remember it when it was weirdly yellow coloured
Or at least I hope I do, or I would be imagining that and that'd be distressing. Pretty sure it wasn't much more than a link to a yahoo group.

I remember the furtive bear stealing a fluffy penguin for the first time. I remember dogs in snoods. I remember a picture of a tennis player kissing a trophy which appeared to be a glass cock. I remember a zillion people all posting the same image. I remember the flood of traffic when the newsletter pointed its gaze at tinywindowsgames.com (Now defunct) which led to a hong kong museum paying me $50 to put tiny space invaders in some sort of gallery. That was cool. B3ta was the direct cause of me dicking around with a wide array of web technologies. Without b3ta, I would not know perl, PHP, flash or MySQL. I'd certainly be a lot shittier at photoshop than I am now.

I remember the spiderman who would make you gay, and 'introducing monday' ("Ha ha ha, we've got your name..."). And the dark day when the board ruined the life (Or at least the website) of some guy called Andrew somethingorother.

Because of b3ta, I was once interviewed by a broadsheet newspaper (Scotland on Sunday, I think) on the subject of websites that allow people to shirk of work in the office. I was one of three interviewed and used an alias. For some reason, I pretended to be 2 of those people, which seemed weirdly to be a b3ta thing to do.

I remember when the image challenge only had one winner, and each week had its own judge picked from the board. Back then you had a chance of winning or being FP'd just by virtue of producing lots of images. I managed both and all mine were shit.

I remember making a clone messageboard on dynofoo.com which became a sort of unofficial backup board when b3ta went down. It had coloured edges on the left of posts to show you what was new. I like to fantasise that b3ta copied that from me.

Can't actually remember how I found the site actually. It was almost certainly from some sort of flash thing. Or perhaps some sort of quiz based on transgender ladymen.

Being miles from London, I never met any of the people behind the curious little aliases. I do, however, still have a b3ta tee shirt. I wore it to work recently and it spawned a conversation about animated gifs.

Sorry about the line breaks.

Potatoswap. Ovenready. Happy birthday, b3ta.. Woo! Yay!
(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 14:51, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

To someone who was looking unhappy
Me: "What's up with you, did your gran die or something?"

Him: (Stares at me) "..."

Turns out he was just back from the hospital after visiting his terminally ill gran.

I didn't know. I swear.
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 12:57, More)

» Hidden Treasure

Once
whilst on a company trip to Gillingham I discovered a catalogue full of 'nasty amateur wifes' pinned underneath the hotel room's table using a broken piece of wood. The wifes may have been amateur, but they certainly appeared keen. I put it back where I found it for future travellers to discover.
(Thu 30th Jun 2005, 22:45, More)
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