» Never Meet Your Heroes

met my hero billy sheehan at a steve vai gig
for those of you who dont know who steve vai, and billy sheehan are they are a couple of the most amazing technical musicians around.
vai plays guitar and billy plays bass, i am somewhat over occupied with billy sheehan and waited outside the stage door at nottinghams concert hall to meet him for several hours and did and he signed my sign and we had our photos taken, we didnt meet vai outside the stagedoor.
we went into the concert and steve vai came onstage and introduced each band member saving billy till last, so i stand up and wave my sign in the air turning it round to reveal the message on the back.
vai starts laughing and points into the crowd, he then reads out my sign which happened to read 'i love you billy' on one side and on the other 'make love to me billy' and thus i asked my hero for gay sex infront of a couple thousand people, good times, length girth, appologises
(Tue 30th May 2006, 13:09, More)

» Pointless Experiments

so you're 14, and you and your two best friends are bored of an afternoon in a small town
one of these friends is male, The other is female.
you and male friend both sorta fancy female friend and are both relatively sexually inexperieinced.
So being 14 and boobs being a relatively recent thing you decide a Threesome would be an excellent idea, after all these are you're best friend and one is a REAL girl.
This was not the glorious success i was hoping it would be, it was fuck off awkward, and watching your friend kiss the girl you are knuckle deep in is not attractive.

The experience taught me a couple of things, First of all Just before a period girls can get discharge (less than pleasant),
Secondly Threesomes are awkward.
And thirdly Having almost no sexual experience will not be helped by a fuck off awkward faux threesome.

I still speak to male best friend, Female best friend is best forgotten like the whole affair.
(Thu 31st Jul 2008, 0:05, More)

» Insults

Mum insults normally dont arent very good
On a harley rally in 2006 my friends jay and eadie and jays mother were packing things out of the car while i over heard:
Jay: Eadie, you need a shave.
Eadie: your mum needs a shave!
Jay's mum: Gee thanks eadie
(Thu 4th Oct 2007, 16:59, More)

» Pointless Experiments

what would jaegermeister and fruitshoot taste like?
sort of like a still pimms with mint
(Wed 30th Jul 2008, 14:08, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

not so much to shock as to entertain
aged 17 and following breaking up with a severly dull gf i decided i needed some excitement in my life and thus grabbing the £40 i had saved up to take her out i went into nottingham to do what any self-respecting teen would do, i got my foreskin pierced!
Which was both highly amusing as it is useful, it being a very good conversation starter!
about 15 minutes following the piercing i saw said Ex gf and showed her, she complained about me being an idiot and that i would get arrested for indecent exposure, im still waiting to be arrested and i like my genital piercings more than i ever liked her.
(Mon 23rd Jul 2007, 22:52, More)