» Accidental innuendo

It came out my nose!
My gran was visiting so that she could watch the football on Sky. Three of my mates were round also and although numerous cans of falling over water had been consumed, everyone was on their best behaviour. In wandered my two cats and knowing a soft touch for a stroke when they saw one both made a beeline for my Gran's lap. I'm sure everyone can imagine the resulting fountains of spray as four blokes all choked on their mouth fulls of beer when my gran uttered the imortal line "i've got two pussys"! It was nine years ago and i still snigger about it to this day!

Lengh? Be gentle it's my first time
(Sat 14th Jun 2008, 23:10, More)

» Get Rich Quick

Glad my brother isn't a member!
I used the ever continueing war between my brother and step mother to my financial advantage. I would steal the porn mags from under my brother's bed and sell them for a handy profit at school. My brother, convinced that my step mother was throwing the mags away would always buy more "out of principle"!

The cash from this was then ploughed into my other lucrative sideline: I would buy cheap transformers (the electrical kind) that you used on train sets/scalectrix etc, then attach them to a rotating beacon aquired by climbing over the fence of the local tractor/digger factory and stealing them off the roof of completed diggers. Hey presto! Your own bedroom disco lighting! At £15 a time i did rather well out of the whole thing (this was the mid eighties). In fact, it wasn't until i left school and got a job that i became skint!

Lengh? They wern't that kind of magazine..
(Fri 1st Aug 2008, 18:04, More)