» Worst Nicknames Ever

Mmm Throaty
A-Level Biology with Mr. Powell: Unfortunately the man had a rather prominent adam's apple and a nervous disposition which i guess made it bob about somewhat. Resulted in the 'hilarious' nicknames of 'Throaty Powell' and [more amusingly] 'Whooped up a bollock' as it appeared that somehow he'd had a large coughing fit and just hacked one of the fellows up there...still there to this day I hear. Also said please and thankyou after most sentences 'can you open your books please thankyou' etc which on top of the fact that we didn't respect him at all meant that every lesson was a joyous occasion spent counting how many times he said please and how many times the bollock appeared to be making a break for it out of his mouth. It's suprising how I managed to actually get a C out of it to be honest.

And he was a shit teacher. Yeah...
(Sun 21st May 2006, 22:52, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

looking at old people on the bus
...and trying to figure out what they looked like before senescence occurred and withered their looks! try it one day. its great fun!

*ahem*
(Wed 13th Apr 2005, 20:51, More)

» When animals attack...

pesky mice!
Whilst saving it from the cat's jaws of death the small mouse in question thought it would be a great idea to run right up my trouser leg. For fear of my ladybits/legs recieving a nasty nip I hastily abandoned said trousers and proceeded to leap/dance/spaz out around the back patio much to my mum and sister's delight.

Now I know it didn't technically attack me, but it could have turned nasty! The bastard thing probably got eaten by the cat later on anyway...
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 19:08, More)

» When animals attack...

bitey kitten!
My boyfriend has 4 cats, two nice, two completely inbred bastards. They are the southern red neck married-my-cousin types of the cat world. Apart from trying to shag his sister at any given opportunity, the male cat who shall be known as Murphy also enjoys, for no given reason, biting and clawing anybody who happens to be in his vicinity.

In the boyfriend's eyes he can do no wrong. I, on the other hand, hate the little black and white fucker and so apparantly it's my fault when he takes a chunk of my flesh for his own.

Anyway, cut to the chase....when I stop at the boyfriend's house we end up sleeping on a futon in the lounge [insert wooden pallet and back ache galore]. So:

Bare feet+duvet twitching+psycho inbred cat = needle-claws and bitey teeth making contact with sensitive feet.

The shit. No, it's not 'aww he's just playing!' it's 'he's a deviant inbreed with anger problems.' gah.

ps. I love cats, I have 3 of my own! they are fluffy and cute. not completely evil cnuts. It is funny when he licks the futon cover though. Have no idea why he does it. And no idea why the phrase 'licking futon' should be so amusing! Just me then? right.
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 13:43, More)

» Phobias

I can't stand...
*Jumpy frogs [or any frogs, really] that leap out when you lift rocks up in the garden [bad childhood experience].
*The sensation of biting woolen things that make your teeth squeak together.
*The horrible feeling when you accidentally bend forward but don't break a really long fingernail on a wall or hard surface, especially if it's the little finger nail.
*Being tickled on the legs as it makes me have some kind of spazz attack/fit which in turn makes me produce strange 'argling' noises. Much to the amusement of my partner. Damn tickling.

*re-lurks*
(Sat 12th Apr 2008, 14:57, More)