» Abusing freebies

God bless the DSS
Back when I was an 18-year-old doley scum, living in a decent flat paid for with housing benefits, the unmistakable brown envelope containing that 2-weeks dole cheque landed on the doormat on a day it shouldn't have. "Oh well" I think, "just means I'll have spent it two days earlier". When I open the envelope however, instead of the usual cheque for, I think, about £70 (we're going back a long way here), are two shiney DSS cheques for £150 each. So I leg it up to the Post Office to cash them quickly before they realise their mistake, come back 10 minutes later with 15 crisp £20 notes in my pocket. Cue 2 days of absolute mayhem for me and a few friends. Just as that money is coming to an end, with nothing of note to show for it, another familiar brown envelope lands on the doormat. "Shit, they've rumbled me" I think. I open the envelope with shaking hands and can barely bring myself to look at the contents. Two more cheques - for £250 each this time! So over the course of about 4 days, the DSS gift-horsed me £800, and 17 years later, I still haven't heard a thing about it from the Powers That Be. That last £500 paid for an incredible weekend in Amsterdam, by the way.
(Wed 14th Nov 2007, 14:00, More)