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- a member for 17 years, 8 months and 1 day
- has posted 33 messages on the main board
- has posted 33 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 12 stories and 1 replies on question of the week
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» Good Advice
Say What
I was walking with a friend and spied a human-sized turd (not the size of a human) and prodly suggested "Mind the Crap!", a line I had been eager to say for some time.
Apparantly he hadnt seen the turd and turns to me and asks "What did you say" while continuing to walk.
I saw the whole thing in slow motion; the crap wrapped around his shoe like a fat brown sloth administering a hug and his foot sank deep into it.
time immediately speeds up and all of a sudden he is hopping around, screaming, slapping his foot on the ground.
I cant help but to laugh at him.
It reminds me of that scene in teh matrix with the vase
(Wed 26th May 2010, 20:36, More)
Say What
I was walking with a friend and spied a human-sized turd (not the size of a human) and prodly suggested "Mind the Crap!", a line I had been eager to say for some time.
Apparantly he hadnt seen the turd and turns to me and asks "What did you say" while continuing to walk.
I saw the whole thing in slow motion; the crap wrapped around his shoe like a fat brown sloth administering a hug and his foot sank deep into it.
time immediately speeds up and all of a sudden he is hopping around, screaming, slapping his foot on the ground.
I cant help but to laugh at him.
It reminds me of that scene in teh matrix with the vase
(Wed 26th May 2010, 20:36, More)
» Churches, temples and holy places
2 Gospels Voice of God
1)I went to a Synagogue with an Ark (where they keep the Torah Scrolls) with some illuminated glass panels. Behind the ark was a passage with the switch for the lights behind the panel. A little kid wanders into the sanctuary during an event elsewhere in the building (normal sanctuary lights are off) and I flicker the lights and bellow "I AM GOD". Little kid runs away.
2) I was walking by a church and there were some nuns outside. I stopped and shouted "I've got it!". The nuns turn and stare at me and I shout "It's the Church of the Epiphany!" and run off.
(Fri 2nd Sep 2011, 5:10, More)
2 Gospels Voice of God
1)I went to a Synagogue with an Ark (where they keep the Torah Scrolls) with some illuminated glass panels. Behind the ark was a passage with the switch for the lights behind the panel. A little kid wanders into the sanctuary during an event elsewhere in the building (normal sanctuary lights are off) and I flicker the lights and bellow "I AM GOD". Little kid runs away.
2) I was walking by a church and there were some nuns outside. I stopped and shouted "I've got it!". The nuns turn and stare at me and I shout "It's the Church of the Epiphany!" and run off.
(Fri 2nd Sep 2011, 5:10, More)
» Stalked
My creepy friend
I had a friend who, every day at school went up to the pretty girl (when she was alone-ish and said "hello Julia, How are you doing today?" in the most calm stalker voice imaginable.
He kept this up for most of the year. One day when everyone was in the lunchroom, Julia walks in and he says "Hey Julia! How are you doing today?".
Now since he had been doing this for most of the year, she screams and shakes her arms like a retarded monkey having a seizure and then runs out of the lunchroom.
Everyone then just starts laughing because they didnt know how much my friend was creeping this girl out.
They found her the next morning, wrists slashed. written in blood on her wall was the words "fine, thank you"
(Wed 6th Feb 2008, 15:53, More)
My creepy friend
I had a friend who, every day at school went up to the pretty girl (when she was alone-ish and said "hello Julia, How are you doing today?" in the most calm stalker voice imaginable.
He kept this up for most of the year. One day when everyone was in the lunchroom, Julia walks in and he says "Hey Julia! How are you doing today?".
Now since he had been doing this for most of the year, she screams and shakes her arms like a retarded monkey having a seizure and then runs out of the lunchroom.
Everyone then just starts laughing because they didnt know how much my friend was creeping this girl out.
They found her the next morning, wrists slashed. written in blood on her wall was the words "fine, thank you"
(Wed 6th Feb 2008, 15:53, More)