Profile for hankoelspanko:
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- a member for 18 years, 0 months and 13 days
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- has posted 8 messages on the links board
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- has posted 5 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 34 pictures, 3 links, 0 talk posts, and 9 qotw answers.
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Recent front page messages:
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» Putting the Fun in Funeral
Star Wars
One of my friends from school died when we were around 17. Him being a bit of a star wars fan, he had previously requested for the theme tune to be played as the coffin was carried into the church.
The best part was when the vicar said "may the force be with you".
Nice one Dan. Classic
(Thu 11th May 2006, 17:39, More)
Star Wars
One of my friends from school died when we were around 17. Him being a bit of a star wars fan, he had previously requested for the theme tune to be played as the coffin was carried into the church.
The best part was when the vicar said "may the force be with you".
Nice one Dan. Classic
(Thu 11th May 2006, 17:39, More)
» I hurt my rude bits
my mate from uni
once inserted a hard boiled egg into his foreskin. didnt hurt but it was fucking funny
(Sat 15th Jul 2006, 13:45, More)
my mate from uni
once inserted a hard boiled egg into his foreskin. didnt hurt but it was fucking funny
(Sat 15th Jul 2006, 13:45, More)
» Well, that taught 'em
Full Fat
Fairy similar to the example question, but one of my housemates got fed up with people drinking his milk, so he got his girlfriend to wank him off into his 2pt of semi skimmed. The guys who had been drinking it weren't too happy.
(Tue 1st May 2007, 22:54, More)
Full Fat
Fairy similar to the example question, but one of my housemates got fed up with people drinking his milk, so he got his girlfriend to wank him off into his 2pt of semi skimmed. The guys who had been drinking it weren't too happy.
(Tue 1st May 2007, 22:54, More)
» The Worst Journey in the World
Simultaneous Expulsion of Faeces and Vomitus
In Thailand travelling with friends last year, we decided to get the bus from Bangkok down to Chumporn where we could jump on a ferry to dive on Koh Tao. This sounded like a great idea, except that it was an 8 hour overnight coach journey. Even worse were the stories (and posters) we had heard/seen telling of the gassing of passengers with sleeping gas on these coaches so that they could have their belongings stolen.
If anyone hasn't seen the style of toilet most favoured in Thailand, it is usually a toilet with no flush and a hose, or a toilet with no flush and a bucket. This coach was equipped with the latter.
We set off from Bangkok and the journey started off fine, and without incident. After about an hour I decided to go to the toilet and urinate. This was quite a hard task as:
1) The lock on the door didn’t work
2) There was no light
Therefore, pissing in a rank toilet with one hand on the door and one hand on my phone to try and illuminate the situation wasn't the easiest of tasks.
I then sat back down, and I noticed a nice young girl of about 20. She looked like death, and then asked me in broken English if I had any pain killers. I said no.
About half an hour later, she ran to the toilet which was opposite me. What then happened next will stay with me for the rest of my life.
The poor girl was sitting on the toilet, vomiting into the bucket used to flush the toilet when the door flew open. As the coach drove down the Thai motorways the streetlights intermittently lit up her semi-naked form retching into a bucket. Yuk.
(Fri 8th Sep 2006, 11:04, More)
Simultaneous Expulsion of Faeces and Vomitus
In Thailand travelling with friends last year, we decided to get the bus from Bangkok down to Chumporn where we could jump on a ferry to dive on Koh Tao. This sounded like a great idea, except that it was an 8 hour overnight coach journey. Even worse were the stories (and posters) we had heard/seen telling of the gassing of passengers with sleeping gas on these coaches so that they could have their belongings stolen.
If anyone hasn't seen the style of toilet most favoured in Thailand, it is usually a toilet with no flush and a hose, or a toilet with no flush and a bucket. This coach was equipped with the latter.
We set off from Bangkok and the journey started off fine, and without incident. After about an hour I decided to go to the toilet and urinate. This was quite a hard task as:
1) The lock on the door didn’t work
2) There was no light
Therefore, pissing in a rank toilet with one hand on the door and one hand on my phone to try and illuminate the situation wasn't the easiest of tasks.
I then sat back down, and I noticed a nice young girl of about 20. She looked like death, and then asked me in broken English if I had any pain killers. I said no.
About half an hour later, she ran to the toilet which was opposite me. What then happened next will stay with me for the rest of my life.
The poor girl was sitting on the toilet, vomiting into the bucket used to flush the toilet when the door flew open. As the coach drove down the Thai motorways the streetlights intermittently lit up her semi-naked form retching into a bucket. Yuk.
(Fri 8th Sep 2006, 11:04, More)
» DIY fashion
Golf Gloves
Anyone from Nottingham knows that usually down at market square there is a mixture of social cliques hanging around and doing the usual teenage thing. Some of the fashion ideas displayed are quite entertaining, but none more so than the group of charvers who decided that they would pre-empt the next fashion trend by wearing one golf glove on their left hands.
(Thu 24th Aug 2006, 15:03, More)
Golf Gloves
Anyone from Nottingham knows that usually down at market square there is a mixture of social cliques hanging around and doing the usual teenage thing. Some of the fashion ideas displayed are quite entertaining, but none more so than the group of charvers who decided that they would pre-empt the next fashion trend by wearing one golf glove on their left hands.
(Thu 24th Aug 2006, 15:03, More)