Profile for Pedantichrist:
My new project
The Placenta post on my log blog.
I just discovered flickr!
Please check out my, generally a bit poncy, photographs here:
www.flickr.com/photos/lord-manley/
http://havingapoo.blogspot.com/
Made by Happy Toast:
Made by DownOnTheFarm:
Made by kingsuperspecial:
Made by Verity:
Made by OneOfSome:
CFB
Made by Dr Mexico:
Made by ElRodente:
Made by -D-:
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
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- a member for 3 years, 2 months and 9 days
- has posted 25405 messages on the main board
- (of which 3 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 122 messages on the talk board
- has posted 705 messages on the links board
- (including 176 links)
- has posted 9 stories and 12 replies on question of the week
- They liked 1380 pictures, 89 links, 9 talk posts, and 34 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
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My new project
The Placenta post on my log blog.
I just discovered flickr!
Please check out my, generally a bit poncy, photographs here:
www.flickr.com/photos/lord-manley/
http://havingapoo.blogspot.com/
Made by Happy Toast:
Made by DownOnTheFarm:
Made by kingsuperspecial:
Made by Verity:
Made by OneOfSome:
CFB
Made by Dr Mexico:
Made by ElRodente:
Made by -D-:
Recent front page messages:
You'll like this. Not a lot.
Click for full image. . .
spinning,
Gnops
(Sun 19th Nov 2006, 22:38, More)
Click for full image. . .
spinning,
Gnops
(Sun 19th Nov 2006, 22:38, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Evil Pranks
Bit of a pearoast, but . . .
Got a bloke drunk and bet him that he could not fit both of his testicles into a standard sized Marmite jar.
This is a relatively easy feat: one simply pops them in, one at a time.
Unfortunately there isn't room for both a brace of plums and a digit, negating the chances of removing said testicles.
Nothing makes Lord Manley happier than watching a grown man's face as he holds a claw hammer and contemplates smashing the glass jar which houses his gonads.
Click for tutorial (NSFWish)
(Sun 16th Dec 2007, 14:37, More)
Bit of a pearoast, but . . .
Got a bloke drunk and bet him that he could not fit both of his testicles into a standard sized Marmite jar.
This is a relatively easy feat: one simply pops them in, one at a time.
Unfortunately there isn't room for both a brace of plums and a digit, negating the chances of removing said testicles.
Nothing makes Lord Manley happier than watching a grown man's face as he holds a claw hammer and contemplates smashing the glass jar which houses his gonads.
Click for tutorial (NSFWish)
(Sun 16th Dec 2007, 14:37, More)
» Political Correctness Gone Mad
My mother is a bit duff.
She was a hole in the heart baby and, as a result, had a triscupid heart valve replacement and has subsequently had to have these re-installed, so that she has 6 nylon valves, in addition to her working 1. This means her heart is enormous and her lungs crushed and tiny as a result.
We had great fun as kids calling her Darth Vader because of her wheeze and then Dracula because, well, she's got a hole in her heart.
Anyway, part of being a raspberry is that she is susceptible to everything. As well as having the occasional heart attack, she has chicken pox every time she looks wrong at a hen, falls down with flu, had meningitis's badly enough to keep her housebound for years and has a catastrophic kidney failure.
When her kidney gave out I hitched down from Dundee (to be told, upon my arrival at the RDE in Exeter, that I shouldn't be there with holes in my jeans - the old lady in the next bed whispered conspiratorially that she'd looked and my knees were clean under the tears) and, after a small shock when I came back to the loo to find an empty bed, Mother was released back into the wild.
We went for a day out in Barnstaple (horrid place) where I enjoyed a day of kicking the stick out from under my old mum, in order to raise her spirits. Finally she had enough and waved her stick at me, exclaiming that 'If you do that one one more time I'll whack you one', upon which she put her stick back down on a storm drain, it slipped between the bars and she went down on the road like a sack of the proverbial.
Her winded state meant that it was touch and go whether she'd be able to call the mob off before they killed the 19 year old punk who was lying in the road laughing so hard at the fallen cripple that he was unable to stand.
(Tue 27th Nov 2007, 9:48, More)
My mother is a bit duff.
She was a hole in the heart baby and, as a result, had a triscupid heart valve replacement and has subsequently had to have these re-installed, so that she has 6 nylon valves, in addition to her working 1. This means her heart is enormous and her lungs crushed and tiny as a result.
We had great fun as kids calling her Darth Vader because of her wheeze and then Dracula because, well, she's got a hole in her heart.
Anyway, part of being a raspberry is that she is susceptible to everything. As well as having the occasional heart attack, she has chicken pox every time she looks wrong at a hen, falls down with flu, had meningitis's badly enough to keep her housebound for years and has a catastrophic kidney failure.
When her kidney gave out I hitched down from Dundee (to be told, upon my arrival at the RDE in Exeter, that I shouldn't be there with holes in my jeans - the old lady in the next bed whispered conspiratorially that she'd looked and my knees were clean under the tears) and, after a small shock when I came back to the loo to find an empty bed, Mother was released back into the wild.
We went for a day out in Barnstaple (horrid place) where I enjoyed a day of kicking the stick out from under my old mum, in order to raise her spirits. Finally she had enough and waved her stick at me, exclaiming that 'If you do that one one more time I'll whack you one', upon which she put her stick back down on a storm drain, it slipped between the bars and she went down on the road like a sack of the proverbial.
Her winded state meant that it was touch and go whether she'd be able to call the mob off before they killed the 19 year old punk who was lying in the road laughing so hard at the fallen cripple that he was unable to stand.
(Tue 27th Nov 2007, 9:48, More)
» Evil Pranks
One week before my wedding
I sent a text message to my wife's best friend:
"I think we should talk. I need to know I am not making a massive mistake. I must know that there is no chance for us, before it is too late."
I then passed the (shared) telephone to my wife whenever she called, with a comment along the lines of 'Oh, Jim's here, you'd better talk to her'.
Eventually she called me on the Thursday when I was at the reception venue delivering the cake.
"Hi, Manley, do we need to talk?"
I managed about 30 seconds with Matthewparker, my best man, pulling stupid faces before I broke down into laughter.
It was cruel in hindsight, but at least I know that Charlie can keep a secret, eh? My only regret is that it didn't go into church. I'd love to have watched her face at the 'Speak now or forever hold your peace' juncture.
(Sat 15th Dec 2007, 14:51, More)
One week before my wedding
I sent a text message to my wife's best friend:
"I think we should talk. I need to know I am not making a massive mistake. I must know that there is no chance for us, before it is too late."
I then passed the (shared) telephone to my wife whenever she called, with a comment along the lines of 'Oh, Jim's here, you'd better talk to her'.
Eventually she called me on the Thursday when I was at the reception venue delivering the cake.
"Hi, Manley, do we need to talk?"
I managed about 30 seconds with Matthewparker, my best man, pulling stupid faces before I broke down into laughter.
It was cruel in hindsight, but at least I know that Charlie can keep a secret, eh? My only regret is that it didn't go into church. I'd love to have watched her face at the 'Speak now or forever hold your peace' juncture.
(Sat 15th Dec 2007, 14:51, More)
» Bastard Colleagues
Campanology Thursdays.
In my office I am the comedian, the drunk, there are two of us who ring bells and one brown nosing fucker who has no mates, looks like Mr Majeika and sports a monk's haircut, but we have no women at all.
(Tue 29th Jan 2008, 21:55, More)
Campanology Thursdays.
In my office I am the comedian, the drunk, there are two of us who ring bells and one brown nosing fucker who has no mates, looks like Mr Majeika and sports a monk's haircut, but we have no women at all.
(Tue 29th Jan 2008, 21:55, More)
» My first experience of porn
My Uncle Tym writes Firkin the Cat for Fiesta,
amongst many other things.
Small children like cartoons.
Young writers are proud of their work.
My mother threw out my father's stash.
My sister wasn't born, so I really was very you ng when I asked my mother why the lady had no clothes on. I still enjoy Firkin though and Tym did send us a shit load of porn when I was in Bosnia, so nothing lost really.
(Sun 28th Jan 2007, 13:54, More)
My Uncle Tym writes Firkin the Cat for Fiesta,
amongst many other things.
Small children like cartoons.
Young writers are proud of their work.
My mother threw out my father's stash.
My sister wasn't born, so I really was very you ng when I asked my mother why the lady had no clothes on. I still enjoy Firkin though and Tym did send us a shit load of porn when I was in Bosnia, so nothing lost really.
(Sun 28th Jan 2007, 13:54, More)