» I witnessed a crime

JUSTICE......
About a year ago I was in the ladies toilets of a rock bar in town and doing my lipstick in the mirror when a man came in and stood by the door.

He seemed quite drunk so I presumed that he had made a mistake and I directed him to the gents and away he went.

I carried on doing my lipstick and the door opened again. It was the same guy. He just stood there so I told him sharply to get out of the ladies toilets.

He responded to this by punching me in the face and hitting my head against the dryer and then repeatedly kicking me whilst I was down. He then grabbed me by my hair and tried to get me into a cubicle and lock the door.

There was no way that I was prepared to be in an enclosed space with him. I have 6 brothers and I am quite accustomed to getting out of tight grasps/awkward situations so I managed to wriggle free quite a few times.

However, every time I did so (and almost reached the door to my escape) he would grab me again and get me into the cubicle again!

I eventually got free and managed to get through the door and to my dash for freedom

The toilets in the pub are down some stairs so I ran up them and my attacker had to push past me to get away. I tried to grab his leg as he went past (it’s a narrow stairway) but he kicked me back. I ran the rest of the stairs and screamed blue murder.

Some (pretty hard) male friends of mine heard and saw the guy flee and made chase. They caught him up the road (after seeing him throw my purse and mobile – he’d somehow robbed that as well as beating me up and trying to rape me) and gave him what for. They broke his ribs and jaw and although I am not a violent person myself I think he got what he deserved.

I know some people will think it’s wrong to take the law into your own hands but to attack a young woman in a ladies restroom for no reason at all is beyond belief and I dread to think how far he would have taken things had I not escaped.

I just hope it taught him a lesson.
(Tue 19th Feb 2008, 16:07, More)

» Dumb things you've done

This one is REALLY dumb!

At a works Xmas do a couple of years ago, my kind bosses had taken us all for a nice meal at a very nice Chinese restaurant on the outskirts of Leeds.

The wine was flowing freely and there was a free bar and everyone was quite merry and in the Christmas spirit, when towards the end of the evening the gentleman who plays Eric Pollard in Emmerdale came into the restaurant for a meal.

I’m a sucker for a bet and my colleagues know this only too well. They decided that it would be a good idea to dare me to ask Mr. Pollard to sign my breasts.

Full of booze and confidence I did just that and there and then he did just that!

My colleagues were all doubled over and took lots of pics. The sad thing is at the time I was really proud of myself and messaged my rocker boyfriend and all my pals thinking it was proper Rock and Roll!

The next day I awoke with a sinking feeling because having Eric Pollard from Emmerdale sign your breasts is probably the most un rock and roll thing in the whole wide world and I had told EVERYBODY!!

The worst thing is that when I returned to work the following Monday my work colleagues took glee in informing me that he was out for a family meal with his wife and kids!!!

OOOHHH THE SHAME!!!!!!!
(Thu 20th Dec 2007, 14:37, More)

» Buses

BUS LANE BASTARD
One of my biggest driving aggravations is drivers who use the bus lane when it’s in effect. I see bastards flying down it nearly every day whilst I and most over good drivers queue in the correct lane of traffic.

A bus driver made my day recently when a car driver blatantly used the bus lane all the past a busy line of traffic.

The bus driver honked at him all the way down the bus lane until we reached the normal traffic lane again.

The car driver had nowhere to go and clearly didn’t like been embarrassed. His male passenger got out of the car and pressed the door open button and was arguing with the bus driver as to what the problem was (Dickhead!!) and was told that his driver pal had flounted the rules and ridden in the bus lane for the most of his car journey.

The guy was giving it some and generally being an argumentative jerk whilst the driver just kept is cool and reminded him that the bus had a camera on the front and that he’d be sending the footage off his pal riding in the bus lane to the Police (I’m not sure for definite but I think it’s a £60 fine penalty).

This was enough for the guy to scuttle off back to his car.

Thanks bus driver x
(Tue 30th Jun 2009, 17:02, More)

» Dumb things you've done

MYSTERIOUSLY VANISHING PIZZA RIDDLE
Sorry ‘bout this but they just keep coming!

A few years back I got back to my Mums house from a night on the pish and decided to make some food. I was pretty trashed and it was more day than night after a heavy night out clubbling.

I decided a pizza would do the job and duly made the pizza, took the pizza up to bed and than ate the pizza.

I was woken a few hours later by the sound of my angry Mother shouting and telling me to get my ass downstairs straight away.

She was in the kitchen and not very happy at all about the charcoal reamins of pizza under the grill.

Now, this was very confusing to me as I remember taking the pizza upstairs and eating it.

I took my Mum upstairs and showed her my empty plate and explained that I had no idea how the charcoal pizza got there.

Thinking back, the only explanation is that I was so wankered from my nights antics that I came home, put a pizza under the grill, took my empty plate upstairs and imagined eating the pizza. My friends still take the piss now.

But then again - Who turned the grill off and how come the house didn’t set on fire if I had left the pizza there and taken an empty plate upstairs?

I guess I'll never know.
(Thu 20th Dec 2007, 14:17, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

MY B.R.I BLUNDER
I was 18 and on a bus to Bradford Royal Infirmary having drunkenly had my finger trapped in a taxi door the previous evening. It was very swollen and a shocking shade of purple.

The bus journey was pretty shite. I was feeling crabby anyway and to top it off there were a load of heroin addicts on the top deck with me and they we're being fairly loud and annoying.

Eventually I got to the B.R.I. and alighted from the bus. As the bus drove away I went to pull up the shoulder strap of my handbag and my heart felt like it was in my throat as I realized that my bag was still on the bus!

To make matters worse I had two weeks wages in there (it was pay packets back then), my mobile phone, my Visa card and my house keys.

I ran frantically after the bus but it was pretty hopeless. I stopped and started to cry and then I saw an ambulance coming out of the hospital. I don’t know what possesed me to but I flagged it down and told the driver what had happened. He told me to jump in the front and then followed the bus. I think he was driving some elderly patients home in the back and they seemed quite chuffed to be in the midst of such drama.

We drove 5 minutes to the terminal in Allerton and I jumped out when the bus pulled in. I explained (or gabbled) the situation to the driver and ran up the bus stairwell two at a time, reaching the seat I was sitting at and……MY BAG WAS THERE!!!! Complete with all of my belongings.

I was over the moon! I got off of the bus and went to thank the ambulance driver but he had driven away.

Gutted!

So a big Thank You to that kind hearted driver.

X
(Fri 3rd Oct 2008, 13:49, More)