Profile for derlin9753:
Hello , somebody told me about this website and I was shocked at how funny the posts are, so I'll give most things ago.
I was only given a W95 last year and at the moment I'm running this thing were by the fan is hanging outside of the computer and the side of the computer is exposed, but still it works.
My first posts were done by MS paint ,now I have downloaded Photoshop on a trail which is really hard to use, I am also going to use Gimp when photoshop runs out.
Remember please if you don't like anything I do that's fine but please don't get upset over grammar that really just pissers me off, just tick the ignore button ,better still just think how lucky, clever and better you are then me.
You can contact me on
skaterjunge1(AT)m s m(dot)com
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- a member for 17 years, 9 months and 7 days
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Hello , somebody told me about this website and I was shocked at how funny the posts are, so I'll give most things ago.
I was only given a W95 last year and at the moment I'm running this thing were by the fan is hanging outside of the computer and the side of the computer is exposed, but still it works.
My first posts were done by MS paint ,now I have downloaded Photoshop on a trail which is really hard to use, I am also going to use Gimp when photoshop runs out.
Remember please if you don't like anything I do that's fine but please don't get upset over grammar that really just pissers me off, just tick the ignore button ,better still just think how lucky, clever and better you are then me.
You can contact me on
skaterjunge1(AT)m s m(dot)com
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Political Correctness Gone Mad
Un-PC at Marks and Spencers
Whilst working in the warehouse in marks and spencers this nice looking woman asked me and a workmate if we could reach something for her as it was to high for her.
My workmate quickly runs over to help her out, while I say
"oh flick your eyes you can get us to do anything for you"
To which she replied " Yes I can get any man to do anything for me"
She was laughing at this point....
until I said
"yes that's because your not a ginger"
She replied "I find that deeply offensive,I got to little ginger boys"
I tried to get out of it by saying its only ginger girls I don't like,
I just can't even look her in the eyes anymore and feel real bad.
This is way PC exists to protect people from me
(Sun 25th Nov 2007, 16:37, More)
Un-PC at Marks and Spencers
Whilst working in the warehouse in marks and spencers this nice looking woman asked me and a workmate if we could reach something for her as it was to high for her.
My workmate quickly runs over to help her out, while I say
"oh flick your eyes you can get us to do anything for you"
To which she replied " Yes I can get any man to do anything for me"
She was laughing at this point....
until I said
"yes that's because your not a ginger"
She replied "I find that deeply offensive,I got to little ginger boys"
I tried to get out of it by saying its only ginger girls I don't like,
I just can't even look her in the eyes anymore and feel real bad.
This is way PC exists to protect people from me
(Sun 25th Nov 2007, 16:37, More)
» Picky Eaters
Own fork and Own plate
My friend nudge,nudge,wink,wink sfrom the age of 9 has only eat of his own plate and used his own fork and still does it to this day, he will not use any one eles stuff...now a few people know about this and there has been some cringe worthy moments...
1) It's the marks and spencers christmas dinner and everyone is enjoying themselves and the music is blasting but he can't go coz he needs to eat and can't just go in there and eat the sandwishes like he normally does ,so off he goes to the local ikea and sits on his own eating hotdogs while his workmates are shoving deluxe christmas dinner down their throuts.
2)We stay at some friends anties house and we go to the chippy and we have to say to this anty "don't forget to get a plastic fork","why"? she asked. so we had to tell her, about the freak eater who was sat outside on the wall.The freakie eater got some looks from fellow chippy customers.
3)The fork has been dropped into the sink ,so there fore it has become infected and the shops are closed so he can't go and buy any plastic forks so he has to use his hands.
4)It's christmas dinner time at the family home and all the diner is laid out all over the table and he has forget to bring his magical plate he ends up putting a birds eye turkey diner in the oven and eating off that with a plastic fork much to the amusement of all the little oneslooking on.
It's me, It's me ,It's me ,I admit to it all ,I even get a buzz going into my local chippy and asking for a BIG PLASTIC FORK
(Mon 5th Mar 2007, 16:17, More)
Own fork and Own plate
My friend nudge,nudge,wink,wink sfrom the age of 9 has only eat of his own plate and used his own fork and still does it to this day, he will not use any one eles stuff...now a few people know about this and there has been some cringe worthy moments...
1) It's the marks and spencers christmas dinner and everyone is enjoying themselves and the music is blasting but he can't go coz he needs to eat and can't just go in there and eat the sandwishes like he normally does ,so off he goes to the local ikea and sits on his own eating hotdogs while his workmates are shoving deluxe christmas dinner down their throuts.
2)We stay at some friends anties house and we go to the chippy and we have to say to this anty "don't forget to get a plastic fork","why"? she asked. so we had to tell her, about the freak eater who was sat outside on the wall.The freakie eater got some looks from fellow chippy customers.
3)The fork has been dropped into the sink ,so there fore it has become infected and the shops are closed so he can't go and buy any plastic forks so he has to use his hands.
4)It's christmas dinner time at the family home and all the diner is laid out all over the table and he has forget to bring his magical plate he ends up putting a birds eye turkey diner in the oven and eating off that with a plastic fork much to the amusement of all the little oneslooking on.
It's me, It's me ,It's me ,I admit to it all ,I even get a buzz going into my local chippy and asking for a BIG PLASTIC FORK
(Mon 5th Mar 2007, 16:17, More)
» Bastard Colleagues
Bastard colleagues
One Bastard colleague that I'll refer to as bastard-prick-colleague that we used to work with was one of those bastard colleagues that got all the way to the high ranks of assistant trainee supervisor.
Now there used to this girl who was doing the rounds with all the guys in work, she did bastard-prick-colleague and she bought him a teddybear as some sort of present for all the stupid presents he may have bought her.
After a very short while his time with her was up as she moved onto her next victim, so she ditched bastard-prick-colleague for my mate.
On hearing this his reaction was to get pissed and drive his new car around to her parents house,so in a drunken rage he set fire to the teddy bear and throw it into her garden and drove home as fast as possible still pissed.
So my mates doing her now and bastard-prick-colleague is still assistant trainee supervisor and my friend is just a simple shelf stacker, taking shit off him everyday because he says he took his girl away from him, although the girl in question was just doing the rounds.
well he also starts on me as he knows were friends, so we decide to plot his downfall like one example was to...
1) shit in a paper bag
2) place paper bag on his doorstep
3) set fire to it
4) run like the wind
....and hope he would answer the door and in doing so stamp the fire out and get his shoes covered in shit
Anther idea was to get his new beloved new car... by putting turps on the bonnet,nails in tyres some even talked about brake fluid pipes but most of all it was just talk about how we could get revenge but never really doing it,the best we could do was to spread the teddy bear story around so everyone knew about his burning teddies obsession.
There was also a few love letters we got hold of that he had sent to her " I don't care if you love someone else, I'll drive you around anywhere you want to go" there was a time when I thought about photocopying these and placing then around the store
However time passed and princess Di died and my best mate left but he was still a bastard-prick-colleague but no longer with us old sweats, just with the no starters.
Well after 5 years I hadn't forgot and a window of oppunity shone in my direction, my time had come it was now or never as the stoneroses classic "this is the one" rang in my ear.
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
She's waited for
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
Oh this is the one
This is the one
She's waited for
I'd like to leave the country
For a month of Sundays
Burn the town where I was born
I had spotted he had left in a handover book a message for a manager about a higher deputy store manager just slagging him off calling him a stupid little man etc etc etc
So to exact revenge I photocopied the letter making many copies and placed them around the store,even in the staff canteen,pride of place went to the one I placed on the deputy managers office.
well the shit hit the fan and bastard-prick was forced to leave he ended up working in lidle which is revenge enough but I never did get the ultimate revenge that of telling him "I did it"
(Tue 29th Jan 2008, 21:23, More)
Bastard colleagues
One Bastard colleague that I'll refer to as bastard-prick-colleague that we used to work with was one of those bastard colleagues that got all the way to the high ranks of assistant trainee supervisor.
Now there used to this girl who was doing the rounds with all the guys in work, she did bastard-prick-colleague and she bought him a teddybear as some sort of present for all the stupid presents he may have bought her.
After a very short while his time with her was up as she moved onto her next victim, so she ditched bastard-prick-colleague for my mate.
On hearing this his reaction was to get pissed and drive his new car around to her parents house,so in a drunken rage he set fire to the teddy bear and throw it into her garden and drove home as fast as possible still pissed.
So my mates doing her now and bastard-prick-colleague is still assistant trainee supervisor and my friend is just a simple shelf stacker, taking shit off him everyday because he says he took his girl away from him, although the girl in question was just doing the rounds.
well he also starts on me as he knows were friends, so we decide to plot his downfall like one example was to...
1) shit in a paper bag
2) place paper bag on his doorstep
3) set fire to it
4) run like the wind
....and hope he would answer the door and in doing so stamp the fire out and get his shoes covered in shit
Anther idea was to get his new beloved new car... by putting turps on the bonnet,nails in tyres some even talked about brake fluid pipes but most of all it was just talk about how we could get revenge but never really doing it,the best we could do was to spread the teddy bear story around so everyone knew about his burning teddies obsession.
There was also a few love letters we got hold of that he had sent to her " I don't care if you love someone else, I'll drive you around anywhere you want to go" there was a time when I thought about photocopying these and placing then around the store
However time passed and princess Di died and my best mate left but he was still a bastard-prick-colleague but no longer with us old sweats, just with the no starters.
Well after 5 years I hadn't forgot and a window of oppunity shone in my direction, my time had come it was now or never as the stoneroses classic "this is the one" rang in my ear.
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
She's waited for
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
Oh this is the one
This is the one
She's waited for
I'd like to leave the country
For a month of Sundays
Burn the town where I was born
I had spotted he had left in a handover book a message for a manager about a higher deputy store manager just slagging him off calling him a stupid little man etc etc etc
So to exact revenge I photocopied the letter making many copies and placed them around the store,even in the staff canteen,pride of place went to the one I placed on the deputy managers office.
well the shit hit the fan and bastard-prick was forced to leave he ended up working in lidle which is revenge enough but I never did get the ultimate revenge that of telling him "I did it"
(Tue 29th Jan 2008, 21:23, More)
» Rubbish Towns
Runcorn.......New Town
This from runcorns local paper
HALTON Lea shopping centre, once the flagship of Runcorn New Town, has been put into receivership.
Then it quotes "It was absolutely gorgeous when it opened". and my favorite line “You could buy a man a shirt".
images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.runcornandwidnesworld.co.uk/resources/images/1047782/%3Ftype%3Ddisplay&imgrefurl=http://www.runcornandwidnesworld.co.uk/news/4643588._Business_as_usual__at_Runcorn_s_Halton_Lea_shopping_centre___say_receivers/&usg=__jMMsWabmEHv6o9f_GhNFIXsltAk=&h=468&w=310&sz=24&hl=en&start=48&um=1&tbnid=lCvJtsf2AdOauM:&tbnh=128&tbnw=85&prev=/images%3Fq%3DRUNCORN%2BSHOPPING%2BCENTRE%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN%26start%3D36%26um%3D1
farm4.static.flickr.com/3171/2610595250_3124b4cb8e.jpg
(Sat 31st Oct 2009, 15:49, More)
Runcorn.......New Town
This from runcorns local paper
HALTON Lea shopping centre, once the flagship of Runcorn New Town, has been put into receivership.
Then it quotes "It was absolutely gorgeous when it opened". and my favorite line “You could buy a man a shirt".
images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.runcornandwidnesworld.co.uk/resources/images/1047782/%3Ftype%3Ddisplay&imgrefurl=http://www.runcornandwidnesworld.co.uk/news/4643588._Business_as_usual__at_Runcorn_s_Halton_Lea_shopping_centre___say_receivers/&usg=__jMMsWabmEHv6o9f_GhNFIXsltAk=&h=468&w=310&sz=24&hl=en&start=48&um=1&tbnid=lCvJtsf2AdOauM:&tbnh=128&tbnw=85&prev=/images%3Fq%3DRUNCORN%2BSHOPPING%2BCENTRE%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN%26start%3D36%26um%3D1
farm4.static.flickr.com/3171/2610595250_3124b4cb8e.jpg
(Sat 31st Oct 2009, 15:49, More)