» Petty Sabotage

Sab life
This one still brings an evil grin to my face - even after 10 years.

Stood in Woolies with a mate - at about the age of 16, youthfull looking scallywags we were too. As I'm sure all of you of a non-colonial nature are aware all Woolies have a big pick and mix station near the cash registers.

A mum and kiddie wandering around looking at the plastic tat on sale - kiddie looking very bored. Cue me turning and saying to my mate in a fairly loud voice "You know, so long as you eat them in the shop, the pick and mix is free, you can have as many as you want."

The little glow of joy from the kiddies face was somethig to behold - mate and I departed to another bit of the shop to watch the young scamp start to fill his face with assorted chocolate goodness.

I couldn't have predicted that he and his Mum would be escorted from the shop? Could I?

His little cries of confusion as his Mum yeled at him still make me laugh today.

Pop, there goes another board virgin.
(Fri 6th May 2005, 14:26, More)

» That's when I knew it was over...

Should have cut to the chase a bit quicker realy
In a similar vein as many - she was mental. But did I end it when:-

She repeatedly faked pregnancey, followed by faked miscarrige and lots of attention in her multiple hours of need (she was sterilised before I meet her).

She ruined a mates party when someone had the audacity to turn up with their new kid, post recent faked pregnancey (at least she was consistant)

Called me back from work/going out with mates/anything else, in order to save her from (non) volent ex that was going to kill her again and again.

Lied about everything, to everyone that she was in contact with in order to gain sympathy for non-existant problems.

Behaved so badly in company that my mates refused to see me if she was around.

Made half arsed attempts at topping herself 3 or 4 times.

Discharged herself fro hospital with a brain hemorage after falling over in club - without telling me that she was doing so - wondered why the nurses were giveing me dirty looks when I picked her up - and had to carry her back (literally) when she keeled over later that night.

Spent money like it was going out of fashion, but couldn't manage to drag her arse off the sofa for 2 years.

No - didn't end it then, was trying to be a Dad to her 2 kids and all that.

When after a 3 hour one sided row at 3am she said "you don't have the knackers to leave me" - well turned out that I did.

Few months later and any remaining of her mates have noticed how mad she is and binned her company - she gets hitched to a new guy several years younger - heard the other week that they've just split up, good luck to him, he got out quicker than I did.

Think her mates read this, so please pass on my obvious regard to the lady in question.
(Thu 21st Jul 2005, 18:16, More)