Profile for Ginger Slut Monkey:
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- a member for 1 year, 10 months and 15 days
- has posted 12 messages on the main board
- has posted 59 messages on the talk board
- has posted 48 messages on the links board
- (including 1 links)
- has posted 3 stories and 11 replies on question of the week
- They liked 16 pictures, 18 links, 0 talk posts, and 5 qotw answers.
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» Shoplifting
More Fraud, really
When I was a little Slut Monkey, at the age of 10, I and my primary school chums had just discovered a fascinating new game, called 'Dungeons & Dragons'. It had books, with cool pictures of monsters and big breasted elf girls, lots of fantastically shaped dice, and NO PLAYING BOARD!
WOW. Utterly amazing. Deciphering how to play it was like learning the black arts, and we gleefully worked our way through the first levels, imaginarily killing imaginary monsters with our imaginary magic and imaginary swords. Great fun. Then suddenly it came to a halt. We needed the next 'set', which cost a whopping 10 pounds! I begged and begged my mother to buy it, but she correctly noticed 'there's something wierd about that game...' and refused.
Cow.
So what do I do? Well, one day while poring over ads for shops in 'White Dwarf' (jazz mag for chronic nerds) I noticed an ad that immediately got my attention. It was a toy shop, in Alderney (a channel island) which, alongside listing their wares also had a little box showing that they accepted credit cards. To illustrate this, they also showed a tiny picture of a credit card.
Not tiny enough. Out came the magnifying glass... its an actual picture of a credit card! I can even remember the name, 'John Williams', it was an 'Access' card, it was now my new 'flexible friend'!
So I phoned the shop, put on my best deep voice, and ordered it, using the credit card details on the ad. I asked for it to be sent to my nephew, 'Master Ginger Slut Monkey', at his home address.
It was done. All I had to do was wait.
It only bloody turned up! Trouble was, I was at school at the time, and my mum got it. Naturally curious as to why her son had recieved a package from the Channel Islands, she opened it, finding the game I had been pestering her for, and the credit card invoice.
Shit. I was in lots of it. I'll never forget the look she gave the appaling monster she had given birth to.
Still, it only taught me one thing.
Planning is everything, plausible denial is all.
Blah blah length blah di blah.
(Tue 15th Jan 2008, 13:34, More)
More Fraud, really
When I was a little Slut Monkey, at the age of 10, I and my primary school chums had just discovered a fascinating new game, called 'Dungeons & Dragons'. It had books, with cool pictures of monsters and big breasted elf girls, lots of fantastically shaped dice, and NO PLAYING BOARD!
WOW. Utterly amazing. Deciphering how to play it was like learning the black arts, and we gleefully worked our way through the first levels, imaginarily killing imaginary monsters with our imaginary magic and imaginary swords. Great fun. Then suddenly it came to a halt. We needed the next 'set', which cost a whopping 10 pounds! I begged and begged my mother to buy it, but she correctly noticed 'there's something wierd about that game...' and refused.
Cow.
So what do I do? Well, one day while poring over ads for shops in 'White Dwarf' (jazz mag for chronic nerds) I noticed an ad that immediately got my attention. It was a toy shop, in Alderney (a channel island) which, alongside listing their wares also had a little box showing that they accepted credit cards. To illustrate this, they also showed a tiny picture of a credit card.
Not tiny enough. Out came the magnifying glass... its an actual picture of a credit card! I can even remember the name, 'John Williams', it was an 'Access' card, it was now my new 'flexible friend'!
So I phoned the shop, put on my best deep voice, and ordered it, using the credit card details on the ad. I asked for it to be sent to my nephew, 'Master Ginger Slut Monkey', at his home address.
It was done. All I had to do was wait.
It only bloody turned up! Trouble was, I was at school at the time, and my mum got it. Naturally curious as to why her son had recieved a package from the Channel Islands, she opened it, finding the game I had been pestering her for, and the credit card invoice.
Shit. I was in lots of it. I'll never forget the look she gave the appaling monster she had given birth to.
Still, it only taught me one thing.
Planning is everything, plausible denial is all.
Blah blah length blah di blah.
(Tue 15th Jan 2008, 13:34, More)
» Eccentrics
My girlfriend
will not and cannot sleep unless she has first washed the bedroom floor, with a tiny flannel, by hand. She also brushes her teeth twice, once with honey and then with toothpaste.
(Sat 1st Nov 2008, 5:26, More)
My girlfriend
will not and cannot sleep unless she has first washed the bedroom floor, with a tiny flannel, by hand. She also brushes her teeth twice, once with honey and then with toothpaste.
(Sat 1st Nov 2008, 5:26, More)
» PE Lessons
the ginger kid with the head too big for his body
whose cock fell out of the leg of his shorts.
never got picked on ever again.
not me, by the way, its cold here, and i'm hung like a cashew :(
(Mon 23rd Nov 2009, 22:30, More)
the ginger kid with the head too big for his body
whose cock fell out of the leg of his shorts.
never got picked on ever again.
not me, by the way, its cold here, and i'm hung like a cashew :(
(Mon 23rd Nov 2009, 22:30, More)