» Strict Parents

Banned from scatter cushions...
Being much younger than my brothers (they all left home when I was 5) meant that I had to play on my own. One day when I was about 7, I was pretending to be a cat, creeping around the house, stalking imaginary prey. I finally pounced, killed and ate my imaginary rat (i.e. jumped on and wrestled with a cushion then stuffed it under my jumper). I then went to sit in front of the electric fire for a sleep (still in cat-mode). My mother came in to the lounge, saw me lying on the floor and went ballistic. Shaking all over; her red face inches from mine, 'You're pretending to have a baby aren't you. You're giving birth aren't you. Give me that cushion; give me that cushion; don't you dare play this again. You are not having cushions again'(slap). Despite protesting that I was pretending to be a cat. I was not allowed near a cushion for a long, long time.
(Sat 10th Mar 2007, 14:40, More)

» Tightwads

Back in the day......story number 2
When my parents had economy 7 heating installed, my father made sure that I wouldn't know how to override the hot water controls by hiding the switch. If I wanted a bath or shower after 8am in the morning, I had to say 'dad, can I have a bath/shower in an hour please?' I was then told to stand in my bedroom so I could not see where my father was going, where the override switch was or how to use it.....
(Sun 26th Oct 2008, 9:20, More)

» Tightwads

Back in the day...story number 1
My father used to go to bed earlier than my mum (I have never known her to sleep before midnight). Before he ascended the stairs, he removed selected fuses from the fusebox, and took them to bed with him so that my mother and my brothers wouldn't use any electricity after he had gone to bed.

One of many acts of thriftyness that will not be adopted by the martin's moneysaving website....
(Thu 23rd Oct 2008, 20:04, More)

» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.

not loved but bloody essential
I split up from my ex and moved to my parents. I didn't want to, but lack of cash and the prospect of commiting suicide if I stayed with the selfish tnuc forced me to.

All my possessions were in black bin bags in the spare room; clothes, books, bedding etc. My work clothes and pyjamas were the only items I kept in my room. One day the bags had disappeared. I asked my father where they had gone, and during the ad break for coronation street I got a 'shhh now, go and ask your mother, I'm watching tv'. My mother told me the truth; she had put some old clothes in some carrier bags and also put them in the spare room. She had asked my father the day before to take the old clothes to the recycling depot. When he asked were the clothes were, she replied they are all in bags in the spare room. My father took her at her word. All bags were removed, put into the car and driven three miles away to the depot. Her rags, my coats, my suits, my dresses, my shoes, my bags, my books in fact 99% of everything I had. All I had left the clothes I had on, two skirts for work, a few bits of underwear and a blouse.

All I ever had as an apology from my father was a £10 M&S gift voucher. He asked me when my birthday was, I said it was the next day, so he told me he'd bought a voucher for me. My mother said that I should be pleased as he had remembered my birthday and had gone all the way into the town centre to buy it.
(Fri 15th Aug 2008, 21:28, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

not really a 'trade', but
I used to work in a meat packaging plant. Didn't eat meat for 6 years because of what I saw going on. It wasn't just the illiterate numpties packing down the meat in the mincing machines with their crud-encrusted boots that turned me. No, it was the special people that were employed to make up the boxes. We often saw them 'pleasuring themselves' with the latest pron mag and then going down to the shop floor to help with the food production without washing their hands (come to think of it, they often had to be reminded to wash and change their clothes on a weekly basis). The only thing I learnt from 6 years there was how to artificially inseminate a turkey.
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 23:12, More)