» Too much information

Here's one for the masses.
I have pulled out a constipated poo because it got stuck half-way out.
(Thu 6th Sep 2007, 19:51, More)

» Faking it

Faking the ultimate fake (Warning, not so ultimate)
My brother is a the best of times, an arse.

I enjoy winding him up and then some, (It's the only way I can get any fun) he's very naive too.

Sometimes I also try to rope his mates in on the whole fake thing.

But to my brother, I've had several girlfriends that never existed, had several jobs when in truth I've only ever had one, and I failed... miserably. I'm also a total hardnut in his eyes, this is where the story begins.

During his first year at secondary school I was in year 10, and some second year kids had started to bully him, doing the older brother thing, I went to have a "word" with them.

They never spoke to him again, and instead ran away from him, he thinks I beat the shit out of them. What really happened is I told them they shouldn't pick on him as he's schizo and carries a knife with him.

He still believes that I beat them up and they leave him alone because of me.

Length, it's about 12 inches and serrated.
(Tue 15th Jul 2008, 17:46, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

I got hit by a car riding my bike.
The driver just shouted at me out of the window calling me a useless cunt for being in the road (I had done nothing wrong, he actually drove into me).

However a rather nice lady was walking past, and she started raving at this guy from the pavement (She'd seen the whole thing) he shut up, and then she picked me up as I was having that grey pain where everything goes numb, asked if I was ok.

To which I said that I couldn't feel my arm properly, she then walked me to the hospital (It was just round the corner) and waited with me until I could get seen by a nurse.

Thankyou kind lady, I hope you hated that cunty driver as much as I did.
(Thu 2nd Oct 2008, 20:37, More)

» Ripped Off

I ripped off a load of chavs once
My mate told them I was a big time weed dealer, they came up to me asking me to get them all tunths, a couple of days later, I came in with some Moss in a bag, they paid me well for it, I asked them how it was the next day, they all said they got completely fucked off it, good £20 for scraping up the moss in my garden.
(Sat 17th Feb 2007, 23:08, More)

» I'm going to Hell...

For many Reasons
Listening to Black Metal, denouncing faith, "converting" Christians to Atheism.

Though, turning school into a satanic worship site on the 6th of June 2006 was always fun (yes. I'm a young 'un, don't hurt me)

Eating the bibles we got given, and burning one too. Also giving the Christians ladybird a Viking funeral.
(Tue 16th Dec 2008, 21:02, More)