Profile for bof:
Been around for a bleeding long time.
Used to be the Glasgow Kiss, but having met so many B3tan young bloods a couple of Christmases (sp?)ago decided to change my name to Bof... No it's not an abbreviation for boffin... I'm not the intelligent type....
It stands for Boring Old Fart...
OK?...
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- a member for 3 years, 8 months and 2 days
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Been around for a bleeding long time.
Used to be the Glasgow Kiss, but having met so many B3tan young bloods a couple of Christmases (sp?)ago decided to change my name to Bof... No it's not an abbreviation for boffin... I'm not the intelligent type....
It stands for Boring Old Fart...
OK?...
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Celebrities part II
Rhodes
A few years ago we were going round schools looking for a suitable place in which to put eldest male bofkin for his secondary eduction.
The group of parents we were in included one celebrity chef.. Gary Rhodes.
Towards the end, I couldn't resist it...
Me : "Hi.. I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your programmes"
He : "That's very nice of you"
Me : "It's a pleasure to have met you, Ainsley"
He : "..........." (silence)
I still titter about it....
(Thu 8th Oct 2009, 15:27, More)
Rhodes
A few years ago we were going round schools looking for a suitable place in which to put eldest male bofkin for his secondary eduction.
The group of parents we were in included one celebrity chef.. Gary Rhodes.
Towards the end, I couldn't resist it...
Me : "Hi.. I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your programmes"
He : "That's very nice of you"
Me : "It's a pleasure to have met you, Ainsley"
He : "..........." (silence)
I still titter about it....
(Thu 8th Oct 2009, 15:27, More)
» Lies I told on my CV
Not my cv but a candidate's...
Several years ago I had a programmer working for me at the Stock Exchange. He was a surly, baldy, syrup-wearing git. He left under very petulant, stampy-footy circumstances, but before he left, he buried unprintable characters in the code and prepared a timebomb in the system to kick in just before Christmas.
These were all found before his seat was cold because we had been monitoring his activity for two weeks before his departure.
Move forward a couple of years. I am working for a financial services company in Surrey. One of my colleagues is about to do an interview of this self-same individual.
Tipped off about past events, the guy asks lots of question about the Stock and finishes with "Why haven't you disclosed the events surrounding the sabotage of the systems at the Stock Exchange?"
Queue my entry with two security guards who politely escort him out of the building.
The moral of the story is "Don't fuck up your cv and don't fuck with me"
(Tue 11th Jul 2006, 16:03, More)
Not my cv but a candidate's...
Several years ago I had a programmer working for me at the Stock Exchange. He was a surly, baldy, syrup-wearing git. He left under very petulant, stampy-footy circumstances, but before he left, he buried unprintable characters in the code and prepared a timebomb in the system to kick in just before Christmas.
These were all found before his seat was cold because we had been monitoring his activity for two weeks before his departure.
Move forward a couple of years. I am working for a financial services company in Surrey. One of my colleagues is about to do an interview of this self-same individual.
Tipped off about past events, the guy asks lots of question about the Stock and finishes with "Why haven't you disclosed the events surrounding the sabotage of the systems at the Stock Exchange?"
Queue my entry with two security guards who politely escort him out of the building.
The moral of the story is "Don't fuck up your cv and don't fuck with me"
(Tue 11th Jul 2006, 16:03, More)
» Missing body parts
Cosmetic surgery
For many years I had been troubled by a growth. It wasn't troublesome or difficult to deal with in the early years, but as time went on it became more and more visible. It caused horrendous headaches and the concern that it raised meant that stress levels were astronomical. Life was becoming quite unbearable..
After dealing with it for 19 years... Yes, dear readers... 19 years... I had it removed... I divorced the cow last year!
(I am a long time lurker and felt this was just too good to share)
(Mon 5th Jun 2006, 15:08, More)
Cosmetic surgery
For many years I had been troubled by a growth. It wasn't troublesome or difficult to deal with in the early years, but as time went on it became more and more visible. It caused horrendous headaches and the concern that it raised meant that stress levels were astronomical. Life was becoming quite unbearable..
After dealing with it for 19 years... Yes, dear readers... 19 years... I had it removed... I divorced the cow last year!
(I am a long time lurker and felt this was just too good to share)
(Mon 5th Jun 2006, 15:08, More)
» The most childish thing you've done as an adult
I'm the hellova lot older now and it still makes me giggle...
Years ago I was a manager in an IT department for a major high street bank… I’d have been about 40 at the time.
One of my colleague managers was a complete and utter little shit with delusions of grandeur to such an extent that he even built his own little office using large 8 feet tall filing cabinets (Carter-Parrot).
Working late one evening, I went down to the floor he was located on. There was one further cabinet about 20 feet away, so I hatched my cunning plan.
I moved the cabinet down the corridor (it must have weighed almost half a ton as it was full of printouts and binders) and slid it very neatly into the gap that was the entrance to his “office”. The adrenaline must have been pumping!
The next morning in front of over 100 people (large open plan office) he arrived and walked up and down the corridor trying to figure out where his office had gone.
He screamed at a couple of very big guys who worked for him accusing them of having done it and ordered them to clear a way through for him. They refused, of course.
Because the fit was so perfect, there was no way to get leverage on the cabinet, so the little shit had to climb over the top and push the offending cabinet from behind to make the opening.
Needless to say 100 people pissing themselves at toys being thrown out of prams and the little fat git climbing over the cabinet did not do his credibility any good whatsoever.
The closest I ever came to wetting myself.
(There’s only one person who knows it was me… and she is in NZ (Hi Louise))
(and the best I ever did in COF was 6th place)
(Fri 18th Sep 2009, 14:13, More)
I'm the hellova lot older now and it still makes me giggle...
Years ago I was a manager in an IT department for a major high street bank… I’d have been about 40 at the time.
One of my colleague managers was a complete and utter little shit with delusions of grandeur to such an extent that he even built his own little office using large 8 feet tall filing cabinets (Carter-Parrot).
Working late one evening, I went down to the floor he was located on. There was one further cabinet about 20 feet away, so I hatched my cunning plan.
I moved the cabinet down the corridor (it must have weighed almost half a ton as it was full of printouts and binders) and slid it very neatly into the gap that was the entrance to his “office”. The adrenaline must have been pumping!
The next morning in front of over 100 people (large open plan office) he arrived and walked up and down the corridor trying to figure out where his office had gone.
He screamed at a couple of very big guys who worked for him accusing them of having done it and ordered them to clear a way through for him. They refused, of course.
Because the fit was so perfect, there was no way to get leverage on the cabinet, so the little shit had to climb over the top and push the offending cabinet from behind to make the opening.
Needless to say 100 people pissing themselves at toys being thrown out of prams and the little fat git climbing over the cabinet did not do his credibility any good whatsoever.
The closest I ever came to wetting myself.
(There’s only one person who knows it was me… and she is in NZ (Hi Louise))
(and the best I ever did in COF was 6th place)
(Fri 18th Sep 2009, 14:13, More)