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- a member for 17 years, 2 months and 2 days
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» The worst sex I ever had
One evening..
.. as we were leaving a tea room and heading home, my girlfriend and I both suddenly felt a strong desire to have sex - no matter where, no matter how.
That's why five minutes later we found ourselves on the highest floor of a strange building, lying on some steps (me pants down, my girlfriend pleasing me orally.)
As I was sitting right en face the elevator, terrified that in no time the little light is going to go red and we'd be caught, I naturally couldn't concentrate well on the sex thing.
After approx. ten minutes, more petrifying than anything else, the elevator light really did go red - somebody was taking the elevator. We froze, praying that they would get off on another floor. However, the elevator went all the way up to our floor, where an elderly pair with some shopping bags and three big packs of toilet paper stepped out, just as I had enough time and sense to at least pull up my pants.
"What are you doing here?"
"Ummm... waiting?" *guilty stare, pants unbuttoned*
"Who are you waiting for?"
"Ummm... your neighbor?"
"Oh really? In that case let's ask her!"
(ring... ring..)
"Hello?"
"Sorry, do you know these people?"
"No, certainly not."
*Embarrassed looks from every party*
I presume we didn't look dangrous, though, because we eventually got escorted by the man - me, my girlfriend, him and that toilet paper, all attempting small talk in the tiny elevator.
(Length? Those endless minutes from the eighth floor to ground zero.)
(Sat 16th Jun 2007, 10:13, More)
One evening..
.. as we were leaving a tea room and heading home, my girlfriend and I both suddenly felt a strong desire to have sex - no matter where, no matter how.
That's why five minutes later we found ourselves on the highest floor of a strange building, lying on some steps (me pants down, my girlfriend pleasing me orally.)
As I was sitting right en face the elevator, terrified that in no time the little light is going to go red and we'd be caught, I naturally couldn't concentrate well on the sex thing.
After approx. ten minutes, more petrifying than anything else, the elevator light really did go red - somebody was taking the elevator. We froze, praying that they would get off on another floor. However, the elevator went all the way up to our floor, where an elderly pair with some shopping bags and three big packs of toilet paper stepped out, just as I had enough time and sense to at least pull up my pants.
"What are you doing here?"
"Ummm... waiting?" *guilty stare, pants unbuttoned*
"Who are you waiting for?"
"Ummm... your neighbor?"
"Oh really? In that case let's ask her!"
(ring... ring..)
"Hello?"
"Sorry, do you know these people?"
"No, certainly not."
*Embarrassed looks from every party*
I presume we didn't look dangrous, though, because we eventually got escorted by the man - me, my girlfriend, him and that toilet paper, all attempting small talk in the tiny elevator.
(Length? Those endless minutes from the eighth floor to ground zero.)
(Sat 16th Jun 2007, 10:13, More)
» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade
I teach English..
.. my dirty secret is that I never tell students when I'm wrong.
I'm so wicked.
(Fri 28th Sep 2007, 23:21, More)
I teach English..
.. my dirty secret is that I never tell students when I'm wrong.
I'm so wicked.
(Fri 28th Sep 2007, 23:21, More)
» Personal Ads
I once saw an ad...
"Looking for a woman who would bathe with me with our clothes on."
(Well, it's not dirty, but it's definetly very scary.)
(Thu 13th Sep 2007, 22:16, More)
I once saw an ad...
"Looking for a woman who would bathe with me with our clothes on."
(Well, it's not dirty, but it's definetly very scary.)
(Thu 13th Sep 2007, 22:16, More)
» Best Graffiti Ever
On a slanted wall near a tunnel exit -
somebody painted in big white letters just one word: NO.
a concise summary of the official negativism doctrine?
(Sun 6th May 2007, 15:09, More)
On a slanted wall near a tunnel exit -
somebody painted in big white letters just one word: NO.
a concise summary of the official negativism doctrine?
(Sun 6th May 2007, 15:09, More)