Profile for Chrysogenated - the Uber-lurker:
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- a member for 22 years, 0 months and 15 days
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- has posted 1 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 3 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» Things you've done when you've had no money.
Scotch Eggs
From the co-op.
Hundreds of them.
Two months.
'Nuff said.
(Fri 8th Oct 2004, 22:43, More)
Scotch Eggs
From the co-op.
Hundreds of them.
Two months.
'Nuff said.
(Fri 8th Oct 2004, 22:43, More)
» Useless Information
Useless awesomeness
i) Maggie Thatcher was part of the team of Oxford chemists that invented Mr. Whippy ice cream.
ii) The "Hitler only had one ball" song is a British wartime ditty. When the Russians opened up bits of their Presidential Archive decades later, people were stunned by the fact that according to the autopsy, it was actually true. However, the autopsy report on Hitler has a series of addenda in biro (the rest were typed) which it is suspected were done by a mischievious caretaker.
iii) Arsenal's team were drawn from the Woolwich Arsenal - hence their name. If that doesn't count as being named after an area, then Crystal Palace do very well. There's an area called 'Crystal Palace', but the team isn't from there and never has been - it is named after the Palace, being a team made of workers from it - Palace also shoot down the oft-cited 'Surrey is one of the only three (?)counties without a league club' thing.
iv) The English name for the capital of China is 'Peking'. Beijing is an attempt at making our pronunciation sound more like Mandarin, whereas Peking is from the Cantonese name for it. Posh important people spoke Mandarin though, and plebs spoke Cantonese. Tells you what you need to know about the old Chinese view of Westerners, eh...
v) The Nike Corporation promoted and funded basketball as a sport to allow them to sell their basketball shoes. They did in the USA, now in China. They are very successful, despite the fact that basketball is as much fun as an enema.
vi) Lemmings aren't as suicidal as people think. Their reputation is based on a Disney film which purported to show a mass exodus to a cliff to throw themselves off. In fact it was camera TRICKERY.
vii) County border changes mean that the county town of Surrey (Kingston-upon-Thames) is now no longer in Surrey.
viii) Acronyms - some debatable...
OK = zero killed
SNAFU = 'situation normal' all fucked up*
FUBAR = fucked up beyond all recognition
ix) In Java, there is no concept of race. To be Javanese means to conform to their cultural forms. Consequently, 'you're not very Javanese' is how they'd say you were being weird or rude...
/relurk
* 'situation normal' was the 'we're all okay and nothing odd is going on' call sign in 'Nam.
(Mon 21st Mar 2005, 13:35, More)
Useless awesomeness
i) Maggie Thatcher was part of the team of Oxford chemists that invented Mr. Whippy ice cream.
ii) The "Hitler only had one ball" song is a British wartime ditty. When the Russians opened up bits of their Presidential Archive decades later, people were stunned by the fact that according to the autopsy, it was actually true. However, the autopsy report on Hitler has a series of addenda in biro (the rest were typed) which it is suspected were done by a mischievious caretaker.
iii) Arsenal's team were drawn from the Woolwich Arsenal - hence their name. If that doesn't count as being named after an area, then Crystal Palace do very well. There's an area called 'Crystal Palace', but the team isn't from there and never has been - it is named after the Palace, being a team made of workers from it - Palace also shoot down the oft-cited 'Surrey is one of the only three (?)counties without a league club' thing.
iv) The English name for the capital of China is 'Peking'. Beijing is an attempt at making our pronunciation sound more like Mandarin, whereas Peking is from the Cantonese name for it. Posh important people spoke Mandarin though, and plebs spoke Cantonese. Tells you what you need to know about the old Chinese view of Westerners, eh...
v) The Nike Corporation promoted and funded basketball as a sport to allow them to sell their basketball shoes. They did in the USA, now in China. They are very successful, despite the fact that basketball is as much fun as an enema.
vi) Lemmings aren't as suicidal as people think. Their reputation is based on a Disney film which purported to show a mass exodus to a cliff to throw themselves off. In fact it was camera TRICKERY.
vii) County border changes mean that the county town of Surrey (Kingston-upon-Thames) is now no longer in Surrey.
viii) Acronyms - some debatable...
OK = zero killed
SNAFU = 'situation normal' all fucked up*
FUBAR = fucked up beyond all recognition
ix) In Java, there is no concept of race. To be Javanese means to conform to their cultural forms. Consequently, 'you're not very Javanese' is how they'd say you were being weird or rude...
/relurk
* 'situation normal' was the 'we're all okay and nothing odd is going on' call sign in 'Nam.
(Mon 21st Mar 2005, 13:35, More)
» Local Nutters
Musical Ken
In Oxford, theres a crazy guy called Musical Ken. He walks around with his stuff in a big orange rubbish bag and sleeps in a graveyard(the one opposite Boswells, for any locals).
The joy of Musical Ken is/was (haven't seen him for a bit) his total lack of musical ability, his ignorance of that fact and his ability to talk total bullshit.
He once approached us at a cashpoint, and said 'Hi, I'm Ken - I'd like to play a song for you guys - what'll it be?'. One of my friends said 'How about 'Let It Be?''. Ken concentrated and pulled his harmonica out, solemnly raising it to his mouth. He breathed in, pressed his lips against the instrument and then blew randomly and tunelessly (and with no small amount of gobbyness) through the harmonica for a few seconds, creating the impression that several cats were being hurt simultaneously. He stopped saying 'Do you know who taught me to play harmonica?'. Obviously we didn't. 'John Lennon - I was at school with 'im. Taught me everything he knew. He also taught me to play the gee-tar'
Musical Ken then said 'This is something Bob Dylan taught me...' He tapped his foot, shook his head in time with the music and counted himself in '4,3,2,1...' before blowing into the harmonica and pushing it randomly from side to side. If it was a chorus of swinging cats before, it was a chorus of swinging cats being swung around over his head this time...
Further questioning revealed that he had co-written 'Cats' by Andrew Lloyd-Webber and had also been at school with Mick Jagger (for whom he had done studio recordings).
We love Musical Ken. He's bonkers. The best thing? When we used to say hello to him when we saw him in the street, he used to say either 'keep on rocking!' or 'you guys are crazy!'.
Bless him.
(Thu 16th Sep 2004, 19:31, More)
Musical Ken
In Oxford, theres a crazy guy called Musical Ken. He walks around with his stuff in a big orange rubbish bag and sleeps in a graveyard(the one opposite Boswells, for any locals).
The joy of Musical Ken is/was (haven't seen him for a bit) his total lack of musical ability, his ignorance of that fact and his ability to talk total bullshit.
He once approached us at a cashpoint, and said 'Hi, I'm Ken - I'd like to play a song for you guys - what'll it be?'. One of my friends said 'How about 'Let It Be?''. Ken concentrated and pulled his harmonica out, solemnly raising it to his mouth. He breathed in, pressed his lips against the instrument and then blew randomly and tunelessly (and with no small amount of gobbyness) through the harmonica for a few seconds, creating the impression that several cats were being hurt simultaneously. He stopped saying 'Do you know who taught me to play harmonica?'. Obviously we didn't. 'John Lennon - I was at school with 'im. Taught me everything he knew. He also taught me to play the gee-tar'
Musical Ken then said 'This is something Bob Dylan taught me...' He tapped his foot, shook his head in time with the music and counted himself in '4,3,2,1...' before blowing into the harmonica and pushing it randomly from side to side. If it was a chorus of swinging cats before, it was a chorus of swinging cats being swung around over his head this time...
Further questioning revealed that he had co-written 'Cats' by Andrew Lloyd-Webber and had also been at school with Mick Jagger (for whom he had done studio recordings).
We love Musical Ken. He's bonkers. The best thing? When we used to say hello to him when we saw him in the street, he used to say either 'keep on rocking!' or 'you guys are crazy!'.
Bless him.
(Thu 16th Sep 2004, 19:31, More)