» Dumb things you've done

Dumb things I've thunk / said...
I have caught myself thinking that the beep that accompanies my low petrol light in my car is very helpful for blind people.

I'm lucky that I tend to only catch myself doing dumb stuff - I caught myself telling me off for talking to myself once. And caught myself telling myself off (while pretending to be the cat) for the state of the cat's food bowl.

What's really dumb is that now I'm publicising these dumb moments that are probably best left private...
(Mon 24th Dec 2007, 20:04, More)

» Terrible food

Bleurgh
I had to watch all kinds of chefs doing unmentionables into peoples food. If only you knew what we did to Blair's dinner. Mwahahahaha. Kid you not. Been police checked twice for the privilige...
(Sun 20th May 2007, 1:20, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Why???
I took physics at university. To rebel. WTF???
(Thu 19th Jul 2007, 16:57, More)

» When Animals Attack

Attacked by my cats fleas
ok, I'm not entirely sure if this counts...
I bought my flat a couple of years ago - one of the plus points about it was that it has its' own entrance, so I could get a cat. I could never imagine a life without one, so when the opportunity came up to have one, I signed up with the Cats Protection League. The lovely lady on the end of the phone said I'd be ideally suited to an "old lady cat" - an old cat who was happy with a quiet life, not a kitten, basically. Oddly enough, my mate phoned up the next day, to ask if I could take his 10 year old mog. "Fate" I thought to myself. So I took on who is now known as The Furry Menace. She has utterly taken over my life with her grumps and her general food-centric life. "What does this have to do with being attacked?" I hear you ask...
Well, within a couple of months of her residing in my lovely new flat, I noticed that the anti-flea-shit I was using REALLY wasn't working. They were jumping off her & all over me. I took her to the vet, who prescribed something for her, and a cannister of something that should have dealt with the living room which was now crawling with the evil bouncy fuckers. I couldn't sit on the sofa without checking the base of it every half hour & picking off the fleas & squishing the bastards between my nails. It got to the stage where I had to take up the carpets & install laminate flooring. That didn't work. I had to call the Rentokill man round. Twice. Night-fucking-mare. We finally managed to call the flat a flea free zone about 3 months later. On the upside, I did manage to embarrass the Rentokill man when he asked me if there was an "activity in the bedroom"... Happy days lol
(Sun 27th Apr 2008, 20:36, More)

» Insults

Your Dad's a Morris Dancer!
Was making small talk with someone I vaguely recognised in a pub on Friday night, when it finally hit me that his dad & my dad were Morris Men in the same side back when we were too young to know better.
So, I yelled at him "Your Dad's a Morris Dancer!". Everyone thought I was insulting him. Does that even count?

*Gets coat*
(Thu 4th Oct 2007, 20:16, More)