» Stalked

Stalking
Now I know I am going to sound like a physco here. When I was 16, I moved out of home and got a Bedsit in Mutley. Having no parental supervision and a dodgy off-licence, I started smoking and Drinking like Gary Glitter liked Children...

Our local Radio Station around here was 97FM Plymouth Sound with Dave and Kerry at Breakfast. I didn't realise this but he actually lived around the corner from me at the time, and regualy walked past the flat several times a day. Realising the minor celeb haunts that would come and go (and bearing that I didn't have a TV or a Computer back then - it was 1997) I would sit outside in the park and watch the other Z-list celebs turn up. (God this is sounding sad and fucked up to me...)

Me being the devil that I am, I started leaving presents on his car, like chocolates, roses, Condoms (not used) and teddy bears. I knew that it would freak him out and wanted to watch the entertainment.

Then 2 months later I finally could afford to buy a Black and White Television, and found another form of entertainment.

If I remember correctly, about 3 months after I stopped, he had a breakdown live on air.

Length : Too Short for my liking
(Sat 2nd Feb 2008, 11:18, More)

» I witnessed a crime

knives
Two Saturdays ago, we opened the club and as normal for a Saturday our door staff don't start until 10pm.

8 Chav-scum-wank came in trying to be all hard and twatty, I asked them all for ID. none of them had it so I refused to serve them. " of them went to the loo and then after some arguing they left.

Went to check the toilets (like I have to do every 30 minutes) . They left a calling card - a 11 inch-kitchen knife.

We've cleaned it, and it's very handy to open boxes with...

Lttle buggers
(Thu 14th Feb 2008, 17:01, More)

» The Soundtrack of your Life

as gay as could be
I think mine has to be sarah brightman and hot gossip's "I lost my heart to a starship trooper" I used to put it on the jukebox, scream along to it and it would help me pull the ditsy queens. fuck knows why it worked. also worked on drunk marines and sailors.
(Tue 2nd Feb 2010, 2:20, More)

» Anonymous

Vomit
back in the days when the london astoria was still there and G.A.Y. was still there (with its VIP section) I once drank too much vodka and threw up on Geri Haliwell's shoes and the bottom of her jeans. she then took me to the ladies toilets and held my hair whilst throwing up.

this is my only claim to my anonymous fame.
(Thu 14th Jan 2010, 12:50, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

Lesbian's...
I work in a Very Large chain of nightclubs, and about six months ago we employed a lesbian called "Tracy"* (lets call her that).

Within 4 weeks of joining she kept on touching the other female staff, giving free drinks to the ladies (we lost a lot of stock, and customers) we also had the violent mood-swings, it was a complete mistake to employ her.

When she was caught on CCTV actually giving away 16 drinks in 15 minutes, my boss finally lost it and sacked her for gross misconduct.

She is now suing the company for harrassment due to her sexuality. Now I am a Gay, and last week spent 5 hours explaining to a tribunial how she wasn't sacked for clam-licking, but for being a theif.

Forget the PC thing - I ended up getting two days off (paid) expenses paid because the tribunial was 120 miles away, so a new mobile phone has to be put down as expensives...

ME LUV PC for this...
(Thu 29th Nov 2007, 10:31, More)