» Toilets

another one i've been told
by my boyfriend. One of these nice gig bogs related ones: me, my bofriend and some mates of ours went to see a gig last July in the National Bowl, Milton Keynes. In the afternoon everybody was very keen on going to the public toilets provided, but as time went on, after a fair amount of lagers we HAD to drink not to die of thirst - we were actually roasting - nobody could be arsed walking all the way up then down the hill surrounding the Bowl, to the loos that were on the other side of the hill. So we all started going in the wood - even the ladies - on top of the hill.
It was a pretty clean job to do in the beginning, but you could soon feel, almost see the wee-steam after a couple of hours.
You had to be careful not to stand in a turd either, which was quite tricky on that slipery slope.
So my bf went for a slash and came back laughing his arse off because he'd seen some poor bloke tripping over a tree root and slipping all the way down the slope head and hands first.
(Fri 2nd Sep 2005, 15:08, More)

» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

First!
Sorry, I have never worked in a kitchen or restaurant.

*hides tail between legs in shame*

Mod Edit: So the correct thing to do is...?

EDIT: No, hang on: I have a story!

***********

It's not me but a woman I used to live with/work for as an au pair who told me this: in her young years, she used to be an air stewardess and often had to deal with rude/aggressive/irritating passengers - as you do.
But one fine day, one of those horrible customers, a fat, greasy and dribbling bastard - one of those who pinch air stewardesses' arse and still think it's funny - who always found something to complain about, ordered a steak.
Of course the steak wasn't cooked to his expectations (on a plane) so he sent it back.
He eventually got what he wanted, or so he thought, and with a smile, but the chap might or might not have tasted something funny as the steak had been carefully and thoroughly wiped around the toilet seat prior to serving.
(Fri 21st Jul 2006, 10:15, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Two brothers on Christmas day, unwrapping presents.
Big brother opens his and gets a PSP, an Ipod, a new mobile and a Robosapiens V2. His younger brother opens his but only gets a book.
Big brother says "My presents are much better than yours, you little twat!"; to which little brother replies "They might be, but I haven't got leukemia!"

Sorry, I'm really bad at telling stories.
(Tue 6th Dec 2005, 16:17, More)

» Toilets

Mine
is rather embarrassing but very common... I'll tell it now before everyone posts their own similar one.
I blocked the toilets with a huge crap and all the bog roll I needed to wipe it off you see, in a tiny swiss chalet in the mountains, two years ago in New Year's Eve. I was there with some (good) friends of mine.
Unfortunately this happened late at night (or early in the morning) when we were all hammered so we decided to leave it till the morning.
Then of course the toilet and its content froze during the night, it was so bloody cold, so it's only after emptying half a bottle of anti-freezing liquid into the toilet and pumping the shit up forever that we finally managed to get it cleared out.
In the meanwhile we had to pee outside behind the chalet and two of my mates (girls) caught cystisis. Happy New Year...
(Fri 2nd Sep 2005, 11:39, More)

» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

I don't know if it counts,
but rather than telling the story, there is plenty to imagine about the following:

I once found not less than GINGER PUBES in my taboulé salad from Waitrose.

Thanks Jamie, you shouldn't have.
(Fri 21st Jul 2006, 11:18, More)