Profile for mattl:
I run www.gnu.org
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- a member for 21 years, 10 months and 13 days
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- has posted 2 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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I run www.gnu.org
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» Shit Stories
Virgin Trains and ElderlyTurds
A slightly shocking experience recently, taking one of those new fancy Virgin trains (with the plug sockets under the seats) from Exeter up to Birmingham with my team leader.
Went to the toilet, about an hour outside of Brum, and upon pressing the 'open' button, was greeted with the sight of an elderly woman leaping to her feet, knickers around her ankles, old lady pubes showing, with a half-formed log sticking out of her arse... which then fell onto her knickers.
I turned, freaked and went back to my seat to relay the hilarious tale to my team leader, whereupon we both starting pissing ourselves with laughter, only to be joined by the old lady herself a few minutes later, who was sat on the seat in front of us.
That'll never leave me, that.
(Fri 7th May 2004, 17:07, More)
Virgin Trains and ElderlyTurds
A slightly shocking experience recently, taking one of those new fancy Virgin trains (with the plug sockets under the seats) from Exeter up to Birmingham with my team leader.
Went to the toilet, about an hour outside of Brum, and upon pressing the 'open' button, was greeted with the sight of an elderly woman leaping to her feet, knickers around her ankles, old lady pubes showing, with a half-formed log sticking out of her arse... which then fell onto her knickers.
I turned, freaked and went back to my seat to relay the hilarious tale to my team leader, whereupon we both starting pissing ourselves with laughter, only to be joined by the old lady herself a few minutes later, who was sat on the seat in front of us.
That'll never leave me, that.
(Fri 7th May 2004, 17:07, More)
» Clients Are Stupid
Once had a client who worked in a personnel department/human resources thing...
... it was their job to know about job requirements for various technical roles.
About six months into my job (technical) I was asked to design a web application for the processing of job applications. The applicant would fill out their name, age, etc etc and press a button and a neat little PDF document would be emailed to her so she could print it out.
I had a meeting with this person, and had to explain such diverse technical jargon as 'filling in a form', 'clicking submit', 'database', 'email' and lastly 'website'
She later refused to sign off the project claiming 'it didn't print' - after about twenty minutes of trying to work out the problem, she brought me one of the print outs she'd made to show me what was wrong with it.
She'd been asking people to go to the form, type all their information, print the page and fax it to her and because the page was too wide (and Internet Explorer doesn't have much in the way of printing skills) text was being chopped off the side of the page.
(Thu 1st Jan 2004, 19:10, More)
Once had a client who worked in a personnel department/human resources thing...
... it was their job to know about job requirements for various technical roles.
About six months into my job (technical) I was asked to design a web application for the processing of job applications. The applicant would fill out their name, age, etc etc and press a button and a neat little PDF document would be emailed to her so she could print it out.
I had a meeting with this person, and had to explain such diverse technical jargon as 'filling in a form', 'clicking submit', 'database', 'email' and lastly 'website'
She later refused to sign off the project claiming 'it didn't print' - after about twenty minutes of trying to work out the problem, she brought me one of the print outs she'd made to show me what was wrong with it.
She'd been asking people to go to the form, type all their information, print the page and fax it to her and because the page was too wide (and Internet Explorer doesn't have much in the way of printing skills) text was being chopped off the side of the page.
(Thu 1st Jan 2004, 19:10, More)