George never knew


Saddam's finger did that.

Yay! My first post. Be gentle...

Edit: woweeee FPd on my first post! Gosh its like a wierd strange dream come true! Or something.
(Tue 6th Jul 2004, 10:02, More)

» Petty Sabotage

Messing with phones
Back at uni, round about the time when EVERYONE first got mobile phones, there were several things we woulddo to survive brain-meltingly boring Signal Processing lectures.

One was to stealthily 'borrow' a mate's mobile and change your number entry to something like "XXX Sexy old ladies". Put the profile on loud for good measure, then carefully return it.

Once the initial embarrasement of the stupid ringtone waking up half the class has passed, the glory of watching their face when confronted by the prospect of a dodgy line actually ringing THEM (maybe congratulating them on being a loyal customer?) is well worth a giggle.

Possibly the most hilarious use of this was on a guy who was always on the phone, and always seemed to have several girls on the go at once, including a 'regular' girlfriend. Anyway, we decided to teach him a lesson... phone nicked and as many girls names exchanged as we could be bothered. Then the 'main' girlfriend was swapped with his mum.

After the lecture... phone rings. "Hi Babe.." followed by a pause. Then confusion... it was weeks before his life returned to normal.
(Wed 4th May 2005, 11:46, More)

» My Worst Vomit

bloody hell, where do I start??
I went to Uni at Warwick. The union bars served a drink that I'm told was banned by a good number of perhaps more sensible (or less money-grabbing) institutions. Anyway, 'Purple' - a sticky sweet snakebite (lager and cider) with a double dash of blackcurrant - was all the rage. They even put the ribena bottles in the optics.

So, it's my birthday (19 I think) and for some reason I've ended up standing by the bar, somewhat worse for wear and about 6 purples down, for some reason talking with a load of utter chavs in their shiny white reebok classics. Now the drink may be called purple, but it comes up red. Deep red. (according to the paramedics, stomach-lining red). Cue me feeling a lot better and chavs running off to fuss over their newly decorated reeboks!

Also, same location, later that year and a morning after - had to catch a bus to Leamington. Worked my way from the halls to the bus stop (about 3 mins walk) via every bush, toilet, quiet corner, bin and sink I could find. My god I was feeling rancid. The bus leaves and after the first few corners I'm feeling the stomach knotting and writhing again. The only thing I had was a bag from the Uni shop. One of those ones with holes punched for some unknown fucking reason in the bottom. Made quite a good sieve...

Apologies for ramblingness.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 5:22, More)

» People with Stupid Names

There was a girl
in my brother's yeat at school called Hannah Lickfold.

Never knew what happened to her, but a career as a lesbian pr0n acrtess seemed appropriate
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 12:32, More)

» World's Most Hated Food

oi come from Cheddar oi do
which means I can't stand all the bland fucking rubber that passes for cheese everywhere else in the world! Save a few select places: Most of England is one, except those breeze-block sized Tesco Value offerings. India (where I live right now) is definately not. Their attempts at Cheddar are pitiful, over processed and would probably give me the runs like half the food here does anyway.

Oh yeah and the Nestle milk here lasts for 6 months. Without being in the fridge! Ungodly indestructable milk-flavoured chemical concoction. ugh.
(Tue 13th Jul 2004, 13:08, More)