Profile for moosefish:
none
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
- a member for 1 year, 11 months and 27 days
- it's my b3ta birthday in 4 days
- has posted 2 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 2 stories and 7 replies on question of the week
- They liked 31 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 24 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
none
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Call Centres
Hole in One
Although six months of directory enquiries work was generally nightmarish, a couple of calls did cheer me up immensely.
One was a lonely-sounding elderly man who wanted to know what would happen if he dug a hole through the earth with a spoon. We spent ages discussing what sort of spoon would be best and at what point we would hit lava.
'You're a fountain of knowledge, you are' he said. 'You should make this one of your regular services - answering any question people ask of you.'
I felt bad eventually, as the call was costing him a mint, but he seemed cheered up by it.
Another time a polite-sounding young man called up sounding distressed. Unfortunately, one of the company policies was that you had to repeat everything the caller told you to show that you'd heard them right:
ME: 'Welcome to 118118, how may I help you?'
HIM: 'I've got my cock stuck in a doughnut!'
ME: 'So that's a cock stuck in a doughnut. How can I help you with that?'
HIM: 'Well, I don't want it stuck here, do I!'
ME: 'Right, so you'd like help for a cock, stuck in a doughnut - is that right?'
HIM: 'Well I reckon I need a hospital or ambulance or something? Hey, it's turning a funny colour!'
ME: 'Right, well I can only give you one number. Would you like the hospital?'
HIM: 'I dunno, will they be able to help?'
ME: 'I'll tell you what, I'll put you through to NHS direct. You can tell them all about it.'
I wonder what they made of it?
(Fri 4th Sep 2009, 0:10, More)
Hole in One
Although six months of directory enquiries work was generally nightmarish, a couple of calls did cheer me up immensely.
One was a lonely-sounding elderly man who wanted to know what would happen if he dug a hole through the earth with a spoon. We spent ages discussing what sort of spoon would be best and at what point we would hit lava.
'You're a fountain of knowledge, you are' he said. 'You should make this one of your regular services - answering any question people ask of you.'
I felt bad eventually, as the call was costing him a mint, but he seemed cheered up by it.
Another time a polite-sounding young man called up sounding distressed. Unfortunately, one of the company policies was that you had to repeat everything the caller told you to show that you'd heard them right:
ME: 'Welcome to 118118, how may I help you?'
HIM: 'I've got my cock stuck in a doughnut!'
ME: 'So that's a cock stuck in a doughnut. How can I help you with that?'
HIM: 'Well, I don't want it stuck here, do I!'
ME: 'Right, so you'd like help for a cock, stuck in a doughnut - is that right?'
HIM: 'Well I reckon I need a hospital or ambulance or something? Hey, it's turning a funny colour!'
ME: 'Right, well I can only give you one number. Would you like the hospital?'
HIM: 'I dunno, will they be able to help?'
ME: 'I'll tell you what, I'll put you through to NHS direct. You can tell them all about it.'
I wonder what they made of it?
(Fri 4th Sep 2009, 0:10, More)
» Call Centres
tongue tied
Working for a directory enquiries company several years ago - let's call them Fun Fun? Nay - I had to say the same phrase every 30 or so seconds 'Welcome to 118118 how may I help you?' (Not how CAN I help you, mind - the wording had to be exact.)
For some reason saying those words over and over to a colourful collection of ungrateful, rude and idiotic people, made my brain flip and decide it could no longer say the phrase - my tongue started to spasm and I just couldn't get the words out.
Six hellish months later and I had modified my greeting phrase to something like 'Hello, can I help you.' I promptly got called up during a 'monitoring session', asking why I wasn't saying the right words. Was there something wrong? No, they didn't see how such a mindless repetitive task could cause something like that to happen.
That was the final straw and I quickly got out of there, but to this day I still can't say 'Welcome how may I help you' without my mouth literally convulsing in fear. . .
(Thu 3rd Sep 2009, 23:55, More)
tongue tied
Working for a directory enquiries company several years ago - let's call them Fun Fun? Nay - I had to say the same phrase every 30 or so seconds 'Welcome to 118118 how may I help you?' (Not how CAN I help you, mind - the wording had to be exact.)
For some reason saying those words over and over to a colourful collection of ungrateful, rude and idiotic people, made my brain flip and decide it could no longer say the phrase - my tongue started to spasm and I just couldn't get the words out.
Six hellish months later and I had modified my greeting phrase to something like 'Hello, can I help you.' I promptly got called up during a 'monitoring session', asking why I wasn't saying the right words. Was there something wrong? No, they didn't see how such a mindless repetitive task could cause something like that to happen.
That was the final straw and I quickly got out of there, but to this day I still can't say 'Welcome how may I help you' without my mouth literally convulsing in fear. . .
(Thu 3rd Sep 2009, 23:55, More)