» When animals attack...

Bob
We have a little fluffy kitten called Bob, he is undoubtedly Satan incarnated in feline form. We've had him for about 8 months, and I still have scratches everywhere. My boyfriend managed to get multiple scratches down his torso, which made the most awful noise.
On to the cuter bits- he waits for you after you've showered, he has this little cubby hole he sits in and waits until you exit, then he pounces. Once I stopped before I got to his hideyhole, and waited. He crept out really quietly and did this animated look up from my feet up to my face. I could read his thinking 'Oh.. bugger'.
I think I can speak 'cat' - When he wants to go outside, Bob will meow at the lounge window, a lot. I started getting fed up and meowed back (yeah, sounds silly now) and he looked at me squarely, ran over and sort of cat-punched me, and then ran off again.

God only know what he'll be capable of when he grows up.
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 20:11, More)

» When I met the parents

Ooh, a mushy success story this one
I met my boyfriend at Christmas time, I got on with him Mum straight away, almost like a house on fire. We went our separate ways for Xmas day. Later on I was watching a video they'd recorded when I wasn't there (one of the very few moments) and I'd heard practically everyone say things along the lines of 'yeah, I reckon he'll marry her'. :D Awww.
I went on a school trip (as a volunteer) with his Mum shortly afterwards, which made me really comfortable around the 'mother in law'.
It's worked out great, we are getting married too ;).

Ah, I feel better for sharing.
(Fri 20th May 2005, 22:21, More)

» Terrible Parenting

I can see the funny side now.
My mum's always told me stories that were, sorta verging on a bit harsh, and being a gullible little kid, I believed them for years. This is the best one though.

Dad's in the Army, so we did a fair bit of travelling about, but mostly to Germany.
In the car once driving from England to Germany, we had a puncture that was making a fairly significant amount of noise. Me, less than 5 at the time, asked my Mum what the noise was, to which she replied 'It's the soldiers shooting at us, keep your head down'. I remember clear as day hiding, terrified, in the rear foot well ALL the fucking way there!

Pretty appalling, but I can understand now how it might've been funny for them at the time! :)
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 21:50, More)

» Essential Items

It's probably pretty sensible...
but I think it's hilarious.

I'll just set the scene quickly. My Dad often (IMO) gets hit by the histeria bug. Upon the recent Gulf War he bought crap loads of plastic sheeting and left a sheet by every window with masking tape -incase of chemical warefare.
The months preceding Y2K, our kitchen became fuller and fuller with long life food, tins and freezer food -convinced that millenium bug was going to cause the next famine.

Now he carries around a sleeping bag and a shovel in the boot of his car, incase he gets snowed in on the motorway! Yeah, I suppose when it does happen he'll have the last laugh but he always makes me giggle! Are we not having another uncharacteristically warm October?
(Fri 28th Oct 2005, 23:44, More)

» Weddings

Oh dear
I don't know why I feel compelled to tell you this.

It was my Mothers wedding to my Stepdad, nice enough guy, she lives in Germany, so I flew out after picking my own bridesmaid outfit. If you were having a ten year old bridesmaid, would you let her choose her own outfit?! Se hated it, and didn't have any problem telling me :(

On the morning of the wedding, we were walking up the steps of the registry office when I walked straight into one of those bars you hang an hanging basket on. It really hurt. A lot. I was trying to be brave/not cause a scene, but couldn't help myself silently crying.

My mum thought I was overcome with emotion, at the time that couldn't be further from the truth, as we've only just started speaking after about 6 years (although thats another story).
(Wed 20th Jul 2005, 21:35, More)