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» The most cash I've ever carried

Eighty seven pounds and forty two pence
I had not long turned six and was counting up my birthday money. That year my relatives had decided not to waste their money on silly items that I would never use, and had all given me some money, which all amounted to the nice sum of 87.42.

With all this money, I decided that what I really wanted was a nice stereo. So, my mum takes me down to Commet and we have a look around.

Then I see it. The stereo that I wanted. Needed. It was tall, black and shiny. The edges were sleek and it had big shining buttons on the front. We get it and go to the counter to pay. I take my 87.42, which I had been clinging tightly to, out of my dungarees pocket but unfortunately, being only six, I was too small to reach the counter top. So my mum says she will pay. The transaction is completed nicely and I take home my brand new shiny stereo and still have 2.43 left over.

However, a week later as I'm struggling to take my sparkling stereo upstairs to my bedroom, from the living room where it had for some reason been placed when we got home, my mum stops me,
"What are you doing with that stereo?"
"I'm taking it to my bedroom."
"Why?"
"Because it's mine and I want to listen to it in my bedroom."
"Is it yours?"
"Yes I paid for it with my birthday money."
"It cost a lot of money, I don't think you did pay for it. I gave the man all that money, didn't I."

It stayed in the living room and I was most upset. My mum still claims that she paid for it, but I'll never forget what really happened,and when the time comes, I'm going to pick out the most hideous nursing home . . .
(Fri 23rd Jun 2006, 10:00, More)

» Crazy Relatives

Right . . .
My Mum used to sing to electrical appliances when I was younger, as apparently this made them work quicker. I grew up thinking that this was the norm and got some odd looks when, at my friends house, I suggested that we get her mother to sing to the VHS player as it wasn't working.

My Dad talks to himself. This on its own isn't that crazy, but he ends up arguing with himself and once got so angry with himself that he punched himself in the face.

My Dad's parents tried to kill me when I was a baby (by feeding me milk that was several days old and had been left outside)as they didn't approve of my parents getting together and of course the only logical thing to do was kill their offspring . . .

My Mum's parents are the ones that left the porn on in the house when we went to visit.

My Great Grandmother (on my Mum's side) once stopped us entering her house when we went to show her my younger brother a week or so after he'd been born as, according to her, "he's the spawn of Satan, that one".

And my brother thinks he's a God. He calls himself Treelord and has a hymn entitled 'Glen'.

I'm just waiting to see what my madness will be ... *twitch*.

(Link's sfw bytheway. Only links to previous QOTW)
(Fri 6th Jul 2007, 9:23, More)

» The most cash I've ever carried

When I was younger my parents took my brother and me to Blackpool,
one day when scrambling along the beach, my brother and I found a twenty pound note. We promtly ran off to the arcade and exchanged it for 1,000 two pence pieces. We hadn't been playing the machines long when we hit the jackpot, a fountain of two penny pieces flooded from the little machine. Ecstatic, we couldn't believe our good fortune and shovelled the coins into our pockets. We felt like billionaires as we wandered back to our hotel, big grins plastered on out faces and our trousers falling down from the weight in our pockets.
(Sat 24th Jun 2006, 0:14, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

I was sat doing some written exam a while back.
I'd got to that point where I just couldn't be bothered writing anymore. I put down my pen, stretched, and decided to distract myself by having a look at the graffiti scratched into the old desk. To my surprise, before me were comments such as:
"Good Luck!"
"It will be worth it all, now get back to that writing!"
and
"Don't worry; you DO know everything that you need for your exam."

I suddenly felt oddly optimistic and continued writing. Not particularly witty graffiti, but surreal nonetheless.
(Sun 6th May 2007, 20:29, More)

» Famous people I hate

Gok Wan chased me round a Nottingham branch of New Look once.
He was doing some publicity-type-thing for his new line of clothing and would pick a random person in the store and throw his clothes at them, all the while being followed by a psychotic hoard of admirers.

This was during a phase in my life where I was prone to panic attacks. I had absolutely no idea who he was and had only nipped in to get a pair of tights. All of a sudden I was surrounded by a screaming mass of people and Gok Wan was shoving coat-hangers in my face.

I managed to escape and went next door to Greggs, bought a bottle of Ribena and tried not to cry. After that first meeting with him, I'm not really a fan.
(Sun 7th Feb 2010, 13:09, More)
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