» Political Correctness Gone Mad

My grandmother...
while I was driving her to the hospital one day, we passed a Sikh temple. She looked at it, sighed and said to me "Bloody Muslims, coming over here and building their Synagogues".
Slightly off topic I know but isn't it always.
(Tue 27th Nov 2007, 16:32, More)

» Crazy Relatives

Not all that mad...
Picking my girlfriend a little while ago from her grandmothers (who is exactly how you would imagine an eighty year old italian woman), I walk in only to be shouted at in italian by her grandmother. After ranting for a little bit she then says in english "You understand"? The family (while laughing) translated for me, I was being told off for letting my girlfriend leave the house while showing off too much cleavage.
As if I'm going to tell her to cover up more, I'm not brave enough.
(Thu 12th Jul 2007, 12:25, More)

» Lies I told on my CV

Not mine, but a cousin...
asked to use my computer to write his CV on. Sice he left school before actually getting any qualifcations I was a little curious as to what he had actually put down. He gave himself a nice long list of high GCSE grades, including an A in English language, and also helpfully added that he was taking a "night coarse".

On another note, does anyone else ever think of listing Kryptonite as one of their weaknesses?
(Mon 10th Jul 2006, 23:29, More)

» Abusing freebies

Another free booze one...
But I could easily imagine most involving free booze at work related events.
Christmas party with my company a few years back, I knew before hand I'd get pretty drunk so I'd already asked a friend to pick me up. I vaguely remember the meal, I vaguely remember chatting up / getting drinks from the barmaid (she was great, as soon as I finished my drink she'd whip the glass away and fill it back up with another vodka and coke). I don't remember how I actually got home but was helpfully filled in by my friend, who did carry me home.
I’d apparently told the barmaid about this awful drink me and a few mates came up with for a dare: doubles of Aftershock, vodka and Baileys. She poured me a few of those that afternoon.
For this year we've been told three drinks each maximum.
(Thu 8th Nov 2007, 15:47, More)

» Road Rage

Swindon drivers...
How does a town so full of roundabouts produce so many drivers that completely fail to understand how to use them? Couple of weeks ago on my way home, 3 lane roundabout, me in the middle and some twunt on my left. the twunt decides he wants to turn right, with no thought that he might just force me to slam into his side. Luckily I brake and very narrowly avoid slamming into his door. Of course after managing to stop in time, there was a fair amount of beeping and visual swearing coming entirely from me. I thought about following him, perhaps asking him why he was so inclined to risk injury to people in my car and his then beating the shit into him. Luckily I remebered I'm a complete weed so gave up on that line of thought quickly.
Those of you thinking that the twunt might have just been worried about missing the turning, you could quite easily see the next roundabout just 30 meteres or so down the road.

Nah wasn't the magic roundabout, it's the duel carriageway by the Kembry trading estate heading to the A419
(Thu 12th Oct 2006, 22:51, More)