Dos!

Did they run msDos on submarines?
Now you can click on it for bigger and clearer!
(Thu 1st Feb 2007, 6:01, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Hilarity
Bottom of a stall door: "Beware of gay limbo dancers"

It was funny at the time.

On a corkboard in the work bathroom above the urinal: "Where's Waldo?"
To wich somebody added "Killed the Fucker"

On same corkboard is a V for Vendetta style V carved into it, and various employees calling various managers gay, three lines of "Painted Black" the list goes on, really.
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 21:34, More)

» Tales of the Unexplained

A couple of years ago
I was out of my province (I'm Canadian, incidentally) with my best friend and his family, staying in a nice little cabin. Well, everybody had a room to themselves except for me, I had a fold-out futon couch, in the living room area, which had windows all over (and I've never really liked unshuttered windows at night)

I slept well enough, occaisionally sharing my bed with their small dog, occaisionally having the thing to myself. Except one night, where I awoke, and the moon must have been full or something, for there was just enough light for me to make out a massive man-shaped shadow. At the foot of my bed.

Needless to say, I was scared shitless and spent the next four hours, terrified of sleeping, playing my friend's Gamecube on his TV.
Terrified, I played that Gamecube without moving for several hours, never once taking my eyes off that screen for fear I might see this visitor again.
My friend's mom eventually found me staring at the TV and she was able to convince me that sleep was, in fact, a good thing.
(Thu 3rd Jul 2008, 12:10, More)

» Messing with the Dark Side

Not so much the result of messing with the Dark Side...
But I was out on a trip with my friend and his parents at their cabin, way deep in the sticks.
And I was sleeping one night after an uneventful day.
I wake up an some godforsaken hour and I see this massive shadowy figure standing at the foot of my bed.
Scared the hell out of me.

Probably just some sleep-induced hallucination.
(Sat 22nd Apr 2006, 5:25, More)

» Kids

Way back...
When I was a young little turd, my mother used to make a little extra money babysitting some of the local neighborhood kids. One of these was the little brother of my best friend at the time.
Oh the stories I could tell. This kid had impressively high levels of stupidity.

Lets do this chronologically, shall we lads?

One of the first words he learned to say was "this". Which is all well and good, four letters is better than a lot of kids can manage. Only the other kids manage to work a few other words into their vocabulary. All he said when he was in my mother's care was "dis?" And he'd repeat it... over and over and over, the same tone and rising inflection. Dis? Dis? Dis? Dis? Dis? Slowly driving my young mind mad.

Fast forward a few years, he's now 6 or so and on his way to the toilet, only he doesn't quite make it. "Well fine," You say "not everybody got ahold of their innards by this point." Which I concede to be true. But this little boy's genius idea of cleaning his soiled undies consisted of peeing on them. While wearing them, in the middle of the bathroom floor. Cue much gagging of me and my friend, while my mother cleans up the resulting mess.

The last story I can remember at the moment, is one that isn't so uncommon I guess, at least in basic form and shape. Later in the year, after the bathroom incident...
His dad worked for a trainyard, and thus had an ample supply of those foam earplugs. Well our subject happened to get ahold of one, and the inevitable occured when it was passed on its merry way up his nose. So far that it couldn't be removed without surgery. But of course, surgery has a wait time, and meanwhile, things got infected, and flesh began to die. The smell that that child produced cannot be described in words, but even thinking about it, I catch the faint whiff of it, the smallest taste of that foul smell on the back of my tongue.
(Wed 23rd Apr 2008, 10:15, More)

» The most cash I've ever carried

Roughly 800 dollars
Canadian dollars, too.
Was using it to buy most of a new computer, with my dad chipping in the remainder, only problem was the computer shop was in a rather low-budget looking area downtown, and I was rather young and kept flashing my money around.

Luckily nothing terrible happened.
(Thu 22nd Jun 2006, 20:43, More)