» Crappy Prizes

Painting...
When I was a kid (back in the early 80s) my parents were labour party activists (of the old school left-wing trade unionist kind). Hence myself and my little brother used to get dragged to exciting events such as trade union conferences and the tolpuddle march. Fun!

Anyway at one such exciting event there was a tent for the kids and they had a painting competition. I think you had to paint the labour rose.

Imagine how thrilled I was a couple of weeks later to receive some post (and it wasn't even my birthday). Turns out I had won the painting competition. Hurrah!

My prize - a signed photo of Neil Kinnock. What more could a 7 year old girl want!
(Sun 7th Aug 2005, 16:35, More)

» When I met the parents

I can smell wee
My first proper boyfriend when I was 14 - we got together whilst slow dancing to Bryan Adam's at the school disco (show's my age).

His Mum wasn't in when I went round the first few times (his Dad had legged it years ago). So off we went to his bedroom and spent hours snogging (occasionally with tongues!).

Anyway, after about a month, we came downstairs following a mammoth session (I think he had a squeeze at my boob through my t-shirt). There was a faint smell of urine downstairs . He tries to get me to leave by the back door but I insist on having a look for the source. Go to front door, find his Mum collapsed on the floor stinking of piss and tramp fuel. Turns out his Mum was the local bag lady.

I didn't dump him straight away because I was in love. Then he told me thought my best mate was pretty so I had a crying fit and told him I didn't love him anymore.

And then I told everyone at school about his Mum (does that make me a bad person?)
(Fri 20th May 2005, 12:46, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Bless him.....
A couple of years ago my beloved bf went to his work Xmas party. I was having a quiet night in and called him at 11.30 to see when he would be back and he said he was just leaving. So off I went to bed.
I woke up at about 5.30 and he wasn't back. I was a bit worried by this so tried to call him but the phone kept ringing. I tried another few times and the phone just kept ringing. I was really starting to panic so couldn't get back to sleep.
At 8.30 I heard a shaky key in the door. I got up to see a v drunken bf walking in the door. At this point I exploded and screamed and cried at him for the next 10 minutes (in a typlically understated way). After I'd finished he produced a carrier bag.
He said he had tried to get some flowers but couldn't see any so he'd bought me 2 grapefruits for breakfast.
They were apples (that's what staying up all night drinking whisky does to you).
Thought that counts though I suppose!
First post by the way - woo!!
(Thu 13th Jan 2005, 18:15, More)

» Walkman Flashbacks

Pantera - Cowboys from Hell
It was 1996. We were both 17 and totally in love (he was a gorgeous but thick Kurt Cobain lookalike). We'd been together for a few months and had decided we were ready (seizing the opportunity of his parents being out.

Bit of light groping and general foreplay (involving some inept attempts at oral sex on both our parts).

We were both naked in front of each other for the first time and about ready to go when the CD ran out (which I believe was some chill out CD with The Orb's Little Fluffy Clouds on it). He quickly leans over and grabs the nearest CD so we can muffle the sounds (his little brother was in even though his parents weren't).

He penetrates me and we pause totally lost in the moment - then the CD starts and the opening bars of Cowboys from Hell start.

You can't beat class like that.

We only lasted a few months after that. The sex was surprisingly good for the first time. On reflection it's made me think that I should get hold of the CD again....
(Wed 30th Mar 2005, 10:53, More)

» Scars with history

CDT class....
which I believe stands for Craft, Design and Technology. I was 13 and frankly not much cop at it at all (being an arty type).
Whilst working on my project - which was to make a toy for a child (mine was a wooden duck on wheels) I decided to decorate it round the edge by branding it with little hearts.
Unfortunately being cack-handed I managed to brand my thumb. I still have the slightly faint scar 14 years later on my right thumb.
Just to add insult to injury I got sent out of class and a detention for swearing in class very loudly. I always thought Mr Smith was a twunt.
(Fri 4th Feb 2005, 22:04, More)