» Toilets

Falling in
I cant remember my exact age, but I was very young. I was at my grandmas, and went for a shit. I fell through the seat and got stuck in it, bent double. I started shouting for help, when I realised I had locked the door. My dad had to break the lock to rescue me.
(Sun 4th Sep 2005, 18:37, More)

» Work Experience

working in morrison's for £3.28 an hour
not too bad actually - i used to get stoned beforehand, hide in the racking in the warehouse, and munch out.
(Thu 10th May 2007, 18:03, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Weird and a cunt
My neighbour has 2 houses on my street, one behind us which he lives in, and another not far away. Anyway, this other house was where his mum and dad lived. They died years and years ago, but he and his wife still keep the house exactly as it was. They hoover and clean up most days, keeping it as some sort of twisted 'shrine' to his dead parents, even turning the lights on at night to deter would-be burglars. When there was a hosepipe ban, he used his lawn sprinklers at night. Weirdo

And he's a cunt, he built a fence next to ours a foot higher, our garden gets hardly any light now.

I get him back by slowly poisoning his beloved ivy with some hardcore weedkiller, and throwing my cat's shit over the fence with a spade.
(Sat 27th Aug 2005, 14:52, More)

» * PFFT *

I work as a waiter
and take pleasure in quietly farting near people when they are eating. Also farting near people in shops, pubs and clubs, quickly walking away and looking back to see their expression amuses me greatly.
(Sun 15th Jul 2007, 23:59, More)

» Housemates from hell

In Manchester I shared a house with 4 other lads
one of them was a scally from salford, studying criminology and breaking a multitude of laws most days. There was a guy who 'didn't like veg.' He had a receding hairline at age 21, and serious anger management issues. They were both dickheads who wrecked a party i took them to. The other two were from nottingham and played really loud, antisocial drum and bass from 9 in the morning til 2 in the morning. One of them was a bit christian, i loved winding him up and watching him try to justify how class As were compatible with catholicism. I didn't know any of them before i moved in, I only took the room in desperation because i had left it too late to find an alternative. Kids: Don't do this.
(Fri 6th Apr 2007, 16:05, More)