» Going Too Far

.
i knew i was going to far when i did this
(Tue 14th Nov 2006, 1:53, More)

» Useless Information

pitates arrrrrr!!!!!
pirates wore eye patches because with this eye covered it would become hyper sensative thus making pirates able to navigate the seven seas at night arrrrrr

also theres a place in austria called 'fucking'
(Fri 18th Mar 2005, 13:52, More)

» Going Too Far

once in my house
i was sitting down at my pc decided to lean my chair back, i went too far and fell backwards

bollocks
(Fri 17th Nov 2006, 5:17, More)

» Top Tips

i learned this one last week...
if the girl you work with and also you fancy sits on your lap in front of everyone (including your boss) during the staff christmas night out, try and not to have a hard-on*

_{*unless she appreciates it}
(Tue 12th Dec 2006, 9:36, More)

» School Trips

paintballing back in 2004 with my college course
not exactly school but two years ago when i was still in swansea college doing IT, my tutor anne decided that she wanted take us paintballing to learn about 'team work' or some bollocks like that. out of the whole class only one person didn't go (he was a shy git who didn't really talk to anyone). i went for sole reason that kelly, the girl i fancied at the time was going and i was hoping to shoot something other than paintballs. unfortunatly, fuck all happened with her but this story isn't really about her. right, kelly was on my team along with rory the class goth/emo and the two disabled guys terry and richard (terry is half-blind and richard is in a wheelchair but can walk a little bit) there were some more but i can't remember who.

begin round one and we get annialated pretty much after five minutes, i get shot in the arm and leg which quite frankly fucking hurt. but then all of a sudden i hear an almighty crack sound and a scream and turn around to see that terry just got shot straight in the head and is bleeding pretty bad (remember he's half-blind and i gotta be honest i laughed my ass about it to which i'mpromtly going to hell for). so he gets treated to by the guys runnung the place and we have a breather before round two. i decide to buy 200 paintballs so that, to quote myself "victory will be mine".

begin round two and i'm shooting paintballs at anything that moved in my sight screaming "i'll cry when i've done killin'" from that advert from gta: vice city. i see someone move in front of me and i promtly shoot him in the leg, then i realised that i shot rory to which he calls me a prick. i then heard my tutor shout "you fucking bastard" as she got shot in the face and we got beaten again (i found out later that simon, the guy who hated anne shot her which made his day).

end of round two and we are all walking back to 'base', saquib (or zack as we all called him) was pushing richard in his wheelchair when somehow he fell forwards with his hands still on the wheelchair handle bars which causes richard to do a wheelie and fall backwards which made me literally almost piss myself laughing. round three was pretty much the same as the other rounds, my team gets beaten yet again and i get shot on the side of my face which fucking hurt.

here's a group photo of all of us before we went to battle, anyone who can guess which one is me gets the next two minutes off work*

length? kelly would have appreciated it and so should you

_{*may not be true}
(Tue 12th Dec 2006, 9:16, More)