» Desperate Times

This is a friend's act of desperation, but also an act of pathetic genius.
He wanted a cat. His mother didn't want a cat about the house. So he bought a kitten, and just before bringing it home he poured water all over it. Then he told her that someone had put it in a bag and thrown it in a river. She felt so sorry for the wee kitty she let him keep it.
He was 26 at the time.
(Wed 21st Nov 2007, 19:26, More)

» Pointless Experiments

Can goldfish get high?
It turns out that yes, they can.

Get your block of hash, burn off a teeny tiny pinhead-sized amount and drop it in your fish bowl.
The goldfish will have a nibble, and then start swimming around like mad wee things for a couple of minutes, and then go back to normal.

Keep a lid over the tank, as they have been known to leap out.

This is very important science.
(Thu 24th Jul 2008, 12:13, More)

» My most gullible moment

I did the "gullible isn't in the dictionary" trick on a girl many years ago.
The next day she phoned me and said she'd looked for it and it wasn't there.
I believed her.
(Thu 21st Aug 2008, 19:19, More)

» What's the hardest you've tried to get dumped?

I answered the phone during sex.

(Sun 8th Jun 2008, 13:24, More)

» Gyms

It's important in the gym to use the machines correctly.
If you use the gym at an off-peak time you may find yourself the only athlete in the room. This is no time to burn valuable calories. Simply lie on the bench press table with your hands gripping the weight. Once the door opens you lift three times, counting out "Nine hundred and four, nine hundred and five,nine hundred and six." Then you stand up, claiming that you aren't on top form today, and couldn't finish your usual work out.
Word will spread, and you will soon be the most popular person in the jamesnasium.
(Fri 10th Jul 2009, 16:56, More)